Time is on my Side
by Laurawrr214
Summary: Emma is a huge supernatural fan and she doesn't know what to do when somehow she ends up in their world. She teams up with Sam and Dean to try to rewrite the story she knew. As things start to unfold she will find out that it's all a lot harder than she ever expected. Starts in season 4. [Castiel, OC]
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys so this is my first fanfic so tell me what you all think. I hope you guys enjoy! :)**

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A wise person once said, "Everyday may not be good, but there is good in everyday." That had been my motto since I got in this asylum. About a month ago things started getting weird, like finding out your pet rat is really some freak double agent who ratted out your parents to an evil warlord who seriously needs a nose job weird. I was unlocking my apartment door when it hit me. All at once, it was as if I didn't have control over my body anymore. I was just along for a ride that never ended. I hurt people, killed people. Rambo would have stepped out of the way, and there was nothing to stop it. When I finally got control, I woke up in a hospital. No time line of how long I had been out but I was glad to be me again. Cops came to visit me and get my statement, and let me just tell you, the truth will not set you free. In fact, it will get you locked up in an asylum where some guy named Fred goes around everyday asking you to butter his toast. I wasn't positive what happen but I went with the fact I was possessed by a demon. I'm not one to be crazy, or believe in things like that, and just because I've seen every Supernatural episode more than 5 times had absolutely nothing to do with it, but I think demons were a better bet than I decided to go on some crazy murder spree because I was stressed or something. I know demons don't exist but seriously what was I suppose to think? My thoughts were interrupted when one of the nurses came over to tell me two feds were here to ask about my little murder spree, just what this jellybean needed.

When I saw them, all I could do was stare. My mouth hung open like a black hole. There, walking towards me was Jared and Jensen. I had no idea what was going on. I think the pills they are giving me here have me tripping. Maybe this was all some long nightmare that was starting to turn around, starting by the hottest guys on earth in front me. They pulled up chairs and sat down. Jared cleared his throat before speaking. "Hello Ms. Robinson, we are with the F.B.I and we are here to ask you a few questions." Showing me his badge, all I could do was smile like a 4 year old who just went to Disney for their first time. I know all of you have some celebrity out there you want to meet. Who you fan girl over, and all of you know the giddy, drooling, brain dead zombies you can become. Not every fan girl is this way, but I sure was.

They exchanged glances before giving me a weird look. I just sat there smiling like a dumbass. "Ms. Robinson, I'm Todd Hamilton and this my partner Rick Anderson, and I understand this might be hard but we need you to tell us what happened. Now, you said you believe you were possessed by a demon?" Jensen asked, Sam pulling out a pen and note pad. I sat up straight in my chair pulling my knees to my chest. "Okay so… Ah… Okay… I am on like, Punk'd or something… right? I mean… Jared, Jensen…" I couldn't even make words. I just buried my head in my knees trying to breathe. I finally composed my self after a few minutes and tried again. "Okay I'm sorry, I just have dreamt of the day I get to meet the two of you. I have seen every episode of supernatural like a million times. I have so many questions to ask you guys. Why didn't you guys ever go back for Adam? Now that Kevin is dead when will a new prophet surface? Or better yet if Chuck was a prophet, why did it take so long after he disappeared for a new prophet to come to light? Do you guys think Chuck is God too because I do." I had so many questions I didn't know what to do. At this point I didn't care if I was being Punk'd or I was as high as a plane. Jensen's face went from calm to pissed in .5 seconds. He leaned over resting on his knees, all calm and happiness gone from his face.

"Excuse me!? How the hell do you know who chuck is? No one knows who chuck is. How do you know about prophets…?"

"Uh… Supernatural… the show you and Jared here are the stars of… Sam and Dean Winchester... Team Free Will... Save the world one season at a time?"

Jared and Jensen looked at each other once more. I had no idea why they were playing stupid. In my brain, they would have known this stuff. "So your saying, you know all of this from what a TV show?" Jared asked a concerned look across his face. I nodded with the same about of confusion. This wasn't starting to get funny anymore. "Son of a bitch! So your saying there is a TV show out there, with our lives all sprawled out in some… some… entertaining show? What about our lives are so interesting, first books and now a TV show. When and where did this TV show even come on?" Jensen blew up. I must say he is a lot scarier than he looks.

"Uh… everywhere? It has been on like 9 years or so… it is a very big show? I'm confused, how do you not know that? Why are you guys even here?"

"Okay listen here loony... I don't know these Jared and Jensen are but we don't know em' and we aren't them okay, and we don't know what this Supernatural show is either… obviously you know things you shouldn't. I am Dean and this is Sam, and you are going to tell us how exactly you know everything that you do because I know there ain't no show that exploits our life for millions of people to see. The books are not even that popular. So start talking blondie."

I didn't really understand but I didn't think they were joking around. No video cameras hiding, no giggles, no Ashton jumping out from around the corner. Jared and Jensen seemed to be a serious as anyone could be, pissed of on top of it. Maybe they were really Sam and Dean, but how could they? How could I have been possessed by a demon? I didn't know what was going on but I was done playing games. "Okay if you want me to talk and explain everything than you need to get me out of here. You are the F.B.I right. When I get to walk out of here a free girl I will gladly sit down and spill my heart and soul to you." I sat back crossing my arms, a little proud. Jared and Jensen exchanged a look before sighing and getting up. They walked over to the nurse that had let them in and disappeared down the hallway. I hoped that wasn't it. They would not just disappear as some figment of my imagination. Ten minutes later Mr. Andrews, the manager of this asylum, walked in and squatted down in front of me.

"Hey Emma, I know two F.B.I agents just came in to talk to you, and they need you to go with them. You are being placed in witness protection for the events that happened. So, you are being released, I need you to come with me so we can get you out of here all right?" A cheesy smile plastered all over his face. I nodded and got up following him to his office. I had to sign a bunch of crap paperwork. It took over an hour and I never thought I would need to sign that much paper in my life. After having one last therapy session, he led me to a bathroom in the main lobby where the clothes and items I had been emitted with were waiting for me. I was so happy to get this shirt and these sweat pants off, no style in this place. I slipped off the crazy clothes and grabbed the black baby doll dress I was wearing when I got taken over, throwing it over my head and on to my body. I was 5'6 and small, curves and boobs. I was good looking and I knew it, but I was glad I was never one of those "I'm better and hotter than you" types of girls. Even though I was technically "hot" and dressed to impress, appearances can be deceiving. I was one of the biggest dorks in the universe. I was that girl that no one talked to in school. I did not have many friends or anything. I never even had a boyfriend. Yet, here I was about to walk out of here with Jared and Jensen, or possibly Sam and Dean, and right then I didn't care about anything, not anyone. I let my hair down from the bun it had been in, falling down my back. After putting on my Jimmy Choo shoes, I took a long hard good look at the mirror and all I could think was I seriously needed a brush. I tried to fix my hair as best I could before walking out into the main lobby.

I noticed Jared and Jensen waiting by the door talking quietly to themselves as I walked over. "You clean you nice loony… you ready?" Jensen smirked looking me up and down and him and Jared turned and walked out the doors, walking down the million steps faster than I could keep up. We walked down the road a second before coming up to a 1967 black impala. I tried so hard not to squeal as I watched them get in. I climbed in the back seat; smile sprawled out in my face. Jensen started her up and we took of down the road.


	2. Chapter 2

We pulled up to a run down motel after driving for 20 minutes. The drive was quiet, no one spoke the whole time, I think Jensen was trying to stop his pot from boiling over. I was too busy fan girling in the back seat to even want to talk. Sure, I had a million questions but I really didn't feel like getting yelled at again. Jensen was actually scary when he yells. I just sat back and thought about that fact that here I was, Jared, Jensen, the impala. Like... Oh… my… god. Once we parked, we all got out and I followed behind trying to calm myself before we all sat down and talked because I really didn't want to come off like a complete idiot. We got to room 4 and walked in, and it was nothing I had expected. I didn't expect it to be the Ritz Carlton but the place kind of gave me the creeps. It was slowly occurring to me that whatever was going on, it was real. This wasn't Jared and Jensen... This was Sam and Dean.

Sam and Dean sat down at the little table that was pushed up against the window and Sam motioned me to sit on the bed. "Okay blondie. So start talking" Dean said, rubbing his hands down his face. I didn't really know where to start though. "Uh...okay uh... Where should I start exactly?" This wasn't easy, the more I realized I wasn't in Kansas anymore, the more nervous I actually got. "Uh just start by telling us about this show, Supernatural?" Sam said keeping those puppy dog eyes.

"Okay so Supernatural is a show about... Sam and Dean Winchester who are hunters. Every episode pretty much is a new hunt. The lady in white, vampires, ghosts, all that stuff. We get to see them... You go through every hunt. Until the apocalypse comes and then that pretty much takes over, then purgatory, leviathan, abandon, and all that stuff. We just get to see their... Your lives."

"And people actually like this? What is wrong with people" Dean spat "Okay so obviously there is no show like that here so where the hell are you from? Are you sure you didn't just figure this all out when that demon possessed you."

"It's not really that people like it because you went to hell and all the bad stuff that happened to you. People like it because people are kind of attached to the characters. Like me, every episode I pray you and Sam make up and it a can all be simple again, that you guys get the monster. It's about you kicking ass, and watching you guys save the world. You guys can be so funny sometimes. Many people have dreamed of what hunting would be. I know I have but where I live, ghosts don't really exist. Nothing does. It's... It is hard to explain... Like Dean, when you... uh I don't know!" How do you explain something like this? Sure, in my head I could think of a million things but my mouth refused to show intelligence. I sighed, I was really fucking this up.

Dean just scoffed and got up and got a beer, before taking his seat back across from his brother. We sat in silence for a minute before Sam finally chimed in. "Uh… Okay Emma, so you know about everything then. Chuck, Lilith, everything right?"

"Yeah, although I can't tell you what happens with Metatron because I missed the season finale."

"Uh... Right. Who is Metatron exactly?"

"Metatron… Evil dictator angel that cast all the angels from heaven. Makes Cas human, crazy motherfucker, like come on!"

"Does this happen after the apocalypse?"

"Yes…?"

Sam looked like he had just slapped in the face with a smelly fish. It was kind of funny, but at the same time alarming. "What's wrong Sammy?"

"If she is telling the truth that means whatever she has seen, she has seen the future, technically."

"If..." Dean scoffed getting up and pacing. "I'm not lying! I know everything ok! Ask me anything." I yelled. I am not one to get to sassy, but I hate being called a liar. "Call Cas, make his read my mind. He can tell you if I'm lying cant he."

Sam and Dean looked at each other before Sam shrugged; I guess I had a good point. I was so nervous to meet Cas. I had been to plenty of Supernatural conventions, and I've met Misha too many times to count. One time I paid to take 10 pictures in a row with him, but Misha and Cas were two completely different people. That is like comparing a rock to a slinky. Misha wasn't intimidating; he was an easy person to talk to, to be retarded with. Sure talking for 10 minutes isn't much, but through the interview, the bloopers, you know his personality. After Dean prayed for Castiel, it took a whole 2 seconds before I felt a gust of wind, and heard the sound of wings. Castiel just appeared before me and it nearly scared me half to death. As I tried to stop from having a heart attack, Dean and Sam explained what was going on and he looked at me like he just saw a talking orange in a tutu or something.

"Yes, I can see how that would be troubling Dean. She seems like a normal human to me. If you would allow me to see your thoughts, this could go much easier" He said turning to me. I just nodded and he moved right in front of me lifting two fingers and pressing them on my head. I had expected some pain or maybe some kind of memories flashing before my eyes. Nothing happened though. I looked around awkwardly, I kind of felt silly. After a few seconds, Cas took a step back before turning to Dean. "What she speaks is the truth. I'm not entirely sure where she is from, or how she got to this world, but what she does seem to know everything, past and future." Dean just moaned and sat back down pushing his beer away. "Great so now we got some chick, who seeming knows every detail about us, and things that haven't even happened yet!"

"Well Dean we can use this to our advantage, she knows everything that is going to happen. We can use that to beat Lilith, and keep the cage closed!" A gleam of hope in Sam's eyes, Dean just sat there thinking; drink his beer, trying to avoid eye contact with me. I took in a deep breath and looked down at my ring, twisting it. This was awkward, and I don't mean as if you and some girl are wearing the same prom dress awkward, this was you ran over your neighbor's cat awkward, and then it hit me. Had I really been dumb this whole time? "Why are you guys wondering about the apocalypse exactly? Shouldn't you be worrying about Metatron?"

"I think you are confused. You do know many things, but most of it has not happened yet. Right now, we are in 2009, not 2014. So technically everything that you have seen is what will be the future." Cas said in a monotone. It was weird seeing Cas in real life, and seeing him on TV. Sure, he was just as cold, and his face had no emotion, but it was deeper than Misha could have ever portrayed. I didn't know how to really react to any of this. Not only was I not in my world, where ever the hell my world was, but also now, I was 5 years in the past. I didn't believe it. Maybe I would wake up from this nightmare, sleeping my room, my cat snugged at my feet. As much as I wanted this, to meet Dean and Sam, and Castiel, it was still hard knowing I couldn't see my family and so far, this was nothing like I had expected. Although, I don't know what I really expected. To just talk to Sam and Dean? Go on a hunt? Right now I felt more like moaning myrtle… no one ever wanted to hear her whine… yet every time you went pee there she was. I stood up and started walking towards the door before Dean stepped in front of me. "Where do you think your going blondie?"

"I just need to go for a walk, get from fresh air. I just need to think a little, it would give you time to talk to Sam without this loony hanging around…" He thought about it for a second before moving aside. He caught my arm just as I opened the door, "Don't go far, and don't try to run. We can't afford for you to go running off right now okay." I just nodded before walking out. I walked to the street and around the corner, passing a bar, and a few restaurants, I didn't realize how hungry I was. I had no money though so unless I felt like robbing someone of their food, I was just gonna have to wait. After a minute or two I had felt like someone was following me and when I turned around Cas was there. He scared me half to death again, I stopped dead trying to not scream. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to startle you. Dean suggested I make sure you did not go to far."

"I said I wouldn't geez. Does Dean not trust me?" Of course, he didn't trust me. I just met the guy. Even though I should have known, he would do something like this. "You could have just walked with me, there is no need to be a creeper." I turned around and kept walking, he was easily keeping up with me. We didn't speak for a few minutes, he was more awkward than I expected. He seemed like he didn't want to be baby-sitting some stupid girl, but who would. "So… I'm guessing since I some how magically ended up in the past, and you saw like… everything, I mean like… uh… you saw everything that is suppose to happen. With you, I mean. Right?"

"Yes"

I sat down on a bus bench that we ended up passing; I took a deep sigh, leaning back on the bench. How did anyone even hold a conversation with this man? "Do you think now that you know, that you will make the same choices?" He squinted his eyes at me before looking out to the street. I see what Jensen meant when he said it annoyed him that Castiel's character would never look at him when they talked.

"There's no way of knowing. Now that I know I will do what I can to not follow that path, but you can not stray from your destiny."

"Do you think there is anyway for me to like… go home? I mean I don't know if I want to because don't get me wrong I want to help Sam and Dean, but I just don't feel like I'm wanted here."

"As far as I am concerned there is no way to send you back to your world. We have no Idea what brought you here so there is no way to tell. Although I can say I think you should stay and help Sam and Dean. I know they can be… rough… but they need you Emma. You could be the difference they need to help them through everything. They will… warm up…"

"I thought you said you couldn't stray from destiny"

"You can't, but that doesn't mean you can't try to change it. I've noticed that humans tend to be stubborn when it comes to things like this. Sam and Dean especially." He said finally turning to me. He was such a confusing man. I didn't know what to think anymore, but I guess be careful what you wish for. I had always wished I could hunt with Sam and Dean, and here and now I wanted to go home and I haven't even been with them 24 hours. I guess it's time to stop being the lame girl that sits behind the computer all day. I get to do something exciting and meaningful, which is all I ever wanted to do. I guess Cas was right, every time in the show, it always took awhile for them to warm up to someone, but once they do, they're family. I stood up and smiled, trying not to cry. "I guess we should head back huh" I shrugged, and started walking, Cas walking right up next to me. I guess for now I would make the best of all this. At least I knew that whatever does happen, I'll be as safe as I can be. Who knows, maybe this could all turn out to amazing. Although all this, Sam and Dean are real was going to take a while to get used to.


	3. Chapter 3

That night at the motel was interesting to say the least. After we talked about everything, Dean decided I needed to stay with them, and help as much as I could. He wasn't too happy about the "dead weight" as he called me, but Sam had talked him into it. Sam thought that I was important and that if the wrong people had gotten ahold of me there was no telling what they would do. I didn't really want to imagine what he meant but I knew it wasn't good. Sam tried to make me as confortable as I could be; he made me a bed on the couch after I fought to not take his bed from him. Surprisingly I always thought Dean would somehow be the nicer one, more so than Sam would. Sure Dean was a toughie but he always seemed to give more people chances than Sam, and Sam could be a dick a lot of times, but right now, he was like the sweetest guy I ever met. We all went off to bed early, Dean was planning on taking off first thing in the morning. He wanted to get to Bobby's house and figure out the rest of all this. Luckily, I had talked him into stopping of at my apartment so I could get some stuff.

When we pulled up to my place at 7 a.m, I was surprised how many people were actually out of bed on this Saturday morning. Once we got to my apartment, we walked in and I went straight for my room. Grabbing as much clothes as I could. Once I got on my second duffle bag Sam came in looking closely at all the pictures and items I had hanging up around. "So, if you're not technically from our world, how do have an apartment with all your stuff in it?" Sam seemed cautious like I was gonna flip at a simple question. "I don't really know. I don't even know how I got to this world. Nothing ever changed for me. I just woke up one morning and I guess I was here. Which was probably the same day that demon jumped me. I guess I'm more like Dorothy then I realize," I laughed. It was a good question though. It was weird because in my apartment I had things from my world, my time. I had movies and CD's that wouldn't come out for years. It was like whatever freaking time portal I was pulled through my apartment decided to come too.

After eventually filling up three duffel bags of clothes, shoes, toiletries and stuff I was finally ready. I wasn't ready to leave the only home I've had for 6 years but I still said good-bye and locked her up one last time. Dean was complaining that I had too much crap as we all carried a bag down to the car. He really had to complain about everything. It was more funny than anything, he reminded me of a little kid every time he got in these moods. Even on the show, I couldn't do much but giggle.

"I just don't understand why you need all this crap! We're gonna be on the road we can't just lug all of Ohio around with us. Like look at this" He said pulling out my hair spray from the side of the duffel, "Who needs this? Your hair is just going to get messed up anyway. Do you really need this? Or this… this… what the hell is this?" He asked grabbing out my eyelash curler. I took it from him and shoved back in the bag zipping it up, so nosey. "It's an eyelash curler Dean…"

"It looks like a some creepy torture device... Women…" We all climbed in the Impala and set out for Bobby's. The drive wasn't as long as I expected, about four and half hours in total. I was glad I was smart enough to grab my iPod because Dean and I had some crazy different taste in music. Thank God it still had all my music on it. At one point, I didn't realize I was actually singing out loud until I noticed Sam and Dean laughing. It was a nice ride though. It didn't feel awkward after that. After I used up all the juice in my IPod, I actually got to talk to them a little bit. They told me stories about when they were younger, some stupid things they would do behind their dad's back. It was nice to see them laughing and joking around. I actually didn't feel like a nuisance.

Once we pulled up at Bobby's my stomach started doing gymnastics. Bobby must have heard the loud engine because no sooner than we pulled up did he come walking down to meet us. He gave Sam and Dean a hug, before turning to me and smiling "Nice to meet you Emma I'm Bobby, the boys told me about our little situation, and don't worry to much about everything, we're gonna make you feel right at home here" He said, giving me a hug. It actually caught me by surprise. I always thought of him as cranky drunk but he was so sweet. He showed me to a room upstairs that he said would be mine for now, showing me where the bathroom and everything was. He left me alone to unpack some of my stuff, once I went back down stairs, I noticed Cas had joined the party and everyone seemed to be a little irritated. " I thought angels were supposed to be guardians. Fluffy wings, halos… you know, Michael Landon. Not dicks." Dean spat. Castiel looked like he was ready to smite him right there.

"Read the Bible. Angels are warriors of God. I'm a soldier."

"Yeah? Then, why didn't you come?"

"I'm not here to perch on your shoulder. We had larger concerns."

"Concerns? We have some future Dorothy chick who knows even things about you down here, demons going crazy and you couldn't spare a minute! And, by the way, while all this is going on, where is the hell is your boss, huh, if there is a God?"

"There's a God"

"I'm not convinced. Cause if there's a God, what the hell is he waiting for huh? Genocide? Monsters roaming the earth? The freaking apocalypse? At what point does he lift a damn finger and help the poor bastards that are stuck down here?" Dean got from his seat and started pacing, I didn't think I ever seen anyone so pissed. I wanted to say something but what could I say? It would all work out, don't give up? Sam ends up in the cage and roams around for a year going robo Sam on everyone. Watching it on TV and witnessing all this was too different. It wasn't just hoping next episode everything got better. This was life for these guys. All that stuff happens. The pain is real. When I finally jumped out my thoughts I realized Cas and Dean were still going hard at it.

"Well… Bang-up job so far. Stellar work. That's just nice." Dean yelled turning to face Cas again.

"We tried. And there are other battles, other seals. Some we'll win, some we'll lose. This one we lost. Our numbers are not unlimited. Six of my brothers died in the field this week. You think the armies of Heaven should just follow you around? There's a bigger picture here. You should show me some respect. I dragged you out of Hell. I can throw you back in." With that Castiel vanished. Dean cussed under his breath and stomped his way out to the back yard. Sam looked at me and sighed. "I'm sorry you had to see that Emma." Sam said as I took a seat next to him on the couch. "I know it's not really my place, but I think you guys can change all this around. I really do. I mean I know everything. Like… Everything. So maybe we can find a way to end all of this, with out all of it going to hell. I have watched you guys go through everything, and I know how tough you guys are, and I know how much of a toll all this stuff has on you. Sure still, all of this is a little weird but obviously I'm not dreaming, and as creepy as this sounds, I've always dreamt of somehow meeting you and Dean, and hunting and helping you guys. Somehow I'm here and I don't want to waste this time."

"That's really nice Emma, and who knows maybe we can. Tomorrow we will try to figure all of this out. I think we all need to just relax tonight." Sam had a small smile on his face as he pulled me over and gave me a hug. "I know I just met you yesterday but I already feel like you're family. I also just want to thank you, I know its not easy to learn all of this stuff, to loose your family and friends, and knowing everything, you still want to help us. That's really nice." I didn't know what to say. I feel like thanks just wouldn't have cut it. I gave him a smile, as he got up and got a drink.

The rest of the day was fun. We watched some TV, Sam taught me how to play poker and we played for a few hours, betting some pretzel sticks Bobby found in his pantry. We sat around telling stories about when we were young, or some embarrassing dates we had. It was surprising how comfortable I felt here. Dean didn't come in until really late, he didn't say much, just got some dinner Bobby had made and went to bed. After a while, Sam and Bobby had gone to bed as well and I was sitting in the living room, watching TV when I felt the gust of wind and Cas was standing in front of the couch. He didn't say anything he just stood there staring at the wall. I wasn't sure what was wrong with him but it was kind of creepy. "Hey Cas… What's up?" I asked sitting up. He turned to me and sighed before taking a seat next to me. "You okay?"

He just continued to sit there, like a rock. Not moving, not speaking. I didn't know what to do. I sat with my back to the armrest; I couldn't stop staring at him. I always had the biggest celebrity crush on Misha Collins. Not that paying $75 a piece for 10 pictures at one time would have been enough for you to guess that. He was just so funny, and gorgeous. I loved how he was with his kid, West, just one of those stupid celebrity crushes you know. It was weird though sitting here, with his double right in front of me. It was hard sometimes to not call him Misha, or joke around with him. I managed to stay calm pretty much around everyone even though inside I was freaking out. Screaming, jumping, dying. It was hard to not just hug them or turn into a psychopath who couldn't even form words. Finally Castiel spoke, waking me from my thoughts.

"Why are you staring at me?"

"I… Uh… I'm sorry, I didn't mean to" I'm sure I was red as a tomato by now. Cas squinted his eyes at me, staring me down.

"What were you thinking about?"

"Well, I was thinking about Misha Collins…"

"What is a Misha Collins?" He asked completely serious. I had to do everything I could not to laugh but that didn't work out to well. "Why was that funny?"

"It's funny because Misha Collins isn't a what, it's a who. He is the actor that… well that played you…" I said sitting up a little more.

"Played me… on this TV show from your world correct?" I just nodded; I was to embarrassed to even speak anymore. I had warmed up to Sam over the last two days, Dean had managed to keep his distance for the most part. I still felt awkward around Cas, but he didn't scare me. Sometimes in Dean's eyes, I noticed he seemed a little scared hen he spoke to Cas, but even though I knew he could kill me and I would never see it coming, it didn't bother me. "So I'm assuming you liked this Misha Collins, going based on the way you stare at me."

"I mean yeah… he's hot, and funny, and amazing, but it's still really weird for me to see you, his twin, and I mean 48 hours ago you were just a fictional character on a TV show. Now here you are sitting in front of me."

"Yes I bet that could be quite weird" I just couldn't help but laugh. Even watching the TV show, I always giggled at some of the things Cas would say or the way he would say them. I always love how stupid he was to the human things, and the lack of emotion he would have. "Why do you keep laughing at me?" He asked, I could hear just a bit of irritation on his voice.

"I'm sorry, I really don't mean anything bad by it. You're just funny Cas. The way you say things, it's just cute."

"You are a strange little girl."

"I'm 24 I'm not really little, but I guess to and old fart like you I would be." He didn't find that too amusing he just sat there, giving me looks. He ended up staying for another hour before I finally headed off to bed, both of us just sitting on the couch. He asked me things about Supernatural, and the things that happened on the show. He asked about my family and if I knew when I had somehow been transported to this world. I don't think that's why he came in the first place, but when I would ask him why he came, he would always manage to change the subject. Surprisingly I warmed up to him fast. His demeanor never changed but he seemed to lighten up a little. It was nice, to talk to Cas, he was such a good listener and he wasn't ever afraid to tell you his opinion, at least I knew that it wasn't all completely turning out bad. I knew tomorrow we were all going to sit down and figure out what I know and how to stop everything from happening, and that wasn't going to be too fun. I haven't even really seen anything yet, but just kept telling myself it would all end up okay.


	4. Chapter 4

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The next morning I was awoken by Dean yelling at me, saying it was already 10 in the morning. I guess there was no more sleeping in for me. I tried to go back to sleep but I know that just pissed Dean off more when he came back in my room 20 minutes later to find me passed out again. Once I finally got up, I took a shower, putting on some white shorts with an Ohio State sweatshirt before making my way down stairs. Someone had made eggs and bacon with toast, so I grabbed a plate, and sat down, everyone else was already at the table scarfing down their food. "About time you got up blondie. You can't sleep all day you know, the apocalypse isn't gonna be put on hold because you didn't get enough beauty sleep." Dean said, stuffing his face with bacon. I just gave him a bitch face and stuck my tongue out, which caused everyone at the table to laugh. Through the rest of breakfast, Dean decided it would be a good idea to share the dream he had last night. Needless to say, everyone lost their appetite.

After breakfast, we all moved to the living room and Dean got right to business. "Okay Emma, so tell us again how we stop Lucifer?

"Well… you don't exactly stop him…"

"I thought you said we stopped the damn apocalypse!" Dean yelled cutting me off.

"Well, you do, I didn't lie, and it's just the details. Like, you guys do everything to stop it, but Sam ends up breaking the last seal and Lucifer gets out. So you try to kill him but nothing works, and then you guys assume if you both say no to Michael and Lucifer than they cant fight, but they end up getting Adam instead of you Dean, and Sam ends up saying yes that way he can take over and throw himself back into the pit, but then technically Sam gets trapped in the cage with him and when he gets out he doesn't have a soul and he is up for a year before you realize that he is back, and he is like a maniac and is working for Crowley and yeah… Technically you do stop the apocalypse like I said before, just… there is a lot of stuff that comes with it." I sighed. I didn't want to tell them all of that. I wanted to tell them sure they beat Lucifer and went on to a simpler life, but as a TV show, it wouldn't had made it very far without sometime big.

"Okay okay, we need to back track a little bit here. Crowley, he is that crossroads demon right?"

"Yes but he later becomes the King of Hell… and he wants you guys to kill Lucifer. He even gives you guys the colt but it doesn't work on him."

"And you said I break the last seal. How exactly? I would never do that, we are trying to stop this." Sam said, a painful look across his face. I felt so bad telling him that no matter how hard they tried it was mostly pointless. "Yeah, killing Lilith… it's the final seal. Ruby ends up tricking you in to killing her in some church and that's when the final seal is broken."

Dean got up and started pacing. I could tell he was fuming, but I knew there wasn't anything I could say to make any of this better. "So in other words what you're saying no matter what the hell we do, Lucifer gets the hell out of that cage." He turned to Sam, shaking his head, "I told you that bitch was no good Sam. See!"

"Okay look Dean just calm down, I just... Won't see her anymore. I'll avoid her. Anything I can do, I don't want to break these seals anymore than you Dean" Sam replied defensively.

Dean rubbed the back of his neck continuing with his interrogation. "Alright so who is this Adam guy and what did you mean by me I say no to Michael"

"Well you are Michael's vessel I guess is as simple as I can put that. And Sam is Luci's but you refuse Michael no matter how much the angels try to get you to say yes. So they get your half brother Adam to take your place, since I mean it's kind of the same bloodline."

"Wait, we don't have a half brother..." Dean barked.

"Actually you do, you just don't know it yet. His name is Adam Milligan or something like that… McMillan? I don't know"

"I think we would know if our dad had another son out there blondie! He would have told us! He wouldn't do that! Do you no anything about this?" He turned to Bobby now, who just shook his head.

"Tell us about uh... what did you call him... Robo Sam..." Dean said as he poured himself a drink.

"After you guys get Luci back in the cage, like I said Sam goes with him and he gets out pretty much that same day, but when he gets pulled out, his soul didn't come with him. So he walks around soulless for a year before you find him. Bobby knows but neither of them tell you because you get with Lisa and they want you to be happy because you finally got out of the life."

"Awesome. You guys rock!"

"Hey it ain't happened yet son! And chances are if I went around lettin' you think your brother was dead for a year there was a damn good reason I must of done it!" Bobby yelled.

Sam stood after that, putting his hands up defensively. "Look the whole point of this is so we can stop ourselves from making the same mistakes. I know it's all really hard to hear but we have an advantage. If I just lay back and don't kill Lilith, then Lucifer will never get free and we won't even need to worry about this. So let's just focus on that for right now"

"Sam's right Dean. Lilith should be our main priority. We need to find a way to kill her without Sam going in on some suicide mission" Bobby replied. Dean sighed finally taking a seat on the couch next to me.

"Okay, we'll for now I think we just need to try to keep our minds off of her. Go back to normal hunts. At least until we can figure out another way to kill her." Dean said almost seeming to give up.

Sam nodded and perked up a little. "Actually I might already have us a case," getting his laptop off the dining room table "Bedford, Iowa. Guy beat his wife's brains out with a meat tenderizer."

"Ew..." I said making a face. Sam let out a small laugh before continuing "Oh yeah... And get this. Third local inside two months to gank his wife. No priors on any of 'em, all happily married."

"Sounds like Ozzie and Harriet" Dean replied, taking another gulp of whiskey.

"More like the shinning." Sam laughed putting his laptop back on the table. "Sounds like a good place to start" Dean said as he turned to me. " Before we go though you need to get tatted up" he pulled his shirt down showing his tattoo and all I could do was laugh.

I stood up and pulled my sweatshirt up a little and the side my pants down an inch to show my right hipbone. Dean just laughed and shook his head. "Of course you already have the tattoo, I should have guessed as much right."

With that out of the way, we all went and packed a bag, saying goodbye to Bobby before we all hoped in the impala ready to go. Dean took a minute as he talked to Bobby before climbing in with Sam and me. He turned and gave me a cell phone that he said already had all their numbers in it. After a minute of squabbling, we took off for Iowa. On the way to my first hunt.

A few hours into the drive Dean decided to stop off at some diner so we could eat dinner. We all climbed out making our way into the diner. I grabbed the first booth I saw, Dean took a seat across from me and Sam squeezed his big butt next to me. "So Emma, I have a little question about uh… Supernatural" Dead smiled. "Go ahead" I said leaning back in my seat.

"So uh… who was your favorite?."

Of course Dean would ask something like this, "Well, it's kind of a tie between you and Cas. No offense Sam," I paused giving him a smile. "But I guess if I had to choose I'd say you. Complete Dean Winchester fan girl."

"I like the sound of that!" He laughed, "Do I get any perks from having my own personal fan girl" He winked at me, and I knew my face must have gone red because he couldn't stop laughing.

"Well if you count me obsessing over you and mentally dating you perks, than sure…" I said, getting quiet as the waitress brought our food.

"Mentally dating me huh…? So all these girls, all the same way?" He asked taking a bite of his burger.

"I mean yeah most of them. Not everyone is the same type of fan girl. I mean as much I'm like… in love with you, I'm sure there is girl out there who is ten times more in love you. Like this one thing I saw on tumblr, some girl printed out a million pictures of Mishsa, and plastered them on every inch of her walls. Top to bottom. I call that dedication."

"What's a Misha…?" His face flashed with confusion. It was funny how retarded these men were. "Misha is a who… geez. He is the actor that plays Castiel." I said stuffing a fry in mouth.

"Well I kind of want to go your world. Hey, I'll take a million girls crawling all over me." He had a huge cocky smile on his face. Sam laughed and shook his head, not bothering to jump in.

"Well, considering a lot of the girls are under the legal age, that might not be a good idea."

Dean's face dropped after that, before something popped in his head, and he just gave me a smirk. After we finished eating Dean and I walked out to the impala while Sam said he had to "unleash the beast."

We leaned up against the back of the impala; Dean had the most serious face as he watched the traffic fly by. "So why me?" He asked looking down at me.

"Why you what? Why I like you?" He just nodded. "I like you because you never give up. Not on anything or anyone. You go through so much for everyone, even people you don't even really know that well, and that's amazing. No one really has the strength to do that, but you do. Watching you go through everything and to get back up and go at it twice is hard, it makes you special. I like how funny and childish you are about everything, and the fact that if you want you can be probably be the sweetest guy ever. There's a lot I like about you Dean, we could be here all night." I laughed.

He just nodded, and I could see a small smile on his face. He was about to say something when Sam came back from the bathroom. "Is everything alright guys?" He asked stopping next to dean.

"Yeah, are you okay? I must have been a big one" Dean joked as Sam hit him in the arm. We all climbed our way into the impala and got back on the road. We had another few hours before we got to Iowa, so I pulled my IPod and starting listening to music. The drives so far were boring; I don't know how Sam and Dean got used to this. Although I guess growing up this way, you would get pretty used to it. I just sat back and tried to figure out where in the timeline we were. At least I could help with the case if I could remember what episode we were technically in.

After a few minutes, I randomly started to get tired and stretched out a bit before dosing off to sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

When I woke up a few hours later, I noticed I wasn't in the impala anymore. I sat up and looking around the motel room. Dean was sitting on the couch watching TV, while Sam sat at the table doing something on his laptop. I stretched before looking over at the clock next to bed. 6:30 a.m. I don't even know I slept so long. "How'd you sleep?" Dean asked walking past as he went to the mini fridge and grabbed out a beer.

"Fine, I guess. How long have I been out?"

"About 10 hours. We tried to wake you up when we got here but you were knocked out," Dean laughed taking his seat back on the couch.

"Well thank you guys for carrying me up here"

"Least I could do for my favorite fan girl" Dean winked at me. I just laughed and got up. I hate that feeling you sometimes get after a nap, when you feel like you just got run over by an 18-wheeler, and then were put in the middle of a nuclear bomb. I felt that way after almost every nap, like I thought naps were meant to be pleasant. I went to the fridge and opened it up, grabbing out a bottle of water and joining Sam at the table.

"So what's up?" I asked taking a drink. Sam looked from his laptop long enough to give me a smile before his eyes darted back to the screen. "Nothing really. Research. We are going to head over to the Jail in a bit and talk to this guy Benson, see why he ganked his wife."

"Sounds fun. What should I wear? I am assuming you guys will be dressed in your fed uniforms. I don't really have anything F.B.I worthy… I could be like your guys assistant or something."

Sam looked passed me to Dean, exchanging a glance before moving his eyes back to me. "Well Emma, actually we thought it would be better if you stayed in the motel for right now." Sam said, lowering his laptop screen

"What… no… I came to help you guys! I want to help!" I yelled getting up. "Emma I know, I get it, and you will help us, we just think that it's better for you to ease your way into hunting. We don't want anything to happen to you Emma." Sam replied, his puppy dog eyes in full swing. I didn't know what to say. I knew it wasn't my decision in the end. I knew they were just looking out for themselves and me. They didn't need dead weight right now. I knew it all made sense but I couldn't help but feel hurt.

I felt the tears coming, I just ran out the door as fast I could and down to the parking lot. I stopped at the side of the motel that faced the street. I slid down the wall and pulled my knees to my chest. I knew I shouldn't have been this upset but I got my hopes up. Dean walked up a few minutes later, sliding down to sit next to me. "Hey blondie" He said, looking down at me. I didn't speak, I didn't even look at him, and he just sighed.

"Look… Emma… I know you were looking forward to coming and helping but we really are looking out for you. We have no idea what we are hunting and we want to ease you into this. I can't afford to go and loose my favorite fan girl the second I get her." He laughed, once he notice I wasn't going to speak he continued, "Your still going to help out ok. Just from the sidelines. I know that this must all be hard on you Emma, and I know sure you love us, but you got thrown into a fucked world, and obviously you came into our lives for a reason, and I'll be damned if I let something happen to you right now. I just met you Emma but I feel like it's been years. 3 days and your already like family kid. You should feel special. I don't want to see you get hurt, so please, for your biggest crush… just trust me on this ok?"

I looked up at him, before I just completely lost it again. This time I wasn't crying because I was hurt, but because that was so sweet. I didn't really know why I was being such an emotional baby but I hated it. Dean grabbed my shoulder and pulled me into him, wrapping his arms around me. I buried my head in his shoulder and let it all out. I cried for another 5 minutes before finally calming down. I pulled away from him and wiped my eyes, laughing.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to go all chick flick on you. I know you hate it." I said, trying to smile.

He let out a laugh, leaning back against the wall. "Yeah, well I'll let this one time slide. But no more got it!" He said nudging me with his shoulder. I laughed before sighing and getting up. Dean stood up with me and gave me another hug. I had to say though Dean gave the best hugs. We made our way back up to the room and Sam was already dressed in his F.B.I suit.

Dean grabbed his suit and went into the bathroom to change. I took a seat on the couch, grabbing my IPod out of my duffle, turning it on. "Hey you ok." Sam asked, taking a seat next to me.

"Yeah I'm fine. Just… P.M.S or something" I laughed, looking over at him. He smiled and stood back up as Dean came of the bathroom, all dressed up as well.

"Okay Emma, call if anything happens alright. Anything. We will be back soon. There's money in my duffel bag so you can order some food if you get hungry before we get back. And please… Don't go anywhere all right." Dean said, tying his shoes and standing up. He smiled and him and Sam headed out the door. I got up to lock it and let out a sigh. I turned around, screamed falling back against the door. Cas was standing in front of me like a statue. "God Cas, it's not okay to scare the crap out of people! I don't know if you get some weird satisfaction out of it but you need to chill out on that!" I yelled, standing up straight again.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to startle you. Dean called me and asked me to watch out for you." He said, squinting his eyes at me. I sighed and walked past him to the couch and took my seat back. He followed and sat next to me, stiff as a statue. I should have guessed I would have gotten a babysitter again. I grabbed my iPod, and started playing flappy bird. Cas just watched me play the game. Not speaking or moving. It was kind of creepy to have him just sitting there staring at me. I finally stopped and handed out my iPod to him. "Here try it."

He just looked at me and back to the ipad. "It's not going to bite you Cas, come on it's really fun." I said pushing the iPod into his hands. I sat up straight leaning over him a little, that way I could see the screen. "Okay so you just tap the screen like this" I moved my hands over his, making his thumb tap the screen. "And you try to avoid those pipes or you die, and you have to see how many pipes you can get through without dying." He just looked over at me, again not speaking before I moved my hands. I watched the bird fall and die and I just shook my head with a smile. "Come on Cas… try"

He let out a sigh before turning his attention to the iPod and gave it a shot. I watched him try probably a million times but he only made it through the first pipes once. I couldn't help but laugh and giggle when I noticed he seemed to get irritated. After 20 minutes of trying, he tossed the iPod back at me, a little bit of anger on his face. "I don't see how you can find that entertaining." He spat, not making eye contact with me.

"Oh trust me, the first time I played this game I think I threw my iPod about 16 thousand times in anger before I finally got the hang of it. It's irritating but fun. Every time I get a new high score it just makes me want to play it more to prove that I can go higher."

"That's very pointless Emma. It's a game you can't prove anything to it."

I just shook my head and laughed. "You're such a goober" I leaned back against the couch and sighed before just getting up. I walked over to my duffle, pulled out a pink strapless dress, and went to the bathroom to change. Once I was done, I grabbed my white sweater pulling it on and started looking for shoes. "What are you doing Emma?" Cas asked standing behind me. I pulled out some white heels and started putting them on.

"I'm bored. Thought I would go for a walk, get some breakfast." I said, putting on my other shoe. I walked over to the mirror and gave my self a once over before grabbing the money out of Dean's duffel. "Dean gave direct orders not to leave the motel room Emma."

"I get that, but what he doesn't know won't hurt him. Besides, I got a big bad angel with me, I think I will be ok." I said walking up to Cas. He fidgeted a little before letting out a sigh. I smiled and grabbed his hand dragging him out of the room.

We walked around town for 20 minutes before coming up to a restaurant called "Holly's", the whole time Cas hadn't spoken, just listened to me telling stories about my life before I came to this world. Once we got in the restaurant, we were seated at booth with a huge window looking out to the town. I started looking over the menu. Cas just sat there, watching my every move. "Take a picture, it lasts longer." I laughed setting my menu to the side. The waitress came over and took my order, Cas of course didn't get anything, and he just ignored her when she asked not even bothering to speak.

"Well your just in a great mood today Cas. You okay?"

"I've been thinking a lot about the thoughts that you shared with me. Thinking about what the right course of action would be." He said completely monotone.

"Yeah… and what did you come up with?"

"I believe… that it would be best if I stayed down here with you and the Winchesters. Help stop Lucifer from being set free."

"Wow, so just turn your back on the angels?" I asked taking a sip from my water the waitress had dropped off. He just sat there for a few minutes contemplating things in his head before finally nodding.

"Yes, I believe it is what's best. I can not serve under people who allow this type of thing to happen."

"Well maybe it's for the best Cas. Angels are dicks anyway. Trust me I know," I said pointing to my head, "and now so do you. I know you said that we can't stray from our destinies or whatever, but I think we can. I know how this story all goes, and it would be so nice to see it end a different way. A better way."

"You can not change destiny no matter how hard you try." He said, looking around the restaurant. I sighed and started eating the pancakes I ordered, not wanting to say anything else. He could say that all he wanted but deep down I knew that everyone held their own destiny in their hands. Only we were capable of changing it.

"I believe you… you know."

I looked up at him confused, "What?" my mouth still full of pancakes. "What you just thought. I do agree with you, that our destiny is in our own hands." He said finally looking back at me.

I swallowed the rest of my food giving him a look. I forgot angels could read minds. "Okay Cas you do realize you contradict yourself pretty much every time you speak right."

"What I believe and what I know are two different things Emma." He spat squinting at me. I shrugged and let out a sigh. I suppose he had a good point.

We sat in silence for the rest of the time as I finished my breakfast. Once I done, I pushed my plate away and let out a sigh of satisfaction. I looked over to Cas who was just staring out the window, before I started shuffling through my wallet. "Well we should probably get heading back in case Dean decided to come home early." I left the money on the table before getting up and walking out. I made my way to the ally on the side of the restaurant before turning to face to Cas. "Okay lets go."

He stared at me confused, tilting his head to the side. "I thought we were going back to the motel"

"Zap us back. Please, I always wanted to know what it was like to zap around every where" I said a huge smile on my face. He stared at me for a minute before resting his hand on my shoulder zapping us back to the motel. It was interesting to say the least. As soon as Cas had placed his hand on me, the world around me turned into a bright white light, and just as soon as the light appeared, it was gone and we were in back in the motel room.

I just stood there for a second before I started squealing. I gave Cas a hug and jumped around a little. He put both his hand on my shoulders holding me in place. "Are you feeling alright? What's wrong?" He asked, worry in his tone. I just laughed shaking his hands from my shoulders.

"Nothing is wrong Cas, that was just… so awesome!" I said smiling. I took a seat on the bed, taking my shoes off. He still had concern all over his face. I stood up and gave him another hug. "Thank you Cas, for letting me go out, and I promise I'm okay… I'm just a little weird sometimes." I laughed going to sit on the couch. He eventually walked over and took a seat next to me, and just at that moment, the lock on the door started to jiggle, and I felt my heart drop.


	6. Chapter 6

I sat there frozen, watching the door handle jiggle, someone on the other side trying to get in. I knew it wasn't Sam or Dean they would have just knocked. Cas stood and started walking to door, his angel blade already in his hand. I saw the door fling open, and before I knew it, there was a bright light and Cas was gone. I looked up and noticed a tall man in 20's in shorts and a black T-shirt. He looked like he just came from a college party or something. He just stood there, his hand still on the front of the door, where he drew the banishing Sigil. He looked around the room before setting his eyes on me.

I gabbed the phone and started calling Dean, running into the bathroom and locking the door. Of course lucky for me, we had gotten a middle room, which meant there was no window in the tiny bathroom. I pushed all my body weight up against the door, and I could hear the man walking over. Dean picked up after the first ring, thank god for that. "Hey Emma what's…"

"Dean there is someone here, Cas is gone, and I don't have anything to protect myself!" I yelled cutting him off. "What!? Ok we are on our way just try to safe Emma. Grab anything you can. There is a gun in my duffel bag grab it and shoot"

I was about to speak before the guy kicked in the door and I fell straight to the floor. I turned around looking up at the man as picked me up, dragging me out the bathroom. He threw me in one of the chairs at the table and tied me down. I tried to kick him and hit him but every time I got a punch in nothing seemed to faze him. He stood in front of me and squatted down so he was eye level with me. "Where are the Winchesters?" He asked, his eyes flashing to black.

"Um… Well obviously as you can see they aren't here right now, but I would love to take a message for you. You don't need to wait around for them, I can call you back when they get in."

He smiled and looked me up and down. "You think this funny?…. and who are you exactly? I've never seen you with the Winchesters before."

I tried to go through my brain thinking of that exorcism chant that Dean and Sam always used. Of course, I didn't know it and even if I did, I doubted I would have even said it right. Not answering him just pissed him off more, and he slapped me across the face. "It it's not nice to hit people!" I yelled, kicking him in his shin.

"And kicking is much nicer? I'm not going to ask you again. Where are the Winchesters?" He said, grabbing out a knife from his pocket. I didn't know what to do, I had no Idea where they were, and if I did, I wasn't going to tell him. I couldn't believe it has been under a week and I was already going to die. All I could do was pray I could stall long enough for someone to show up. "Where are they!?"

"Well technically you did just ask again smart one… Were you dumbed down when you went to hell? Or were you just always a little slow?" I asked, trying to keep it all together. He gave me a smile and jammed the knife into my gut, twisting it a full 180 before pulling it out. I couldn't even scream I was in so much pain. I just looked down at my dress that was starting to turn deep red.

I tried to get out of the chair, fighting with all I had and out of the corner of my eye, I saw I bright white light that began to fill the room. I looked up after it was gone and Cas was bent down in front of me, untying me from the chair. I was trying to focus on his face but everything started going in and out. He picked me up and laid me on the bed. Just as he set me down, I saw Sam and Dean run into the room before everything went to black.

When I woke, we were in a different motel. I opened my eyes looking around, I didn't see anyone until I sat up and noticed Cas sitting on the couch. Once he saw I was awake, he came over and sat next to me on the edge of the bed. "How are you feeling?" He asked looking me up and down. I pulled myself up so I was sitting up against the headboard.

"I'm okay," I said moving my hand down to where my stab wound used to be, "My head hurts, but that's pretty much it. Where are Sam and Dean?"

"They went go get some things." He replied, his eyes still staring intensely at me. I couldn't believe that all just happened. If it wasn't for Cas, I could have died. I guess this was my life now if I stayed with Sam and Dean. Constantly being attacked and hurt. I didn't know how anyone could live like this. Part of me wanted to just run. Run far far away, back to my apartment and live a normal life. I wouldn't have my family or the few friends I had but that didn't mean I couldn't make new ones.

On the other hand, part of me wanted to just go and kick every demon's ass for being so fucked up. I didn't want to leave Sam and Dean. I couldn't do that to them. I look up at Cas, tears streaming down my face. "Thank you Cas, so much… thank you" I said softly throwing myself in his arms. For a minute, he just sat there, before slowly and awkwardly wrapping his arms around me. He didn't speak; he just let me lay against him, crying my eyes out.

Sam and Dean walked in a few minutes later with bags, setting them on the table. "Hey Emma, how you doing?" Sam asked walking over to us. I stood up and gave him a hug. Cas standing with us. "I'm okay," I said wiping my tears and smiling.

"You better be okay blondie. Can't afford to have you getting scared off on us now." Dean chimed in with a smile. I ran over to him and gave him a hug, keeping the smile on my face. "Hey hey, I said one chick flick moment remember? You have to pay for the rest." He joked turning his attention to the bags. He pulled out some beer and chips from the first bag, and medicine from the second. He threw a bottle of Advil at me, nodding. "Thanks, my head is killing me." I smiled.

"I guessed as much." He said putting the beer in the fridge. I took two Advil before taking a seat back on the bed. Sam and Dean took seats at the table and Cas stood by the nightstand next to the bed. "Ok Emma so do you think you can take us through what happened?" Sam asked, resting his arms on his knees.

"Well it all happened so fast, me and Cas were just sitting there, and this guy comes barging in, sending Cas away. So, I grabbed the phone and ran to bathroom to call you guys. I wasn't strong enough though so he got in and grabbed me, tying me to the chair. Um… I remember him asking me where you guys were. That's all he cared about. Where were the Winchesters? When I wouldn't answer any of his questions, he just lost it and stabbed me. That is really it, then Cas showed up like my knight in a…. trench coat I suppose" I said softly laughing at the end.

"He didn't say what he wanted or why he was there? Didn't look for anything?" Sam asked.

"No, I mean he took a second when he first sent Cas away and looked over the room but that was about it." I shrugged.

"Okay well…" Sam said looking at Dean, when Cas interrupted him. "I may know why demons came after you, give me a minute." And he vanished. We waited around for hours. Dean tried calling him, praying to him; anything and everything he could think to get him to zap his butt back down here. After a while, he gave up and we all just tried to relax. I took a shower and changed, Sam went searching the Internet for any signs of demon activity that could explain why they seemed so interested in them all of a sudden. Dean sat on his butt watching TV most of the day, until I talked him into playing poker with me.

I was up by 10 potato chips when Castiel finally zapped back in. Only he wasn't alone. Another man stood with him, an angel no doubt. If I remembered correctly, his name was Uriel.

"Winchester and Winchester" He said nodding at them. Dean threw his cards down and stood up. "Oh come on!" He yelled.

"You are needed." Uriel said unfazed.

"Needed? We just got back from needed!" He screamed walking over to stand in front of them.

"Now you mind your tone with me." He said a little irritation in his voice. Dean just scoffed shaking his head. "No you mind your damned tone with us!" Dean spat.

"We just got back from a hard day, full of Sirens and Demons." Sam said looking between Uriel and Cas.

"Yeah you know Emma over here… Being attacked by demons… almost dying… did you forget that damned fast Cas! She almost died today so how about you stop pushing us around like freaking chess pieces for five damned minutes!" Dean yelled.

Uriel stepped forward and looked down at Dean "We raised you out of hell for our purposes."

"Yeah. What were those again? What exactly did you want from me?"

"Start with gratitude." Uriel said, causing dean to laugh. Cas sighed and stepped up behind Uriel. "Look Dean I know this is difficult to understand"

"And we…" Uriel said looking back at Castiel "Don't care. Now seven angels have been murdered, all of them from our garrison. That last one was killed tonight."

Dean stared at Cas for a second before he started to pace. "Demons? How are they doing it?" Uriel only shrugged. Sam finally stood, crossing his arms over his chest. "I'm sorry, but what do you want us to do about it? I mean, a demon with the juice to ice angels has to be out of league right?"

"We can handle the demons, thank you very much." Uriel said, giving Sam a hard look.

"So you need help hunting a demon?" I asked, a little confused. Castiel met my gaze finally, and I had to say he looked a little sad. "Not quite…" Cas said. "We have Alastair."

"Well good! He should be able to name your trigger man!" Dean replied, finally standing still.

"But he won't talk. Alastair's will is very strong. We've arrived at an impasse" Cas replied.

"Yeah, well, he's a black belt in torture. I mean, you guys are out of your league." Dean said staring Cas down. Uriel sighed, seeming to get very impatient. "That's why we've come to his student. You happen to be the most qualified interrogator we've got." Uriel said, his face scrunching a little. Dean didn't speak only looked down at the floor.

"Dean you are our best hope" Cas said, his voice seemingly more gentle. Dean shook his head, fidgeting on his feet. "No. No way. You can't ask me to do this Cas, not this."

Uriel walked up to Dean and stopped right in front of him. "Who said anything about asking?" and they were gone.

"Damn it!" Sam yelled, slamming his laptop closed. He started pacing before picking up his phone and calling someone. "Hey… yes I need your help… Angels, they took Dean and we have no way to track him… Yeah… Redroof Motel, Waterloo Iowa… Okay, see you soon" and with that, he hung up. He turned to me and sighed. "Okay Emma, I know you may not completely agree with this, but we both agree we need to find Dean right?" I nodded as he continued, "Ruby is on her way, she can track Dean for us. In the mean time, we will try to pray for Cas and…"

"Ruby!? Sam you said no more! Remember what she does? There has to be another way to find Dean." I yelled interrupting him. He sighed and threw his hand up in the air in defeat. "Well if you got any Idea's lets hear em."

Except I didn't, I had a feeling praying to Cas wasn't going to do much good. Whatever happened in those hours he was gone, he seemed to be back on team Angel. I looked at Sam and saw the pain in his eyes, he was putting up a front, but I could tell he was terrified. I walked over and gave him a hug before sitting down at the table with him. "I promise not to tell Dean, if you promise, no more Ruby after this."

"I promise Emma, I do" He said, a small smile on his face. I smiled back and leaned down into the chair. I guess for now I was just going to have to get over the fact that I hated Ruby and work with her, for Dean's sake.


	7. Chapter 7

While we waited for Ruby to show, we packed up everything and put in the impala. I decided to change since I knew it wouldn't be smart to wear a dress trying to go on a rescue mission. I was in the process of changing when I heard a knock at the front door. Part of me wanted to just stay in the bathroom and wait until she left, but I knew I couldn't do that. I finished pulling my jeans up and threw on my Ohio State sweatshirt before taking a deep sigh and joining Ruby and Sam in the room.

When I walked out, Sam already had a map sitting on the table, him and Ruby standing over it talking low. They tuned to me and Sam gave me a sorry look. "Ruby this is Emma." I just smiled and nodded, before going to stand next to Sam. I hated the feeling I got from her, It made me want to turn into a turtle and go in my shell. I don't know how Sam every liked her. I mean sure they were so cute together, but only in the real world, where she wasn't a psychopath.

She started chanting something, setting the map on fire. Sam took a step back, his face looked like he just seen a ghost. "Relax. The fire is our friend. Besides, the only part of the map we need is the 'where's Dean?' Part." She said bending over the flames a little more before saying "Out" I stared at the the map as I watched the flames vanish. The map was completely charred except for a small circle in the middle, which remained untouched.

"There. Your brother's there. It's a good thing angels aren't concerned with hiding their dirty business. Not used to being spied on I guess. I mean, who'd be stupid enough to even try?" She said taking a few stepped back from the table looking at Sam. Sam stared at her for a few seconds before turning to me with a guilty look. "Emma, do you think you could give us a few minutes?" Sam asked.

"Excuse me… Sam I—"

"Emma, please, I promise it will be ok. I just need to talk to her all right." He interrupted, a pleaing look in his eyes. I sighed walking to the door, I looked back at him and shook my head. I just prayed he was going to be smart. Which I think we all knew wasn't going to happen. I walked out slamming the door behind me and made my way down to the parking lot. I leaned up against the impala and closed my eyes.

"Okay so I don't really know how this works but Cas, if you can hear me please come. I don't know what happened… but Cas… just… Please." I could not form words; I felt the tears welling up in my eyes. I felt a gust of wind and the sound of wings as I opened my eyes I saw Cas was standing in front of me, his face was stiff, but I could see something in his eyes.

"Emma" He said nodding. "I shouldn't be here, I'm suppose to be keeping an eye on Dean…"

"Somehow I think he'll be ok for a few minutes. Where's Uriel?" I asked standing up straight.

"He went to receive revelation."

"Right" I nodded taking a step towards him. "Why are you letting Dean do this? You know this is wrong."

"He is doing God's work Emma." His face hardening.

"Torturing? That is God's work? You have to stop him, Cas, please. Before you ruin the one real family you have."

"Who are we to question the will of God?" His voice rose a little. I didn't understand where the Cas I talked to just yesterday went. It was as if he was a completely new person. One I hadn't ever seen before. "Unless this isn't his will." I said.

"Then where do the orders come from?"

"I don't know, one of your superiors, maybe, but not God. Come on Cas you know this!" I said pointing to my head. "Remember, you know everything! I cannot remember exactly what happens in this exact point but if it was up there and you saw it then that means you do. Don't you remember how this all plays out Cas? What happened to you? You were gone for what, like 8 hours and now you are back to not caring? I thought you said you didn't want to make the same mistakes again."

Castiel looked away from me, refusing to meet my eyes. "Cas come on… you know this isn't right, you know deep down what's going on here. I know it's hard to just turn your back on the only family you have known but you can't possibly have forgotten everything I showed you." I grabbed his hand making him look at me. "What your feeling right now, it's called doubt."

He looked down at my hand on his. "These orders are wrong and you know it. You can still do the right thing. Your afraid Cas, I would be too but together, all of us, we can still—"

"Together?" He said yanking his hand away. "I am nothing like you." He spat

"Cas—" but before I could speak he was gone. I didn't know what Uriel did to him but It wasn't good. I just hoped he would realize what a mistake he was making. He had everything he needed to see the monsters that most angels were and yet it was as if he didn't care. I started walking back when I saw Sam and Ruby already walking towards the impala. Ruby went off around the side of the building and Sam walked over throwing the last bag in the backseat.

"So did you have fun talking Sam…" I asked, crossing my arms. He sighed getting behind the wheel of the car and shutting the door. Of course, he was never going admit to drinking Demon blood but I knew he did, which meant it was time to detox. I climbed in the passenger side, getting comfortable as we took off. Neither us spoke for the first hour, Sam speeding down the road. I stared out the window hoping that what we were about to see wasn't going to be as bad as I imagined. After a while, I decided it was time to remove the elephant in the car.

"Sam I know you don't want to talk about it but I get it okay. The demon blood helps, it gives you powers, makes you stronger and all that crap, but it is not the answer. This is how Ruby traps you into following her. She knows you are addicted which mean she knows you will keep calling her. We are supposed to be stopping little ole Luci from paying the Earth a visit. Not sending him a golden ticket to the apocalypse."

Sam let out a sigh looking at me and back to the road. "I know Emma, and I just… This will be the last time all right. But I thought it would be a good idea if we had some extra juice..." He said. I didn't know what to say. No? It was a smart idea just not this way. It didn't need to happen this way.

We pulled up to an abandoned warehouse, rust climbing the walls. We got out and ran in looking through the few rooms we came across. There was no one in sight, when we started to question if we went to the right place or not, we heard screaming. Weaving our way through the warehouse we finally found the room Dean and Alastair were in.

Dean was passed out on the floor, blood all over his face. Alastair had Cas pinned up against one of the pillars in the room, choking him. Alastair was chanting something in what I assumed was Latin, and a blue light started to appear in Castiel's eyes and mouth. Sam stood behind them, holding up his hand, and Alastair started choking. He was slammed up against the wall, and I watched Cas slump to the ground.

I ran over to where Dean was and tried to wake him but he would not budge. I pulled him up so his head was on my lap and watched as Sam interrogated Alastair.

"Who's murdering the angels? How are they doing it?" Sam asked

"Who says I'm gonna tell you?" Alastair spat with a smile on his face. Sam twisted his hand and I watched as Alastair's eyes rolled white and he started choking. I looked at Cas who could not seem to take his eyes off Sam. He actually looked a little scared.

"How are the demons killing angels?" Sam asked again. Alastair tried to look at him but I could tell he was in more pain then he had probably ever been through. "It's not us. We are not doing it," He said through the screams.

" I don't believe you" Sam said with another twist of his wrist.

"Lilith is not behind this. She wouldn't kill seven angels. Oh, she'd kill hundreds, thousands." He spat, that sick smile returning. Sam stopped whatever he was doing to him and lowered his hand. Alastair laughed, still pinned up against the wall. "Go ahead. Send me back. If you can"

"I'm stronger than that now. Now I can kill." Sam said raising his arm once more. Gold light started to flare inside of Alastair as he started to scream. It took seconds before Sam lowered his hand and Alastair collapsed on the floor, dead. Sam rushed over to me, helping me get Dean up. He was about to call for Cas but when we looked around the room, he was gone.

We got dean in the back of the impala and climbed in, rushing to the nearest hospital. Sam and me were quiet the entire time, even when we got to the hospital, no one spoke. I did not even know what to say to him. I had seen Sam use his weirdo powers a million times on the TV show, but seeing it was so different. Hearing the screams, knowing it's happening right in front you, watching a body just collapse to the floor. It's different, that is the stuff that sends you to real loony bin.

When we were finally let into Deans room, I had to try not to completely break down and cry. He was heavily bandaged from head to toe, with a breathing tube shoved down his throat. Sam sat down in the chair next to his bed, and I could tell he was doing all he could to not start crying as well. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Cas who was paused in the doorway. When I looked at him, he kept walking which caused Sam and me to run out after him. "Sam—" Cas started but was interrupted by Sam's hand.

"Get in there and heal him! Miracle. Now." Sam yelled.

"I can't" I could hear the sadness in his voice.

"You and Uriel put him there because you can't keep a simple devil's trap together." Sam said getting angrier by the minute.

"I don't know what happened. That trap… It shouldn't have broken. I am sorry." Cas couldn't look at Sam anymore and I could tell he really was sorry but I knew Sam didn't care right now.

"This whole thing was pointless. You understand that? The demons are not doing the hits. Something else is killing your soldiers."

"Perhaps Alastair was lying" Cas shrugged.

"No. He wasn't" Sam yelled and walked back into the room. Cas looked like he had just been punched in the face. I was about to speak but he vanished, like he always did. I walked back in the room and told Sam I was going for a walk. All I got was a nod, so I made my way outside and started walking around the building.

It was pretty cold outside, so I was glad I decided to wear a sweatshirt. I found some picnic tables and took a seat, no one else in sight. I laid my head down the table, my arms being my cushion and just let go. After a few minutes, I felt a hand on my back and I jumped up. I turned around to see Cas standing behind me, his face still looked as though he had been slugged in the face.

"Cas… Haven't we had the conversation about you giving me heart attacks? Or do we need to go over it again?" I asked, taking a seat back on the bench. I looked around to see if anyone else was around, but from what I could see there was no one, just us. "What do you want Cas?" I asked, wiping the tears from my face.

"I'm considering disobedience." He said staring me dead in my eyes.

"Good, even though I thought you were doing that before…"

"No, it isn't good. Besides, this time is different. For the first time, I feel…" He said looking down at his feet. I sighed and stood up, putting my hands in my jacket pocket. "It will get worse. Choosing to go your own way is probably confusing and terrifying, but it will be ok," I said, placing my hand on Castiel's arm. He looked at my hand like it was an insect, so I dropped it.

"That's right, your too good for my help. I'm just trash." I said, biting my lip. I turned to start walking away but Castiel grabbed my wrist.

"Emma…" He said softly. I turned back around to look at him, and he let go of my wrist. "I don't know what to do, please tell me what to do."

"No Cas, I'm sorry. You know how this all goes. You know what you do and who you become. I cannot tell you what to do. Your fate is in your hand Cas. I'm sorry." I said, a few tears escaping.

I turned and started walking back to the hospital, wiping the tears from my eyes. When I turned back around Cas was gone. I guess this was it. He had to make his decision. I didn't understand why it was so hard for him, but I guess if you have never been able to do anything you wanted, constantly just a puppet, it would be hard to stop. A puppet wouldn't know how to walk without its strings. I just hoped that Cas was willing to try.


	8. Chapter 8

It had been couple of weeks since Dean had his run in with Alastair. He was already 100% back to himself, and we had been on the road for a while now. I got to go through my first ghost hunt, and it was interesting to say the least. Dean said I did pretty well, but I needed to learn not scream so much. Sam and me had come to an agreement, that he wouldn't drink demon blood anymore and I wouldn't tell Dean about Ruby. He talked to me whenever he got the urge to call Ruby, which made me happy cause I knew that meant he was truly trying. Cas hadn't really come around much since I last saw him at the hospital. He came to tell us when seals were broke that was about it. Every time I prayed to him, I never got an answer. Dean said he talked to him in the hospital when we were asleep and told him to leave. Which I couldn't believe, but that was his choice I guess. So far, we had done pretty well about ignoring Lilith; we couldn't break the last seal if Sam never kills her.

As of right now we were stopped by a lake, somewhere in Iowa. Dean was passed out in the front seat, Sam was sitting on the hood of the car brushing his teeth, and I was walking around taking pictures with my IPod. I loved taking pictures, I was no photographer, but I loved to capture memories. Memories we couldn't ever get back. I knew Sam and Dean never took pictures but I knew one day they would appreciate it, even though for now it just irritated them.

I took pictures of Sam brushing his teeth, laughing at him the whole time. Dean started to fidget in the front seat, and almost fell flat on his face trying to get out. He stretched before walking over to us and taking a spot next to Sam.

"Hey. How'd you sleep?" Sam asked, spitting on the ground.

"How do you think? I'm starving. Let's go get breakfast." He said giving a nasty look to Sam.

"Mmm… Pancakes sound good right about now." I laughed, Dean giving me a huge smile. "Yeah but where? We're like two hours from anything," Sam said.

"But I'm hungry now" Dean whined, causing Sam to chuckle. "There's probably a sandwich in the back seat" I shrugged. Dean turned around, rubbing a hand over his face and reached in through the open back window, pulling out a paper bag. He opened the bag and sniffed, making a weird face before leaning his head back and inhaling. "It's tuna." He said with a sour face.

A phone started to ring from inside the car. Dean tossed the bag back into the back seat and checked his pockets. Once he realized it wasn't him, he reached through the front seat window and started to rummaging through the glove compartment, pulling out the ringing phone. Dean hit his head on the roof on as he tried to get out and Sam and me started laughing. Dean shot us a look before glaring down at the phone.

"Isn't that dad's phone?" Sam asked a bit surprised. Dean flipped open the phone and held it to his ear. "Hello?... He can't come to the phone. Can I help you?... Well sorry to be the one to break this to you, pal, but John died more than two years ago… Who is this?..." Dean's face turned white and he just stared at me. "Okay well we can help you… Uh huh… We will meet there... Dean… Okay." With that he hung up, his eyes still on me.

"You okay Dean?" I asked, confused. He put the phone back in the glove box before coming to join me and Sam. "We need to get Windom, Minnesota." He said, his face still completely white

"Okay… Who was on the phone Dean?" Sam asked.

"Adam Milligan." He said looking at me. I smiled and hit his shoulder, "See I knew you'd meet him eventually. Like I said!" After talking for a few minutes, we all climbed in the impala and got on the road. "I still don't believe we have another brother." Dean said, his fists tightening around the steering wheel.

"You do Dean I promise, but there is something I should tell you before we get there…" I paused. Dean looked at me in the rear view mirror his face going blank. "Well I know something happens to him, I don't remember what, but him and his mom turn into some kind of creature."

"Some kind of creature? You got to do better than that Blondie, come on think..." Dean said his eyes back on the road. I tried to rack my brain but I couldn't remember, all I remember was that at the end of the episode they tried to kill Sam and Dean. Sam decided to look him up on the way over to Windom, to try to find out anything that might help.

We pulled up to a diner around 11 in the morning, climbing out and going to the trunk. "Dean look best I can tell, Adam Milligan is real" Sam said looking down at a piece of paper. Dean started to unlock the weapons box, not really paying attention to Sam. "Well maybe whatever it is hasn't gotten to him yet. So maybe we can still save him," I said.

Dean started to pull all kinds of things out from the trunk, including Ruby's knife. Once he got all that he wanted he closed the weapons box. "It's a trap." He said, closing the trunk and walking in to the diner. Sam shrugged at me and we followed dean into the diner. We looked around before Dean found and empty table and taking a seat as Sam sat next to him. I stood at the end of the table staring at both of them. "Oh no, no, no… I'm not sitting next to him!" I said crossing my arms.

Dean looked up at me with a smile; "Well we're older than you so… yeah you are." I stared him down. "What if he like… eats me or something?" I asked. Sam laughed pulling out his Dad's journal. "Guys I'm telling you the kid checks out." Sam said looking to me. I sighed and sat down across from dean resting my head in my hand. "Dicks." I mumbled, which only made Deans smile grow larger.

A waitress walked up setting down menus and glasses of water, pulling out her pad and smiling at us. "Hi, welcome to Cousin Oliver's. Can I—"

"We're actually waiting on somebody." Dean said his smile fading. The waitress put her pad away annoyed and walked off. Dean took this glass and poured it into the plotted plant behind him, before sticking it between his knees and pulling out a flask. "What are you… Holy water?" Sam asked. Dean just nodded and finished pouring up the glass. "One sip of Jesus juice and this evil bitch is gonna be in a world of hurt." He said setting the glass in front of Adams seat.

"And what is he isn't possessed?" I asked looking over the menu. Dean pulled out a felt wrapped package from his coat and started to undue it. "Then he is a shape shifter." He said simply, replacing the silverware the waitress brought with the pure silver ones Dean had brought in. "Hence the Silver..." Sam shook his head looking back down at the journal.

"Look, either way, this thing is gonna bleed. I mean, thinking it can toy with us? That's the last mistake of its short pitiful life." Dean said looking to Sam who started to frown. "What?" Dean asked. Sam only looked away before Dean asked again. Before Sam could speak, the door chimed and a young man walked in. Sam looked up, then to me. I turned around and looked the man over, before turning back to Sam and nodding.

"Adam?" Sam asked, causing him to look over at us. Sam waved his hand, and Adam made his way over to us. "You Dean?" Adam asked, hesitating a bit. "I'm Sam, and this is Dean." Sam said pointing to Dean. Adam turned to me, a little smile on his face, "And who are you?"

"I... uh... Emma..." I said smiling back. He set his backpack on the floor next to the empty chair before taking his seat. "So um… how did you guys know my dad?" He asked.

"We uh, worked together." Sam said. Adam looked at him confused. "How did he die?"

"On the job." Sam said looking at me and back to Adam. It was really awkward, and I hated having to sit next to him. I was never a fan of Adam. I mean I felt bad that he had to rot in hell but that did not make up for anything.

"He was a mechanic, right?" Adam asked.

"A car fell on him" Dean said, nodding. The waitress came back over and she seemed to have perked up. "Hey Adam, how you doing?" She asked setting a glass of water in front of him. Dean reached over and grabbed it before anyone else could and took a huge gulp. "I am very thirsty" Dean smiled. "The usual?" She asked turning to Adam. He just nodded and thanked her as she walked off. Adam took the glass of holy water, as we all watched carefully; he took a drink and set the glass back down. Nothing happened.

"So why did you decide to call John now?" Sam asked, leaning forward, his elbows resting on the table. Adam shrugged taking another drink. "I didn't know who else to call. He's the only family I got."

"Really I'm sorry. What happened?" I questioned, giving him a small smile. Dean rolled his is eyes at me, looking back to Adam, who didn't seem to notice. "My mom is missing." Adam answered.

"It's tragic, really. But if your Johns kid, how come we've never heard of you?" Dean blurted out. Adam once again shrugged and let out a sigh. "Cause John and me didn't really know each other. Not until a few years ago anyway."

"So when did you finally met him?" I asked, turning my head to him. "When I was twelve. My mom had one of his old numbers, and—" He paused looking at me. I started to get nervous at the look he was giving me. I kicked Dean's leg, trying not to break eye contact with Adam. Dean seemed to tense up fidgeting with something under the table. Adam looked away and continued, "And after I begged her… God, twenty four seven… She finally called him. When he heard he had a son, he raced to town. I mean, he dropped everything. He drove all night."

The waitress came back, set a plate in front of Adam, and walked away again. Adam took out his napkin without touching the silverware and set it on his lap. We all watched as he picked up the fork and knife and took a bite of his pancakes. Dean seemed to relax, leaning back in his seat some.

"Yeah I mean he was a pretty okay guy. He taught me poker and pool and even bought me my first beer when I was fifteen" He paused smiling at me again. "And uh… he showed me how to drive. Dad, he had this beautiful 'sixty seven impala—"

"Oh, this is crap. You know what, your lying!" Dean yelled

"No I'm not," Adam snapped back at him. "I'm sorry but who the hell are you to call me a liar?"

"We're John Winchester's sons, that's who." Dean said indicating him and Sam. "_We_ are his sons." Adam looked to Dean and back to Sam, then back at Dean again, before turning to look at me. "I've got brothers?" Adam asked, turning back at Dean.

"No, you don't have brothers. Look man, I don't know what kind of game you are playing here but we are out of here. Come on." Dean yelled getting up. Sam and me stood up with him and we all started to walk out before Adam grabbed my wrist, pulling me back around. "Just wait…" He said. Dean stomped over and yanked him away, pushing me back so he stood in between Adam and me. Dean looked like he was ready to punch him out when Adam raised his hands in defense, backing up a little. "Look don't go, okay. I can prove it. I can prove I'm John Winchester's son."


	9. Chapter 9

**I'm sorry this chapter is so long I couldn't really figure out how to keep it as short as I normally do.**

**Thanks for all the Favs/Follows 3 :)**

* * *

After we left the diner, we all headed over to Adams mother's house to see the proof he said he had. I tried to tell Sam and Dean that this was Adam, that I didn't believe that whatever was suppose to take him over happened yet. Sam was on my side, but Dean was still a little bit skeptical. Once we got there, Adam showed us pictures of him and his mother Kate with John. Dean seemed to be slowly coming around, but he more cared about what this creature was. Adam has told us all he knew about his mom going missing, which I had to say wasn't much. At the moment Sam and Dean were in the hallway talking about our, situation, and Adam and I were in his mom's room sitting on the bed looking at pictures.

"So are you and Dean like… a thing?" Adam asked shifting through the pictures. I still didn't like Adam but I knew I couldn't really be mean to him, and him hitting on me all the time was not helping my fist not want to meet his face.

"Uh, no why would you think that?" I laughed. He set the pictures down and turned a little so he was facing me. "He just seems to be really protective over you. Kind of jealous if you ask me." He said, cocking his head to the side.

"Oh no, no, I'm practically a little sister to them." I said trying to avoid his eyes.

"I see. So how long have you known them? Are you a mechanic too?"

"Eh… about a monthish… I guess… and no I'm not, I'm just a friend," I said shrugging. He laughed and scooted closer. "That's such a short time, you guys act like you grew up together. They seem to really care about you." He said

"Uh yeah… we just kind of clicked…" I replied uneasily. Whatever Dean and Sam were talking about it needed to end like… now. He placed his hand on my mine and I jumped up off the bed, knocking all the pictures on the floor, the glass braking. Dean ran in first, gun already in his hand. When he saw it was just the pictures he relaxed a little, his gun still drawn. "What happened?" He asked looking at me.

"I uh… I'm a klutz." I laughed, bending down to pick up the pictures. "Everything is ok, just being me" I smiled up at him, and he put his gun away. While I was picking up the pictures, I noticed something at Adams feet. Scratches. "Hey Dean…" I said, staring at the floor, he looked down and noticed them right away. "What is it?" Adam asked, looking down.

"Watch out" Dean said as Adam got up. Dean got down and looked under the bed, before letting out a frustrated sigh and getting back up. Dean tossed the pillows aside and him and Sam moved the mattress off the bed frame. Under the bed, there was a vent large enough to fit someone through. Sam and Dean exchanged a look before raising their fists for Rock Paper Scissors. Sam picked rock, and Dean picked Scissors. Sam smiled and Dean just waved his arms frustrated, putting his hands on his hips. "Every time"

Dean opened the gate setting it aside, before sliding down the vent. He was down there for about 5 minutes before he came back up. Dean gave Sam and me a look that told us both that whatever hope might have been there, it was gone now. Dean talked Adam into coming back to the motel with us so we could try to figure everything out. Dean didn't think it was safe to stay at the house for the time being.

Once we got to the motel, Dean didn't even hesitate to get out his shot gun and start cleaning it. Adam watched confused as Sam and Dean took all these weapons out, and started cleaning. I sat on the bed, taking out my iPod about to play when Adam just completely lost it. "Who the hell are you guys!" He screamed, staring at all the guns.

"Take it easy" Sam said, getting up. Adam backed away from him a little before shaking his head. "No! Don't tell me to take it easy okay? My house is a crime scene; my mom's probably dead, and you two… Well you tell me to call the cops, but you couldn't be there when they showed? Who are you really?" He looked around at each of us but no one spoke.

"You're not mechanics. I just want to know what's going on. Please." He begged, his face dropping. Sam sighed before just giving up. "We're hunters" Sam said.

"Sammy!" Dean yelled throwing down his gun. "We hunt animals. Deer and stuff. We sell it for a living. Hence the guns. And whatever took your mom, I feel like it might be a good idea to have some protection." Dean said, giving Sam a look.

"I want the truth…" Adam said looking Dean dead in his eyes. Dean sighed and shook his head, before motioning him to sit down. Dean explained everything to him. About monsters and their dad. He took it surprising well which was weird but he said he trusted them because they were family. After everyone calmed down Dean and Sam decided they were going to go check a lead they found at a cemetery, which meant I was stuck on babysitting duty.

"I got it Dean. Don't worry." I said, trying to calm him down. He was so worried about leaving me alone with Adam but I told him it would be ok. I didn't know if that was true, but I knew we had to try to save Adam, and they couldn't do that from the motel room. Sam finally got Dean to leave, which left Adam and me alone. I was going to call Cas, cause then at least I knew I would be safe but It would have been pointless since no matter how much I prayed he never come. It came to the point that I stopped asking him to come and just talked to him. I missed being able to talk to him about things but whatever happened between him and Dean I could tell wasn't good.

After putting salt at all the windows and doors, I took a seat back on the bed, looking at Adam who was sitting at the table. "So what do you want to do?" I asked, "I have and iPod, but we can't really both play on it, uh… I think Dean has cards, if you want to play like poker, or goldfish, or I guess we could watch TV."

We ended up sitting on the couch watching TV for an hour before either of us decided to break the silence. "Emma… Do you know how my dad really died?" He asked turning to me.

"A demon killed him." I answered.

"So Sam and Dean, they hunted it down? Got revenge?"

"Well, yes… Dean killed him" I nodded.

"So it's over for them then." He said looking down at the ground. I shook my head; "It's never over Adam…" I said, "Trust me… I know" The lights started to flicker, before they just went out completely and something in the room started to rattle. I got up and grabbed the gun from the table looking around the room. I opened the door and looked down the hallway but nothing was there. When I heard the rattling again I looked up and it was coming from the vents in the celling. "Come on lets go!" I yelled at Adam, and we ran out of the room.

We hurried down to the parking lot, looking around. "Where's your car?" I asked as he pointed to the other side of the parking lot. "Keys?" I started running as he tossed them over. Dean said if anything happened to go back to the diner we first met Adam at and call him. Adam headed for the passenger side of his truck, as I went to the drivers side. I started fumbling with the keys, trying to unlock the car when something grabbed my ankle and pulled me under the truck. I grabbed the side of the truck trying to pull away but whatever it was, it was strong.

Adam ran over and grabbed my hands trying to pull me out, just as the impala pulled up. "Dean help!" Adam screamed, pulling my arms harder. Dean jumped out, not even bothering to close his door and grabbed my other hand, pulling as hard as he could. I started to kick, finally whatever had my ankle let go, and Dean and Adam pulled me out. Dean grabbed the gun I dropped and started firing under the car. Sam cam around, and looked at Adam, who looked at me. I tried all I could do not to cry, and Dean saw that, so he pulled me into a tight hug.

I pulled away from dean and smiled, as he handed me my gun back, picking up the keys. He got in Adams truck and backed it out of the space. He was parked right over a sewer gate, which was half open. Dean climbed out of the truck and came over to the grate, bending down and inspecting the ground. He stood back up and walked over to where Sam and me were standing at the impala.

"I winged it. Did you see anything?" Dean asked me.

"I didn't get a good look." I said.

Dean rubbed a hand down his face, letting out a sigh. "What the hell is this thing?"

"Why… Who… Should we go after it?" Adam asked, fidgeting around.

"No, in that maze? That thing is long gone." Dean said.

Sam sighed crossing his arms, "All right, so we don't know what it is, but we do know who it's going after. Joe Barton, Adam's mom—"

"And Adam. It was under his truck, just waiting for him" I interrupted. "It set a trap and I walked right into it."

"Doesn't matter. Sam's right… there's a pattern. Joe Barton was a cop. I'm pretty sure he helped out Dad. So we've got him, Dad's girl, and his son." Dean sighed,

"Why wouldn't it come after you and Sam then?" I asked.

"It's going after all the people Dad knew in this town." Sam shrugged "Well at least we know why it's back." Dead said, standing up straight. "Yeah… Revenge." Adam said a little darkly. We all looked at him for a second before Dean decided it was time to leave town. We drove back to Adam's house so he could grab some clothes before we left. Once we got there, Adam ran upstairs and we all took a seat in the kitchen.

"We shouldn't leave." Sam said as I thumped my injured ankle down on another chair. "Oh yeah, let's stay here, where the kids mom got ganked. Good one." Dean spat.

"I'm serious." Sam muttered as he took out and Ace bandage from the bag he brought in.

"No, Sam, We're gonna take the kid, we're gonna drop him off at Bobby's, and then we three and gonna come back here and finish what Dad started." Dean yelled. Sam stopped moving, and looked up at Dean. "How? We got no leads, no witnesses. We do have what that thing wants." Sam replied, continuing to bandage my ankle.

"You want to use Adam as bait? We are supposed to be saving him Sam, not throwing him a party with Michael and Luci. If we stay and something goes wrong, the angels might get to him," I said.

"If Lucifer never rises then we won't exactly need to worry about that now will we." Sam grumbled as he finished bandaging my ankle. "Thanks Sam… and I get that but he could die. He still is your half brother." I sighed.

"We could all die Emma. Even if we do kill this thing, there are tons of other freaks that want revenge, on our Dad, on us. What if they find the kid instead and he isn't ready? All because we didn't stay." Sam leaned back in his seat. Adam walked down the stairs with his backpack over one shoulder, stopping next to me. "I'll do whatever it takes. I want to do it."

Dean stood up, waving over Sam. "Can I talk to you for a minute…" Dean asked walking to another room so we couldn't hear them. Adam took a seat in front of me, setting his book bag on the table. "How's your ankle?" He asked.

"Oh it's ok. I've had worse," I laughed. He smiled and looked down at my bandaged ankle. "So were you a hunter before you met Sam and Dean?"

"Oh no. I'm barely a hunter now. I'm more of a… a fan girl " I laughed again. I didn't really know what I was. I didn't hunt, I could barely work a gun, yet Dean never wanted to leave me behind. Sam says it's because of what I know which I don't blame him for, because I know if some people got their hands on this information, worse things could happen.

"Okay so, you guys are going to stay here, and I'm going back to the cemetery to check out some things." Dean said walking back in the room, Sam right behind him. "Wait what…?" I asked jumping out of my seat. "Don't worry, Sammy is staying. I'm going." Dean chuckled. "You baby"

"Be careful Dean…" I said, crossing my arms. "Me? You be careful. You not exactly the most graceful at… well anything." He joked nudging me a little with his shoulder. "Watch out for her, please." Dean said, patting Sam on the shoulder before walking out. Sam looked at me and shrugged and we went to work locking down the house. We salted every window and door except the vent on the floor in Kate's room.

"All right. We've closed off every other way into the house. If this thing's coming, it's coming through here." Sam said crossing his arms. We heard a creek downstairs and Sam stood facing the door, waiting for someone to come through, when we heard someone call Adam's name. He took off downstairs, not even caring. "Emma stay here!" Sam yelled and chased after Adam. Of course, if it wasn't down there than it was sure going to come through here, and I was alone. Whoopee.

5 minutes later, I leaned against the wall and closed my eyes. "Hey Cas, I know your busy ignoring me and stuff, but god I miss you. I'm so scared right now… I…" I got distracted when I heard a scream. I ran down stairs to find Sam strapped to the table, Huge gashes all up his arms, and Adam and Kate standing over him. "Sam!" I yelled taking out the gun Dean gave me. Adam and Kate turned around and smiled. "Emma! They're ghouls!" Sam shouted as Adam started walking towards me. I shot him and it hit his shoulder, slowing him down a second. "That means head shots Emma!"

"Head shots... right." I muttered, I could barely aim as it was. Adam grabbed me and slammed me into a wall, bashing my head into a mirror. I kicked him away aimed my gun and shot, missing his head by an inch. He grabbed me and threw me to the ground. I tried to punch him in the face but he grabbed my wrist and took a bite out of it. I looked around and found a metal bar that came off the mirror and reached out and grabbed it. I hit Adam as hard I could on the head which caused him to stop and fall off me. I pushed him to the ground and started beating in his head until I felt someone pull me off him. When I turned around, I noticed it was Dean, who reached out and took the bar from me.

I looked over at Sam who was now untied and sitting up with clothes over his cuts, and Kate who was on the floor, a bullet hole right in the middle of her head. I tried my best to stay calm as Dean cleaned up my wrist and wrapped it, but I couldn't help the few tears that escaped. "Hey, it's ok now." Dean said pulling me into a hug. "We didn't even save him…" I cried into his shoulder.

"He was already gone Emma. When he called us, it wasn't Adam, there was nothing we could have done." Sam said from behind me. It didn't make me feel any better though. I wanted to help. I wanted to make a difference, and so far, I wasn't doing anything. Maybe Cas was right, no matter what you do, you cannot stray from destiny…

After we cleaned up and changed, we brought Adams body out to a forest so we could give him a hunters funeral. Sam wasn't sure we should do this, but It was better than leaving his body behind. "Adam was our brother. He died like a hunter. He deserves to go out like one." Dean said as he sprinkled gas over Adam's body.

"Maybe we can bring him back. We can try to call Cas!" I said as I started crying again. Sam pulled me over, his arm around my shoulders, and I wrapped my arm behind him. "No Adam's in a better place." Dean said as he lit a match and tossed on to Adams body. It was weird, watching a body burn. Sickening to say the least. I never thought much of it when I watched the show, but it was hard. Even for only knowing Adam but a day. I turned my face into Sam's chest, I just couldn't watch anymore. I decided to walk back over to the impala and wait for them until they were done.

When I walked over, I noticed Cas was standing there, leaning against the impala. I couldn't do anything but smile as I ran to him and gave him the biggest hug. I was surprised when he actually gave me a real hug. He didn't even hesitate. "What are you doing here Cas?" I asked looking up at him. "I've prayed to you everyday…" I said resting my head on his chest. I stood there for another minute before he let go and pushed me away.

"Emma we need to talk about Sam." He murmured. I looked at him confused, taking a step back. "He is getting out of control with the Demon blood. You saw how he was with Alastair."

"No… Sam stopped. He talks to me about it now. He promised… You're lying Cas."

"Emma, I have never lied to you. While you and Dean have been sleeping, he goes out. He practices, and he must be stopped. Before I stop him," Cas said looking past me. I could not believe him. There was no way Sam was lying to me. He wanted to stop Luci from getting out as much as I did.

"Cas—" I started but Sam and Dean walked up right as I was about to speak. "Cas? Hey man what are you doing here?" Dean asked.

Cas looked at Dean and back to me, not speaking. Dean turned to me and I just looked away. I didn't want to have to tell him about Sam. "Guys… what's going on?" Dean asked again. I looked at Sam who I think realized what was going on. "I'm sorry" was all I could utter out.


	10. Chapter 10

I was sitting out side of bobby's house, looking out across the field of rusted old cars, still trying to wake up. We had gotten back to Bobby's a few days ago, and locked Sam straight in the panic room. I hated having to tell Dean, and more so, I hated ratting out Sam. He lied to me though, which was something that really hurt. It just hurt to know all those times he would talk to me, it was all crap. I should have seen it coming I suppose but I guess I wanted to believe Sam had changed.

Dean didn't take any of it too lightly. He was beyond pissed off, I'm sure Luci would have been crawling back in his cage, cause I know last night I wanted to be any where but here. I still wondered if I would ever get to go home. I missed it more than I thought I would, when I was there all I ever wanted to do was go out, do something with my life, instead of going to school, going to work. I actually wanted to hunt like Sam and Dean. I wanted to save the world like they did, I just never thought it would be like this.

Watching a TV show, you don't really know what goes on through their minds. Sure, you can guess, from dialogue and emotions, but it being real was so different. I'm not normally one to complain or whine, but this was just too hard. I'm used to sitting behind a computer, doing nothing with my life, and as good as this felt to help it also felt as if inside I was being squeezed through a worm hole.

I had to stay positive though. I was here and there was nothing I could do about it, besides Sam and Dean were starting to turn into family. It had only been a little over a month but as Bobby had put it last night, I was "turning them into big bowls of Ice cream" Which was weird but I understood. Dean seemed to worry about me at every second. Which was nice but it was also annoying. I never seen Dean as the worrywart type except with Sam, but Bobby said I was family now.

I heard the door open and close behind me, and heard footsteps stop beside me, before the person took a seat on the stair next to me. I looked over and Cas was just staring out past everything, not bothering to look at me. Dean and Cas seemed to work out everything and Cas decided to stay with us, for real this time. It made me somewhat happy to have him back; he was like my best friend. Even though I could tell it wasn't really mutual but I took it anyway. He didn't look at me like I was an insect anymore which I suppose was a start. Although I haven't gotten another hug out of him since that night.

"You really enjoy staring at me don't you?" He asked turning to look at me. Sometimes I forget I'm even doing it, but for some reason I can't ever stop. He literally looked like an angel. Even though when I last told him that, he said that 'I wasn't able to come to that conclusion considering I hadn't ever really seen and angel.'

"I'm sorry…" I said looking away, "I get lost in thought sometimes. So how is Sam doing?"

"He is the same. It will take some time for the Demon blood to completely leave his system." He answered turning his head back to the junkyard. I laid my head on his shoulder closing my eyes. "Cas… What if we can't stop him from getting out? What if all this is for nothing?" I asked.

"It's not like you to think like that Emma."

"I just… I thought this whole time Sam was turning around, but he was out there with Ruby, still learning, still on the same path. I was so excited when I first got here, but I'm starting to realize it's not as amazing as I had hoped it be, but I guess you know what they say about hope… It breeds eternal misery." I said sitting back up. Cas looked at me squinting his eyes. "It was from a TV show back in my world." I said rolling my eyes.

"Emma, I know things are hard for you, but you are changing things. Even though you might not realize it. I'm here for one thing, when I saw what happens, I don't completely leave heaven. Right now, I would be trying to get Dean on heaven's side. I would be letting out Sam and turning on my friends… and thanks to you Emma, none of that will happen now." He pointed out. I suppose he was right, even though I couldn't see it just yet. "What would I do with out you Cas?" I giggled, laying my head back down on his shoulder. "And do not answer that…" I snapped before giving him a chance. He always liked to ruin the moments I loved the most.

We sat outside for another 10 minutes before going back inside. I could still hear Sam screaming from the panic room, but I tried to ignore it best I could. Dean and Bobby were sitting at the dining table, drinking and talking. I took a seat at the table and Cas stood off to the side between Dean and me.

"I'm gonna ask one more time. Are we absolutely sure we're doing the right thing?" Bobby asked looking at me.

"Yes, he needs to detox or Sam could be lost to it. It changes him. He's had too much already, it's killing him" I said.

"No it isn't. We are." Bobby spat, taking another drink of whiskey. Dean seemed surprised by what bobby said, seeming to get a little irritated. "What?" Dean sputtered.

"I'm sorry. I can't bite my tongue any longer. We're killing him. Keeping him locked up down there. This cold turkey thing isn't working. If… If he doesn't get what he needs, soon, Sam's not gonna last much longer."

"I'm not giving him demon blood. I won't do it." Dean yelled.

"And if he dies?" Bobby challenged. "He isn't going to die!" I screamed, "Look I know he doesn't, Cas knows he doesn't… I know it's hard to see him like this but he will get better."

"She is right. It is coming time for Sam to break the final seal, which means he needs to get over this now. Not later." Cas chimed in. Dean got up and walked out of the room and down to the basement. Bobby finished his drink, before standing up. "I hope you two idgits are right about this." He set his glass on the kitchen counter and walked back into the living room. I sighed and rested my head in my hands. I really needed to get out of this funk.

I stood up and walked over to Cas, a huge smile on my face. He squinted his eyes, looking down at me confused. "Cas, Cas…" I said with a smile. "Wait right here okay!" I squealed, running upstairs to my room. I took off my pajamas, and grabbed out a sky blue backless dress and threw it on then took out some white heals and squeezed my feet in them and ran back down stairs. Cas was still in the same exact spot, just like a statue.

"Okay I'm ready" I smiled as I grabbed his hand and lead him out back. "Ready for what?" He asked as I stopped next to a rusted old truck. I let go of his hand and turned to smile at him. "We are going to go on a little field trip." I said, placing my hands on my hips.

"What are you talking about?"

"Come on Cas! I've been through so much shit this last month and so have you and I think we need a break, so I think we should go some where, have some fun. You can zap us to like New York or something. No! Lets go to Rome, or wait... Paris. Ugh this is harder than I thought" I started going on and on.

"What makes you think I would take you anywhere."

"Because you love me," I said with a big smile. He looked down at his feet and back to me not saying anything. "Come on Cas, your like my best friend, and best friends don't let other best friends sit at home bored." I laughed.

"Where you dropped on your head as a child?" He asked. I hit his arm and shook my head. "No need to be a jerk… So where should we go?"

Cas sighed and placed his hand on my shoulder and just like before a white light consumed us, and after it had dimmed down, I looked around. "Uh… Cas, where are we?" I asked kind of freaking out.

"Juneau, Alaska" He said simply. I looked around but all I could see was a cave, dripping with water. "You took us to a cave? I said fun Cas…"

He sighed and started walking into the cave. I practically had to run after him to keep up. We walked for about a minute before the cave opened up. It was amazing, like nothing I had ever seen before. The hard rock roof suddenly seemed to transform into a celling of ice. The Ice had the most beautiful wave designs in it; I wouldn't even be able to describe it. The ground slowly started to narrow, turning into waterfalls. We stopped at the farthest point we could walk, right at the edge of a cliff that looked down to a small pond. I could see the end of the cave that opened up to some kind of ocean or lake, water pouring in and down the rocks so beautifully.

"Oh my god… Cas, this is so amazing." I said breathless looking around.

"I thought you would enjoy something like this." He nodded. I sat down, letting my feet dangle of the side of the cliff. I stared off across the cave, just taking it all in. I had never seen anything so beautiful in my life. I patted the ground next to me for Cas to sit down. He took his trench coat off and placed it around me before taking a seat next to me. "Can't afford for you to get sick right now." He said not making eye contact.

"You know you can act all big and tough but I know you're really just a teddy bear in there Cas." I laughed. I hugged his arm and laid my head on his shoulder. We sat in that cave for I don't even know, hours probably. Just watching the water rush past, I talked his ear off and I could tell he wasn't to happy about it but he never complained. We talked about heaven and if he has his own house or whatever up there and how it was. He tried to explain it to me but I didn't understand much except that most of the time everyone was working, since no one slept.

I told him about how I missed some things from my world and my time, like movies that hadn't come out yet, or a TV show that hadn't aired, or even the conventions I didn't get to go to now, but I guess it didn't matter. I had the real Sam, Dean and Cas, and what more could you ask for. I told him about stupid childhood stories, and he tried to to tell me some but he claimed he never was a young angel; he never truly aged as the years went on, just learned new things as he went along.

I was in the middle of telling him about the time I got myself stuck in the dryer when he said that Dean was praying to him, and he completely pissed off. We stood up and he zapped us back to Bobby's living room, where Dean was standing, his face pure red. "Where the hell have you been!" He screamed at me, giving a nasty look to Cas.

"We just went out to have a little fun Dean, I needed to get out and not have to think about monsters for a while." I said, trying not to yell back at him.

"Well it would have been nice to get a freaking heads up! While you two were off having a little field day, Sam got out. Don't know how." Dean yelled again, waving his arms around.

"Sam escaped?" Cas asked, a confused look on his face. Dean just nodded, to pissed to even speak. "Dean I'm sorry—" I started, but he just held up a hand.

"You know what no, Emma. Just go change, we need to go follow a lead we have on him" Dean said. "Pack a bag while you're at it."

I took off Cas's trench coat, handing it back to him before going up stairs and changing into a pair of jeans and a pink blouse. I grabbed a few things, throwing them in my duffel bag and taking a seat on the bed. How did this happen. Cas was supposed to be the one who let Sam out, but he was with me the whole time so it shouldn't have ever happened. There just had to be a way to stop Sam, I wasn't so sure what but I wasn't about to give up. I picked up the duffel back and made my way down stairs where Dean was waiting. We walked out to the impala throwing our stuff in the back. I climbed in the back seat, Cas took shotgun, and Dean got behind the wheel starting her up. I guess this was it, Luci was coming home.


	11. Chapter 11

**So I wanted to ask how you guys felt about the length of the chapters. **

**Do you think I should keep them short ****or make them longer? **

**Thanks again for all the Favs/Follows 3 :) **

* * *

Dean said it would take us a little under 5 hours to get to Jamestown, North Dakota, which is where Bobby had tracked his stolen car. Cas apologized to Dean about a hundreds times for us leaving, blaming himself for Sam getting out. Dean still believed Ruby was the one that set him free but there was no way to know for sure. I just wondered what happened to Sam, what would make him drink the Demon blood, especially when he knows what is at stake. I had fallen asleep on the drive to Jamestown, waking up in a motel.

I sat up looking around, and from what I could tell, I was alone. I got up and stretched, looking around for my cell phone when I heard the sound of wings and turned around. "How did you sleep?" Cas asked, standing next to the bed.

"Uh, fine… Where are we? Where's Dean?"

"Dean went to the police station to see if he could track down the car Sam stole, and we are in Jamestown." He said.

"Awesome… well I'm gonna take a shower, so don't go anywhere." I yawned, walking over to the bathroom. He nodded and took a seat on the edge of bed, staring off at the wall. I never understood how that didn't completely bore him to death. I closed the door and got in the shower, letting the water run over me. Sadly, the hot water only lasted 10 minutes, so I took a short shower. I wrapped my self in a towel before walking out and going over to my duffel bag that was beside the bed. Cas was still sitting on the edge of the bed, except now his eyes were on me.

I grabbed out a white baby doll dress and went back in the bathroom to change. When I walked out again Dean was back and in a bad mood. "Well I lost Sam, so I have absolutely no idea where to look now." Dean yelled taking a seat on the couch. He looked at me and shook his head. "Blondie, you're a hunter now, and hunters don't wear dresses." He pointed out.

"Well this hunter does. Who says you cant kill things and look good while doing it?" I giggled, towel drying my hair. He let out a laugh and laid his head back looking at the celling. "Well, what now?" He asked his eyes still on the celling.

"I say, I go dry my hair and we go get some food before we starve"

Dean looked at me and nodded, running his hand across his face. He was killing himself over this and it was heart breaking. I walked back in the bathroom, cracking the door, took out the hair dryer, and started on my hair. After about 10 minutes I had my hair styled like I wanted and walked out to the motel room, only I wasn't in the motel room anymore.

I was in a large room with white walls and gold trim accents. I looked around the room, a large marble table sat in the middle of the room, and past that was a set of doors. I knew this room, and I hated this room. When I turned around the bathroom I had been in was gone, the only doors were the ones on the other side of the room.

I was completely terrified, but I knew I had to stay calm. I couldn't make any rash decisions that might make those doors disappear. If they were removed, so was my way out. I heard wings and turned around to find Zachariah standing in front of the doors, a huge smile on his face.

"Emma, it is so nice to finally meet you." He said a smug smile on his face.

"Where are Dean and Cas?"

"Well as you know Castiel has recently made some bad choices… so he is in a time out. As for Dean he is safe, in a room much like yours." He nodded, not breaking his smile. "Sit…" He pointed to two chairs that had appeared on either side of the table. I took a seat and he followed, folding his hands on the table. "So Emma, I've only been able to get a little here and there about you, but why don't you tell me about yourself. Why are you traveling with the Winchesters?"

"Just trying to help stop little ole Luci from paying a visit. Just a fellow hunter." I said.

"Is that so… See cause from what I could tell, you aren't much of a hunter at all, no, in fact your not even from here. I know you know things Emma. You know who I am and what is going on. Which is why I need your help."

"My help… You need my help?" I laughed, "Screw you Zachariah."

He nodded and stood up walking over to me and placing a hand on my shoulder. He zapped us to dark room, with no windows or doors, it was faintly lit and in the middle Cas was strung up in chains, blood running down his face. I ran over to him, tears streaming down my face. "Cas… What have you done to him!" I yelled, tugging at the chains.

"It's no use Emma, you won't be able to break those. No one can except for me." He said walking over to where Cas and I were. I wrapped my arms around his neck crying, not even bothering to hold it back. "Emma, we haven't even begun to torture Castiel, we have a lot more, and a lot worse left in us. We make Hell look like child's play. Now you can make a choice, you can help me and I will spare Castiel the worst of it, or you can sit here and watch." Zachariah stated, his smile completely gone.

I picked up my head and looked at Cas who shook his head the best he could. "Don't Emma." He muttered. How could I not though. I had to come up with something; I couldn't let them do this. I sighed and turned to Zachariah, wiping away the tears. "How did you even find out about me?" I asked looking at him.

"Castiel of course. He was obedient at one time, until you and those Winchesters came along."

I turned to look at Cas who just looked at the ground guiltily. It wasn't his fault I suppose, but I still wanted to kick him where the sun didn't shine. I still had to save him though, he was changing, he decided to come with us, and I couldn't just leave him behind. "If I help you, you promise he will be okay?"

"Well, he is going to die either way, but it's up to you if it's quick or painful"

Zachariah walked over to me and zapped us back to the room I was in before. I took a seat and stared at the wall like some how it was going to magically give me answers. I was trying to think of what I could do, what Dean would do, when finally it hit me. "Can I see Dean?" I asked looking over at Zachariah.

"That is ill advised." He stated, his tone getting more annoyed. "Well can I write him a letter than? I just want to write him a letter, and then I will go with you and do whatever you want me to." I said

He let out an irritated sigh, and a piece of paper and a pen appeared on the table. I started writing before looking up at Zachariah putting the pen back down. "Could I maybe have some privacy? This is a very… intimate letter." I uttered, raising an eyebrow at him.

"Fine, I will be back in 5 minutes so make it quick." He said before vanishing. I waited a few seconds before I got up and grabbed the pen. I didn't have much time so I had to think fast. I held the pen over my palm taking in a deep breath. My hands were shaking but I had to try to concentrate, I had maybe 4 minutes left. I stabbed the pen into my palm and made a cut. I was surprised at how easy that was but it still hurt like hell.

I started to draw the angel banishing sigil on the wall as fast as I could. Once I drew the circle and the triangle on top, I hurried to draw the weird squiggle line that was in the middle. I had just finished the last symbol when I heard the sound of wings behind me.

"What are you—" He started to say but I put my hand on the sigil and the room filled with a white light and he was gone. I ran for the doors opening them and running out to an empty warehouse. When I looked around there were two small shacks like the one I had been in, sitting at other sides of the warehouse. I ran to the closest one and threw open the doors. Dean was inside beating on the walls with his fists, screaming as loud as possible. "Dean!" I yelled causing him to turn and look at me. He stared wide-eyed at my dress, walking over to me.

"Emma what happen are you ok?" He asked grabbing my hand. I snatched it away nodding my head.

"I'm fine, Dean. I banished Zachariah but we need to get Cas and get out of here quick before he comes back." I rushed. He nodded and we ran over to the only shack left and pulled open the doors. Cas was still strung up in chains, a few more cuts all over his body. We ran over and tried to pull the chains off but it was no use. "St Mary's" Cas whispered as I kept trying to break the chains.

"What?" Dean asked bending down in front of him. "St Mary's that is where Lilith plans to break the final seal. You need to go. Stop Sam before it is too late." Cas muttered in a low voice.

"We aren't leaving you behind Cas." He said pulling out his gun and shooting the chains, but it did absolutely nothing.

"Cas is right Dean, you need to go. Go find him and I'll get Cas out of here and we will meet up with you." I said standing up.

"No! Are you insane I'm not leaving you here!" Dean yelled his face turning red. "Dean listen I will be fine ok, if they come back they wont hurt me, they want me for something. You need to go and stop Sam before Lucifer gets out of that cage, and we will all be worse off than worrying about a few douche angels." I blurted out. He stared at me for a minute before nodding. Dean gave me a hug and ran out of the warehouse.

I turned to Cas and sighed looking at the chains. "Cas how do I get you out of here?"

"I need you to trust me Emma." He said his face completely serious, "I need you to banish me, like you did Zachariah."

"What no!"

"Emma, it is the only way for me to get out here. You need to banish me and run, once I'm out I will be able to heal myself and I will come and find you. I know this is a lot to ask but it is the only way." He croaked. I guess I didn't have much of a choice, I ran over to the room I was kept in, grabbed the pen, and ran back to Cas.

I reopened the gash in my hand and drew the sigil on the wall as fast as I could. I placed my hand on the sigil and in a second Cas was gone. I wiped my hand off on my dress and took off running out of the warehouse. I had no idea where I was, no way to call Dean, no way to do anything. When I got outside, I started running, not bothering to look back. I followed the road for an hour before I came to a small town called Ashland. I kept walking until I found a diner, relieved I walked in and took a seat at the bar.

There was only one couple in there besides me, who took a seat in the back of the diner and couldn't seem to take their eyes off me. A man walked over to me from behind the bar, a surprised look on his face. "Hey miss you alright?" He asked, placing a glass of water down in front of me. I nodded and drank the entire glass in less than 30 seconds. "What happened?" He asked nodding at my hand and dress that was now more red than white.

"Accident" I said, not making eye contact. "You wouldn't happen to have a phone I could use do you?"

"In the back, follow me" He said. I got up and followed him to the back room where an old pay phone sat between the bathrooms. He gave me some changed and looked down at my bare feet before walking back out to the main dining area. I completely forgot I wasn't even wearing shoes, adrenaline rush I guess. I rolled my eyes and put the coins in dialing Bobby's number. Luckily Sam had made me memorize everyone's number incase of emergencies.

It only took a few rings for Bobby to pick up. "Bobby's it's Emma…"

"Emma! What the hell happened to you guys I've been calling for days!" He yelled. I didn't know why he had been calling for days it had only been 9 hours tops. "Uh… well the angels took us, Dean is on his way to stop Sam, at some St. Mary's church." I said. I was in the middle of telling him about everything, when I heard wings behind me, and I froze. I took a deep sigh before turning around slowly. I relaxed one I noticed it was just Cas, letting out another sigh. "Bobby, I'll call you back." I said slamming the phone down. I turned to Cas a small smile on my face as he lifted two fingers to my head.

I felt like I had just crawled out of an ice bath but that feeling went away after a few seconds. I looked down at my hand and the gash was gone, as if it had never been there. I looked at my dress but sadly, that was still stained with blood. "We need to hurry," Cas said looking down at me, "Sam is minutes away from breaking the seal" He placed his hand on my shoulder and zapped us away.


	12. Chapter 12

When I looked up, Cas and I were standing in a hallway lined with statues of rusted angels. Cas didn't waste anytime making his way to the back of the church, which turned into a long hallway with two huge doors at the end of it. Dean was banging on the doors yelling at Sam, using anything he could to open them. Cas and I ran over to him, Cas moving dean out of the way, he lifted his hand, and the doors flew open.

Dean drew his knife, walked up behind Ruby, and stabbed her in the back. A light flickered inside her before she collapsed. Dean ran over to Sam who was passed out on the ground. After a few shakes he got up, looking around. "Oh no… Dean… I'm sorry" Sam said clutching on to Dean's shirt.

The blood pouring out of Lilith's body finished filling the pattern on the floor. A white light shot up from the ground and church began to rattle. "We need to get out here!" Dean yelled over the noise. We all got together and Cas zapped us away, taking us to a field right near the Church. We watched the white light beam into the sky for another minute before finally dying down.

"Dean—" Sam started but Dean held up his hand to stop him. "Don't say anything… it's okay. We just got to keep our heads down and hash this out, all right?" Dean said rubbing the back of his neck. Sam nodded and Dean continued, "All right, well, first things first… What happens now?." He asked turning to me.

"Well, now you guys do everything to stop him. Eventually you get the rings of the four horsemen, and use it to open the cage you throw him back in." I said.

"Okay well, lets head back to the hotel and get working on these horsemen then." Dean stated, turning to Cas, who zapped us back to the motel room we had been staying in at Jamestown. "Dean… can I talk to you for a moment?" Sam asked, Dean nodded and followed Sam outside. Cas walked over to me and placed his fingers on my forehead once more and I got the pleasure of feeling as if I had crawled out of ice. "What was that for?" I asked.

"Your feet were cut up."

I looked down at my bare feet, wiggling my toes. I forgot I had no shoes. I looked up at Cas with a smile and thanked him. He nodded and I walked over to my duffel bag pulling out a pair of shorts and a T-shirt. I went to the bathroom and changed, staring at myself in the mirror. I had to try to keep myself from breaking down, but it was hard. In the last month I killed a man, well monster, I almost got killed a million times, I watched Lucifer break out of his cage, and I had to deal with angels, which lucky for me I even managed to remember the banishing sigil. In one month I had gone through more than most people ever would. Well more than anyone would, from my world anyway. It took a toll on you, and it made me wonder how Sam and Dean went through all this, how they managed to stay tough.

A few minutes later, I came out of the bathroom and Sam and Dean had come back in the room. I threw my dress in a pocket of my duffel bag and took a seat next to Cas who sat at the edge of the bed.

"Okay so Emma, these rings, from the horsemen, how do we get them?" Sam asked looking away from his computer to me.

"Well, you have to cut the rings off of their fingers, since none of them are nice enough to just give them to you. Except Death, but he's awesome so…" I shrugged scooting back on the bed and crossing my legs.

"You do just realized you called Death awesome correct?" Dean looked at me as if I had suddenly gotten the plague or something. I just laughed and nodded my head.

"Yes, but he really awesome, he gives you the ring cause he hates Luci as much as the next person, and then later on down the road he helps you save Sam. I mean he has a soft spot for you Dean… He loves you… deep down… although you wont ever be more important than food."

Dean and Sam just stared at me like I was insane, but I guess to them that would sound a little weird, but half the things the Supernatural fandom said were kind of fucked up like that. No one outside the fandom ever got it unless they watched Supernatural. Considering Sam and Dean are the fandom, I knew it would be even more weird and annoying for them.

"Well… I guess in the end it's good that he has a soft spot for you Dean. It can come in handy." Sam let out a little laugh, "So the other horsemen, how do we find them?"

"I have no clue" I shrugged, "You and Bobby did research and found them, you went and cut their rings off and bam, over and done with."

"You make it sound like it is a piece of cake." Dean spat.

"Okay well compared to Abadouche, and Metatron, Luci is a piece cake…" I stated. "If the cake has a nuclear bomb in the middle, but a piece of cake non the less."

"You just get weirder and weirder," Dean shook his head, "Okay so how about we deal with one thing at a time. Bobby is on his way, he's picking up the impala and he—"

"Wait!" I yelled, there was something about this that was important, but I had to remember what. I racked my brain to pin point this exact moment but I couldn't remember.

"What? Emma what's wrong?" Dean said coming to the side of the bed. I looked up at Cas, who was still sitting on the edge of the bed, but turned looking at me. "Cas… you have to remember, you saw everything." I begged.

"I think what she is referring to is Bobby. He is possessed by a demon." Cas said, squinting his eyes at me.

"Yes! That's it, and he ends up getting put in a wheel chair! We have to save him," I said looking at Dean.

"Okay, uh… Damn it! All right, when he gets here, we will be ready. Lay down some devil traps and get that son of a bitch out of Bobby." Dean yelled getting up. Sam looked like he was about to go crazy but he got up nonetheless and helped Dean draw a devil's trap on the roof. Now all there was to do was wait. "And you are one hundred percent positive about this?" Dean asked taking a seat at the table. "Better safe than sorry" I nodded.

An hour later, there was a knock on the door. Dean hesitated before opening the door to Bobby.

"Hey Bobby" Dean said, giving him a hug. Sam stood up and gave Bobby a hug as well, smiling. I had to say they were good at pretending. Bobby nodded to Cas and me who we sitting on the bed. Dean closed the door after bobby walked in a little more. "You weren't followed were you?" Dean asked.

"You mean by angels or—" Bobby stopped talking and looked up at the devil's trap on the celling. Dean and Sam didn't take anytime to start reciting the exorcism spell. Bobby thrashed as Sam and Dean performed the spell. A huge pillar of black smoke came out of Bobby's mouth and disappeared under the door and Bobby collapsed. Dean and Sam rushed over to Bobby, helping him to his feet.

"You can let go now Emma." Cas said looking down. I hadn't even noticed I grabbed his hand. I let go and bit my lip. "I… I'm sorry I didn't even realize." He gave me a faint smile and looked away, and just to clarify, when I say faint I mean like you would need the Hubble Telescope to see it, but I managed to catch it.

When I jumped back into the conversation, Bobby was sitting down at the table with Dean. "Well damn. How did you guys know I was possessed?" Bobby asked.

"Emma and Cas, Emma remembered something bad was suppose to happen to you and well Cas filled in the blanks." Sam said.

"Well guys… I guess I owe you one" Bobby laughed, "Really thank you"

I just smiled at him and nodded. "Okay well, now that this is out of the way I say we head back before more of those asshole catch up with us." Dean said getting up.

"Where are we going to go?" I asked.

"Back to Bobby's I suppose, try to research these horsemen. Figure a way to gank Lucifer without sending Sammy down with him." Dean shrugged. Everyone packed up their stuff and climbed in the impala, except Cas who zapped away. When we got back to Bobby's it was past 10 at night so we all decided to head off to bed for the night. I ran up to the room I had been staying in and laid down on the bed. I don't think I had ever been so happy. I guess it was mostly because this was the closest thing I had to a home right now.

I got dressed for bed and laid down, getting all snuggly under the covers. I clasped my hands together and closed my eyes, letting out a sigh. I was about to speak when the sound of wings filled my room. I opened one eye and saw Cas standing next to my bed.

"You know you don't need to pray to me every night." He said, glaring down at me. I just smiled and sat up.

"I know I don't need to, but I like to." I shrugged, "Why? Does it annoy you?"

"Yes."

"Well all the more reason for me to do it." I joked. I patted the bed in front of me and he took a seat on the edge of the bed. "So why are you here Cas, your not gonna be all creepy and spy on my while I sleep are you?" I laughed, giving him a smile.

"War is coming." He said staring at the wall. I raised my eyebrow and crossed my legs sitting up a little more. "Uh, well duh Cas… Luci just joined the party, and I don't think he's gonna be the ugly kid just sitting in the corner."

He turned and looked at me, his face full of annoyance. "The horseman Emma."

"Oh… Oh!… right sorry… I knew that, I was just testing you. Making sure you knew…" I trailed off looking at wall. "Of course I knew Emma, that's a ridiculous statement. I am the one that came to tell you." He said squinting his eyes. I couldn't help but laugh because I knew he was completely serious.

"It was a joke Cas… anyway… why are you telling me and not Dean?" I asked.

"Well I came to listen to your prayer. Then you made it awkward. So I changed the subject" He said not making eye contact with me. "How did I make it awkward? Your such a weirdo Cas." I laughed nudging him. I laid back down and got cozy and warm, Cas still sitting on the edge of my bed. "Cas…" I said as he turned to look at me, "Thank you for every thing, that you have done for me, and for Sam, Dean, Bobby, everyone."

He nodded and stood up. I grabbed his hand before he could zap away. "So, are you still with us? Or are you going back to heaven?"

He turned around and looked at me still holding my hand. "I'm staying." He said, looking down at our hands. "Why do you care?" He asked, his eyes moving back to mine.

"You are my best friend Cas, whether you want to be or not," I smiled up at him. "I don't think that is very fair." He scoffed. I laughed and tried to pull my hand away but Cas tightened his grip for a second before letting go. "You okay Cas?"

"I am fine. You should get some rest, you've had a very tough few days." He said.

I nodded and closed my eyes, drifting off to sleep. I may have gotten an hour of sleep before I felt hands shaking me violently. I opened my eyes, breathing heavily Dean standing over me. I looked around the room and Sam, Bobby, and Cas were standing behind him, guns in their hands.. "What's going on?" I asked looking from person to person.

"You were damn well about to scream our ears off Emma." Bobby said shaking his head.

"You must have had a nightmare or something, you were screaming bloody murder in here." Dean said relaxing a little bit. He set the gun on the table next to my bed and knelt down. He looked back at everyone, nodding to the door for them to leave. Sam and Bobby walked out but Cas stayed, giving a Dean a look that told him he wasn't leaving.

"Are you ok?" Dean asked turning back to me.

"Yeah, I'm fine, sorry I scared you guys." I nodded. Dean gave me a smile and told me to try to get back to sleep. He grabbed his gun and walked out. Cas walked over to the bed and sat down on the edge where he had before, staring at the wall. "What were you dreaming about?" He asked not looking at me.

"Beach... I was at Beach, with you, Sam and Dean. Then it started to rain, and you guys disappeared and suddenly I was in a house and someone was chasing me. I ran but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get out. Then Zachariah appeared, and he kept telling me I was going to help him whether I liked it or not. Then he started torturing me, until Dean woke me up."

He didn't say anything, didn't move, didn't do anything but sit there and stared at the wall. After a second, he turned to look at me, a guilty look on his face. "Emma… I am sorry. I should have never told Zachariah about you."

"It's okay Cas"

"No it isn't. Because of me now you are no longer safe." He muttered getting up.

"No Cas. I'm fine, and I will be fine. I don't care that you told that jerk. All that matters is you don't make the same mistakes as you did." I said pointing to my head, "Just don't be _that _Cas."

He turned around to face me, grabbing my hand. "I will redeem myself to you Emma. I _will_ keep you safe." He said looking me dead in the eyes. I sighed and squeezed his hand. "If I didn't know any better I'd say you liked holding my hand." I smiled. His face didn't change and he stood still, not breaking eye contact with me. I had to remember he wasn't one for jokes. "How about you start by staying with me." I said, "Don't leave me alone... Please." I begged. I snuggled back into bed, getting comfortable. He sat on the edge of the bed, still holding my hand as I drifted off to sleep.


	13. Chapter 13

When I woke up the next morning, I was alone. Cas must of left sometime after I fell asleep. I got up and stretched, I felt like I just woke up from the dead, my whole body stiff. I made my way downstairs, surprised at how quiet and still the house was. I called out for everyone but no one answered. I walked around every inch of Bobby's house and found no one. So I walked back upstairs and tried to call Dean, but it went straight to voice mail, Sam as well. I was starting to freak out, when Bobby's phone did the same thing. What could have happened that everyone would be gone and unable to answer their phones.

I hurriedly got dressed, throwing on white shorts and pink loose tank top, slipping on some sandals, and walking down stairs. I stopped in the living room letting out a sigh before I closed my eyes. "Cas… Answer me please. I know you can hear me. I don't think you can just tune out prayers. Okay well maybe you can but uh Cas… Stop being a douche… I'm really scared." I prayed, but nothing. I sat down on the couch and just couldn't help but cry. What was I suppose to do now? I didn't know anyone else, I didn't know what to do now. I had to think. Maybe I could go and try to find them, but even if I managed to get one of the cars out back working, where would I start? What if they came back while I was gone?

I sighed; wiping away the tears, crying wasn't going to get anything done. I got up and went over to the million phones Bobby had set up in the kitchen. I started going through the papers, maybe there would be a phone number, someone I could call. When I heard the sound of wings behind me, a huge smile flashed across my face. However, it faded once I turned around and noticed it wasn't Cas. A tall man, maybe in his late 30's was standing in front of me. From what I could remember, he wasn't an important angel, at least not in the show. He was dressed in a suit and tie, looking like he had just come from some sort of business meeting.

"Who are you?" I asked, backing up. He didn't say anything just started walking towards me. I ran out the back door, towards the barn that was behind the junkyard. I was almost there when the man appeared in front of me, blocking my way. "You need to come with me, so you can make this easy or hard." He said glaring at me.

"I'm not going anywhere with you, so take your stupid little wings and shove them up your ass!"

He just smiled at me and reached out his hand to me. I closed my eyes, waiting to be zapped away when I heard a rustling and a thump. When I opened my eyes, the angel was on the ground, dead, Cas standing over him. "What the hell Cas! Where have you been! I've been praying for you! Where is everyone?" I yelled at him as he put his angel blade away.

"We need to leave." Was all he said as he walked past me back into the house. I rolled my eyes and ran after him. "Cas, answer my questions." I yelled again, but he just ignored me walking upstairs to my room, and started to grab all of my stuff and throw it in my duffel bags. "Hey, excuse me! Cas… tell me what's going on right now, or I swear—"

"You swear what?" He turned to look at me, his voice full of anger. "Stop being difficult Emma, I don't want to have to knock you out."

"Difficult? I'm not being difficult, I woke up to an empty house. No one will answer their phones, you wouldn't answer prayers, then some psychopath angel shows up and then—" I was cut off my Cas placing his hand over my heart and a sharp pain came from inside me. It felt like I was being stabbed with a million knifes. It only lasted a second but it hurt worse than anything I'd ever felt.

"No angel can find you now." He said grabbing my duffel bags and slinging them over his shoulder. He walked over to me, placed his hand on my shoulder, and zapped us to a motel room. He set my things down next the bed and turned to me. "Now I will answer your questions."

"Finally? Okay so where are we?" I asked crossing my arms

"Outside of River pass, Colorado."

"Right... And why are we here?"

"Sam and Dean have located War. They are in the process of getting his ring as we speak. They said to meet here." He stated, his face showing no emotion.

"Why didn't they wake me up! Why did they go by themselves?" I yelled

"I convinced them to leave you behind."

"Excuse me? Why? That is not your decision to make Cas," I said turning my back to him. I closed my eyes and trying not to cry. Cas walked over and turned me around to face him. "Emma, I needed you to be safe. Going with Sam and Dean, it would have been to dangerous."

I bit back tears, just starting at him; his face was gentle now, not so hard. I could understand where we was coming from but I didn't want to be left behind. "Bobby?" I asked looking down at my feet.

"He went with them, to help out. A few other friends are there with them as well. They will be fine."

I just nodded and walked past him to the bed, taking a seat. "The angel?" I asked looking up at him. He didn't say anything, he just walked over taking a seat next to me. "I'm sorry Emma." He muttered out after a few minutes of silence.

I nodded, taking a deep sigh and laid down on the bed, staring up at the celling. "So how long until Sam and Dean are gonna be back?"

"A few days at the least." Cas said

I sat up on my elbows looking over at Cas. "So what are we going to do for a few days?" I asked with a huge smile on my face. I started to think of crazy things, like going to Paris, or the Bahamas, but how could I go out and have fun when Sam and Dean were risking their lives to save the world.

"What's bothering you?" He asked a confused look on his face. I sat up completely, crisscrossing my legs, sitting next to him. "Nothing, so I think we should order a pizza, I'm starving." I said getting up. I walked over to nightstand and pulled out a few menus, shifting through them until I found a pizza parlor. I picked up the phone and ordered a large cheese pizza, extra cheese. When I hung up, I walked over to Deans bag and started looking for money, when I found the wad I pulled out a 20 and set it on nightstand next to Cas.

I looked over at the clock, it was already 5 p.m. I guess time flies when you're freaking out all day. I walked over to the couch and sat down, turning on the TV. I flipped through the channels until I passed Harry Potter playing and I nearly lost my voice squealing so much. "Cas come here! You have to watch this with me. Harry Potter, one of the greatest movies ever!" I squealed. He got up and came to sit next to me on the couch, giving me a weird look the whole time. Watching the movie with him was kind of funny, but annoying. He asked questions at every second.

When I heard a knock at the door, I jumped up so fast I thought I was going to trip over my own feet. I was so hungry it wasn't even funny. I ended up eating half the pizza to myself, and putting the rest in the mini fridge in our tiny little kitchen. When I was done, cleaning up I joined Cas back on the couch, cuddling up next to him. He looked down at me annoyed but I just gave him a smile. "You are very touchy. You should really speak to Dean about personal space." He said, glaring down at me.

I couldn't help but laugh, "Oh Cas, just shut up and watch the movie." I said smiling up at him, before turning my eyes back to the TV screen. He let out an annoyed sigh before giving up and watching the rest of the movie with me. Surprisingly he didn't have anymore questions, which I was kind of happy about, it is hard to watch a movie when someone keeps talking.

When the movie ended, I sat up and Cas seemed to relax once I wasn't cuddling him anymore. "So how did you like Harry Potter?" I asked getting a jacket out of my duffel bag and throwing it on.

"It was interesting. Though I'm still very confused." He said a confused look on his face, "Where do you think your going?"

"Uh, I don't know. A walk? I'm not tired, and I'm bored" I shrugged heading for the door, Cas cut my off, standing in my way. "I don't believe it is very wise to be walking around out in the open" He advised, I rolled my eyes and tried to walk past him but he gabbed my shoulder pushing me back. "Cas… Move. I thought no angel could find me."

"They can't but that doesn't mean they don't have eyes out there every where."

I sighed and turned around taking a seat on the bed, "Well Cas I can't be locked up here until Sam and Dean come back. I'm going to go crazy. Like, Voldemort crazy."

"That's very improbable." He said, still blocking the door as if I was going to try to make a run for it. "Cas… Please, I don't think that a few hours will do much harm. Besides, I have a big bad angel with me to keep me safe," I begged, frowning at him. He sighed and walked over to me, placing a hand on my shoulder and zapping us away. When I looked around all I could do was stare. "Where are we Cas?"

"Vaadhoo. I believe humans refer to this place as the Sea of Stars."

It was amazing. We were standing on a beach, and the waves were glowing with little blue spots, just the night sky. The sand would have little stars left behind once the water receded again, but it was like nothing I'd ever seen. I couldn't describe it's beauty if I tried.

"Why are you crying?" He asked confused. I laughed and shook my head, "It's just so beautiful." I said shrugging. "I'm a crier Cas, you should know this by now. My tear ducts have a mind of their own." I laughed. I started to walk along the beach, letting my hand run under the water, when I pulled it back up, little glowing dots covered my hand. I walked along the beach Cas following me, not speaking. "You know, I have to say you do know where the most beautiful places are." I laughed turning to him.

"I've watched humanity for many years. I've learned a few things." He nodded. I smiled and gave him a hug looking up at him, "Thank you Cas"

"For what?" He asked staring down at me. He seemed a little irritated that I was always giving him hugs but I think he was starting to get used to it. I got up on my tippy toes and kissed his cheek, he turned to look at me, a surprised look on his face. "For taking me here. I don't think you understand how truly amazing and—" I was cut off my Cas brushing his lips against mine gently, and it didn't take me to long to get right into it. He stopped after a few second pulling away, his hands on my shoulders. "What… What was that for?" I asked choking on my words.

"Is that not how humans express mutual feeling?" He asked confused.

I laughed and nodded, "It is but…" I looked away from him, I couldn't meet his eyes.

"But what?"

"You saw what's suppose to happen, you're suppose to fall in love with Dean not me, and I have waited years for you two to admit your feelings, because god it's so obvious, and this… I don't know" I shrugged still not making eye contact.

"I will admit that from what I have seen that Dean and I do seem to share some sort of bond somewhere down the line, but… that was before you Emma. It takes years for Dean and I to reach that level, through many events that wont even happen now, thanks to you." He said with a smile, "You have changed things Emma, more than you realize. Many things told have not come to pass, which means the timeline in which you saw no longer exists, and either does Dean and I's bond. It won't ever happen now."

"What! I screwed up Destiel? Uh no I've waited years for this." I said shaking my head.

"Is the feeling not mutual Emma?" He asked, his face going soft. I looked up at him with a smile nodding my head, "It is Cas, I promise it is, It just, like I don't know how to explain it." I shrugged, "Why do you like me anyway? I thought angels don't have feelings. I mean as you said it took you years to start to love Dean."

"They don't, but with you, it's different. I can't explain it. Something inside of me changes when I'm with you, I start to… to feel. Which is incredible within it's self. I'm not sure how, or why, but… I have feelings for you Emma."

I couldn't do anything but smile, "I thought I annoyed you?" I asked giggling.

"You still do, very much, and scare me a little, but it doesn't change anything." He said, a small smile on his face. I gave him another hug and he wrapped his arms around me, hugging me back. "We should probably getting heading back." He advised, looking down at me. I took one last look around at the beach, and nodded. He placed his hand on my shoulder and zapped us back to the motel.


	14. Chapter 14

When we returned to the motel, I hurriedly got dressed for bed. I was still in a bit of a daze from what happen at the beach. It was surprising Cas had feelings for me. I never expected it, sure I kind of showed affections toward him but I never thought of it that way. It made me happy though, and completely out of my mind to think, I had a thing with Castiel. An angel and me. I came out of the bathroom the biggest smile on my face; Cas was sitting on the edge of the bed staring at the wall. "Don't you ever get bored just staring at a wall?" I asked putting my clothes in my duffel bag and taking a seat next to him.

"You should get some rest." He glared over at me. I laughed and looked up him, raising my eyebrows, "Yeah and what if I'm not tired? We haven't even done anything today, it's not like I'm that worn out." I shrugged.

"Then what do you suggest we do? I don't think it is wise to leave again." He said turning to me. I moved my hand behind his neck and pulled his face down to mine. I had to say for an angel who had never kissed anyone before he was pretty good. After a few minutes, I pulled away, taking a breath. "I have to say, I do quite enjoy that." He said, looking down at me.

"I promise you're not the only one," I smiled up at him resting my head on his shoulder. "So how do you think Sam and Dean are doing?"

"They are doing fine, I believe they should be able to get War's ring by tomorrow, if everything happens as it did when you seen it."

"But I don't think Bobby went with them when they found War. Bobby was supposed to be put in a wheel chair." I uttered.

He nodded looking back at the wall. "Yes, that is true, but with the extra help and what I have told them about what happened before, they should be able to get it quick"

Well that was good; I missed Sam and Dean even though it had only been a few days. It was weird not hearing them bicker every 20 seconds. I let out a yawn before getting up and going on the other side of the bed, getting under the covers. Cas stood up and turned around facing me, "Sleep well Emma." He nodded turning of the light. He sure did not waste any time trying to get me to go to bed.

"Cas?" I asked staring at the celling. "Yes?" He answered from somewhere I the room.

"Will you be here when I wake up? Or are you planning on disappearing again, because I would like to be ready this time." I mumbled, closing my eyes. I was afraid he was going to say he was going to leave again. "No Emma, I will be here all night." He replied, and I relaxed a little. I turned on my side facing the wall and drifted off to sleep.

* * *

**_{Dream}_**

_Cas and me were sitting on a bench at the beach; just watching the waves crash against the shore. Two little girls, sisters, were building a sand castle right in front of us. They looked up and smiled at Cas and ran up to him. "Wanna help us?" One of the little girls asked, grabbing his hand. He looked over at me a bit scared and all I could do was laugh. He got up and went over to their sand castle helping them out. He was so adorable with kids, just like Misha. Although I'd never seen a kid cuter than West. _

_I just watched Cas play with the children, helping build their sand castle, a huge smile on my face. "Cute aren't they?" A voice said from beside me, when I turned to look, Zachariah was sitting next to me. I tried to move but I couldn't get up. "Now Emma, don't fuss, I just want to talk." He said giving me his cheesy smile. _

"_I don't care, go to hell Zachariah." I yelled looking at Cas. I tried to focus on him and ignore Zachariah, but once I stopped answering him, he made Cas disappear. "Emma, we can do this the hard way again if you want. We were getting places with you. Now I can't exactly pin point you since Castiel decided to scribble all over your insides, but that doesn't mean I can't find you." He said. _

"_What do you want with me?" I asked feeling sick to my stomach. "I just want to work together Emma. Be a team. I want you to simply… share what you know. You are making this much more difficult than it needs to be." He answered. _

"_Fine, you want to know what I know? I know that you are one of the biggest dicks ever created by God. Right under Dick Roman and Metatron. I would even love to talk to Lucifer before I talked to you. So how about you make with your stupid smile and your balding hair and leave me alone? Kay?" _

_His smile disappeared and his face turned hard. I looked around and we weren't at the beach anymore, but back in the house I was in when I first had him in my nightmare. My heart started racing and I couldn't breathe. "This is MY dream you can't do this!" I yelled at him. _

"_Oh I assure you I can, and I will. I will come to you in your dreams, every night, until you give me what I need." He said grabbing my wrist and dragging me into a room. I tried to pull away but it was as if I wasn't in control of my body. He tied me to a chair and started to torture me. Asking me questions about what I knew, what was going to happen, where I was. Every time I refused to answer him, he would do something different. First, he made me blind, then slowly started to cut me up. He practically ripped me apart I wasn't even sure how I was alive, but I guess it was dream_

_It never seemed to stop, and no matter how much I begged it never got better. I almost cracked a few times but I knew I couldn't give him what he wanted. If I did, my new family would die and I wasn't ready for that. Suddenly everything started to disappear. Slowly then faster and faster until I was in complete darkness. _

* * *

"Emma" I heard a voice say. I flung open my eyes, clutching on to whoever was standing over me. Once I focused my eyes, I saw Cas, a worried look over his face. I couldn't help but break down crying in his arms. He sat on the bed and pulled me over so I was laying with him, my head on his chest. "It's okay Emma. It was just a dream." He kept saying, holding me tighter.

I cried for a good hour before I started to calm down. I pulled away from him wiping my tears away. "What was the nightmare?" He asked, studying my face. "Zachariah." Was all I could mutter out before I started crying again. I finally calmed down after another hour, and I just laid there, my head still resting on his chest. I looked past him to the clock, 6:30 a.m. I got about 4 hours of sleep, I guess it was something. Cas was still holding me when my phone started to ring. I had to practically fight my way out of his arms to reach my phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey blondie, how you doing?" Dean asked through the phone.

"Dean! How are you! Did you get War's ring?" I rushed, a huge smile on my face. "Yes yes. We got the ring, were on our way to the motel now. Are you there?" He laughed.

"Yeah we are here"

"Okay good, well you and Cassie be ready, we are going out for breakfast. I need some greasy food." He laughed "Okay, see you soon" I said before hanging up, "Dean's on his way, we are going out to breakfast." I smiled turning to Cas who was now standing next to the bed. I walked over to grab some clothes out my bag, but Cas caught my arm before I could reach out and pulled me to him, placing his lips on mine.

A few minutes later, I pushed him away with a smile. "If I didn't know better, I'd think you were human." I laughed, picking up my duffel bag and setting it on the bed. "I told you. I very much enjoy that." He said, staring at me. I just smiled at him shaking my head. I pulled out a light purple strapless dress and went to the bathroom to change.

I came back out a few minutes later, and started to put on my white heels just as Sam and Dean walked through the door. I shoved my heels on and practically ran over to Dean knocking him down with hug. "Geez, you would think you missed me or something," He laughed giving me a hug. I just smiled at him and ran to Sam who walked in behind him, giving him a hug as well. "Hey Emma." He said, giving me a huge hug.

"You guys missed it! Harry Potter was on TV." I laughed shaking my head, still giving Sam a hug.

"Don't worry, I'm sure it will come on again." He laughed as he took a seat at the table with Dean. "Did you get the ring?" Cas asked walking over to Dean. Dean reached into his pocket and pulled out a gold ring, handing it out to Cas. "It wasn't easy but we got that son of a bitch." He said with a smirk. Cas examined it before handing it back to Dean.

"So what did you two do the few days we were gone?" Sam asked

"Well I pretty much slept the first day, and the second day not much," I shrugged, "Though I did make him watch Harry Potter with me" I said with a smile. Dean just laughed and shook his head, "You poor bastard. So how about we go get some breakfast, I'm starving."

I nodded and we all headed out and got in the impala. Cas seemed a little scared, hunched over against the window. "You okay Cas?" I laughed

"This is very confining." He said glaring at me, anger in his voice. Sam and I just laughed, I guess he was used to just zapping everywhere. Dean pulled into a tiny diner about 10 minutes away from the motel. We all climbed out and found our way to a booth in the back of the diner.

The waitress didn't even hesitate to come over and take our orders, giving each of us a glass of water before walking away. "Okay so now that we have War's ring now what?" I asked taking a sip of water.

"Well, I guess wait until the next horseman shows up," Sam shrugged, "I guess we just go back to normal hunting until then."

"Sounds good to me, as long as I actually get to join this time." I pointed out, eyeing both Sam and Dean who exchanged looks. "Well that wasn't just us blondie. Talk to Cas over here." Dean said with a smile.

"Oh I did, but as long as you know." I said squinting my eyes at them. The waitress brought our food over and Dean and me dove into our pancakes with out even a second thought. "Hey guys, I get you're probably hungry but it's okay to breathe." Sam laughed slowly eating his eggs.

"So are we staying in the motel or heading back to Bobby's?" I asked, devouring my bacon. "Well since were just going to head back out, might as well stay in the motel" Sam shrugged.

"Okay but I'm sleeping with you tonight, Dean kicked me last time."

Sam laughed and nodded, Dean giving me a dirty look. "I kicked you because your knee was going in places that it shouldn't, and I didn't feel like accidently getting nailed in the nads." He croaked out, him mouth full of food.

"Oh I promise that's not what I was thinking" I joked with him, winking at him. He smiled and nodded his head letting out a laugh, "You keep dreaming Emma."

"Oh I do, trust me. I love you, I will always love you, and if one day you just happen to want to make out or anything, just know I'm here." I laughed. Sam nearly spit his food out from laughing so hard and Dean just gave me wink, a huge smile on his face. I could feel Cas glaring at me, his eyes probably could have burnt a hole right through my skull, I looked over and smiled at him, giving him a nudge. "Hey Cas, you aren't jealous are you, I can share Dean, don't worry." I joked, his face still hard.

He just glared at me and looked away. I really needed to work with him on this whole joke thing. "So I guess off to find our next adventure." Dean sighed pulling out some money and tossing it on the table. We all got up and made our way back to the impala. Once we all got in, I grabbed Cas's hand and gave him a smile. He seemed to relax a little and we headed back to the motel.


	15. Chapter 15

Once we got back to the motel, Sam didn't waste anytime trying to find us a case. Dean and I were watching TV, and Cas was standing around like the new kid in school. "So I was thinking," Dean started, "You said that this guy, Crowley or whatever, had the colt right?"

"Yeah, he eventually comes to you and gives it to you guys, hoping you will use it to kill Luci, but none of you knew that it wouldn't do any good." I nodded.

"Well, maybe we should still get it. I mean sure it won't work against Lucifer but that don't mean it wont come in handy." He shrugged, looking over at Sam.

"It couldn't hurt I guess, maybe we can even turn it around in our favor. We know the colt won't work but he doesn't" Sam chimed in. Cas seemed fidgety, looking around the room like he wanted to be anywhere but here. "What do you think Cas?" I asked, giving him a weird look.

"I suppose I can track him down." He stated, still not making eye contact. Dean got up, rustled through his duffel bag, and pulled out a cell phone, handing it to Cas. "So you can keep in touch." Dean said with a smile. It kind of made me sad to think I would never get to experience destiel but at the same time, I didn't care anymore.

Cas nodded, placing the phone is his pocket and vanishing. "So what? Should we just sit back until we hear from him?" Sam asked, closing his laptop. Dean nodded pulling a beer from the fridge and taking his seat back at the couch.

An hour passed before Dean's phone started to ring. "Hey… Going down? Right. Okay, huggy bear, just don't lose him." He said before hanging up.

"What happen?" Sam asked looking over at dean.

"He's got him, somewhere in Montana so we need to get tracking, it's about a 12 hour drive." Dean said while he started packing up his stuff. Great I was so ready to be locked in the car for 12 hours.

The drive for the most part wasn't too bad, I listened to my iPod and played stupid car games with Sam, after we had dinner I passed out in the back seat for the remaining 5 hours of the trip. When I woke up, Sam was carrying me up the stairs to what I assume was the motel we would be staying in, Dean walking in front of us. "You can wake me up when you get here you do know that right?" I said looking up at Sam.

"I know, but your, Just. So. Cute." He joked, letting out a laugh. I rolled my eyes and he set me down, so I could walk the rest of the way. "So what are we doing?" I asked as we walked in to the motel and Dean set all of our things down.

"Well we drove past the mansion that Cas traced Crowley back to, it's guarded, but we thought of a little something to get us in…" Dean cautiously taking a seat on the bed.

"Okay what is it?" I asked

"We need you to get us in, distract the demons…"

"Sounds easy enough." I smiled. Dean seemed to relax and nodded his head. "Good, well you're already dressed up, so one thing down. Are you ready now, or do need a few minutes?" Dean asked getting back up.

"I'm ready."

Dean nodded and we all headed back to the impala. Dean explained exactly what he wanted me to do, going over it again and again, until we pulled up to a beautiful mansion. He parked a few houses away and we all got out. "Okay, we are right behind you." Sam said giving me a little smile. I nodded and walked over to the gate and pressed the button to the intercom. "Hello?" A man said.

"Hello. My car broke down. I… I need some help." I muttered my heart racing. "I'll be down in a minute." The voice hissed. That man did not sound too happy. The gate doors swung open and two men walked over to me. "Evening, pretty lady. Get yourself on in here," One of the men said with a smile. These guys were creepers, that's for sure.

"I just need to make a phone call." I said, a small smile on my face.

"You don't need to call anyone, baby," The man said glancing back at his partner, "We're the only help you're ever gonna need."

"You know what? I think I should wait by my car." I said as calm as I could with out freaking out. I turned to walk away but the man grabbed my shoulder and his eyes went black. "We said, get your ass in here." The man yelled. I shook his hand from shoulder and sucker punched him in the face. Just then, Sam ran up and stabbed the second guy with Ruby's knife, then proceeded to stab the guy I punched.

"Nice work, Emma." Dean said with a smile. He pulled out some wire cutters from a bag and his smile got even larger, "Shall we?" Dean walked around and cut the electricity before meeting back up with Sam and me who were standing in one of the living rooms in the lavish mansion. Just as Dean found his way back, Crowley walked through the doors, and I ran.

"So. The hardy boys finally found me. Took you long enough." He said a smile on his face. Sam was holding Ruby's knife and Dean a shotgun. Dean gave me a gun and told me to wait in the hallway, in case anything happened, but I still looked over to peak and watch what happened. Crowley started to walk towards them and stopped just shy of his rug. He picked up the corner and looked underneath, where Sam and I had drawn a devils trap.

"Do you have any idea how much this rug cost?" He hissed. Just then, two men came up behind Sam and Dean, disarming them and pinning their arms. Crowley now holding up the colt. "This is it right? This is what it's all about." He said, raising his eyebrows. I suddenly felt hands around me, grabbing my wrists and pulling them behind my back. I tried to get free, but the man was too strong. He walked me out beside Sam and Dean, throwing my gun on top of theirs. Dean's face turned from calm to pissed in two seconds.

"Oh you didn't think you could really pull a fast on me now did you boys? You really have a lot to learn." He smirked. He aimed the gun at me and I closed my eyes, waiting for the gunshot. "Stop!" I heard dean yell as Crowley fired the shot, then two more. When I opened my eyes, the demons that were holding us were dead, Sam and Dean exchanged looks before looking back to Crowley. "We need to talk. Privately." Crowley muttered and started to walk to another room.

We all followed him, Dean getting more pissed off. "What the hell is this?" Dean asked, his tone just shy of yelling. Crowley waved his hand and the doors behind us closed. "I want you to take this thing to Lucifer and empty it into his face." Crowley said, his face completely serious. Sam and Dean exchanged a look before Dean cleared his throat turning back to Crowley. "Uh huh, okay, and why exactly would you want the devil dead?"

"Its called," Crowley started, as he set the gun down, "Survival. Well, I forgot you two at best are functioning morons—"

"You're a functioning… moron…" Dean spat out, his face looking hurt. I had to everything I could not to giggle. "Lucifer isn't a demon, remember? He's an angel. An angel famous for this hatred of humankind. To him, you're just filthy bags of pus. If that's the way he feels about you, what can he think of us?" Crowley shrugged.

"But he created you." Sam pointed out a little confused.

"To him, we're just servants. Cannon fodder. If Lucifer manages to exterminate humankind, we're next. So help me huh? Let's all go back to simpler, better times, back to when we could all follow our natures. I'm in sales, dammit! So what do you say if I give you this thing, and you go kill the devil." Crowley held out the colt, but no one took it. Sam and dean glanced at each other and Crowley started to get impatient, wiggling the gun. Sam hesitantly took the gun. "Great" Sam uttered out.

"You wouldn't happen to know where the devil is, by chance, would you?" Sam asked glancing over at dean who nodded. "Thursday, birdies tell me, there's an appointment in Carthage, Missouri." Crowley said. Sam nodded and put the barrel between Crowley's eyes and pulled the trigger. The only thing that happened was a click. Sam drew his hand back surprised, and Crowley just stared at Sam completely unfazed.

"Oh, yeah, right, you'll probably need some more ammunition." Crowley said as he walked over to the desk behind him.

"Oh, uh, excuse me for asking, but aren't you kind of signing your own death warrant? I mean, what happens to you if we go up against the devil and lose?" Dean asked warily.

"Number one, he's going to wipe us all out anyway. Two, after you leave here, I go on an extended vacation to all points nowhere. And three, how about you don't miss okay! Morons!" He yelled, tossing a small box at Dean. He looked down and opened it, finding bullets for the colt inside. When we all looked back up Crowley was gone. "Well isn't he just peachy." Dean said stuffing the box in this jacket

"You okay Emma?" Sam asked, handing the colt to dean. "Oh yeah I'm fine, I was just trying not to completely fan girl because I most likely would have gotten killed." I laughed. Dean and Sam gave me a weird look, before looking at each other.

"First you think Death is awesome, now your in love with the soon to be king of hell. Emma, we need to work on your priorities." Dean said as he led the way back to the impala. "Hey, Crowley is the funniest guy on the show. He's awesome, and from my perspective of him, you know not being real, I think I have the right to love him." I said. Dean just shook his head, laughed as we all got back into the impala, and headed back to the motel.

"So we'll stay here for the night, head back to Bobby's in the morning." Dean said as we walked in to the room. "Maybe we should call Ellen and Jo, We're gonna need all the help we can—"

"No!" I yelled cutting Sam off. He gave me a surprised look, taken back. "Emma, what—"

"Ellen and Jo die… in Carthage. They can't come, we have to find another way… The colt isn't going to work anyway so why are we even going to go?" I said cutting Dean off this time.

"They… They die?" Sam asked, barely able to speak.

"Yeah, They expect you to come, it's where he's suppose to raise Death I think, or maybe another horseman. However, Jo ends up being torn up by a hellhound to save you Dean because you were about to die. You guys hold up in a mini mart, and Jo can't move, cant do anything, so she makes a bomb and stays behind and blows up all the hell hounds, so you guys can get a shot at the devil. Just at the time, none of you knew that the colt wouldn't work. So Ellen and Jo stay behind, and Dean you never forgave yourself for what happen. I mean Jo was already dead before the building blew up, but I can't see that again. I love Jo. So, they cannot come. I think it's stupid to even go. Cas won't be able to help, he's cut of from heaven, and its just suicide."

Dean and Sam exchanged a look and Sam looked like he was trying not to cry. Dean got up, grabbed his jacket, and stomped out of the room. I started to go after him but Sam gabbed my arm, before I got to far. "Just let him go, he needs to be alone." Sam said, his voice low. I sighed and sat down at the tabled with Sam.

"Ok so, I agree we definitely shouldn't go. But what else is there to kill the devil?"

"Well an angel blade would probably kill him, since he is an angel." I shrugged. Sam nodded and called Cas, telling him to meet us at our motel. It took him two second after Sam hung up to appear next to the table. "What is it?" He asked, his face hard.

"Well, we were just thinking, we know the colt won't work, but… an angel blade might." Sam explained, Cas not seeming fazed. "Yes it would, but we would never even get close enough to try." Cas said glaring at Sam.

"Well, that's not true. When the final fight happens Dean is close enough." I pointed out.

"Yes, maybe but that was before. Since Sam will not be saying yes than that might not happen, and if Sam does say yes, he will just end up killing his brother." Cas said not making eye contact with me.

"Well we need to figure something out. Maybe we can find a way to get close to him. Maybe I can do it, since he won't hurt me." Sam suggested.

"Sam, that's dangerous, besides how would we go about this?" I asked, crossing my arms. Sam sighed and thought for a minute, "Well, maybe I could go tell him I'm ready to give myself to him, and someone can come out and distract him, and I'll kill him."

"It could work. If we get the details just right." Cas nodded, "Except first we will need to get an angel blade."

"Why can't we use yours?" I asked confused.

"Because you need the blade of an archangel to kill another archangel. And since Raphael and Michael are the only ones I don't believe that will possible."

"I thought Gabriel was an archangel." I questioned. Cas turned to me confused, "Yes, but no one has seen him for years. We wouldn't be able to find him even if we wanted to." Cas stated.

"Uh Cas… Yes we can? You read my thoughts remember."

He didn't say anything he just looked away. "Cas…" Sam gave him a look. Cas sighed and took a seat on the bed. "I have been meaning to speak with you all about this, but I had to erase those memories. I used the little angelic power I had left."

"What? Why?" I yelled.

"Zachariah, he was trying to get to me, and that would have been too dangerous. Now if he gets to me it won't matter." He said still not making eye contact. Great, I didn't remember every detail but he could easily shift through everything I knew, what now. "Okay, well that's no problem, Emma still remembers everything. It's fine." Sam said trying to keep everyone from getting down, "Okay so how do we find Gabriel?" He asked turning to me.

"Uh… The trickster is Gabriel, and I know for a fact he will help us. At first in the show from what I remember, he didn't want to help but he eventually came around, and he dies for you guys. He's actually the one that tells you how to use the four rings in order to lock Luci back up."

"Wow, the trickster? Okay well at least we know where to start." Sam perked up a bit. He tried to call Dean several times but he would not pick up. After a while we stopped waiting up for him and just went to bed. Sam decided we would all talk about it in the morning, and Cas decided to stay through the night. I wanted to talk to Cas about everything but I knew now wasn't the time. When I laid down, I was surprised at how worn out I really was. I turned on my side, closed my eyes and passed out.


	16. Chapter 16

The next morning, I was surprisingly the first one up. Sam was passed out next to me and Dean sprawled out across the other bed. He must have come back late last night sometime. I looked around the motel room and Cas was nowhere in sight. I got up slowly making sure not to wake Sam. I went over to my duffel back and grabbed out a pair of shorts and blouse, and made my way to the bathroom and I took a quick shower, since the hot water never lasted long in any of these motels.

When I got out, I was in the process of drying off when Cas suddenly appeared in the bathroom. It took everything I had not to scream, grabbing the towel and covering myself. "Cas what the fudge monkeys!" I yelled. "We need to talk." He said staring me dead in my eyes. I couldn't believe him right now.

"Okay Cas, I agree with you, but maybe a time when I'm not completely naked?" I blurted out. He rolled his eyes and gave me an annoyed look. "Emma, stop being difficult. There is not another chance I will get to speak to you."

"Oh my god, what is so urgent that it can't wait until I have clothes on?" I asked, raising my eyebrows. He walked over to me and pulled me to him, resting his lips on mine. A few minutes later, we broke, and he just looked into my eyes. "Turn around and face the wall." I sighed. He hesitated but did as he was told and started to get dressed.

"Okay so speak." I said pulling my pants on. "I'm sorry that I had to erase my memories, it was only to protect everyone." He muttered, staring at the wall. I sighed throwing on my blouse, "Cas, I don't care that you had to erase your memories. It's really not a big deal." I said, grabbing his arm turning him around, "Why does it matter if you remember?"

"Because now I don't know what happens, what I do. How will I know what to avoid. I don't want to make the same mistakes again." His face looked completely torn. I smiled up at him and grabbed his hand in mine. "Do you trust me?" I asked, he only nodded at me, unable to speak, "Then trust me when I say I won't let you do those things again. As long as I remember I will be here to make sure you don't follow that path. I will make sure you stay pure. Just trust me."

He pulled me into him, wrapping his arms around me, giving me a hug. He held me for a few minutes, before letting me go. "I will always trust you." He said a faint smile on his face. I got up on my tippy toes and kissed his cheek, smiling back at him. I picked up my pajamas and walked back out in the room, quietly as I could. Dean was up, and Sam was still asleep in the bed. "Morning" Dean mumbled as he walked past me and took a seat at the table.

I threw my clothes in my duffel bag, went, and sat with Dean at the table. "Are you okay?" I asked a small smile on my face. "Yeah I'm good. Slight hangover but nothing I can't handle." He nodded, leaning back.

"I'm sorry about last night, I—"

"Don't. I'm glad you said something, if we would have went in blind like that, you're right, I probably wouldn't have ever forgiven myself." He cut me off. I may have saved them but that didn't make me feel any better about having to tell him. "Well last night while you were out, we kind of came up with a plan. We still need to work on the details but it's a start."

"Really? I hope it's better than throwing Sammy in that cage." He sighed, running his hand down his face.

"Well, in a nutshell, we were thinking Sam could go out to Luci and tell him he was willing to be his vessel, then someone would come out and try to attack Lucifer and while his attention is drawn on someone else, Sam would be able to stab him with an angel blade. He wouldn't ever see it coming."

"That's not that bad of an idea. Better than anything we got." He nodded, looking over at Sam.

"The only thing is… is that we need to get an archangel blade." I finished, his eyes glaring back over to me. "What?" He asked, a little thrown off. "Well Cas said that an archangel, like Lucifer, can only be killed with an archangel blade." I shrugged.

"How the hell are we supposed to go up and get one? Ask and pray like hell they don't just smite us?" He scoffed, shaking his head. "No, Gabriel is going to give us his." I said, "Gabriel is the trickster, and eventually he gets on your guys side. He's the one that ends up telling you how the rings will open the cage."

"Wow. Seriously. Well that's great, just another dick angel." He shook his head. He got up, went over to Sam, and kicked his feet, waking him up. Sam freaked and grabbed the gun under his pillow and aimed it at Dean. "Dean what the hell!" He yelled, laying his gun down on the dresser.

"Wakey wakey. We need to get to Bobby's, Emma caught me up on our plan, but we need to work it all out. So get your ass out of bed." Dean smirked going over and grabbing his duffel bag. Cas appeared next to me, causing me to scream and jump out of my chair. Sam grabbed his gun back and aimed at Cas. Sam let out a sigh, putting his gun back down.

"A little jumpy today there Sam." Dean laughed. Sam just gave him a bitch smile and sat up. I glared over at Cas, who just gave me a smile, as if he meant to scare me. I shook my head at him and put some shoes on and helped Dean load the car. Everyone made their way down to the impala and we all piled in. Dean said it would take another 12 hours to get to Bobby's, which meant another full day in the car. I managed to keep myself entertained though, playing games with Cas that he couldn't grasp the concepts of.

When we pulled up at Bobby's it was probably well past 2 a.m but no one was even close to tired. Dean had called Bobby on the way and clued him on everything. When we walked in Ellen and Jo were already there, sitting down with Bobby, drinking. They both stood up as we came into the room and gave Sam and Dean hugs, Ellen walked over to me as me as Jo finished her hugs. "Hey sweetie, I'm Ellen, you must be Emma." She said giving me a hug, "I've heard a lot about you." She said with a smile.

Jo came over and stopped in front of me, a smirk on her face. "Hey, I'm Jo, but I guess you already know that huh." She laughed, "I just want to say up front thanks for not letting me get killed."

I just nodded, I couldn't even speak. Jo was one of my favorite characters; I was so devastated when they decided to kill her off. I always wanted her and Dean to get together, but once she died, I settled for Castiel. "You don't talk much do you?" Jo laughed giving me a weird look. "Oh no, no, she does, she's just having a fan girl moment. Give her a second to cool down." Dean said wrapping his arm around my shoulders.

"Hey well at least I know she likes me." Jo said cockily. Dean just waved his hand and shook his head, "Sorry sweatheart, I'm her favorite." He said smirking at her. Ellen grabbed my hand and pulled me away from Dean and Jo, just shaking her head at them, "Leave the poor girl alone. Come on sweetie, were gonna go see how much little ole Cas can take over here." She said leading me to the dining room table. I took a seat next to Cas, who had five shot glasses set in front of him.

"All right big boy." Ellen said nodding to the shot glasses. Cas easily drank all five shot glasses and stared at Ellen for a second. "I think I'm starting to feel something." He muttered. Jo grinned at him and took a seat next to her mother. Sam and Dean came in joining us, followed by Bobby.

"Okay so, what's the plan for tomorrow?" Bobby asked taking a sip from his beer. Ellen started to pour five more shots and set them in front of Cas. "Well since we know the colt isn't going to work, ain't no use in going, getting everyone killed. So were gonna start looking for Gabriel, trying to get him to give over his blade, and in the mean time, come up with a fool proof way to kill the devil" Dean said. Cas picked up the shot glasses and drank them as if they were nothing. Setting the each back down again.

"Man, I can't wait to see you drunk." Ellen laughed pouring more shots. "This is the devil we are taking about, it's always going to be some kind of trap. With him, Crowley, it won't matter" Sam said.

"Sam Winchester, having trust issues with a demon. Well, better late than never." Dean laughed.

"Thank you for your continued support." Sam snickered.

"Your welcome." Dean said as they clicked bottles. We all sat around the table joking and laughing. I eventually stopped being shy and started to talk a little as well. Once it got around 4 a.m everyone was mostly drunk and ready for bed. Ellen had managed to get Cas drunk, and he could barely walk. I helped him to my room where I laid him down on the bed and he just watched every move I made.

I changed for bed, not even caring what he saw at the moment and climbed into bed next to him. "Do you know how absolutely beautiful you are?" He said slurring his words. I laughed and shook my head, "Oh Cas shut up." I laughed and cuddled up to him, resting my head on his chest. "So do you think we can really beat Lucifer without sending Sam to hell?" I asked looking up at him.

"I believe we can." He said staring at the celling, then moving his eyes to mine. "You know, you've changed so much since I met you a few months ago." I said, a smile on my face.

"So have you." He muttered, wrapping his arms around me. "How have I changed?" I asked sitting up on one elbow. "Your not as happy as you used to be" He explained, "You're a lot more quiet, and to yourself. You have also stopped crying so much."

I guess I hadn't realized that I was slowly becoming someone else. Tougher, more reserved. But it was weird to be myself sometimes, when people are dying, and you constantly have to not get yourself killed. "I guess your right." I shrugged, looking down. His other hand came over and lifted my chin so I would look at him. "Emma, it's not a bad thing to change, besides you are still as annoying as the first time I met you. So I know it's still you." He let out a small laugh, dropping his hand.

"You know I kind of like drunk Cas. You're very… human."

"I practically am human," He said looking at the celling, "Since I have joined you guys, I've been cut out from heaven." He said, his face calm.

"It's more than that, it's the way you act. You act human." I pointed out. He looked over at me, his face weary. "That's your fault. These feelings I have, they are changing my very being."

"You say that like it's a bad thing." I frowned, resting my head back down on his chest. His hand started to rub my back up and down sending shivers down my spine. "No, it's not a bad thing. I actually like these… feelings. It just took me to long to realize everything from your timeline."

I just stared at the wall, while he rubbed my back. I couldn't exactly know if what he said was all true. He was drunk, and sure he was still coherent but I wasn't sure if he could get as screwed over as most people when they get drunk. I just let it go and closed my eyes. I was just about asleep when Cas's voice woke me up. "Emma?"

"Yes?" I asked keeping my eyes shut. "You know I would do anything for you, don't you?" He said, his voice gentle. I wasn't really sure where he was trying to go with this but I was too tired to try to find out. I just nodded my head and he continued to run his hand up and down my back until I fell asleep.


	17. Chapter 17

**Sorry this Chapter got a little long but I didn't feel right spitting it up. I hope you all are still enjoying. Thanks for the Favs/Follows :)**

* * *

I was walking down stairs the next morning, trying not to trip as I made my way to the living room. Ellen and Bobby were at his desk, and Sam was at the kitchen table, on his laptop. I said good morning to everyone and took a seat next to Sam. "Hey whatcha looking at." I asked being nosey. "Might have a case. I thought we could just take it easy while we figure out a way to find the other horsemen, and Gabriel." Sam shrugged giving me a smile.

"Sounds fun, so what is it?" I asked getting up and grabbing a drink. "Well, a bunch of people are eating each other… to death." Sam started to say, I nearly choked on water as he said it. "What?" Sam asked looking at me weird.

"That is a horseman! Uh… Pestilence? No that's the sick guy... Famine! Yeah it's Famine." I nodded taking another drink. Sam stared at me as if I was crazy as I took a seat next to him. "You are positive? Famine?" Sam said, "I'll go get Dean, we should get going then!" He got up and went out back, leaving me by myself. Sometimes I hated that the second we got to Bobby's we always had to turn around and leave again. I don't know how they did it because this was killing me.

Sam came back through the back door followed by Dean and Cas. Dean told me to go get ready so we could leave, he didn't want to waste anytime. So I made my way back to my room and got dressed for the day. I hadn't unpacked anything this time because I knew it would be pointless. I grabbed up my bags, threw them over my shoulder, and went to walk back downstairs, except when I opened the door I wasn't at Bobby's anymore. I looked around; I was in some sort of hotel room, a nice one.

I turned around to leave but the door I had just come through was gone. I was confused until I started to realize… Zachariah. I turned around again and he was standing in the middle of the room a huge smile on his face. "Good morning Emma, how are you?"

"Oh my god, why can't you leave me alone. Why do you care if I know things? So what, none of it is happening the way it has in my head so just go away. I'm not that important." I yelled setting my bags down. "Oh Emma, you just cant see the big picture. It's not so much of us knowing as it is you shouldn't know. You're disrupting the natural order of things here, and we need to bring it to an end." He said, shrugging.

"You want to erase my memories."

"Extract would be a better word. We still need your help, so you will simply give us your memories, and you can be on your merry way." He stated, his smile still plastered all over his face. There was no way I was going to give him my memories. "You don't really get a choice in the matter so no use in trying to worry." He said as we walked over and put two fingers to my head, and everything went black.

* * *

When I woke up, I was so confused. I looked around and noticed I was in a hospital room. 3 guys were sitting in the room with me, 2 were passed out in chairs and 1 was just staring out the window. I sat up a little and the man by the window rushed over to me. "Emma, are you okay? You do you need anything?" He said looking me up and down.

"Uh… no I'm okay. Who are you exactly?" I asked as nicely as I could. I had to admit I was kind of freaked out. "You don't… you don't remember me?" He asked, his face dropping. One of the other men started to wake up and, once he noticed I was awake, he jumped out of his chair and made his way over. "Oh god blondie I'm so glad you're okay," He said giving me a hug. He looked at me weird after I wouldn't hug him back.

"She doesn't know who we are Dean." The first man said. The second man, who I now knew was named Dean, looked down at me, his face broken. He nodded turning his back to me, grabbing his jacket and walked out of the room.

"What is your name?" I asked the first man looking up at him.

"My name is Castiel." He said looking down at me. I looked over at the other man, who was some how still sleeping, "Interesting name… And him?" I asked.

"His name is Sam... Do you truly not remember us?" Castiel asked as I looked back up at him. "I don't I'm sorry. We were friends I assume."

"More like family." He said looking away. I reached out and grabbed his hand smiling, almost as if it was natural. "Well, if we were family I'm sure that it will come back to me soon enough." It was weird I felt so confortable around this man I just met, like something at the back of my mind was pushing me towards him.

"It's strange, even without all your memories, you're still the same Emma." He said squeezing my hand. I laughed and let go, sitting up a little bit more. "Well isn't that a good thing?" I asked shrugging, "So… how did we meet? Where is my real family?"

"I think it would be best to let Dean explain all that to you." He said looking to the door. Sam started to wake up slowly; he stretched and walked over to us, a small smile on his face. "Before you start, I don't know you so don't like, freak out or whatever." I said holding my hand up at him. Sam glanced over at Cas who nodded.

"I'm just glad you're okay Emma." Sam said pulling up a chair next to my bed. "Where's Dean?" Sam asked looking the Cas.

"He left. He was quite upset after Emma did not remember him." Cas muttered. Sam sat back letting out a sigh. "I'm sorry I don't remember you guys, I didn't mean to upset him." I explained looking down at the blanket.

"No Emma don't be sorry, it's not your fault. You're just like a little sister to Dean, I mean you are to me too but you and Dean were much closer. It's just a little hard for him." Sam sighed, "I'll go find him." With that, he got up and walked out of the room, leaving just Cas and me.

"So were we like brother and sister too? He didn't really mention you." I asked.

"No. We… it's complicated." He sighed taking a seat. I nodded, "So what happened to me? Why can't I remember anything?"

"An angel erased your memories I'm assuming." He said. "Right… an angel…" I laughed rolling my eyes. He squinted his eyes at me his face emotionless, "Do you not believe in angels?" He asked coldly.

"I mean, yeah but angels don't exactly come to Earth and all that crap, and they are suppose to be good. Angels don't just erase peoples memories, and that's if they even exist." I shrugged.

"Well then you have a lot to learn blondie." Dean said from the doorway, "Can you give us a sec Cas?"

Cas nodded and headed out of room, Dean closing the door behind him. He walked to the chair next to my bed and took a seat. "Well, I know you don't really remember any of us but I just talked to nurse and you're all clear to get released, so I want you to come with us." He said getting right to chase.

"Uh… No offense, but I don't really know you guys…" I uttered. Dean just smiled at me and shook his head; "Well I was hoping for the easy way but I'm not in the mood to screw around," He paused taking out his gun, "You really need to come with us."

"Wow. Straight to gun, aren't you just scary. Who are you really, because if I was like a sister to you, I don't think you would pull a gun on me."

"We are a very weird family." He said as Sam walked in the room. Sam noticed the gun and his face twisted with surprise. "Dean! What are you doing?" He yelled closing the door quickly. "Getting her to come with us. Like you asked." Dean shrugged, throwing me my clothes.

"By holding her a gun point Dean. Are you crazy?" Sam kept yelling Dean just rolled his eyes and nodded at the clothes for me to get dressed. "Well since I'm going with you so willingly, do you think I might be able to get dressed with some privacy?" I snapped. Dean got up and him and Sam faced the wall, talking quietly while I got dressed.

I followed Dean to the nurse's station and checked out. Dean stayed right behind me, I'm guessing to make sure I didn't try to run away. We walked out and met Cas who was standing by a black impala, waiting with his arms crossed. "Get in, I will explain everything when we get back to the motel." Dean said walking around the car and getting behind the wheel. Cas held open the door for me to get in before closing it and walking around to get in himself.

No one spoke the whole way to the motel, once we got there, Dean led the way to their room and we all piled in. Sam and Dean took a seat at the table while Cas and I sat on the edge of the bed. "Okay so do I get to know why crazy guys are kidnapping me? Because I must warn you, I am a ninja, and I maybe cooperating now, but just wait… I'll be gone when you least expect it. So if you don't want to get all your asses kicked I suggest you let me go and I'll forget about this whole thing." I said crossing my arms.

Dean smiled and let out a laugh, "Oh blondie… Listen we aren't kidnapping you okay. You really are family to us, and I'm not just going to leave you behind, besides I don't know what might come after you so, I'd rather you be with us then out there unprotected. Even if you are dead weight."

"Come after me? Was I in the mob or something?"

"No no. I know this is going to be a little hard to believe, but monsters… they exist. Vampires, demons, angels, the whole nine. We are what you call hunters. We hunt these monsters." Dean said leaning forward on his knees.

"Right… and my name's Hermione." I replied rolling my eyes. "So you can't remember any of us, or Supernatural or monsters, but god forbid you forget Harry Potter." Dean scoffed, "Look Emma, I'm serious okay. Even Cassie over here, he's an angel."

I looked over at Cas who was already staring at me, "Uh huh, so uh how about you show me your angelic powers?" Cas suddenly disappeared and reappeared on the other side of me. He held up two fingers to my head and I suddenly saw flashes of random memories he had." I cannot do much, as I am cut off from heaven. I am an angel, but I am an fallen angel." He said.

"Uh…" I didn't know what to say. An angel. Monsters? I got lost in thought for a second before Dean's voice pulled me out. "Emma?" He asked looking a little worried.

"So you're an angel? Like wings, halo?" I said looking over at Cas. "Yes I have wings, but angels are not how you think they look. This is a vessel; this is not my true form. Seeing my true form would kill you." He nodded.

"So you weren't joking when you said an angel erased my memories." I paused as he shook his head, "Why would an angel want to erase my memories?" I asked.

"Because you knew the future, which would be extremely helpful and harmful to them." Cas said, glaring down at me. "I knew the future? Am I like a psychic or something?" I laughed. This was really starting to creep me out.

"No, you aren't from this world. We actually don't know where you are from, but wherever it was, our lives were a TV show. Your favorite TV show actually." Sam chimed in. A TV show, okay, and I didn't think it could get any weirder. We talked for another hour or so, all of them cluing me in on everything I missed.

Sam decided it would be a good idea to go get me some new clothes since I didn't have any, so we all took a trip to the nearest mall. We all walked in the mall, and instantly my face lit up. "You do not even understand how much I love shopping!" I said squealing. Dean rolled his eyes at me not saying anything. We went to a few stores before we stopped and decided to have lunch. I already had six shopping bags and wasn't close to done. "How much more crap do you need Emma? At this rate were already broke." Dean said biting into his piece of pizza.

"Dean, I can't just wear the same things over and over again. Plus a girl needs to be able to accessorize." I said and he rolled his eyes. "I need to go to the bathroom." I announced as I took a drink, Dean gave me a weird look as he finished chewing his food. "So go." Dean suggested, taking a sip.

"Uh someone needs to come with me."

"You're a big girl Emma." Dean pointed out. "I just found out that all monsters that go bump in the night are real and you want me to go to the bathroom by myself? You know, Hermione went to the bathroom by herself and got attacked my a troll." I stated, crossing my arms.

"Let's go." Cas said standing up. I stuck my tongue out at Dean and me and Cas walked over to the bathrooms. When I came out, he was standing around awkwardly just watching all the people pass. "You're not much of a people person are you?" I asked as I threw my paper towel in the trash. He squinted his eyes at me and I just laughed.

We shopped for another few hours before heading back to the motel, I got everything out of the bags just to throw them in the duffel bags I had gotten so they were all packed away. Sam and Dean had gone out to go get everyone food so Cas and me just stayed back at the motel.

"Emma. I have a question, and it might be inappropriate for me to ask considering, but… how do you feel about me?" Cas asked quietly. I turned my face away from the TV to look at him, his face looked completely broken.

"We had something… didn't we?" I asked and he nodded his head,

"Yes, it had only been a few months but the way I was drawn to you it was amazing. Angels are not supposed to have feelings. They are supposed to be soldiers, but when I met you, suddenly everything changed. You showed me what following my brothers and sisters does. You showed me a version of myself I never want to become, you made me want to become a better angel. A better man."

I didn't say anything I just looked down at my feet as he continued. "I know you don't remember anything from our short months together but I do. I remember all the ways I let you down, and even though this doesn't mean anything to you right now, I want you to know I will not let you down again Emma. I couldn't protect you from Zachariah, and I might not be able to protect you from the apocalypse or anything else that happens, but I will die trying. You're special Emma, and I can't loose you. I won't lose you… I just want to apologize, for not being there when you needed me."

"Casti—" I started but Sam and Dean walking through the door cut me off. When I looked back over Cas was gone.

I ate the burger that Sam and Dean had gotten me, but I didn't speak once. They were too invested in themselves at the moment to speak to me anyways. I just kept hearing what Cas had said to me over an over. I felt horrible that I couldn't be that Emma. That Emma sounded amazing. Just as we finished eating Cas appeared leaning against the wall in the kitchenette.

"What's wrong with you?" Sam asked running over to Cas, "Are you… drunk?"

"No!" Cas yelled, pulling his head back, "Yes." He said stumbling a little. "What the hell happened to you?" Sam asked watching Cas closely.

"I found a liquor store." Cas started but then closed his eyes. "And?" Sam asked cautiously. "I drank it." He said trying to take a step forward but ended up tripping over his own feet. Sam caught him before he fell face first on the floor. "Whoa. Easy. Are you okay?" Sam asked steading Cas.

Cas gave Sam a hard look, "Don't ask stupid questions." Sam helped Cas to the chair and Dean just sat there grinning. "Oh Cas, you son of a bitch. Well we all need to get some sleep. We need to head back to Bobby's in the morning. " Dean said getting up and patting Cas on the shoulder. Dean went in the bathroom and changed for bed, followed by Sam and then me. I started to make my bed on the couch when dean walked over his arms crossed.

"To good to sleep with us huh?" He said a grin on his face. I looked over at his as I took a seat on the couch fluffing my pillows. "Is that an offer?" I asked grinning back at him, "Because I can tell you I will not decline."

"Same ole Emma." Dean said smiling, "If you're not confortable it's fine, but why don't you take the bed, I'll sleep on the couch."

"Oh no it's fine—" I started to say but Dean practically carried me to the bed, giving me a stern look to just stay. He crawled on the couch and turned the lights off before I could object. So I laid down and tried to sleep but I just didn't feel confortable enough to fall asleep. Saying I was scared would be an understatement. The whole night I ended up starting at the wall, until the morning when we all packed up and got in the car to go to Bobby's.

In the morning, Cas seemed to have gotten over his drunken fiasco from the night before but he refused to look at me. I felt so bad I couldn't give him the Emma he wanted, I could understand why I liked him but I guess maybe one day everything would go back to normal and I wouldn't feel like such an outsider.

It only took a few hours to get to Bobby's house and the ride was extremely quiet except for the music Dean had been playing. When we all walked in, Bobby came over and gave everyone a hug, including me. "Hey Emma. I know you don't remember me right now, but It's good to have you back. Cas you think you can show her where her room is, I need to speak with Sam and Dean a moment." He said smiling at me and looking back to Cas. Cas nodded and I followed him up the stairs to and a bedroom and set my bags down on the bed. Cas still refused to look at me, and it was really starting to irritate me.

"I understand that I may not be the Emma you remember, or the one you shared everything with, but that doesn't mean you can't help me to become that Emma again. I get that it might be hard for you but your going to have to talk to me, and look at me. You can't ignore me forever." I said, taking a seat on the bed. He looked over at me but quickly looked down at the feet.

"You know you can make this easy or we can do this the hard way. I can be very determined when I want to be. I will annoy you until you speak to me. I'll just get in your face." I said getting up and walking over to him, "I'm very good at being annoying. I will just talk and talk and talk until you just can't take it anymore and finally crack. Day or night. Angels don't sleep right? So how about I just—" I was cut of by Cas grabbing me and pulling me into him, kissing me. I know… I didn't know him but I didn't object, besides I knew pulling away would have just made matters worse, when I was trying to get him to talk to me.

When we pulled apart, he looked at me so ashamed. "I'm sorry." He uttered turning his back to me. I just giggled and shook my head. "Don't be sorry, I enjoyed that, but we should probably get heading back downstairs." I said and we made our way down to the living room. When we walked in Dean looked pissed and Sam looked as if he had been punched in the gut.

"You're not my father. And you ain't in my shoes." Dean yelled at Bobby.

Bobby pulled out a gun from his desk and set it on the desk, proceeding to pull a bullet out of his pocket, staring at it. "What's that?" Dean asked a little gentler. Bobby set the bullet down on the deck in front of him and looked up at dean.

"Every morning, I look at it. I think, "Maybe today's the day I flip the lights out." But I don't do it. I never do it. You know why? Because I promised you I wouldn't give up." Bobby said harshly. Cas suddenly grasped his head and hunched over in pain.

"Hey you okay?" I asked, looking over at him. "No." He muttered out still holding his head.

"What's wrong?" Sam asked his face turning to worry. "Something's happening" Cas said quickly and vanished, a wind filling the room and papers flew everywhere. "Great." Dean said walking into the kitchen, Sam following him. A few seconds later Cas reappeared with a body slouched over his shoulder. "Help." Cas said walking over to the couch.

"Boys!" Bobby yelled getting up and going over to Cas who laid the man down on the couch taking a breath. Sam and Dean ran in and over to couch looking down. "Who is it?" Bobby asked looking up at the boys. Sam hesitated a second before looking over at Bobby. "That's our brother."


	18. Chapter 18

I stood off to the side by Cas, watching everyone gawk over the man laying on the couch. Just when I though that none of this could get more confusing, It managed to. "Wait a minute. Your brother? Adam?" Bobby asked looking back at Sam who just nodded.

"Cas, what the hell?" Dean yelled turning to Cas. "Angels." He said, "I know one thing for sure. We need to hide him… now." Cas walked over and put his hand on Adam's chest and suddenly Adam woke up.

"Where am I?" He yelled looking around confused. "It's okay. Just relax, you're safe." Sam said holding up his hands defensively. "Who the hell are you?" Adam asked sitting up.

"You're going to find this a little… a lot crazy, but we're actually your brothers." Dean started. "It's the truth. John Winchester was our father too. See, I'm Sam—"

"Yeah, and I'm sure that's Dean. I know who you are." Adam said coldly cutting Sam off. Sam exchanged a look with Dean who looked as confused as he did. "How?" Sam asked looking back at Adam. "They warned me about you." Adam confessed, looking irritated.

"Who did?" Dean asked crossing his arms.

"The angels. No where the hell is Zachariah?"

"Why don't you just tell us everything? Start from the beginning." Dean said, anger in his voice. Adam rolled his eyes and let out a sigh.

"Well, I was dead and in heaven. Except it… it uh, kind of looked my prom and I was making out with this girl, her name was Kristin McGee—"

"Yeah that sounds like heaven. Did you get to third base?" Dean asked grinning. Sam looked over at dean shaking his head, "Just uh, just keep going."

"Well, these… these angels, they popped up out of nowhere, and they tell me that I… I'm chosen. To save the world."

"Uh huh… How you gonna do that?" Dean ask leaning against Bobby's desk. "Oh, me and some archangel are going to kill the devil." Adam said nonchalantly.

"You say that like it's nothing." I gawked. Adam just sent me a smile and shrugged. "What archangel?" Dean asked irritated now. Adam looked over at dean, his smile dropping "Michael. I'm his uh, sword or vessel or something. I don't know."

Dean looked over at Sam like they had just been waiting for this moment to happen. "They are moving on from you Dean. It's all happening." Cas said his face emotionless. Dean sighed and ran his hand down his face, "Why now? I haven't even given them an answer yet. I thought I was buying time before I had to say yes."

"Maybe they are desperate. Maybe they wrongly assumed Dean would be brave enough toe withstand them, since they have Emma's memories now."

"Alright you know what? Blow me, Cas." Dean said irritated and turned his attention back to Adam. It was somewhat cute the way they fought, almost like a married couple. "You know this has been a really moving family reunion, but uh, I got a thing so…" Adam said as he started to get up off the couch, Sam ran over to him, and practically pushed him back down on the couch. "Whoa no... Sit down. Just listen, okay? Please." Sam said gently, trying to calm Adam down.

"Now, Adam…. The angels are lying o you. They're full of crap." Sam started and Adam just scoffed rolling his eyes.

"Yeah I don't think so."

"Really why not?" Sam asked raising his eyebrows.

"Um, cause they're angels." Adam spat; clearly, he didn't want to be here. "They tell you they were gonna roast half the planet?" Sam asked his voice getting a little harsher.

"They said the fight might get pretty hairy, but it's the devil, right? So we got to stop him." Adam nodded shifting in his seat. "Yeah, but there is another way." Sam said.

"Great. What is it?"

"We're working on 'the power of love'" Dean smirked and nodded his head. Adam didn't seemed the slightest bit amused, "How's that going?" Adam asked sarcastically.

"Look Adam… You don't know me a hole in the wall, I know. But I'm begging you. Please just trust me. Give me some more time." Sam said gently, a small smile on his face. Adam didn't seem to care but he gave in anyway. Sam decided to make us all some sandwiches for lunch. Bobby and Sam were talking about something secretly in the corner, so it was really no surprise when they all headed down to the basement, leaving Adam, Cas, and me.

Adam was playing with his sandwich, looking over at the door in the kitchen probably thinking of an escape plan. "Ain't a good idea." I said taking another bite. Adam looked over at me then over his shoulder at Cas, who was standing behind us in the doorway to the living room. "So why are you here? Are you like my half sister or something?" Adam asked looking back at me.

"No, I'm… a friend of theirs I guess. I don't really remember. Apparently this angel guy, Zachariah I think, got to me and erased all my memories."

"Why would the angels do that?"

"I don't know" I shrugged

"So why stay here with people you don't even know? We can leave, together. They can't just kidnap us like this." Adam said quietly, so Cas wouldn't hear. Too bad he didn't know Cas was an angel.

"I don't want to leave. I know I don't know them, but something in the back of my head tells me to trust them." I sighed. Adam was about to speak when Bobby and Sam came back into the kitchen and He shut up. I got up and went over to Cas who was staring out the window. "You okay?" I asked.

"Dean is thinking about saying yes to Michael." Cas said not looking at me.

"So talk to him. Maybe we can convince him not to. I mean I'm not completely sure of everything but I sure don't like the sound of the apocalypse."

Cas turned to look at me, his face still emotionless. I nodded for him to come with me and we walked down to the basement where Dean was being kept in the panic room. There was a crash when we walked down and Cas seemed to be on edge. He went to the panic room door and opened the window looking through but no one was there. We heard a few more crashes and I grabbed Cas's hand, and scooted up close to him.

Cas opened the door slowly looking in, "Dean?" He asked as we walked in, my hand squeezing the life out of his. "Cas." Dean said from the corner. Dean placed his hand on a symbol that was drawn on the wall and a white light started coming from Cas. Dean sat watching until his rested on me and he looked like someone had just stabbed him in the gut. Cas started screaming then suddenly everything went white and I closed my eyes.

When I opened my eyes I was in a park, and it was suddenly dark outside. I looked around confused and I saw Cas sitting on a park benched barely conscious. I ran over to him and sat him upright. "Cas, what just happened?" I asked as calmly as I could.

"Dean banished me, and since you were holding on to me I guess I dragged you with me."

"Banished you? Are you going to be okay?" I asked looking him up and down. He didn't seem to be harmed at all but I could tell he was in a lot of pain. "I will be fine. It will just take some time for me to regenerate my strength. Are you okay Emma?" He asked

"Yes, I'm fine." I nodded, giving him a smile. "I'm a little scared though. Where are we?"

"Somewhere in Finland."

"Finland… Awesome. So how long until you're all better?" I asked taking a seat next to him. "An hour or two. Then I will be able to get us back, but we should not stay here. Someone will see us and we can not afford for the cops to find us." Cas said looking around, His eyes resting on the tree line of the forest at the edge of the park. He slowly got up and I helped him as we walked into the forest at least a mile, before Cas took a seat on the ground against a tree.

I crouched down next him, and let out a sigh. "We will be here for a while Emma, you might as well sit down." He said looking at me weird.

"Gross... I'm good. " I laughed looking around. He took off his trench coast and set it down on the ground. "There. Now sit." He said sternly. I sighed and took a seat next to him. I yawned and rested my head on his shoulder; I had not realized how tired I was from not sleeping the night before. I must have passed out because when I woke up Cas was picking me up in his arms. I looked up at him and cleared my throat and he set me down on my feet.

"I'm sorry. I thought you were still asleep." He said picking up his trench coat and shaking it off. "I'm a very light sleeper. Sorry I fell asleep. So are you all better now?" I asked as he put his trench coat on and nodded. He placed his hand on me and we appeared in a town alley. He started walking not even bothering to see if I was behind him. He seemed pissed off now. I started to loose him in the crowd of people that were walking on the side walk but I managed to keep him in sight. When I finally caught up to him, he was in an alleyway, beating Dean to a bloody pulp.

"I rebelled for this? So that you could surrender to them?" Cas yelled hitting Dean in the face once more. "I gave everything for you. And this is what you give me!"

I ran over and grabbed Cas's arm before he could get another punch in. Dean's face was swollen and he had blood on almost every inch of his face. "Do it. Just do it!" Dean yelled to Cas. He looked over at me, and sighed unclenching his fists. He touched two fingers to Dean's head and he passed out. Cas picked him up and looked over at me. "Come here. Grab on to me." I did I was told and he zapped us back to Bobby's living room.

"Watch your tone, boy. He was right in front of me, and then he disappeared into thin air." Bobby said irritated.

"Because the angels took him." Cas chimed in, making Sam and Bobby jump. "What the hell happened to him?" Sam asked worried, helping Cas set Dean down on the couch.

"Me." Cas said coldly standing back up.

"What do you mean, the angels took Adam? You branded his ribs, didn't you?" Bobby asked confused.

"Yes but he must have tipped them off. Most likely in a dream." Cas nodded. Sam looked down at Dean and shook his head. "Help me get him to the panic room, we need to lock him up before he tries to say yes to Michael." Sam said looking over at Bobby. They both got Dean up and carried him down to the basement. I looked over at Cas who refused to look at me. "Cas…" I placed my hand on his arm and he grabbed me and pulled me into a hug.

"Are you okay?" I asked looking up at him.

"I'm not sure what will happen after today, and since you don't remember there is no way of knowing if I survive. What I do know is that, you changed things. You showed me that everyone can make their own destiny." He said glaring down at me. "I'm still new to these feelings, but If I should die, I want you to know that—" Cas started to say but got cut off by Dean screaming from down stairs.

"You're not going to die okay, we will talk about this later." I said running down to the basement. I didn't want him to finish what he was going to say. I didn't feel that way towards him and I couldn't just break his heart. It had only been a little over a day I've known them all. Sure I may have knew them before I lost my memories, but right now, I didn't and it was all to much. I may have trusted them but that was as far as it went.

When we reached the panic room, everyone was standing around the cot in the middle of the room. Sam had decided he wanted to go get Adam from the angels and Dean seconded it. Everyone bickered for 30 minutes before Cas finally decided he would take us to go get Adam.

"Where the hell are we?" Dean asked looking around.

"Van Nuys, California." Cas said.

"The beautiful room is in an abandoned muffler factory in Van Nuys, California? You guys really need better places for this thing."

"So tell me again why you don't just grab Adam and shazam the hell out of there." Sam asked crossing his arms. "Because there are at least five angels in there." Cas said coldly.

"So? Your fast." Dean shrugged.

"They're faster." Cas said as he took his tie off and tied it around his palm. "I'll clear them out. You three grab the boy. This is our only chance."

"Whoa wait. You're gonna take on five angels?" I asked

"Yes."

"Isn't that suicide?" Dean asked.

"Maybe it is. But then I won't have to watch you fail. I'm sorry Dean. I do not have the same faith in you that Sam does." Cas said as he pulled a box cutter out of his pocket. "What are you going to do with that?" I shrieked. He pulled open his shirt and started to carve an angel banishing symbol on his chest. He took out an angel blade and handed it to dean. "Just in case." He nodded.

Cas buttoned his shirt back up, walked over to me, and pulled me to him, kissing me. "I know you don't remember but I do." He whispered after we pulled away. I couldn't say anything. I didn't know what to say. He turned and walked into the warehouse, the doors closing behind him.

"So you and Cassie huh? I never saw that one coming." Dean said a huge smile on his face. I rolled my eyes at him. "Hey, Just saying…" He shrugged. We walked into the warehouse and no one was in sight except one angel who was laying on the ground dead. We ran into the room where they were keeping Adam. Dean ran over to Adam who was on the floor, and helped him to his feet

"You came for me." He uttered, trying to get up. "Yeah, well, you're family." Dean said, a small smile on his face. "No Dean, it's a trap." Adam yelled as a Zachariah appeared in front of Sam and me, his back to us.

"Dean, please. Did you really think it would be that easy?" Zachariah asked, a cocky grin on his face. Sam ran towards Zachariah, an angel blade in his hand. Zachariah waved his hand and Sam went flying into the wall, dropping the angel blade. "Sam!" Dean yelled, running over to him.

Zachariah turned to look at me, and his smile got larger. "Emma. How good it is to see you again. I know you probably don't remember me but we used to be good friends. Your memories are helping just as we thought they would. They have done us a lot of good. I was hoping after erasing your memories you wouldn't find yourself with the Winchesters again, but I guess I was wrong."

"You're the one that erased my memories?" I asked, and he just laughed. "I probably should have just killed you then, but now is as good as ever." He waved his hand and I started to uncontrollably cough up blood.

"Emma! Let her go you son of a bitch." Dean yelled standing up.

"You know Dean, I thought I was downsized for sure. And for us, a firing… pretty damn literal. But I should have trusted the boss man. It's all playing out like he said… You, me, Emma's memories, your hemorrhaging brothers." Zachariah said smiling, he turned his fist and Adam, and Sam started to couch up blood as I was. "You're finally ready right?"

Dean looked between all of us, lying on the floor in pain, dean's face broken. "You know there's no other choice. There's never been a choice." Zachariah nodded.

"Stop it. Stop it right now!" Dean yelled, glaring at Zachariah.

"In exchange for what?"

Dean closed his eyes, sighing. "Damn it, Zachariah. Stop it please. I'll do it."

"How do I know you're not lying? He asked, tightening his fists, causing all of us to scream out in pain. I couldn't concentrate after that. I closed my eyes and just prayed to die so maybe this pain would stop. Suddenly, the pain started to slowly subside and I looked over at Sam and Adam who seemed to be recovering too.

"What did you say?" Zachariah asked, looking baffled.

"I said… before Michael gets one piece of this sweet ass… he has to turn you in a piece of charcoal." Dean said smugly.

"You really think Michael is gonna go for that? You listen to me. You are nothing but a maggot inside a worm's ass. Do you know who I am… after I deliver you to Michael?" Zachariah yelled. "Michael's not gonna kill me."

"Maybe not… But I am." Dean said, shoving an angel blade through Zachariah's chin and into his head. Dean fell to the ground and a white light and ear piercing noise filled the room. Sam came over and helped me to my feet, my head was killing me, and I could barely walk. I looked over and Dean had helped Adam to his feet, and we started for the door. We were going through the door but it closed shut behind Dean, locking Adam inside.

"Dean help! Dean!" I heard Adam yelling from the other side of the door. The white light got brighter and then slowly faded under the door. Dean threw the doors open but the room was empty. "Emma, hey are you okay?" Sam asked holding me up. I couldn't speak though. I was in so much pain I thought my head was going to explode. "Dean!" Sam yelled as he scooped me up in his arms. That was the last thing I remember before I passed out.

When I woke up, I was at Bobby's house, in my room. I sat up and looked around. My clothes were all bloody and my head was killing me. I got up and walked down stairs and found Dean, Cas and Sam in the living room. Dean ran over to me and gave the biggest hug ever. "Emma. I thought you were never going to wake up." He yelled. I looked up at him confused, "Uh, I was just one night Dean, people do need sleep." I said looking at him weird.

"Emma, you've been knocked out for a good week and a half." Sam said looking at me worriedly. Over a week? The last thing I remember was just going to sleep. "Uh, right. What happen then? Cause I sure don't remember." I shrugged taking a seat on the couch.

"I don't know you just passed out after Michael took Adam."

"Michael took Adam? What?" I asked confused, Sam looked between Dean and Cas.

"Yeah, Emma, you don't remember?"

"The last thing I remember is drinking with Ellen and Jo, and Cas, you got hammered. I went to bed and now here I am. I must have missed a lot the last week. I didn't think I drank that much."

"You remember Ellen and Jo? What else do you remember?" Cas asked stammering over and taking a seat next to me. "Well everything except the this Adam, Michael fiasco and I guess whatever else I missed while I was passed out." I shrugged.

Cas looked over at Dean and Sam, they all looked worried. "What am I missing here?" I asked, they weren't to subtle that something had obviously happened. "Emma, Zachariah got to you. He erased all your memories. You didn't remember us, or the apocalypse or anything." Sam said gingerly. Didn't remember? That's not possible, if it is, then how do I have my memories back? I looked over at Cas who seemed more worried then the rest of them.

"Maybe when you killed Zachariah, it reversed what he had done to her." Cas said, looking over at Dean. Cas looked back over to me, looking me up and down. "Well I guess we have a lot to catch up on over breakfast." I laughed trying not to freak out. Dean smirked at me and nodded his head. "Yeah we do. We have Gabriel's Blade… and tomorrow… We are gonna kill us a devil."


	19. Chapter 19

Over breakfast, Dean explained everything that had happened. Between Adam and Michael, to getting Gabriel's blade, and even their plan to take out the devil. I had to say the plan wasn't the smartest, but then again how is fighting the devil smart? Sam said he would rather die than let the devil take over him, so he didn't care how it went down, as long we did all we could. After breakfast, I went up stairs to take a shower and change, since I hadn't taken a shower in about two weeks which was just beyond gross. After I changed, I laid down on the bed and buried my head in my pillow.

I was still trying to wrap my mind around everything. Sam and Dean being real, Cas, not to mention tomorrow I was going to meet the devil. To say I wasn't happy here would have been a lie, but to say I didn't miss home would have also been a lie. Maybe this would be it for me. That was all that kept going through my mind. Somehow, I had come to this world, and it was real. So if I die here that would it, and tomorrow, I might very well die.

I heard the sound of wings and I looked up at Cas who was now standing next to the bed. "Why are you crying?" He asked looking down at me. I sat up and wiped away the tears smiling. "Oh you know, just so happy to meet the devil." I shrugged. He took a seat in front of me and kept his eyes on the bed. "Emma…" He started, but I held up my hand before he could continue.

"I don't need the whole, end of the world, last day on earth speech okay. It's already hard enough. I don't want to think about it. Right now, I just want to think about good things," I smiled and grabbed his hand, causing him to look at me, "I need you to take me somewhere Cas, if it's not too much to ask."

"Anything you need Emma." He nodded staring at me.

I smiled and nodded before I got up and started to put some shoes on. "May I ask what you need to do?" He asked watching my every movement.

"Just something that needs to happen before everyone dies." I smiled. I bent down and whispered in his ear and he stood up smiling. He laid his hand on my shoulder and zapped us away.

* * *

When we returned, I ran down stairs to the living room where Bobby was sitting at his desk, reading some book. He gave me a look when I ran into the living room, a huge smile on face. "Emma, what's wrong? Why you runnin' through the house like a banshee?"

"Where are Sam and Dean?" I asked, he nodded toward the back door so I just smiled at him and ran outside. Sam and Dean we sitting on the hood of the impala drinking beers and talking. I about scared Dean half to death when I ran up to them. "Emma, what the hell?" Dean yelled.

"We are going to have a movie night tonight. You do not get a say in this, do not complain. I refuse to let you die with out seeing Harry Potter." I said crossing my arms. Sam laughed, looking over at Dean who seemed irritated. "My last night on Earth most likely and this is how you want to celebrate? Why can't we do something…" He paused looking me up and down, "More fun." He shrugged. I gave him a look and he laughed. "Oh right, I forgot you already have a little angel boy toy."

"What?" I croaked. When did he figure out about that? "Oh yeah, you didn't think I would know about that? A little hard when you two decide to make out in front of everyone." He said, a smile still on his face.

I don't ever remember kissing him in front of anyone, we never even acted as if we were anywhere on that level in front of anyone. It must have been when I had my memories erased. "Just shut up… Come on." I said grabbing Dean's hand and pulling him into the house. Sam got up and followed and we all piled into the living room. Cas was already sitting down on the couch with Bobby. I guess Cas must have told him what I had planned.

"Do we have licorice?" Dean asked as he looked around the kitchen. "No, we do not have licorice. We have good snacks, licorice is disgusting." Sam snapped back.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't quite understand that, Mr. Peanut butter and banana sandwich."

"Hey, you know what, I stand by that sandwich. Nobody likes licorice. It's made of dirt!"

"It's a classic movie food. It's right up there with popcorn!"

"Popcorn?" Sam asked giving Dean a look. "You're out of your mind."

"They are like chewy pieces of Heaven!" Dean yelled and sighed, giving up the search. "Oh stop your belly aching and get in here." Bobby yelled. Sam and Dean came in and we all piled in front of the TV. Bobby, Dean, and me sat on the couch, and Sam and Cas sat on the floor. Cas didn't have so many questions this time around, but he still had a few. Dean would get irritated every time he talked so he would kick him in the back of the head gently with foot.

I ended up dosing off sometime in the movie, when I woke up; my head was resting on Dean's chest. I looked at the TV and Harry potter was still playing so I wasn't asleep for too long. Cas was still asking questions and Dean shushed him and felt his head motion towards me. Cas looked back at me confused and I sat up. "It's okay I'm awake." I said stretching.

"How do you fall asleep during your favorite movie?" Dean asked looking over at me. I didn't even know why I seemed to be so tired lately. I just nudged him and started watching the movie again. An hour later, the movie finally ended and Sam and Dean would not shut up about it. Dean said he was going to leave hunting and become a wizard, and create a spell a to get him laid. "You're psychotic you understand that right?" Sam said laughing.

"Don't hate just because you know I'd be a sexy wizard." Dean smirked. He looked over at the time and his face suddenly dropped. He turned back to Sam who nodded, it was time to get going. Dean started to pack up the impala and we all gave Bobby a hug. He was going to meet us in Detroit after he finished a few things here. We all crawled into the impala and got ready for a 14 hour drive.

When we got to Detroit, I was awoken by Cas gently shaking me. I looked around; Sam and Dean were outside the car, talking to Bobby, in some alleyway. "Are we here?" I asked sitting up. It was day out, so I had guess I slept through the night.

"Detroit." Cas said, looking down at me.

"Well that's good. Why is everyone just standing around? We should get going…" I said. Cas didn't say anything, he didn't even look at me. "Cas…?" He didn't say anything again. I sat up and was about to open the door before Cas reached over and gabbed my hand. "I'm sorry Emma." He muttered, still not looking at me. I looked over at Sam who was staring at me, his face looking broken. I tried to remember what was supposed to happen. This is where Sam gave himself over to Lucifer, but he wasn't doing that this time, we had Gabriel's blade. I looked over at Cas who still refused to look at me.

"Gabriel never came. He never answered us Emma. I'm sorry, this is for the best." Cas mumbled. I snatched my hand away and stared at him. He was lying. "It isn't supposed to happen the same way. Remember. We… we… no Cas. No!" I yelled. I looked over and Sam and Dean were starting to walk away. I opened the car door and started to run after them but Cas had appeared beside me and caught me by the waist before I could get to far. I kicked and punched Cas, but it was useless, He was too strong for me.

After a while, I calmed down and Cas just held me while we waited for them to come back out. 45 minutes later Dean walked out, tears in his eyes. I stared at the door waiting for Sam to walk out but I knew it would never happen. I knew he gave himself over to Lucifer. I pulled myself away from Cas, and walked over to Dean who was leaning over the trunk of the impala. "It's starting." Cas said from behind me. Dean looked up at him, his face cold. "Yeah you think genius."

"You don't have to be mean." Cas said sounding a little hurt. Dean turned around and leaned up against the impala crossing his arms. "So what do we do now?"

"I suggest we imbibe copious quantities of alcohol… Just wait for the inevitable blast wave." Cas shrugged. I gave him a weird look and shook my head. "Not helping Cas…".

"Yeah, swell, thank you Bukowski. I… I mean, how do we stop it?" Dean asked looking at the ground.

"We don't. Lucifer will meet Michael on the chosen field, and the battle of Armageddon begins."

Dean looked at me; I could tell he was holding himself back from completely breaking down. "We stopped it before. Sam threw himself in the cage. I was there, you said we all died, and we all were resurrected or something. What happen?"

"Well you showed up at the field and, Cas sent Michael away for you that way you could talk to Sam, but them Luci killed Cas and then Bobby. Then he started to beat the crap out of you and somehow Sam got control long enough to open the cage and throw himself and Michael in there. God I suppose resurrected Cas and he fixed you and brought Bobby back and you went back to go live with Lisa and Cas went to heaven."

"How did I get Sam out of the Cage?" Dean asked quietly. I could tell he didn't really want to hear this, knowing this was his only option. "You don't. Cas goes down and gets him. Except he messes up and he is only able to get his body out. That is how robo Sam was created. Until you get Death to put his soul back in but it was a year before you even found out he was alive. A lot of bad things came from it."

"Dean I'm sorry—" Cas started to say but Dean just patted him on the shoulder, a small smile on his face. "Hey man, you tried right. That's gotta count for something. So where is this chosen field?"

"Some cemetery? I'm not sure exactly where. I think you called Chuck to figure it out." I shrugged. He pulled out his phone and called up Chuck, walking a little ways away so no one could hear him. "We can't let him do it this time around. I know it may have worked before, but if he was out I think that's worth somethin." Bobby said, "Sam told me if this happened to just let him go. I think we should honor that."

"I agree. Besides so many things have not happened, it may not play out exactly the way you remember Emma. For all we know, this will be a suicide mission and I will not be resurrected, or Sam will not be able to gain control." Cas pointed out.

"Well I ain't going to let him die alone." Dean yelled from behind us. No one had realized he had even walked back over. Bobby was about to say something but Dean got in the impala and drove off. "Balls!" Bobby yelled walking back to this van, he turned around half way there and looked at Cas and me. "You princesses comin' or you waiting for an invitation?"

I sighed and we walked over, got in the van, and started driving the direction Dean went. Cas went to go talk to Chuck to see where the fight was going down, and when he came back and told us it was in Kansas I about died. I was so sick of being in a car, but I guess tomorrow it wouldn't matter. We drove all night, I slept the first half of the way there, and Bobby let me drive the rest of the 6 hours so he could get some sleep. We only stopped to pee, all of our appetites gone. Cas didn't really have to worry, so he just sat there in silence the whole time.

When we got to the cemetery, we could see Dean's impala from the street. We all climbed out and Cas started to make some kind of holy fire bomb. "And you're sure that's going to work?" Bobby asked.

"It did before." I shrugged as watch Cas finish up. We closed up the van and suddenly I felt something cold and hard wrap around my wrist. I looked down and I was handcuffed to the Van. "What the hell Cas?" I yelled trying to tug my hand out of the cuffs. "I'm sorry Emma, I can't watch you die. I refuse." Cas said as he kissed my forehead, he looked down at me and kissed my lips for a second before pulling away. He didn't say anything else, he just left and followed Bobby into the cemetery.

I kept trying to pull at the handcuffs but it was no use. I was about to give up when I heard wings. I looked up and Gabriel was standing in front of me. "Emma, Emma, Emma. You know there is a lot of talk about you amongst the angels. You're a very popular young lady," He said a light smile on his face.

"You know under normal circumstances I would probably be over joyed to meet you considering you're like my favorite angel but I just cant right now. I'm so mad at you! In the show, you gave your life for Sam and Dean, so they would have a chance, this time you didn't even bother coming around!" I yelled.

"I can understand how that would anger you," He nodded, But in all fairness you already knew about the rings and how to use them You told the Winchesters before I even got the chance to, so really I don't see why you are so angry I didn't show up for the party."

"Because I knew the rings wouldn't work!"

"But they do. Just not the way you want them too." He said. I didn't respond to that. I knew he was right, the rings did exactly what their purpose was, and I just didn't like the outcome. Not one bit. "How about I make you a deal. Since you saved me from Lucifer over there, I will give you a choice." He said. He snapped his fingers and the handcuffs disappeared. He took an angel blade out of his coat and handed it to me. "You can choose to go stab Lucifer with this, it will kill him, or can choose to sit back and let things play out as they will."

"Why are you giving this to me now?" I asked looking down at the blade.

"There are consequences no matter what you choose Emma, just think of this as your one freebie from me, okay? I don't want Lucifer here anymore than you do, and if he gets locked up in that cage he will just get out again eventually."

"How am I supposed to get close enough to stab him? What will happen to Sam?" I asked looking back at him.

"Consequences…" He shrugged, and disappeared. I looked down at the blade in my hand and closed my eyes. I couldn't believe I was about to do this but I had to do something. I ran into the cemetery where everyone was. When I walked up, Bobby was already dead on the ground and Cas was cake batter. I looked over to Dean who was getting the crap beaten out of him by Lucifer. Suddenly his hand stopped mid air and he froze.

I took a deep breath before I started walking toward them. "It's okay, Dean. It's gonna be okay. I've got him." Sam said as Dean looked up at him. Sam took the rings out of his pocket and turned around to throw them but he stopped when he saw me. "I'm sorry Sam." I mumbled trough the crying and I jammed the blade into his heart before he got a chance to speak.

Sam started to scream and a bright light started emanating from inside of him. I closed my eyes until the white light was gone. When I opened them again, Sam was on the ground, wings burned into the grass where he lay. I fell to the ground and looked at Sam, crying.

"You've made a very big mistake Emma." I heard a voice say from behind me. I turned around and Michael was standing behind me. I grabbed the blade out of Sam chest and stood up facing Michael. "Oh that's cute. You really think you can take me Emma? You may have gotten the slip on my brother but that was luck. You will pay for what you have done."

"I know I can't take you, but I never planned to fight you."

"Then what shall you do with the blade?" He asked tilting his head.

"Thought I'd play monkey in the middle." I shrugged and threw the blade at him. He reached his hand out for it but Gabriel appeared in front of him, grabbed the blade, and forced it into Michael's chest. "I'm sorry brother." Gabriel said as a white light came from Michael and he dropped to the ground.

Gabriel came over to me as he wiped his blade off and put it away. "I think I deserve to be your favorite angel now."

"Bring them back." I croaked, as I tried to stop the crying. Gabriel looked at Sam who was dead on the ground. "Emma. I said there would be consequences, you have live with them."

"No! You can bring them back! You just don't want to!" I yelled but he vanished. I dropped to my knees and Dean came over, getting on his knees as well. "I'm so sorry Dean." I cried. He shook his head and pulled me into a hug. "No Emma. This is better. Sam's in a better place now. He isn't stuck in the cage with Lucifer. That's because of you." Dean said.

"But everyone... their dead." I said looking up at him. "It's okay. We will make it through this. You and me. I think it's safe to say we can legally change your name to Winchester now." He tried to smile. I just rested my head on his chest and cried. Dean looked up when he heard someone beside us and Cas was standing there, looking down at us confused.

"Cas… you're alive." Dean said as Cas placed two fingers to his forehead and Dean's face turned back to normal. "I'm better than that." Cas said as he walked over to Bobby. Dean and I stood up and watched as Cas brought Bobby back to life. "Cas… are you God?" Dean asked a surprised look on his face when Bobby sat up.

"That's a nice compliment. But no. Although, I do believe he brought me back. Just as Emma had seen. New and improved."

Dean looked down at Sam and back to Cas, who was now bending beside him. He placed his hand on Sam's chest and we watched but nothing happened. Dean's eye's started to tear up and he fell to the ground next to his brother. "Damn it Sammy! Wake up!" He yelled to Sam's corpse but he didn't move. Not one inch. Cas stood up and watched as Dean laid his head on Sam chest, crying. I closed my eyes and turned my head away. I just couldn't take it anymore.

"It's a little hard to breathe with you breaking my ribs." I heard a voice say. I looked over and Sam was giving Dean a small smile. Dean sat up and pulled Sam into a hug. "Damn it Sam!" He yelled and they hugged it out. Sam and Dean stood up and Sam came over to me, a smile on his face. "Thank you Emma." He said pulling me into a hug. I pushed him away and shook my head.

"Thank you for what? For stabbing you straight through the heart with an angel blade? No, don't you dare thank me. How about thank you Sam, for not even saying goodbye to me. For just walking off into that building and giving yourself straight to Lucifer. How about thank you all, for lying me to me this entire time. I thought we were a team."

"Emma—"

"Just don't Sam. I'm glad you're all okay, but I just… I don't know." I shrugged and I felt the tears start to rush down my face. I turned and walked away. Thankfully, no one came after me, at least not for the time being. After I was out of the cemetery, I just ran. I ran, ran, and didn't look back. I probably ran for 15 minutes until I walked out of a forest, which lead to a clearing on a cliff that overlooked a town. I sat down on a rock and just started crying. Not even holding it back anymore.

This is what I always wanted. To be here with Sam and Dean, hunt; fight monsters, save the world. I just didn't think it would be so hard. I felt so empty inside and I didn't know why. I killed the devil; Gabriel saved my ass from Michael. I actually owe my life to Gabriel because without him we would all be dead. I was doing what I had wanted, everyone was fine, and the world was fine, so why did I feel like hurling myself off this cliff.

I don't think I ever really understood the emotional torture that everyone went through on the show. How much it actually took to keep going, to no break down and end it all. I was just starting to think I wasn't strong enough anymore. I didn't know how they all could do it, even after years and years of this, I feel like it would just get harder. Someone sat down next to me and I didn't even want to look up. I knew it was just Cas, wanting to tell me all this crap about how I saved everyone and I just didn't want to hear it right now.

"Emma." I heard Dean say. I looked up surprised and he was staring down at me, his face hard. I looked around and Cas was nowhere in sight. I was actually surprised. "Look, Emma. I know this is all hard and just wait a second before you start yellin' at me okay? Just hear me out... I know your upset Sam didn't say goodbye, and I know you're angry at us for not telling you the truth, but that all lays on me. Not them." He paused looking down at me to make sure I was listening and then looked back out at the town.

"When you didn't have your memories, it really hurt me. I know we have only known each other for a few months but you are like a little sister to me. I love you Emma, and you had better believe that because you should know I don't just say that… ever. I just thought, you were out... you know. We dragged you into this life for selfish reasons, because you knew the future, and that was a dick move on us. I just thought that we would go ice the devil and what ever happens, happens, you didn't remember us really anyway. No matter how nice you were to us. When you woke up that morning and you remembered everything, I didn't know what to do. So I lied. I thought maybe you could have some blissful ignorance for a few days, but even that was selfish of me because I didn't once think about you, and I'm sorry for that Emma. If you want to go… I don't blame you. This life can take quite a toll on you, and it will just get harder and harder. I just want you to know, that no matter what you choose, you will always have a family to come home to."

I looked over at Dean and fell into his arms. He pulled me closer to him and I just kept crying. "If I leave then who is going to save your stupid asses all the time?" I asked looking up at him. Dean laughed and pushed the hair out of my face, and wiped away my tears. "Well, I don't know, I guess another hunter who only knows how to wear dresses and heels. I'll have to put an ad out in the paper."

I laughed and sat up, taking a deep breath. "Style is everything, besides I'm death in a dress, bitches should watch out."

"How long have you been working on that?" Dean laughed shaking his head. I just shrugged and gave him smile. "So, how did you know Gabriel would be there, to catch the blade?"

"I don't know. Something in my head just kept yelling at me to throw the blade, it was almost like I was in a trance." I shrugged and he nodded.

"Come on, everyone is waiting." Dean said as he got up. He held his hand out to me and I grabbed it, and he helped me up. We walked back to the Impala that was parked at the entrance of the forest. Everyone was just standing around in silence. "Emma, I'm so sorry." Sam said as he came over to me, I gave him a hug and he wrapped his arms around me.

"If you ever do it again I don't care if you're twice my size, I will chop your balls off." I said completely serious, he laughed and gave me another hug nodding his head. "Deal." He said.

I gave him a smile and walked over to Cas who standing by the front of the impala by himself, just staring off into the distance. "So what now? Going back to heaven to deal with the civil war?" I asked. He looked over at me not saying a word and then back out to the road. "It's okay Cas, I understand, I never really expected you to stay down here after this was all over."

"Why not?" He asked still not looking at me.

"I don't know, because you're an angel, and God just brought you back? You have to do what you believe is right… correct?"

He turned to me and his face looked so sad "Isn't that where I messed up though? Where I became the Castiel you didn't approve of."

"Read my thoughts again… right now." I said looking him in the eyes. He raised two fingers to my head for a second and placed his hand back down, nodding. "Okay, so now you know exactly where you go wrong right? Now you can make better choices." I grabbed his hand in mine and looked up at him, "I believe in you Castiel."

He pulled me into a hug and kissed my forehead before he vanished. I had to fight the tears with all I could but when Dean came over and gave me a hug, I couldn't hold them back anymore. I calmed down as much as I could as we said goodbye to Bobby, even though we were just going back to his place. We all climbed in the impala and I laid down in the back, using Sam's jacket as a pillow. It was hard to let Cas go. I felt like I had just got him and he was gone in the blink of an eye. Sam and Dean didn't really know what to say so they let me just cry it out in the back seat, until I fell asleep.


	20. Chapter 20

It had been a week since we had gotten back to Bobby's. So far, we hadn't done much. Dean fixed up the Impala from the small beat up it had gotten in Kansas. Sam did research on alpha's since what came next in the story I knew was Crowley trying to break into Purgatory, and me I just helped out when I could, but mostly ended up just watching TV most days. I had prayed to Cas almost every night, telling him about my day, and how I hoped everything in heaven was going good. Some nights I couldn't bring myself to pray to him, it hurt too much. I know I told him it was okay to leave but it didn't make losing him any less painful.

I think part of me wished he would have stayed but I knew he had to do this. He couldn't just screw over heaven, his home, his family. It wasn't really fair to be mad at him but sometimes I was. Tonight was one of those nights I was feeling sorry for myself and I ended up crying myself to sleep. I didn't sleep long before I felt a hand shaking me and someone calling my name. I opened my eyes slowly and I saw Cas standing over me. "What... Cas?" I sat up a little and rubbed my eyes to make sure I wasn't hallucinating.

"Get dressed Emma." He said as he stood back up. He walked over to the closest and grabbed out a pink dress and threw it on the bed. "Let's go, we don't have all day."

"Just wait a second, what are you doing here Cas? It's two in the morning."

He sighed and shifted on his feet, getting irritated. "Can you please just get dressed and I will explain everything after."

"You know what Cas no. I'm tired, and I have to get up early cause Dean said we have a case. So I'm going back to sleep." I snapped. I started to lay back down and get comfortable when Cas threw off the comforter and picked me up and set me on my feet. His face was emotionless but I could tell he was done messing around. "Emma... Please." He said gently. I sighed and told him to turn around and I changed into the dress he got out for me. I grabbed some heels and threw them on. "So now that I'm dressed Mr. Pushy can you please tell me what's going on?" I asked crossing my arms.

He walked over to me, placed his hand on my shoulder, and zapped us away. I looked around and we were standing in a park. I did a 360 and when I turned around, I saw the Eifel Tower standing tall just a few miles from us. I looked back at Cas confused, "Paris? What... What is going on?" I asked a huge smile on my face.

"You tell me all the time how you've want to go to Paris. Was I wrong?" He asked, tilting his head to the side.

"No, no. It's just... Why?"

"I thought you could use a... 'break from life' as you call it. I wanted to give you a good day, one where you wouldn't need to cry."

I looked back at the Eifel Tower and I couldn't help but smile bigger. "That's really sweet Cas, but what about heaven?" I asked looking back at him, "I thought the whole civil war thing was happening."

"It is, but you needed me Emma. So here I am." He said. I sighed and took a seat on a bench that was a few feet away. Cas followed and took a seat next to me. "I never asked you to come Cas, I understand that you need to be there. I know sometimes that I get... Sad... But I really do understand Cas."

"I know you do. I missed you though, I wanted to see you."

I couldn't do anything but smile. "So how is your whole civil war going?" I asked looking over at Cas. He kept his stare straight, staring into a crowd of people. "I don't think we should discuss that now." He said standing up, "Come on, let's walk."

I got up and we started to walk toward the Eifel Tower. "Why have you been so sad?" He asked, as we pushed through a group of people. I looked over him and I wanted to explain to him but nothing came out, I don't think I could have explained it anyway. "I guess simply... I just miss you." I shrugged. He didn't speak after that. We made our way to the Eifel tower and took the elevator up to the highest point. I walked over to the edge and looked down across the city. It was amazing.

One day I wanted to see all of Paris, I knew right now we only had a few hours until I had to be back, before Dean would noticed, so I wouldn't get to see much. I didn't really care how much I got to see at this moment it was just so beautiful and I couldn't believe I was even here. Cas grabbed my wrist and turned me to face him. "Emma I need to speak to you about something."

"Okay," I grimaced, "What is it?" My mind was running in a million different ways, and sadly, not one of them was good. Maybe this was goodbye. Maybe this was supposed to be some type of great last day. I really didn't want to hear what he was going to say but I couldn't exactly run away. He grabbed my hand and looked down at it, his face seemed a little sad. "I am going to leave heaven."

I just stared at him confused, his eyes still not meeting mine. "Leaving heaven? What does that mean?"

"It means I am going to be with you, with Sam and Dean."

"What about Raphael? The civil war or whatever?"

"I will find another way to defeat Raphael. I don't want to make the same choices, and I don't want to be away from you." He said, squeezing my hand a little. I didn't know what to say, thank you? Great? I knew he belonged in heaven, not on Earth trying to fix things, it wouldn't get anything done. "Cas... I think that is really... Great and all, but don't you think it's going to be a little hard to do all this from Earth? I think you should be in heaven."

"Do you not want me to stay down here with you?"

"No Cas I do, I promise I do, but I know you need to do what is right, and what is right is being up there." I said giving him a small smile. He pulled his hand away and looked out over the city. I wanted him to stay more than anything but I couldn't ask him to do that. He reached into his pocket and pulled out something small and silver. He grabbed my hand and opened it, placing it in my hand. I looked down and in my hand sat a necklace. It was angel wings with a diamond in the middle. "I want you to wear this. I want it to remind you that no matter where we are, or how far apart we may be, I'm always with you, always going to watch over you."

He grabbed the necklace and put it around my neck. I looked down at the wings and couldn't help but smile. "Cas..."

"Don't ever take it off okay." He cut me off, "It is enchanted, it also protects your thoughts, and so no angel can get into them while you are wearing it." He grabbed my arm and pulled me into a tight a hug.

"You know it's weird seeing you be all romantic... In the show, you never did anything like this; I don't think you ever even thought about it. I mean sure you liked Dean but, I mean you saw, you know what I mean. It takes years to even get to where you were."

"I do. I'm not sure why, but the day I met you my life changed... The way you make me feel it's hard to explain... Something inside me is so drawn to you... You're special Emma." He smiled and placed his hand behind my head and pulled me to him.

I don't think that I would ever get used to kissing Cas. Every time I was sure that my heart was going to pound out of my chest, my stomach always dropped, it was crazy. I've kissed guys before but not once had it ever felt like this. I pulled away and looked up at him with a huge smile. "Thank you Cas."

"For what?"

"For the necklace, for taking me to Paris, for everything."

He gave me a small smile and nodded. "I would do anything for you Emma."

I grabbed Cas's hand and we took the elevator down to the ground level, and I lead our way around the city. Cas never let go of my hand as we walked down the road. I had a smile plastered on my face the whole time. It was beautiful, the buildings, the people, I wanted to live here. We walked around most of the city, stopping on bridges, going in stores, if I had money I would have a million more dresses and shoes to add to my wardrobe. After 3 hours of walking around the city, and gawking at everything I had seen, I finally decided to give my legs a rest. I took a seat on a bench, overlooking the river, Cas taking a seat next to me.

I laid my head on Cas shoulder and let out a sigh, "I think I'm going to leave hunting and just move here. Screw life." I laughed keeping my eyes on the water. When Cas didn't say anything I sat up and looked over at him. His face was emotionless, and he was just staring off in the distance. "Cas? I was just joking, no need for the silent treatment."

"Dean is looking for you." He stated, his eyes locking on mine. I rolled my eyes and let out a sigh. I didn't want to go back, I didn't want this day to end, but I knew I had to go back. "I'm sorry, I know this must be upsetting for you." He said, his gaze still on me. I shrugged and looked out at the water.

"I'm going to look at it as, I got to go to the most amazing city in the world, with the most amazing guy in the world, even if for only a few hours, it was the greatest few hours of my life." I said with a smile, "And not to mention I got jewelry…" I laughed and winked at him. He gave me a smile as he bent down to gave me a kiss.

"We should get going Emma. Dean is very worried." He said as he stood. He placed his hand on my shoulder and zapped us back to Bobby's. Everyone was in the living room, when we zapped back in. Dean was pacing, fuming with anger, and I knew I was about to get it. "What the hell Emma?" Dean yelled the second he laid his eyes on me.

"I just went out with Cas for a while."

"Just went out with Cas… Right. In the middle of the freakin' night?" He screamed. I would have thought after constantly being yelled at by Dean that maybe he would become less scary, but he never did. Sometimes I swore he was going to just rip my head off and bury my body in the back yard. I wondered why he got so crazy sometimes, I know he sees me as a little sister but he doesn't even yell at Sam like this. He wasn't my father, and even my father never yelled at me like this.

"Dean chill out okay? I was with Cas, it's really not that big of a deal!"

"Not that big of a deal? What would have happened if another angel had gotten to you? Or a demon? Like it or not you are part of this now Emma, you don't get to just back out."

"I wasn't backing out! I went out for a little bit… Sorry I didn't wake you up and ask first, Dad."

"Okay, I think we all just need to calm down here." Sam said taking a step so he was next to me. "Emma is back now, and she is sorry and it's all good. Can we just get on the road and forget this?"

Dean scoffed and shook his head before stomping his way up the stairs. I loved Dean with all my heart but I was so sick of him treating me like a child, he had only known me a few months, he had no right. "Emma, I think you need to understand where he is coming from." Sam said gently as we took a seat on the couch.

"I understand he needs to calm down."

"You don't get it. You are part of this family now Emma, so we are all going to worry about you. Yeah maybe it's only been a few months but it feels like years." Sam shrugged, "And when Dean cares about someone he gives them everything he has. We tend to lose everyone we care about sooner than later, so you have to forgive Dean when he gets a little Nazi. If anything happened to you, Dean would never forgive himself. I wouldn't either. So just, try to bare with him okay? He means well."

I sighed and nodded, getting up, "I'm going to go pack." I said and I made my way up the stairs, I walked to Deans room and stopped outside, contemplating if I should say anything or let him calm down a bit. I took a deep breath and knocked on the door, better now than later. Dean opened the door and rolled his eyes when he saw me. He didn't say anything just went back to throwing stuff in his bag. I walked in and closed the door, leaning my back against it.

"Dean, I'm sorry okay? I know you worry about me, and I guess I'm not used to it. I don't really think when Cas comes and whisks me away. I live in that moment and forget about hunting and monsters, I forget I have people back home that probably worry when I randomly vanish with out so much as a note, or a call and I'm sorry."

Dean sighed and stopped packing, looking over at me. "I get where you're coming from, trust me I do Emma, sometimes it's nice to just get out and forget about all the shit we have to deal with. Just… next time let me know before you just leave so I don't think I need to go on a killing spree."

I smiled and ran over to him and gave him a hug. He hesitated for a second but he hugged me back. "So did Casanova down there give you that?" Dean asked nodding to my necklace.

"Yeah, he did." I nodded, a smile on my face. "It's enchanted or whatever. It has a spell on it that keeps angels out my head."

"Well that's useful." Dean laughed giving me a smile, "Go pack, we gotta hit the road. We have a 10 hour drive."

I nodded and walked to my room, finding Cas who was sitting on my bed staring at the wall. "I thought you were going back to heaven." I asked as I pulled out my bags from the closet and started tossing clothes inside.

"I told you I was leaving heaven. I'm staying with you."

I looked over at Cas with a smile and continued to pack my bags not saying anything. "However, I must leave for a few days so I can locate Balthazar before Raphael learns he is alive and that he possesses powerful weapons." Cas stood up and came over to me, pulling me into a hug.

"Be careful." I said looking up at him. He bent down and gave me a kiss, a smile on his face. "I will be back in a few days." He nodded and vanished, leaving me alone in my room. I sighed and finished packing everything, carrying it down the impala. Sam and Dean were already waiting for me, leaning against the car talking. Once I threw my stuff in the back, we all climbed in the car and started for Montana.


	21. Chapter 21

I opened the door to our motel room, and we all set our stuff down. Sam didn't waste anytime pulling his laptop out and doing a little research since Dean wanted to take a shower before they headed off to look at the bodies. One of these days I swore I was going to get to play F.B.I with them, but Dean said I had to "not look like I just got out of high school" first. I sat down across from Sam and Dean locked himself in the bathroom, taking a shower.

"So what do you know so far?" I asked grabbing the pen and notepad that sat on the table and started doodling. "Six girls in seven days, which is more disappearance than this city has seen in over a year… all about the same age." Sam said, his eyes not leaving his computer screen.

"So what do you think it is? Vampire? Werewolf?"

"Not sure yet. We'll know more once we go by some of the victims houses."

"So what am I supposed to do while you guys are off playing feds? I can't just sit here." I sighed setting the pen down. Sam closed his laptop and stood, shrugging. "Do some research? We still need to find the alphas that Crowley is after, before he can break into purgatory." Sam started to undress and get into his F.B.I uniform and I turned to look at the wall.

"I don't want to do research, I want to hunt. You're the research guy, not me."

"Well you can help us after we talk to the families. Just be patient. It's one day locked up in here." Sam laughed. I looked back over at him when I heard him zip his bag back up. Dean walked out of the bathroom; already dressed in his F.B.I uniform, and walked over to his duffel bag, pulling out a gun. He walked over and handed it to me, a stern look on his face. "Remember, if anything happens, shoot first, ask questions later."

"Yeah yeah, I got it." I rolled my eyes and set the gun down on the table. I know Dean didn't like giving me a gun, because I wasn't that great at aiming. He tried to teach me a few times but I almost feel like it actually made me worse. Sam and Dean gave me a hug and left to go off and interrogate the families and I just sat at the table staring at the wall. I pulled over Sam's laptop and opened it, going through his recent searches. I found an article on one of the girls who went missing and I suddenly had an idea. It was either going to work or it wasn't but I refused to sit here all I day.

I changed into black pants and a very dressy white blouse and pulled my hair into a tight bun. I wrote down the girls address that Sam had gotten, grabbed my gun, and ran out the door. The girl's house was only a few blocks from the motel so it didn't take long to walk there. I walked up, knocking on the door and older gentleman answered. "Can I help you?" He asked, his face very sad.

"Hello Mr. Green, I'm Agent Dunham with the F.B.I," I said flashing a fake badge I had picked up at the dollar store on the way here, "I would like to ask you a few questions regarding your daughter..." Surprisingly he let me in, not questioning if I was really F.B.I or not. "So what is this about?" He asked taking a seat on his couch.

"Well I just wanted to ask a few questions on Kristin. What type of girl she was, if she had ever gotten into any trouble, and if it's not to much, I'd like to look at her room." I stated. I tried to act like Olivia Dunham from Fringe, thinking the way she would handle this if she were here right now. She was the most badass F.B.I chick ever, if only she lived in Sam and Dean's universe, I would love to meet her.

He sighed looking me up and down before leaning back and rubbing the back of his neck. "Kristin's a good kid. A little naive, sure… do you have kids Agent Dunham?" I shook my head and he continued, "You try to be a good parent. Girls are hard." He shrugged.

"I understand sir, really. We just want nothing but to find your daughter." I said nodding. He paused for a minute before standing up.

"Last door on the left." He said motioning to upstairs, I nodded and thanked him before making my way up the stairs. I opened the door to Kristin's room and flipped on the light. The walls were painted deep red and covered with vampire posters. Her room was accessorized with gothic things everywhere, even vampire pillows. I closed the door and there was a cardboard cut out of Edward from twilight on the back and I just laughed. He wasn't even hot.

I started going through her room, papers, everything. When I looked on her bed, I found a laptop hidden under her pillows. I set it on the desk and turned on the laptop. A screeching noise and a vampire popped up on the screen and I about peed myself. After I caught my breath, I started pressing keys trying to get into the laptop when a box asking for a password came up. I tried everything I could think of to get into the laptop but it rejected every password I tried. I sat back and looked around the room.

Something about this was familiar but I couldn't pin point it. It was probably an episode I had skipped a few times because it didn't interest me and now I couldn't remember exactly what went down. I looked over at the door and suddenly it hit me. Robert Pattison. He was ligit everywhere. I typed it in and finally I got into the laptop. I searched through all her emails, Facebook, and twitter until I came across a message from some guy claiming he was a vampire. I kept reading until I found where he wanted to meet her, The Black Rose.

I closed the laptop, picking up the pillows I had thrown on the floor and made my way back downstairs. I told her father I had a lead and I would inform him if any new information came up. I walked back to the hotel and looked up the Black Rose on Sam's computer. It was a bar, maybe a good 20 minute walk from here, it wouldn't be too bad. I walked over to my duffel back and pulled out a little black dress, just perfect for this occasion. When I had bought it, I didn't know when I would ever wear it, but it was too cute to pass up. I threw it on, pulled my hair out of the bun it had been it, and put on some make up.

A half an hour later, I was finally ready and started walking toward the nightclub. It was already eight at night now, so I was sure the bar was going to be busy. When I walked in, I the place was crawling with weirdo gothic people. I started to walk over to the bar when I noticed Sam and Dean sitting there looking around. I quickly spun around and made my way out of the bar. I couldn't afford for them to catch me.

I decided to just wait outside and watch for anyone suspicious to walk by. I started to walk down the alleyway when I saw a boy and girl making out. I rolled my eyes until I saw he was about to take a bite into her neck and I freaked out, hitting the guy on the back of his head with my gun. "Hey!" He screamed turning around.

"Leave." I said looking at the girl and she didn't hesitate to run. I pointed the gun at the boy and he backed up into the wall. "Wait, what… what the hell are you doing?" He shouted, babbling a bit.

"Shut up!" I yelled. My heart was pounding and I was terrified but he was a bitch vampire I was sure I could take him. He started breathing heavy and took the fake fangs he had in his mouth out and started freaking out. "Look you can take all my money, I don't care just please don't kill me." He yelled, pulling out his wallet and throwing it on the ground.

"Those are fake?" I asked lowering my gun a little.

"Yeah… I do it to get laid." He shrugged

I sighed and picked up his wallet handing it to him. He hesitated before taking it from me. "Get out of here… and no more biting on chicks, okay. It's not cute." He nodded and ran down the alley way and out of sight. I felt so bad I had just held some random kid at gunpoint, there really needed to be a better way to spot vampires. I started to walk away when I heard a noise. "You're pretty." A voice said from somewhere behind me.

I turned around and looked but I didn't see anyone. I was about to turn around again when a man walked out from the shadows. He had huge curly hair, a little short, but he had muscles. Then it hit me. I remembered this episode, and I remembered him. "I said… you're pretty." He said again slowly walking towards me. I had to do everything I could to not just scream bloody murder and run. Maybe if I acted as if I didn't know he was a vampire this would be so much easier. I knew I couldn't take him. I had to go get Sam and Dean.

"Uh… Thank you." I said, my voice a little shaky. "Well, uh… nice meeting you but I have to uh… pee… so uh yeah. Bye." I stuttered, turning around. He grabbed me and threw me into the dumpster, and I was almost sure he cracked my skull. I looked up and I was seeing double. I could make out the outline of the man slowly walking over to me. I grabbed my gun and started shooting but with double vision, I was a worse shot than normal. He picked me up and pinned me to the wall, both hands above my head. I kicked him in the groin and that only made him madder.

He bent down and licked the side on my neck, letting out a small laugh. "Ugh get off me, you creep!" I shouted and kicked him again. He lifted his head and his face was fuming red. He bit into his wrist and started smearing his blood all over my mouth. I tried my hardest to keep my mouth closed but when he kneed me in the stomach, I couldn't fight it anymore, and I started to taste his blood.

I heard shouting as I hit the ground. The man turned his attention down the alleyway, I looked over and saw people running towards us, but the vampire bailed before they even got close. I felt arms wrap around me and sit me up. "Emma! Emma! Can you hear me?" I heard Dean yell. I tried to mumble something but I started to slip in and out of consciousness. I felt Dean pick me up before everything just went black.

* * *

When I woke up, I was back at our motel room, laying in one of the beds. I sat up and Dean took no time, rushing over to me. "Emma, are you okay? How are you feeling?" Dean asked grabbing my chin and looking me up and down. I pulled my head away and stood up, squinting my eyes. I grabbed my head, almost falling over from all the noise in the room. I felt like I had a really bad hangover and someone was blasting screamo music in my ear. "Oh my god, what is that sound!" I shouted accidently knocking over the lamp. Dean grabbed my shoulders to steady me, looking me in my eyes.

"Emma, you should sit down." He said trying to get me to the bed. "You sit down!" I shouted as I took a seat on the edge of the bed and cradled my head. "I should have remembered this stupid episode, uh… I don't want to die." I cried, staring at the floor.

"Hey listen to me, no one is dying!" Dean yelled sitting next to me.

"Please for the love of Chuck shut off those damn lights!" I yelled and Sam hurried to turn them off. "So wait you said this was an episode, so you know what is suppose to happen?" Sam asked pulling a chair up in front of me and taking a seat.

"Kind of. At first, I didn't remember but when I saw that vampire, I remembered him. He is like creating an army of vampires or something, this has to do with the alpha vamp, but I don't remember what. I am confused though because this technically isn't suppose to happen until a year from now."

"A year from now? You're sure?" Sam asked

"Yeah, positive." I nodded, "Dean was supposed to be with Lisa for a year while you were running around without a soul. Technically, we are in between season 5 and season 6 so Samuel would be running around with you Sam. This episode, this thing that happened tonight is not suppose to happen until a year from now."

"We will worry about that later. What were you even doing there Emma? We told you to stay in the hotel." Dean asked handing me some water. I took a sip and placed it back down on the nightstand looking over at Dean. "I didn't want to just sit around. I wanted to help. I went to one of the victim's houses and found that she was supposed to meet some guy at that bar. So I went to go check it out. One thing lead to another and here we are." I shrugged. Dean sighed and got up and went to the bathroom, coming back with a wet cloth handing it to me, so I could wipe the blood off my face.

"So what the hell are we suppose to do now? We can't just let her become a vampire." Dean said irritably, looking over to Sam. "There is a spell or potion or whatever, that can fix me." I said looking up at dean.

"Seriously! Great what is it?" He asked sitting back down next to me.

"Beats me." I shrugged, "I just know we have to get blood from the vampire that turned me and I can't drink human blood."

"Well great." Dean huffed. Suddenly there was a knock on the door and Sam jumped up, gun in his hand, standing in front of me. Dean looked over at Sam as he got up and slowly opened the door, and Bobby was standing there. Sam and Dean relaxed a little bit and Bobby came rushing through the door a book in his hands. "Hey Bobby that was pretty fast." Sam said giving him a hug.

"You'll be surprised how fast I can drive when one of you idjits decide they want to go on a suicide mission." He snapped, looking at me, he took a seat at the table and opened the book. "Ok so I found somethin, a cure in one of Rufus's old books he gave me. No one has tried it since god knows, but from what I hear… this stuff is a bad trip."

"I already knew that." I snapped, trying not to bite his head off. "Hey… You watch your tone with me young lady, I don't care if you are a vampire," Bobby yelled, giving me a stern look. "The cure is good… but this is all on you Emma. You drink, you're done. It won't work... I'm talking one drop of human blood—"

"I got it Bobby!"

"Do you? Because you will feed. It's a matter of time." Bobby yelled, closing the book.

"What else do we need?" Dean chimed in, his voice irritated. "Some stuff we got, some we gotta get. Trickiest thing on the list… blood of the fang that turned ya." Bobby replied.

"That guy was huge!" Sam yelled, pacing the room. Dean sighed and looked over at him before taking a seat next to me. "We'll there's nothing in the recipe about 'easy'" Bobby sighed. I rested my head in my hands, trying to breathe. My head was killing me. All the noises, it wasn't getting any easier.

"Well we need to find this guy. We've been looking but we haven't gotten the slightest clue." Dean said leaning forward. He passed me a worried glance before sighing and standing up. No one could seem to sit still. They were all freaking out like fish out of water. "He is like a few miles outside of town. I can smell him." I chimed in finally after I was done hearing about finding the guy. "Look I'll go there, just do what you were originally supposed to do, take out all the vampires, and get the guy's blood." I said looking at dean.

"Oh like hell you are! You can't take on those vamps Emma. You're not ready." Dean yelled. I rolled me eyes and got up crossing my arms. "I'm a vampire now… I have like super strength I think I can manage."

"No Dean's right. They got years on you, they also have human blood in 'em, they are gonna be stronger than you." Bobby replied, shaking his head.

"How about, we go in together." Dean said glancing over at Sam, who nodded, and then looking back to me. I sighed and glared at Dean, his face pleading, he reached into one of the duffel bags and pulled out a machete, handing it to me. I stared at it for a second before taking it and nodding. "Together then."


	22. Chapter 22

**Hey guys sorry it has taken me so long to update. I just moved and didn't have any internet. **

**Any who I hope you guys enjoy and sorry for the wait. Thanks again for all the favs/follows :)**

* * *

We pulled up to an abandoned warehouse a few miles outside of town, and from what we could tell there seemed to be no one here. "Are you sure this is the right place?" Dean asked opening up the trunk. I rolled my eyes and sighed leaning up against the car. "Yes Dean I'm sure." I snapped crossing my arms. Dean shot me a look and continued to get weapons out of the trunk.

"Okay so you got the plan right?" Sam asked as he handed me a syringe of dead mans blood, and a machete. I stuffed them in my jacket and nodded.

"Go in, pretend to want to join them, go on a killing spree. Yeah I got it."

"Hey, turn down the attitude blondie." Dean snapped walking over. I rolled my eyes and paused for a second before knocking out both Sam and Dean. I couldn't let them go in there, it wasn't safe. From what I remember there were probably 50 or more vampires in here. I made my way into the warehouse and started to walk down the hallway when a man suddenly blocked my way, a smile on his face. "Well hey there hot stuff. What can I do for you?"

"Uh, hey… I'm—"

"The chick that Boris turned outside the bar, right? He said to keep an eye out for you. I'm Robert." He smiled and waved to follow him. "I have to say, you're very collected for a newborn. Most girls we turn have to be locked up until they learn to cooperate."

"Guess I got lucky then." I said, stopping behind him. He opened up a fridge full of blood bags. He pulled out two and handed one out to me. "Oh no thanks, I killed a lot of people on the way over here." I said, taking a step back. I had to do everything I could not to rip the bag from his hands.

"Yeah, uh, about that… Company line is we… we don't just kill people anymore… but you gotta tell me what that's like."

"Yeah… first chance I get… I'll show you myself." I smiled. He gave a small smile back before ripping the stopper off the bag and drinking the blood. The second I smelt it I thought I was going to lose all control, but I had to breathe. I couldn't drink, not one drop. Robert led the way through more hallways and down a flight of stairs through a crowd of vampires. One of them grabbed my arm and swung me around, a huge smile on his face. "Hey there, where do you think your going?" He asked, as his grip tightened. "I haven't seen you around here before."

"Mark! She is a recruiter. Not a newbie." Robert said prying his hand off me. The man scoffed and Robert grabbed my hand leading me down the staircase as fast as he could. "Sorry about that, most of the recruiters get touchy. They get to bang all the chicks and well, they think ever girl is their property."

I just nodded, unable to speak. I followed him to a huge open room with cages lined against the walls, girls trapped inside. There was a desk in the middle of the room, with a laptop and a girl who seemed familiar operating it. Boris stood over her watching her every move until we walked closer and his eyes locked on mine, a huge smile forming on his face.

"Go get yourself some blood sweetheart. Then march that little ass right back here okay?" Boris snapped, his gaze moving to the girl. She stood up and gave me a pleading look before making her way up the stairs we just came from. He walked around the desk and stopped in front of me his smile widening. "I'm surprised you got away. What happened to your two little boy toy hunters? I thought they would have killed you."

"Nope, killed them. I was hungry." I smirked, trying not to go and cry in the corner.

"I'm surprised at how… controlled you are." He said, walking around me, looking me up and down. I looked over at the cages, filled with girls, squirming, and snarling, some even crying. I may have seemed controlled but inside I was no better than those girls.

"Is that what the cages are for?"

"Yeah, but you know, it's just until they are… compliant. Eventually these girls will go out, and they'll fetch me boys like you will, and around and around we go."

"Gotta say… I'm impressed, is this all you?" I asked as he leaned up against his desk. He let out a laugh and shook his head, "No, no, no, no… I just… implement y'know? Make sure you all fall in line." He replied, pointing to the ceiling, "It's his… our fathers."

"Your fathers?" I asked confused. If he was talking about God, I think he must be confused.

"Aren't you a curious one?" He smiled, cocking his head. I gave him a smile and shrugged, "You don't know the half of it."

He walked over to me and his hand found his way around my waist, pulling me close to him. "In due time. You… you want the private tour… don't you?" He asked smiling.

I had to do everything I could not to just vomit at that moment, but I nodded, trying to keep my cool. "Thought you would never ask." I smiled. Boris smiled and stepped away, motioning me to follow him. Once he turned his back, I grabbed the syringe out of my jacket, uncapping it. I raised it, ready to plunge into him, when he suddenly turned around and grabbed my arm. He twisted my arm around my back breaking some bones. "Are you playing games with me?" He asked. He kept twisting my arm until I let go of the syringe and he started laughing.

Suddenly I felt Boris let me go, and I started to hear whispers. Boris fell flat on his back, and the caged girls all started to do the same, dropping like flies it seemed. I reached for the syringe and plunged it into his chest before the whispers started getting louder and I fell to the ground with them. I closed my eyes and a bunch of visions started flashing through my mind. After a few minutes, they finally stopped and my head was pounding. I looked around and Boris was still on the ground, trying to get up. I slowly got up, my head still killing me, and pulled out the small machete Sam had given me.

I stood above him, machete ready, but I couldn't bring myself to kill him. "Do it, come on!" He yelled, smiling up at me. "You can't can you? You're pathetic."

He was right I was. I just had to do it, screw getting grossed out or thinking about the fact that I was about to chop some guys head off, vampire or not. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, raising the blade above my head. Boris was about to say something but was interrupted by my blade meeting his throat.

I felt arms wrap around me, and I turned around quickly finding a crowd of vampires behind me. "You shouldn't have done that sweetheart." a man said, swinging his arms at me. Some how, I had managed to fight off most of the vampires, all their heads pilling on the ground. Killing all these vampires was fueling something inside of me and I slowly started to feel like I was changing. Just as I cut the last head off the last vampire, I felt a hand on my arm. I swung my blade around, cutting the mans throat and stopped dead when I saw it was Bobby.

Bobby stumbled backwards and Sam caught him, helping him to the ground. "Bobby? Bobby, stay with me!" Sam yelled. He took off his shirt and held it up to Bobby's throat to stop the bleeding. "Emma, give me the blade." Dean said from beside me. He was walking towards me slowly, his hands up to show he wasn't going to hurt me.

"Dean! What do we do?" Sam asked, his voice breaking. I couldn't believe I just killed Bobby. If that wasn't bad enough, all I could think about was drinking his blood. It was taking all I had not to jump across the room and drink him dry. "Call Cas." Dean yelled not looking at his brother. Dean slowly reached his hand out to grab the blade, but I freaked out and almost cut up Dean too. I was such a monster. I heard wings fill the room and my heart dropped down into my stomach. I didn't want Cas to see me like this.

I watched as he healed Bobby, helping him to his feet. I relaxed a little knowing he was going to be okay, but I couldn't believe I almost killed him. I felt the tears start to pour out of my eyes, and my head was killing me I was so hungry. "Emma, you need to breathe. Just put down the blade okay. Bobby is fine. We are all fine you need breathe okay?" I heard Dean say as I closed my eyes. Dean started walking over to me again but I ran to other side of the room once more.

"I'm so sorry Bobby, this was never suppose to happen." I cried. I threw the blade down and Cas suddenly appeared in front of me, raising two fingers to my head and knocking me out.

I woke up probably an hour later, to find they had moved me back to our motel room. Bobby was in the process of making the cure, Sam and Dean were pacing the room, and Cas stood next to bed, staring down at me. "How are you feeling?" He asked as I sat up holding my head.

"Like death." I replied, swinging my legs over the bed and getting up. "Bobby, I'm so sorry I—"

"Don't get your panties in a wad princess. I'm fine. No harm done. Let just fix you up before we become dinner alright." He said giving me a small smile. I nodded, staring down at the ground. He may have said that but I don't think I could have felt any worse at this moment.

"If this works, it's not going to be some kiddy ride. I hope you know that." Bobby said, as he motioned me over. "Yeah I got it." I sighed taking a seat at the table with Bobby. He handed me the jar, and I could barely hold it in my hands it reeked so bad. "Bottoms up." Bobby said, closing the book he got the cure from.

I closed my eyes and started chugging the drink, doing my best not to spit it back out. I set the jar down on the table and wiped off my face. "Well?" Dean asked, fidgeting next me.

"Uh... I don't feel any different." I shrugged looking over at him, but when I turned my stomach starting doing somersaults and I barely made it to the wastebasket before I started to puke my guts up. A few minutes later, I sat back and lifted my head, looking around the room. Cas was by my side in a second, his hand against my back making sure I didn't fall over. I started to scream as I felt my fangs poking through my gums, and the room started to spin. I collapsed back into Cas, and my whole night started to play backwards through my head.

"Is it working?" Dean asked from somewhere in the room.

"Either that or she's dying." Bobby said. I opened my eyes a few minutes later, the pain had subsided, and I finally stopped screaming. Dean was kneeling in front of me and I was leaned up against Cas. "How you feeling? Do you feel… human?" Dean asked, concern written all over his face. I sat up and nodded, holding my head. Dean helped me to my feet, handing me a wet towel.

"So… were all human again then. Good." Dean said, his voice a little shaky. I went to bathroom and cleaned myself up, looking myself over in the mirror. I looked like I had died and come back a zombie, a hooker zombie at that considering I was still in my skimpy black dress. I took a shower and changed into a sweatshirt and shorts, putting my hair up in a bun. When I joined everyone back in the main room, I noticed Bobby had already taken off and Dean was nowhere to be found.

"Hey, how you feeling?" Sam asked, giving me a hug. I nodded and threw my dirty clothes in my duffel bag, taking a seat on the bed. "I feel as normal as I ever have, and let me just say, vampirism, not as awesome as it seems." I said crossing my legs, Sam let out a laugh and sat at the table pulling out his laptop. "So where is everyone?" I asked, as Cas came and took a seat next to me on the bed.

"Uh, Bobby went home, Jody called him for something, and Dean is out probably getting drunk." Sam answered eyeing Cas and I, "But I'm gonna go get us some food. Burger good with you?"

I nodded and he got up pulling on his jacket before making his way out of the motel room. I sighed and looked up at Cas, I could tell he was not happy right now. "Just spit it out Cas. Go ahead yell at me."

"I don't want to yell at you... I'm just happy your okay." He said not looking at me. I wish he would have just told me what was on his mind but he obviously didn't want to talk about it.

"So did you find Balthazar?" I asked, changing the subject.

"Yes, I convinced him to hide the weapons, and join my side if the time called for it." He stated, his eyes staying on the wall. I stared up at him and I could have almost gotten lost in his blue eyes. I wish I could know everything that he was thinking, read his mind. I wanted to know every little thing about him, "You're doing it again." He muttered, cutting off my train off thought. His eyes turned to meet mine, and I was pretty sure my heart stopped.

I looked away quickly, my cheeks turning red. Yeah Cas and me may have been on relationship type terms, but it still didn't mean I didn't get completely embarrassed when he catches me staring at him. "Sorry."

"How are you Emma?" He asked, cocking his head to side. I shrugged and sat up a little, playing with the end of my jacket sleeves, "I feel as good as I can I guess."

"I mean how do you feel mentally. What you went through today must be hard on you."

"I guess." I shrugged again. I wasn't expecting him to ask me that. "I mean, how am I supposed to be? I almost killed Bobby tonight. Sure, everyone is blowing it off but I know they are all a little scared now. Bobby went back home, Dean went out to get drunk, and Sam couldn't even stay in the room alone with me for 5 minutes. So I guess I'm back to being just some random girl that can help them."

Cas sighed, staring at the wall for a moment before moving his eyes back to me. "You're still family to them Emma."

"Right... Well I don't feel like it. Family doesn't almost kill each other." I sighed. For some reason Cas found that funny and actually started to... Laugh. I had never seen Cas laugh before. Maybe a chuckle here and there, but I don't ever remember actually seeing him laugh. Just watching him laugh made me smile so big my face started to hurt. "That wasn't meant to be funny Cas."

"I find it amusing considering our lives." He said through laughs finally recomposing himself. He grabbed my hand in his, a small smile on his face. "No family is perfect. My family has done nothing but slaughter each other. Therefore, I find it ironic when you say things like that. Yes, what happened was a bad accident but it was not you. It was the monster that consumed you. You are still family to them, if everything I had seen from you happened, and they still stuck together, then you almost killing Bobby will not alter their feelings."

"But they are blood."

"To quote… Family does not end in blood." He said.

I squeezed his hand and gave him a smile just as we heard someone trying to come through the door. The door swung open slowly, and Sam came through holding a few bags of food.

"Just making sure everyone has their clothes on." He joked, setting the backs on the table. I rolled my eyes at him and ran over, giving him a hug and grabbing the burger out of the bag. I inhaled the burger so fast, I almost puked halfway through. I didn't realize how hungry I had been after being a vampire for two days. We waited up until Dean came back and surprisingly he wasn't drunk. Sam went to bed the second he got back, apparently worn out from all that happened. "So where did you go?" I asked once dean came out from the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist.

I buried my head into a pillow while he got dressed for bed, waiting to hear an answer. "I just drove around, cleared my head." He shrugged as he crawled in the bed next to me. "So you're done sleeping with Sam now huh." He laughed getting comfortable.

I looked over at Sam, who was already fast asleep, half hanging off the bed. "I guess." I shrugged, laying down. "Dean, I'm so sorry about tonight. I never meant to hurt Bobby, I never meant for any of this to happen." I tried to fight back the tears but they started slowly breaking out and rolling down my cheeks. Dean pulled me close and I rested my head on his chest.

"Listen to me ok. No one blames you for what happen so stop blaming yourself. I know, it wasn't easy but we all gotta move on, and that includes you. I can't go lugging you around as dead weight again. Come on, you killed the freaking devil, death in dress remember. You can't go giving up on me now." He smiled wiping my tears away. "Get some sleep okay, you'll feel better tomorrow." He kissed my head and I gave him small smile before I turned over, closing my eyes. I guess he was right, but deep inside it still hurt, I still wanted to run away and hide, for now though, I was going to be strong.


	23. Chapter 23

When we got back to Bobby's, Dean was trying his hardest to just have a normal day. Almost like we were actually a family. Just one day, where we didn't worry about everything that was going on out in the world. Every one seemed so happy, acting like the last few days never happened. If only it was that easy for me. I couldn't get over what happen, I still couldn't believe I practically killed Bobby, the monster I became. Everyone says it wasn't me but whatever, it was.

However, I made my way through the day, smiling, laughing, and putting on a good face. Thankfully everyone bought it, even Cas who seemed like he wanted to be here less than me right now. I was happier than anything when the clock hit 10 and I could finally say I was going to bed. I had been trying since 7 but Dean would just get mad; telling me it was too early. I went up stairs to change, crawled in the bed, turned off the light, and just stared into the darkness.

I was hoping this sudden feeling of death I felt inside me wasn't going to last much longer, I wasn't going to be able to play this off forever. I closed my eyes and tried to get some sleep, thinking maybe that I could just get a few hours of something peaceful, but of course I was with the Winchesters now so a few hours of peace was like asking for a million dollars from a homeless person.

I heard a loud crash downstairs and yelling. I knew it was probably just Sam and Dean fighting again but I was not in the mood for this. I got up and threw on a sweatshirt before I made my way down stairs. "Dean, stop being so hard headed! We need to jump on this before it's too late and Crowley beats us." I heard Sam yell.

"I get that Sam, but we need to figure everything out first, we can't just go in blind!" Dean spat. I made my way over and lingered in the doorway watching them duke it out. "We have everything we need, Cas knows where to find the alpha vamp! Why are you so against this?" Sam yelled louder. He looked like he was ready to punch Dean out cold.

"Because whose to say that blood sucker doesn't just rip our heads off the second we get there? Why should he talk to us? Emma said all this shit isn't even suppose to happen until a year from now! We don't know what we will just walk right into. I'm not sayin we shouldn't go, I'm just saying wait."

"I agree with Dean." I chimed in, walking into the room a little bit, "I know you want to stop all of this Sam but I mean just running in there? Even you have to see that isn't smart Sam."

Sam gave me a look, and I knew he wasn't happy with waiting but he gave up anyway and went out back. Dean sighed and chased after him, following him out the back door. I looked between Bobby and Cas, who were just sitting on couch quietly keeping out of this. "Do you two think you can keep them quiet for just a few hours? I just want a few hours of sleep is that too much to ask?" I hissed. Cas sighed and made my way back up stairs before they had a chance to say anything.

I wasn't dealing with this, not tonight. I opened the door to my room and almost had a heart attack when I saw Crowley sitting on my bed. "Hello darling, long time no see." He said, standing up.

"Uh... What are you doing here?" I asked closing the door quietly and leaning up against it. He gave a little smirk that only lasted a second before his face went emotionless again. "Well there has been this nasty rumor going around that this little golden haired girl possesses certain... Knowledge about things she shouldn't. Future events and such. Now of course something like that would catch my eye in a second. So naturally I did some digging, and the things I have found... They are very interesting."

My heart suddenly dropped into my stomach at the way he said that. How did people even know about me, or know about what I knew. "Sound like an interesting story, but maybe you should go tell it to someone who cares."

"Oh but you should care Emma, since we both know that girl is you." He uttered, squinting his eyes at me, "Now we can do this one of two ways. You can simply, give me what I want, or I can take it. You're choice love."

I couldn't breathe. I didn't expect Crowley to do this but I guess in this time he was still a dick. Sometimes it's easy to forget that Crowley is supposed to be a bad guy. I turned around and tried to run but the door wouldn't open so I started to scream for Dean, Sam, anyone really.

"I guess we are going to play the pain game then." Crowley shrugged. I turned around and suddenly I was in an old looking hallway. The walls were covered with bricks and I could hear people screaming, laughing, an all out freak fest. "Welcome to hell darling. Follow me." He waved, walking down the hallway. I watched as he started walking away and I knew I couldn't follow him, I wasn't giving in.

I turned and ran as fast as I could the opposite direction as him. I turned down all the corners I came to; going left, going right but it was like a never ending maze. After a few minutes, Crowley appeared back in front of me, and he didn't look amused. "Running is pointless ducky. You can't get out of here unless you zap away, and last time I checked, you can't very well do that. So let's stop playing games shall we." He grabbed my arm and he zapped us to a tiny room with a cot sitting dead center.

The cot had straps; probably to subdue whatever torture victim he had planned for that day. There was a table sitting beside the cot, with all of his torture instruments laid out ready for use. "You can't do this!" I yelled backing away from him. He cocking his head to the side and squinted his eyes.

"Well you can always just hand over your memories." He replied, "I don't need all of them… just some."

"Like what... How to get into purgatory?" I asked. That seemed to peak his interest and I knew at that moment I probably shouldn't have mentioned that. I guess either way if he got into my brain he would have figured it out.

"That's just one of a few things. I mean come on Emma that would save everyone so much trouble. I wouldn't need to go after alphas trying to figure that little detail out, and you and the hardy boys wouldn't need to chase me down. Win win if you think about it."

He was so full of crap, sure let me just give him my memories so he can go screw the world over. "Screw you Crowley." I spat, which only made him smirk. He waved over two guys that appeared out of nowhere and they strapped me down to the cot. Crowley came over and picked up a knife, twisting it in his hand.

"You can't do this, you won't do this. You can't get into purgatory. It's suicide!" I screamed trying to get my arms free but it was no use.

"Never underestimate the King of Hell darling, I know a lot of swell tricks." He uttered, making a cut down my neck. "I don't want to have to do this, so why don't you just give me what I need,"

I was seriously about to get tortured, awesome. What was it with everyone in this world, torturing, stealing memories. I still don't understand how they even found out. I closed my eyes and felt the tears start to run down my cheeks. I couldn't give him what he wanted, no matter how bad this got. "Over my dead body." I muttered, looking up at Crowley through the tears.

"You're funeral." He shrugged as he plunged the knife into my side. At fist it was little things, like a cut here and a stab there but after a few hours of that not getting him any where he started to get more creative. Breaking bones, almost bleeding me dry. He just kept going and going, new things every hour. I wanted to give in, I wanted it all to stop, but how could I do that?

This was my home now; Dean and Sam were my family now. I was never going to see my mom or dad again. I was never going to get to sit in my room on tumblr or reading fanfiction. My biggest worry wasn't just wondering what I was going to do that day, or making sure to pay Netflix on time. Now I had to worry about demons, saving the world, angels. Gone were the normal days of sleeping into 2 in the afternoon.

I missed my old life, more than I could have put into words but I came to accept a while ago that this was my home, this was new family, and I had to do what I could to save that family. I couldn't be some dead weight girl like when I first started out with the Winchesters. If I died here at least Cas knew everything, he could help them. At least here, I knew there actually was a heaven, I knew that if I died there wasn't just blackness, and just knowing that made it easier to resist. Easier not to give in and easier to just let go.

After awhile, I couldn't handle the pain anymore and I must have blacked out. When I woke up, I was back in my bed at Bobby's house. I looked around the room confused, was it all just a nightmare? If so, that was the worst nightmare of my life. I got up and ran downstairs finding everyone in the kitchen. I ran up to Dean and almost knocked him over with a hug. "Whoa, you okay blondie?" He asked hugging me back.

"Yeah, I'm okay... Just really happy to be home." I beamed, hugging Sam. I made my way around the room, hugging everyone until I got to Cas, and I almost melted into his arms. I had to do everything I could not to just fall apart. It may have just been a dream but it was so real. Cas could see something was wrong so he dragged me back to my room, locking the door behind us.

"What happened Emma?" He asked softy pulling me back into a hug. I shook my head and the tears just started flowing out. "I just had a really bad dream that's all. But it was just a dream so it's okay." I replied looking up at him. He squeezed me tighter, his eyes never leaving mine, and even though he wasn't saying anything, he was somehow making me feel better. I wiped away my tears and got up on my tippy toes kissing his cheek. "Don't worry about it okay. I'm good." I smiled taking a step back.

"What was the dream about?" He asked as I took a seat on the bed. I patted the bed for him to join me, and he took a seat next to me after hesitating for a second. "Crowley. He kidnapped me and wanted my memories. He started torturing me once I wouldn't tell him things."

"Why would he kidnap you? How would he have even known about your memories?" He asked, turning his head to the side. I shrugged and scooted closer, resting my head on his shoulder. "I don't know, but he did. My mind is evil." I laughed, closing my eyes. I had just woken up but I felt like I could sleep for a million years.

"What did he want to know? Why would he even want your memories?"

"I'm not sure about everything he wanted but I made the stupid mistake of mentioning I knew how to get into purgatory." I shrugged sitting back up, "Other than that I'm not sure what he wanted out of there."

Cas just stared at the wall a good minute before turning to me with a concerned look on his face. "What if it was real? What of he got into your mind like Zachariah did."

"How could he have? For one I thought only angels could do that, and secondly I have this, remember." I said, my hand reaching up and touching my necklace. Cas looked down at it long and hard before looking back up at me. "Yes, but he is a demon. It will not work the same." He stated.

"Huh... But I thought only angels could dream walk or whatever."

"Crowley is the king of hell, he is a very powerful demon Emma. He can do things you couldn't imagine."

I looked down at my necklace for a second before letting it drop back on neck. I guess he was right. What if that did happen, that would mean Crowley would probably come back for me. "We need to keep the spell from him Emma. Crowley can not get his hand on it." Cas said looking back over at me. He really needed to tell me something I didn't know. "Maybe if I erase your memories, take them from you, then we wouldn't need to worry about Crowley coming after you. I could have those memories so he would need to come after me."

I stared at Cas in awe; I couldn't believe he just said that. "No Cas, you're not erasing my memories," I yelled. Why would he even want to do that, yeah it could be safer, and since he knew everything it really wouldn't have matter in a way, it's not like we would be losing the information.

"I'm just thinking of what's best for you Emma. If I know the spell to get into purgatory, that makes me target one. I just want to keep you safe." He said, his hand finding mine. I understood where he was coming from but I just couldn't. "I'm sorry Cas. I want my memories, even if it means I'm in danger."

"At least share them with me, so I can share this burden with you. Maybe even if I just retain the information, it would still take some of the load off. I could still make Crowley come for me. Not you"

I pulled my hand away and gave him a weird look. "Are you drunk or something?" I asked looking him up and down. Did he suddenly forget I gave him all my memories? "No. Please be reasonable about this. I just want to help you." He said gently reaching for my hand again. I stood up and moved away from him, something was wrong.

"Emma what's wrong?" He asked standing up with me.

"Your not Castiel. Who are you?" I asked backing up. Cas looked at me confused and a little hurt, I didn't understand what was going on, but Cas should have had my memories. "I am Castiel. Why would you think it wasn't me?"

I ran over to the door and ran downstairs looking for Sam and Dean. I had to let them know, if I could even convince them. I found Dean in the kitchen again and almost scared the crap out of him when I ran in. "Hey you okay?" Dean asked, grabbing my shoulders to steady me.

"Cas is not Cas. I don't know who or what he is but he isn't Cas." I said between breaths. Cas appeared next to us, his face still looked confused. "I am Castiel. Why do you keep saying that?" Cas said, his voice raising a little.

"Okay, let's everyone calm down a second. Emma, I promise this is Cas okay. Why wouldn't it be?" Dean asked looking between us.

"He wants my memories that's why. Just like Crowley did. He wants to know the spell to get into Purgatory."

"Crowley? What are you talking about?" He asked looking back at Cas. Cas sighed and relaxed a little but he still seemed extremely irritated. "She had a nightmare about Crowley torturing her for the spell to get into purgatory, so I simply offered to share that burden with her by sharing her memories or taking them completely. She seems to think after that I wasn't who I claim to be." Cas replied, staring at me.

"That's not a half bad idea Emma. If Crowley really is after your memories there's no tellin what lengths he would go to. At least Cas has a chance of keeping that stuff safe." Dean said crossing his arms and leaning against the counter. I stared at him in confusion, what was going on today. "You're not Dean either. Where are Cas and Dean?" I yelled taking a step back.

Dean sighed and pulled out ruby's knife from his jacket and plunged it into Castiel's back. Cas dropped like a fly and Dean turned his attention on me, "You're a lot harder to fool than I thought." He said wiping the blood off on his jeans. He came over to me and jammed the knife into my gut. I closed my eyes and pushed him away. This was not happening right now.

I turn and ran out the back door, looking for someone, anyone. Sam and Bobby had to be somewhere. I almost tripped when Dean appeared in front of me, stabbing me again in the stomach. "Just tell me the spell and this can all be over." Dean said grabbing my neck. He started to choke me to the point I almost black out, but when I opened my eyes again he was gone and I was back in the room I had been in before.

I never left. Crowley was just screwing with me, and I fell for it. I looked around the room and it seemed I was the only one here. It hurt to move just a centimeter. I looked down at myself and I couldn't find one inch of me that wasn't cut up and bleeding. I heard the sound of wings and Cas appeared In front of me, his face twisted with horror. "Emma!" He screamed running over to me. He lifted my face to look into his, and he looked over every inch of me.

"Cas! How did you find me?" I asked as he started to undue the straps on my legs.

"I'm an angel, I can find anyone. It was a little hard since you were in Hell but I will always come for you Emma." He said working on the second strap.

"But you put those symbols on my ribs. No angel can find me remember. Not even you." I said, looking down at him. Then it hit me, this wasn't Cas. Crowley was going to just keep screwing with me. Cas stood up and gave me a look before smiling. "I really need to do some more research don't I?" He said picking up a knife.

"How about I burn the memory of Castiel torturing you in your brain." He laughed jamming the knife into my chest and turning it. "Or you can just tell me what I want to know Emma. I have all the time in the world."

I screamed out in pain, almost passing out again. I looked up and tried to imagine someone else's face, anyone but Cas's face. When I didn't answer Cas picked up an orange pole and held it against my cheek. I could hear my skin sizzle under the pole, and I couldn't even scream at that. I just wanted him to kill me. I couldn't do this anymore. I just kept praying in my head for death with every cut, every stab, every burn, I just prayed for god, for anyone to put me out of my misery.


	24. Chapter 24

** Thanks for all the reviews, favs & follows guys! It makes me happy to know you all are enjoying the story so far :)**

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I wasn't sure how long I had been here, by now I had lost count of how many times I blacked out and woke up. How many times I thought I had been free only to find that I was right back in that tiny room, strapped the same cot, right where I had started. I wasn't sure how I hadn't died from starvation, or dehydration, but sadly I was still kicking it. When I woke up this time I found Crowley standing in front of me, talking with whatever demon was pretending to be Castiel.

I watched as Cas walked out of the room and Crowley came over, undoing all of my straps. I fell to the ground the second he did, not even able to try to catch myself. "Are you ready to tell me what I need to know?" He asked staring down at me. I just laid on the ground staring at the wall. I wasn't going to give him anything. "Well since torturing seems to not be having much of an effect on you we are going to try a different method."

I didn't even bother to look at him, I didn't care. He could do what ever he wanted I was never telling him what he wanted to know. Truthfully, I wasn't even sure exactly what needed to be done. All I knew is there needed to be an eclipse and you needed the blood of a native. Even if I wanted to he would have to go into my brain and get it himself, I didn't actually remember every detail. I looked up and saw two demons come over and help me to my feet so I was looking at Crowley.

I hated this Crowley I never expected torture from him. Even in the show, even with Kevin he never actually tortured him, I didn't even know who this Crowley was. Crowley nodded to the demons and we all zapped into what looked like an office in a normal house. The demons helped me sit in a chair before taking stand at the entrances. I guess they didn't need to bind me since I couldn't really do anything on my own. My legs were broken, I was practically cut into pieces, it's not as if I could have fought back if I wanted to.

"So here's how this is going to work. You are going to give me what I want, and I will let you return home to the Winchesters. I believe that's a fair deal."

"I'm not giving you anything… so why don't you just kill me." I muttered best I could. Crowley gave me a look and shook his head at me. "Emma, come on, don't be like that, I've enjoyed this time we've had together." He replied, "Any way this isn't a negotiation, so just try to sit still okay, this will hurt."

I just watched as he placed his hand on my stomach and started to chant. I felt this unbearable burning sensation flow through my whole body as I watched Crowley pull my soul out. It was blinding at first until the light slowly dimmed and it was a faint glow. Crowley shoved the little white ball of light into a jar and set it on the desk. "You took my soul... Why?" I asked staring at the light twist and swirl in the jar.

"We'll since you weren't going to share your memories with me, I took them." He shrugged, "Human souls hold everything. Emotions, memories, a conscience. All those pesky things humans have."

"But if it has my memories than why do I remember everything?" I asked, moving my eyes to Crowley. He was definitely right about the feelings though, I didn't feel anything. Not even pain.

"These are more like copies," he said holding up the jar and looking at it, "Every memory you've ever had is in here, which will give me exactly what I need."

"I want my soul back Crowley." I glared, I hated this feeling of nothingness I had inside. Crowley gave a little smirk before setting on the desk again. "Well I can't give it back before I get the information I need. I will need time, dissecting your soul, trying to pull out what I need, so you're going to have to wait ducky."

"I don't want to wait. What do you want to know?" I asked sitting up a little bit. I was surprised at how much more I could move now that I didn't feel the pain. Crowley gave a little smile before waving the demons at the doors away. He made sure all the doors were closed before stopping in front of me. "Since you offered, let's start with how to get into purgatory."

"You need the blood of a native and a virgin, you must wait until the night of the lunar eclipse to perform the spell."

Crowley seemed pleased as he reached over and handed me a note pad and a pen, instructing me to write the spell down. Without my soul, I seemed to remember everything, every little detail about every memory I had ever had. I could almost play it back like a movie. Once I wrote down the spell and drew the sigil, Crowley leaned back against his desk staring at me.

"Give me my soul back, I did what you asked."

Crowley picked up the jar and opened the top and the little white ball flew out floating the air, a half second later it found its way back to me, leaving me with the same burning sensation as when it left. I stared up at Crowley my eyes filling with tears. What had I just done, I told him everything to get into purgatory and I didn't even think twice about it.

Crowley pulled out a cell phone and tossed on to my lap; as he picked up the note pad that I had written everything on. "As I said, you get to go home to the hardy boys now. I think I have Moose's number in there somewhere." He said shoving the piece of paper in his jacket pocket, "It was pleasure doing business with you Emma." He said before he vanished.

I looked down at the phone sitting in my lap and just started crying. I didn't want to call them, how was I suppose to tell them that I broke? That I just handed over everything so willingly. They would never forgive me. I had to do something, call someone to help me. I was to injured to go off by myself just yet. I needed an angel though, what angel could I even call besides Cas?

Balthazar didn't know me, nor would he even care. I hated Anna, and Gadreel was still locked up in heaven. The only other angel I could think of was Gabriel, and why would he come. He was such a dick all the time, but I guess it couldn't hurt to try. I closed my eyes and prayed to Gabriel, telling him everything that happened. I was surprised when I heard the sound of wings fill the room, and Gabriel stood in front of me.

"Ew what happened to you?" He asked backing away a little. I gave him a look wiping the tears from my cheeks. "I just told you what happened... I'm surprised you even came." I said, looking up at him. He raised two fingers to my head and I that feeling of an ice bath rushed over me, but when I looked down, I was fine. All my bones back in place, no cuts, no burns, nothing.

"What can I say, you are kind of growing on me." He shrugged backing away again.

"You don't even know me, how can I grow you?" I asked standing up, I was so glad the pain was gone. "Thank you though, for coming and healing me."

"No problem, obviously my new occupation is taking care of ignorant little human girls." He smirked. "Although, I am intrigued as to why you didn't call your little angel boy toy. He's been looking every where for you."

I looked down at the ground, avoiding his eyes. Of course Cas has been looking for me, I'm not surprised, "How long have I been gone?" I asked finally looking up at him.

"6 months I think." He replied. 6 months, I've been gone 6 whole months. I mean sure it felt like an eternity but I still only thought it had been a few days. "I can take you back to the Winchesters. They are still out looking for you." Gabriel said gently. I looked up at him a little confused; so many people were different than I remembered on the show.

"Why are you so nice to me?"

Gabriel shrugged crossing his arms, a little smile on his face, "Lets just say… I'm invested in you."

"Invested in me? What does that even mean?" I asked, taken aback.

"I believe that when a certain time comes, you will be needed, and since I'm practically playing your angel assistant, you will owe me. It's always nice when people owe you favors." He replied, his smile growing bigger. Just what I wanted, to owe an archangel a favor.

"So home to the Winchesters then?" He asked standing up straight. He was about to place his hand on my shoulder when I back away. I hated the thought of owing him any more favors but I had to stop what I just started. "I need something first… before I go back."

Gabriel's face dropped, and I knew he wasn't to happy with what I just said, but if he really did want me to owe him favors then what I was going to ask what going to make me owe him for a life time. "I will owe you forever if you help me okay. Like I said when I prayed to you, I just told Crowley freaking everything on how to break into purgatory. I need help to stop him."

"I don't see how this is at all my problem. You made a mess sweetheart, not me."

"I thought you were invested in me, wanted me to owe you favors. If you didn't care than you wouldn't have come when I called." I pointed out crossing my arms.

"Invested in your safety. I can't very well get favors if you're dead now can I?"

"And if Crowley gets into purgatory I very well might die! He will let out leviathan, and truthfully, that does involve you because they kill hundreds of your brothers and sisters. If you want me alive, then you have to stop Crowley." I shouted. He stared at me a few second before shaking his head.

"Maybe when the time comes for it, but I don't like to get my hands dirty, and I don't want to get in the middle of a war. I left heaven for that very reason. Now, if you could just shut up so I can take you home, my show is about to come on."

Was he serious right now, a TV show was coming on? This guy was unbelievable. I guess in a way though I was stalling, I still didn't know if I wanted to go back to them. I mean sure I _wanted _to but I was so scared to tell them. I hated that I caused what we were trying so hard to prevent. I guess I had to be strong though. I caused it and now I needed to fix it, end of story.

I looked over at Gabriel and nodded. He placed his hand on my shoulder and he zapped us to a motel parking lot and I instantly noticed the impala parked a few feet away. "Room 114" Gabriel muttered before vanishing. "Thanks... I guess." I said to no one, even though I'm sure he heard it. I walked up the stairs and found my way to room 114, pausing right outside the door.

My heart was racing so fast, and I felt tears building up in my eyes. I seriously just needed to grow some balls. I had just been tortured for the past 6 months and I'm freaking afraid to knock on the door to my own family. I took a deep breath, knocking on the door quickly. After I knocked, part of me wanted to run away and hide around the corner like a child that played ding-dong ditch.

Dean swung open the door so fast I almost thought it was going to fly off its hinges. He stared at me for a second before I got a shower of what I'm assuming was holy water. I wiped my face off, a little annoyed, "I'm not a demon." I muttered, wiping my hands off on my shorts.

"Had to make sure" Dean shrugged. He grabbed me and pulled me into a hug, and I almost died. I had missed this so much. That amazing moment ended too soon, when he grabbed my arm and cut me. I pushed him away and backed up against the door. This wasn't happening right now.

"Sorry, I just needed to make sure you weren't a shape shifter. Too many people have been coming around pretending to be you." Dean said setting the knife down. I looked around the room and Sam was standing off the side ready to attack if I did. I didn't know what to believe after that. Sure, they did those test a lot but that didn't mean anything. What if I was still in that room and all of this was just in my head?

"Hey Cas, get your feathery ass back here! We got something." Dean yelled looking up at the ceiling. It didn't take but a second for Cas to appear next to Dean and gust of wind to fill the room. Cas stared at me for a second before a smile came on his face. "Is it really her Cas?" Dean asked looking back at him.

"It's her." Cas nodded, not moving his eyes away from me. He started to walk over to me but I picked up the knife that Dean had set on the table and backed up against the wall. "Stay away from me!" I screamed, trying to keep the tears back. Of course I wasn't out, why would I be, that would have just been too good.

"Emma calm down!" Sam yelled, his grip tightening on his knife.

"No you're not Cas or Dean or Sam. This is just another trick, and I can't believe I fell for it!" I screamed trying to fight back the tears. Dean looked over at Sam and Cas, a little concerned. Dean held up his hands defensively and started walking towards me. "It's really us Emma. I don't know what you've been going through the last few months but I swear, we are real."

"If your really Dean than... Than tell me, what did you make in the sixth grade?" I asked holding the knife tighter.

"Sixth grade? I made my first sawed off shotgun. Damn good one too." He smiled moving a little closer. I looked him up and down but I wasn't convinced yet. I had to ask something no stupid demon would know. "What did you tell Sam your father was, the first time he asked about monsters?" I asked.

Dean looked back at Sam for a second before moving his eyes back to me. "I told him I would kill him if he ever told dad I told him about monsters, and I also said our dad was a superhero. A superhero out fighting monsters."

I knew there was no way Crowley's demons knew that, they barely knew anything as it was those 6 months. I dropped the knife on the floor and ran straight into dean's arms. After that, I couldn't hold the tears back anymore. I may have been terrified to tell them everything but I was home, and that feeling of knowing for even just a second I was safe, that I was with my family, it just washed away every other feeling I had.

"Where have you been Emma? We looked everywhere for you. No one could find you, we even called Crowley." Sam said, finally relaxing and setting his knife down. I pulled away from Dean, wiping my eyes, looking over at Sam. "Crowley is the one that took me... He had in me hell." I said.

"Wait a damn minute, Crowley had you his whole god damn time! No wonder that bastard was so eager to help! It was because he was trying to lead us off him. Oh he is fucking dead!" Dean yelled, his fists clenching up.

"What did he want?" Sam asked, his voice getting rough. They both looked like they were ready to go on a massacre. "Well... He wanted to know how to get into purgatory, the spell. I mean I was able to resist him for 6 months, which I'm actually surprised because I thought I was only gone a few days." I shrugged.

"You resisted? How?" Dean asked in confusion. I guess they didn't expect me to last so long.

"I don't know I just did. He would play me most of the time; make me think I escaped when I didn't. Then he... He made a demon who looked like Cas torture me for the rest of the time."

Sam and Dean both looked at Cas, his face emotionless, "Well that explains why you went crazy when you got here. So how did you get out?" Sam asked, taking a seat at the table.

"He brought me out of hell, and told me since torturing wasn't doing the job, he was taking matters into his own hands, and well in short terms I gave him what he wanted and he let me go." I said, staring down at the ground. I didn't want to see any of their faces right now. I also didn't want to mention the whole soul thing. Maybe I would just bring that up later.

"It's not your fault Emma. We'll just have to stop him before he cracks purgatory." Dean said, his hand resting on my shoulder. I looked up at him and he had a small smile on his face. "I bet your starving though, I'm sure there wasn't anything good on the lunch menu down there, I would know. How about me and Sam go get some nice juicy burgers for you." Dean laughed, motioning over Sam.

Sam looked at him confused for a second before his eyes moved to Cas and he seemed to understand what Dean was pushing. I guess they wanted to give Cas and me some time alone. Sam grabbed his jacket and gave me a hug before they both headed out the door leaving Cas and me alone. Neither of us said anything for the first few seconds, we just stood there awkwardly.

I finally broke the silence when I walked over to Cas and hugged him the tightest I've probably ever hugged anyone. He wrapped his arms around me, almost breaking my back he hugged me back so tight, "I'm so sorry I couldn't find you Emma. I'm so sorry..." He muttered, burying his face in my hair.

"Don't you dare do that." I said backing away from him, "Don't you dare blame yourself."

"How can I not? I should be able to protect you, to find you." He said not looking at me. I grabbed his hand to make him took at me but he wouldn't turn his face. I guess I was too much to look at now. "Look at me please Cas..." I muttered, holding back tears. Maybe after 6 months he didn't feel like he did before.

"I can't look at you Emma!" He shouted, making me flinch. He sighed before finally moving his eyes to me, "Every time it look at you I see how much you went through. I see all the scars on your soul. Every time I look at you I see how many times you needed me and I wasn't there for you."

I lifted my hand up to his face and a small smile forming on mine. "Cas you were there for me remember." I said, my handing moving to my necklace, "This is what got me through everything. Knowing that, no matter how far apart we were you were still right there with me." I smiled.

Cas just stared down at me, his face so sad. "Please don't blame yourself, please. With Crowley playing all of you there's no way you could have found me. I'm back now though, and believe me when I say you really did get me through it."

Cas pulled me to him and bent down to kiss me, and it was so passionate, so fiery. His hand found its way tangled in my hair and my heart stopped. He had never kissed me like this before, it was so… rough. I was so happy he hadn't lost his feelings for me. I didn't know if I could handle that right now.

Cas had been my rock the last few months. Even though technically he was the one torturing me, I found a way to see it wasn't him. He kept me strong when I had no more strength left in me, and truthfully, I was in love with him.

I wasn't sure how long this kiss had been going on but it surely got awkward when Sam and Dean walked back into the room, and I was pushed up against a wall, Cas and me practically straddling each other. I pushed Cas away quickly, my cheeks turning red. Dean set the food on the table and crossed his arms looking over at Cas and me, a huge smile on his face. I looked away from him, my eyes trailing to the ground, I knew what that smile meant, and he was never going to let me live this one down.


	25. Chapter 25

After I ate and took a shower, it was already past midnight and Dean wanted to drive straight to Bobby's. So, we all climbed in the impala and drove 3 hours to Bobby's. As much as I hated car rides sometimes, for once I happy to be sitting in the car with everyone again. Sam and Dean were back to bickering over nothing, Cas just stared out the window the entire car ride and I couldn't help but watch everyone. As much pain as I had gone through recently, even though I had every reason in the world to be some depressed little girl, I couldn't do anything but be completely happy.

When we pulled up to Bobby's, he was already waiting outside for us. I wasn't even able to get out of the car before he pulled me into a back breaking hug. I had to fight to not just break down and cry again, I missed Bobby so much. He really had been like a father to me since I've gotten here. Yelling at Dean and Sam to leave me alone, making me food, teaching me things about hunting, he told me I was like the daughter he never knew he wanted.

After saying our hellos and getting all the hugs out of the way, I made my way upstairs to go to sleep. It was already 4 a.m and I could barely keep my eyes open. I was so happy though when I got to change clothes; I've been in the same clothes for what, 6 months now. I crawled into bed and got comfortable just as I heard a faint knock on the door. I sighed and got up, opening the door to find Cas standing there awkwardly.

"Can I help you?" I asked as he pushed his way past me into my room. He paused in the middle of the room for a second before turning back to me, his face emotionless as always. "I thought you were tired." He said squinting his eyes at me.

I sighed closing the door and making my way back over to the bed. "I am tired but it's a little hard to sleep when an angel comes knocking at your door."

Cas just stood there looking at anything that wasn't me, he was really bad at hiding things. "Cas what is this about? I would like to go to sleep."

"So sleep. I'm not leaving you alone to get kidnapped for a third time." He replied, his voice getting rough. I just stared at him for a second before shrugging and lying down.

"Well if you're going to be spending the night you might as well lay down." I smiled, motioning him to lie next to me. He stared at the bed, hesitating for a few minutes before finally laying next me. His whole body was tense and I could tell he was uncomfortable. I turned the light off and got comfortable, turning over to look at him.

"Cas, it's just a bed, it's not going to bite you." I laughed watching him shift every few seconds. He looked over at me concerned but didn't say anything, he was so weird. "Gosh Cas, I missed you so much." I giggled just watching him act all awkward. He finally turned over on his side to face me, relaxing a little bit.

"I'm still so sorry about everything Emma." He said looking down at bed. I didn't know how many times I was going to have to explain it wasn't his fault, he needed to just let it go.

"Stop it Cas—"

"No. It may not be a big deal to you, but it is to me. I'm an angel and I couldn't even protect the one thing I care most about."

"Cas..." I sighed, looking up at him. Maybe I would never get it, but neither would he. "I get that you are upset you couldn't find me but it's over and done with. I'm here and that's all that matters… All that matters is I'm here, and that I... I love... You."

I just stared at Cas waiting for him to say something, anything. The silence filling the room was starting to suffocate me. He still hadn't taken his eyes off the bed, he hadn't even moved an inch. Maybe I shouldn't have said it, maybe I just screwed over the one good thing I really had. I just wanted him to say something, I waited, waited for minutes, hours, it felt like days but he refused to look at me.

I didn't know what to do. I turned my back to him and closed my eyes, fighting back the tears. I was so stupid to think he loved me back. I ended up crying myself to sleep that night, the whole time Cas not five feet from me. I didn't know why he couldn't say anything, not even when I was crying. When I woke in the morning, I expected him to be gone but when I opened my eyes, he was right there, staring at me.

"Good morning." He said gently, not moving his eyes off me. I didn't say anything, I just turned to get out of bed but he caught my arm, turning me back over to face him. "You know I've spent hours contemplating the words to say to you. I know you're upset about last night and I must admit you caught me off guard, but there is a reason I cannot return that statement."

"Really... What reason could that be? I get it Cas, you don't feel that way, you're an angel it's not a big deal. Just drop it okay." I shrugged, looking away from him. He grabbed my chin and made me look at him a small smile on his face.

"The reason I cannot say those words is because this feeling, the feeling that you give me... There is no combination of words that can ever accurately capture even a sliver of what this feeling is."

I didn't know what to say to that. All I could do was stare at him wide eyed. He scooted closer to me and pressed his lips to mine before I could even utter out a reply. I hated the power that he had over me sometimes, the power that even when I was scolding mad at him, he could always make me just forget about everything. Forget every feeling, every thought I had. I was caught off guard when Cas started to really get in to the kiss, practically getting on top of me. If there hadn't been a knock on the door interrupting us, I truthfully don't think we would have ever stopped.

I wiggled my out from under Cas and got up, cracking the door just enough to peek out and see Dean. "I was wondering if you were alive in there. Get dressed we got places to be, monsters to kill." Dean snapped eyeing me up and down. "Make sure to bring your boy toy." He smirked before walking back down stairs.

I sighed closing the door and locking it before turning around to face Cas. He was already up out of the bed, standing there awkwardly staring at me. I walked over and wrapped my arms around him, resting my head on his chest. He kissed my head and hugged me back before I pulled away to get dressed. I threw on a flower corset dress, brushed my hair, and made my way down stairs, Cas right behind me.

When I walked into the living room, everyone was crowded around Bobby's desk, looking at some old book. Dean looked up as Cas and I walked in and flashed us a huge smile. "So was your night last night?" He joked standing up straight. If only he knew… "It was a normal night, full of sleep." I shrugged stopping next to Bobby and looking over his shoulder at the book they were reading.

"Whatcha guys reading?" I asked, trying to read the book but it was in some different language.

"Purgatory. We think there might be a way to seal it. For good." Sam said taking a drink of water. Sealing purgatory that would be nice. "Can you really do that? I mean where would the monsters go then?" I asked taking a seat on the couch.

"They would probably remain in the veil or cease to exist. There wouldn't really be a way to tell." Cas chimed in, taking a seat next to me. "Well we gotta do something, we can't just let Crowley get all these souls. Who knows will happen then." Dean said pacing the room. It would be horrible for Crowley to get these souls. He would to way powerful for any of us to take him on.

I wish that Crowley here were like Crowley in the show, and not some evil sadistic Demon lord who only cared about himself. I didn't like this Crowley. "Well he can't break into purgatory until an eclipse and that's still a month or so away so we got some time to figure this out but not much." Bobby uttered closing the book. "I'll dig up what I can on purgatory and you guys go deal with this monster business in Virginia. Ellen and Jo are already on there way over there."

"What is going on in Virginia?" I asked confused. Dean exchanged a look with Sam and Cas before finally looking to me. "Just some… ghosts, but you're going to be staying here with Bobby. He's gonna need some help researching."

"I'm not staying behind!" I yelled getting up. They were not seriously about to abandon me.

"We will back in a few days, you just got back from 6 months of hell I think you need to just take it easy." Dean snapped back at me. Take it easy; the fact that I had been in hell, all by myself for the last six months should have been reason enough for me to go with them.

"You are not leaving me behind Dean! I don't care what you say! I'm going." I yelled walking over to him. I was so mad I could have punched his stupid face in. "No you're not! I will lock you in that panic room if I have to, but you are not coming." He said roughly. Obviously yelling at him wasn't getting me anywhere, so I closed my eyes and forced myself to cry and sure enough tears came streaming down my face.

"Please Dean, I want to go with you guys. I have been alone for 6 months, I've missed you, I missed all of it, please don't leave me behind." I cried, making my voice sound shaky. I know it was a low blow to act like this but I didn't care, he was not leaving me behind. He stared at me for a second before finally giving in. He pulled me in a hug and tried to get me to stop crying. I actually had to try not to smile so I wouldn't give away it was all fake, but I managed and I ran up stairs to go pack.

I heard wings fill the room and I already knew it was Cas. He took a seat on the bed as I finished packing, throwing as much stuff as I could in my bags. I threw on a jacket and Cas helped me carry my bags down to the car, Dean gave me a disapproving look when we walked outside with three bags but he didn't say anything and we threw them in the trunk.

I wasn't looking forward to the 19 hour drive it was going to take to get to Luray, but I kept my self busy by playing games with Cas. Surprisingly getting him to grasp the concept of eye spy was a lot harder than I expected it to be. It was two in the morning when we finally got to Luray, and we stopped at some motel right outside of town. Dean got two rooms this time since he thought Cas and I needed our own room.

Once I said goodnight to Sam and Dean I went back to my own room and changed for bed, surprisingly really tired for doing nothing but sitting in a car all day. Dean said we did have to wake up early though to meet up with Ellen and Jo so I guess it worked out. Cas was sitting at the table staring at wall as I climbed in to bed, fluffing all my pillows and lying down. "You're not going to lay with me?" I asked looking over at him. He seemed reluctant at first but he pulled off his trench coat, setting it over the chair and pulled off his shoes before climbing into bed next to me.

"Why are you staring at me like that?" He asked squinting his eyes at me.

"You could have kept going." I laughed giving him a smile. He looked at me confused and I knew he didn't get what I was saying so I just reached over and turned off the light, laying back down to face him. "What are you thinking about?" I asked softly. He brushed the hair out of my face and pulled me closer to him, looking down at me.

"I'm thinking about the future and what it might be like… What do you want in your future?"

"In my future?" I paused thinking for a second, "I want kids… eventually, and I want to live in a beautiful Victorian house in the mountains. Probably somewhere like Montana… oh and I want a garden. Not a little bitch garden either, I want a huge garden, one you could get lost in… what do you want?"

Cas stared at me for a moment, a small smile on his face "You." He said simply, "I want a future with you, whether its in Montana or Paris, I don't care. I want to give you the things you want, I want to be with you always."

I smiled up at him and gave him a small kiss. "Which is why… I don't want to be an angel anymore." He muttered. I was not expecting those words to ever come out of his mouth. "What?" I choked staring at him in the darkness.

"I've thought about this for a long time now Emma. Since you were taken for those six months, all I could think about was what could be once we got you back. I also thought about things that wouldn't happen. I want to be with you forever, but I don't want to out live you. I want to die with you… _Live_ with you, and I can't live as an angel."

I didn't know what to say to him. He sounded so sure, his mind was made up. "It's your decision Cas, and if that's what you choose then… I'm behind you." I smiled. I liked the thought of growing old with Cas, sitting in rocking chairs on a porch watching our grandchildren play in the lawn. It was a beautiful thought. He pulled me closer to him and started to kiss me, just like he had the first night I got back. It was rough, passionate, and amazing.

Before I knew it, he was on top of me and things were coming off left and right. I had to say for a million year old virgin, he sure seemed to know what he was doing. Every touch, every kiss sent shocks throughout my whole body. He managed to find every weak spot on me, every spot that made me melt under him. Every move he made just made me more mindless than the last.

I could barely breathe as I rested my head on his chest, cuddling up against him. He seemed to be more speechless than I was as he stared up at the celling. "That was nothing like I expected." He confessed after a few minutes of silence. "Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" I asked looking up at him.

"A very good thing." He laughed as his hand rubbed up and down my side. I accidently hit him when he did that and started laughing. I pushed away from him and wrapped myself up in the blankets like a cocoon and he just stared at me as if I was on crack. "What was that about?" He asked.

"Don't tickle me." I said completely serious. He stared at me confused for a second before a smiled flashed across his face and I knew nothing good was going to come from that smile. He pulled the blankets away from me and started to tickle me until I was laughing uncontrollably. I tried to push him away but he got on top of me and kept going for a few more seconds before finally giving me a break to breathe. "You're such a jerk!" I yelled smiling up at him.

"I love the sound of your laughter." He shrugged giving me a smile back. I wasn't sure what it was but he seemed so different now, like a different Cas, he actually seemed… human. The way he talked, moved, acted, it was all so human like. We stared at each other for a few second before Cas bent down and kissed me and we were right back where we started a few hours ago.

By now, I knew I probably wasn't going to get any sleep tonight but I really didn't care. All I could think about was being in the moment; being with Cas and what he said earlier about being human kept running through my mind. I wondered if he was seriously going to do it. I knew it was a lot for him to give up. His family, his home, his powers. Being human wasn't easy by any means, but if that's what he chose I was going to help him, be with him every step of the way. I loved the idea so much of him being human, I just hoped in the end… he wouldn't end up regretting that decision.


	26. Chapter 26

As I had guessed, I didn't get an ounce of sleep last night. When Cas and I finally calmed down it was six in the morning and I knew Dean would be coming around any time now, so I hopped in the shower and got ready. Sure enough just as I finished doing my hair there was a loud knock on the door. Only when I opened the door I stood facing Jo, not Dean.

"Hey? What's... Where's Dean?" I asked as she pushed her way into the room. "I have no clue. Him, Sam, my mom... They're all gone. I woke up this morning alone and when I went to go find Sam and Dean, nothing. Their room was completely empty." She rushed. I could tell she was freaking out, and truthfully, I didn't blame her, they wouldn't just leave in the middle of night, so something was obviously wrong.

"I will search for them." Cas said quickly disappearing. Jo did a double take for a second before looking around the room.

"Nice..." She said with a smirk as she looked over at the bed. I just gave her a forced smile and started to get my shoes on. "So what do you think is happening? I mean Sam and Dean wouldn't just take off in the middle of the night." I said squeezing my foot in my shoe.

"Neither would my mom. It's whatever... Thing we came here to hunt. It's been taking people left in right. There are already 3 missing people this week. 12 people the whole month. So I'm assuming this monster probably took them."

"Why would it take your mom and not you though?" I asked as she took a seat next to me on the couch.

"That's a good question." She muttered, not really directing that response at anyone or anything. "Where did the angel go? I thought he could see the whole city in like 5 seconds."

She was right; Cas should have been back by now. I got up, grabbed my cell phone, and called Cas but it went straight to voicemail. I looked over at Jo and I could tell we both had the same thought. Whatever this thing was, it had him now too. "So whatever it is obviously strong enough to capture an angel." She sighed resting her head on the back of the couch, looking up at the ceiling.

"Or at least smart enough." I replied.

"Well I guess it's just you and me now." She said getting up, "We should go talk to the manager and take a look at the surveillance, maybe there will be something on there that will help us."

I nodded and we headed out to the office to talk to manager. He was hesitant at first but once we brought Benjamin into the conversation, he took us back to the surveillance room. We scanned through the tapes and around 4 a.m Sam, Dean, and Ellen all left their rooms and just walked off. "Something's not right about this." Jo said replaying the tapes repeatedly.

"Maybe they were possessed or mind controlled or something... I mean they wouldn't just leave us... Would they?"

Jo looked over at me for a second before turning her attention back the screen, "No I doubt it. If my mom were going to leave me behind on a hunt, she wouldn't have brought me... Besides I don't think Castiel would have ditched us." She pointed out.

"Well I don't think we are going to find anything on these tapes. Maybe we'll find something on Sam's laptop. He had to have an idea of what was going on here." I shrugged. Jo was hesitant at first but finally she got up and followed me to Sam and Deans room.

She searched the room while I did some digging on Sam's laptop. I didn't find much of anything but a few articles on some missing people. I opened theirs dad journal that was still sitting on the table and there was a page bookmarked, "Do you know anything about Wendigo's?" I asked reading the journal entry.

"Wendigo? I've heard of em but never hunted one. Why?"

"Sam had the page bookmarked so I thought maybe it had to do with all this. Maybe Sam thought that was what we were hunting." I shrugged, "That doesn't really explain why they would just get up and leave though."

"There is this." Jo said coming up to the table and putting a piece of paper down in front of me. "See what is."

I opened up the paper and there was an address on it. When I looked it up, it leads to a house on the other side of town. "Okay well I think we should head over there." Jo said pulling back on her jacket. I nodded and stood up looking over at John's journal. I wanted to just sit there and read the journal cover to cover but I knew we had to go.

Jo practically dragged me down to the parking lot and pushed me into the impala. Jo climbed behind the wheel and sat there for a second with a huge smile on her face. "I always wanted to drive this thing." She smirked as she turned the key and started the car. I don't know why but that just made me smile uncontrollably.

It took us 20 minutes to get to the house and when we pulled up it was nothing like we expected. "Uh... Are you sure this is the right place?" I asked as we got out of the car. When I looked up the address it lead to an old house but here, there was nothing. It didn't even seem like a house had ever even been built here.

"I'm positive. This is the address." Jo muttered walking into the field.

"Maybe... There is like a trap door or something? A spell?" I shrugged watching Jo as she stomped around the field. "A spell? You mean like make the house invisible? I would have hit something by now if that were the case." She sighed as she continued walking.

"Well I don't know what else it could be. Maybe the house grew legs and walked off... Wanted better scenery than some ugly trees." I shrugged, looking out at the forest. Maybe there was something here, we were just missing it. Dean had this address for some reason. Jo started walking back over to me when suddenly the ground under her gave out and she fell into a sinkhole.

I ran over as quick as I could and she was lying, passed out, blood running down her face. "Jo! Wake up!" I screamed but I knew that was useless. I got up and went back over to the impala, opening up the trunk and pulling out a gun, a water bottle, and some rope.

I tied the rope to near by tree and threw it down the hole. I stared down at Jo who was still unconscious. This was really not the time to be afraid of heights. I closed my eyes and jumped down the hole landing a few feet away from Jo. I quickly got up, ignoring the few scraps I got and ran over to Jo.

I poured a bit of water on her face and she woke right up. "What the hell happened?" She asked groggily, holding her head.

"Well... You fell about 15 feet in a sink hole."

Jo looked up, squinting her eyes and when she turned her head, I saw a huge gash in the back of her head. "That's bad." I said reaching up and parting her hair. She winced and whipped her head around, giving me a nasty look.

"You try falling 15 feet." She snapped. I helped her to her feet and she looked like she was about to kill someone. "Let's just get out of here and get you to a hospital, we can come back and find other clues later." I said walking over to the rope, "Do you think you can climb?"

She nodded walking over to the rope and started to climb up. She was half way there when she suddenly stopped and slipped back down the rope. "Jo! What are you doing we are suppose to be getting out of here." I yelled as she ignored me and walked to the very edge of the sinkhole.

"I think there is something over here." She motioned. I walked over to the wall where she was standing, I tried to look but it was too dark to actually see anything.

"Let's just go, we can come back okay?" I pushed trying to get her to leave. She started to feel the wall and a sudden click sound filled the room and a door opened behind us. "Okay... So now we are in Indiana Jones?"

Jo flashed a smile before she ran over to the door and pulled it open. "I think we should still wait. You need to get to the hospital." I uttered. I was more talking to air since she just ignored me and started through the door. I chased after her and practically had to run just to catch up with her. I didn't get why she was so eager but she acted like we were just about to find gold.

"Jo come on, we can't even see anything. Let's just go, we can come back." I said once more and that must have pushed her over the edge, because just as I finished my last word she pushed me up against the wall, her hand crushing my throat.

"Tell me we need to leave one more time and I'm leaving you behind." She said, letting go of my neck. She started walking back down the hallway and I just followed keeping quiet. We probably walked for a good 10 minutes and we hadn't gotten anywhere, it was as if the hallway never ended.

"This doesn't make sense." Jo said looking back down where we had come from. I just shrugged and she gave me an apologetic look. "Emma I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me. I'm actually freaking the hell out right now. I mean it would be easier if we had just one clue on where or what has them but we literally have nothing."

"We will figure it out... But I don't think we are going to figure it out in here." I muttered, looking around. Jo nodded and we started walking back the way we came. "So how do you like hunting?" She asked looking over at me.

"It's okay. I mean watching the show all I ever wanted to do was hunt with Sam and Dean and now that I get to do it... It's just not what I expected I guess." I shrugged. I mean it was true, even through everything they went through, hunting always looked fun. I just never looked at how much it could really affect a person.

"So what made you choose Castiel?"

"Cas? Uh... I didn't really choose him that just sort of happened. I actually always loved Dean. I mean I still love Dean but now I look at him like an older brother, not the way I used to." Jo smirked at that and I'm sure she was happy since that left room for her and Dean.

After about 15 minutes of walking, we finally reached the door that out to the sinkhole. Jo went first and I followed crawling out of the hole, only to find we weren't in a field anymore, we were standing in the backyard of a house.

"I guess it got home sick." Jo said, handing me the gun she held for me. She paused for a few seconds before walking through the back door. We spread out and started to check the house. I was trying to wrap my head around the fact that not an hour ago this house was anywhere to be found. The house looked like it was probably built 100 years ago, and no one has inhabited it in at least 50.

Jo came in to the bedroom that was in, putting her gun away, "All clear. So what do you think this thing is?"

"A witch maybe? A god?" I said looking through the books that sat on the nightstand. "I mean you said that what 12 people have gone missing? So I think it's safe to assume human is the main course."

I continued looking through the books, and when Jo didn't answer I looked up to find her passed out on the floor. "Jo!" I bent down and picked her up, dragging her to the bed. I knew we should have just gone to the stupid hospital. I picked up Jo and dragged her out to the impala, trying my best not to hurt her anymore than she already was.

After I got her in the back seat, I grabbed the keys out of her jacket and climbed behind the wheel. The nearest hospital was a lot farther then I would have liked but I was happy when I finally got her there and they rushed her off into surgery to close the wound in her head.

I probably waited for a good 7 hours before the nurse finally came out and told me I could see her. When I went into the room her head was all wrapped and I'm sure they probably shaved her head. She would be happy about that. I fell asleep sitting in her room waiting for her to wake up, only to be woken a few hours later by two very intimidating cops.

"So can you tell us exactly what happen again?" The first cop asked.

"We were hiking up at the mountains across the river and Hannah, being the crazy chick she is, fell. Cracked her head open and I rushed her right here."

"And you're her...?"

"Her sister." I replied. The cop looked between Jo and me, not seeming to convinced. "Where are your parents?" He asked, writing something down.

"At home. We're just on vacation. Two sisters, traveling the world." I smiled. The cop looked at me for a second before nodding and writing something else down. He told me not to leave town and finally left.

When I got back in Jo's room, she was still passed out. I took out my cell phone and dialed Bobby's number, walking back out into the hallway. "Hello?" Bobby answered. Not sounding to happy. It was 1 a.m so he probably was sleeping.

"Hey Bobby... I... I don't know what to do. A whole bunch of crap is going down." I replied, trying to stay calm. After I told Bobby everything that was going on he told me to just stay with Jo and he would be here tomorrow. So I hung up and went back to sit in the room with a still passed out Jo.

I sat there for hours, bored to death, doing everything I could to keep myself entertained. After a few hours Jo finally started to squirm, opening her eyes. "Hey, hey... How you feeling?" I asked taking a seat next to her bed.

"A mix between heaven and hell. How long have I been passed out?" She asked sitting up a bit. "About 18 hours?" I replied.

"Dean? Mom?" She asked, but I just shook my head. "We need to go back to that house. I just have a feeling..."

"A feeling?" I asked pushing her back down when she tried to get up.

Jo nodded, giving me a nasty look. "Yes, I think we missed something back there. We didn't even have time to check it out."

I sighed looking over at the time. 4 a.m. "Well... I can run over there and check it out... See if we missed anything."

"You can't go alone!" She yelled trying to get up again, only for me to push her back down. "I'll be fine. Since you're so worried, I'll go check it out and be back within an hour." I said getting up. Jo agreed, so I gave her my cell number In case she needed to call me and I got back in the Impala and headed back for the house.

After getting lost for a few minutes, I finally found the house happy it was still standing there. I got a flashlight out of the back, grabbed my gun, and headed into the house. I walked around, checking every room but nothing was here. It was still as abandoned as the first time we came.

I looked in every closest and every room when I finally came across a door that lead to the basement. At first, I just stared down into the dark room, unable to move. This was how horror movies started. I took a deep breath and slowly headed down the stairs, gun ready.

I walked down slowly, just waiting for something straight out of Steven King to pop up and bite my head off. I searched the basement, finding nothing much other than old furniture. I walked through looking over everything making sure not to miss anything.

There was a reason Dean had this address written down, I just didn't know what to look for. Maybe the sinkhole on the back was what he was looking for, I just didn't know any more. After spending 20 minutes looking around the basement, I finally decided to just head back to the hospital and wait for Bobby. Maybe he would know what we were supposed to be looking for.

I headed back to the stairs, making my way up to the main part of the house. I walked through one last time just be sure I didn't miss anything and got back in the impala. I started heading back to the hospital as fast as I could. All I could think about was where they were and what in the world could have taken them. I heard something behind me and when I looked in the rear view mirror, I saw Meg sitting in the back seat smiling. I lost my handle on the wheel and the car skidded off the road and the last thing I remember seeing was a tree coming at me faster and faster.


	27. Chapter 27

**Hey guys, so I hope your all enjoying the story so far. Sorry this chapter fell a little shorter than normal**

**next chapter won't be as short. Thanks for all the favs/follows and reviews! :) Hope you enjoy.**

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I would be lying if I said that wasn't terrified. That part of me didn't wish I would have just died in this car crash. I always tried to be positive, tried to see the good in everyday but sometimes it got too much. One person can only take on so much stuff before they just snap, and for me I felt like I was hanging on by a limb.

I crawled out of the impala and hobbled a few feet away; looking at all the damage the impala had taken. Dean was going to kill me. Fry me up and feed me to a Dementor.

"Don't worry, I'm sure Dean will get over it." Meg said appearing next to me.

I stood up and grabbed on to the tree for support, turning to face Meg. "Well maybe if some stupid demon didn't just pop up in the back seat I wouldn't have crashed his car!"

"Well aren't you just a big ball of puppies... I didn't know you were going to going all horror movie on me. From what I heard you were suppose to be tough. I mean lasting 6 months from Crowley... That's like lasting 20 years." She smirked looking back over at the impala.

"What do you want Meg." I asked, hobbling over to the impala and searching for my cell phone. "So you really do know things. Huh... Interesting." she said crossing her arms. I shot her back a look and she just nodded, continuing, "I came for a truce."

I looked back at her confused, "A truce? You haven't done anything to me... Why don't you tell that to someone else who might actually care."

She stood looking at me as if I were retarded. "I can't very well go talk to them now can I. I need your help." She muttered. My help? That was funny.

"Help you. That's cute..." I laughed. I finally found my cell phone, hobbled back over to the tree, and sat down on the ground, dialing Bobby's number. Meg came over and took the cell phone breaking it in half and dropping it on the ground.

"I know where your boy toys are. But as I said before, I need your help."

I looked up at Meg surprised, "You know where they are?" I asked getting back to my feet. "Yes, and I know how get them all." She added.

I didn't like the thought of working with Meg, but at this point I didn't have much of a choice. "Fine... So where are they?"

She smiled for a second before uttering out the one word I did not want to hear, Crowley. "Why would Crowley take them?" I asked confused. He has the spell to purgatory so why would he need them.

"He's been kidnapping hunters all over. I don't know what he is planning but it is something big."

"Kidnapping hunters?" I repeated and she just nodded. Why couldn't Crowley be an awesome Demon like he was in the show? I noticed that everyone here was a little off than how they were perceived in the show, but Crowley... he was just like comparing an atomic bomb to a butterfly. "Okay so what do we do?"

Meg walked over to me and zapped us back to old house I had just come from. I was about to ask something when she disappeared again. This was a good plan... Doing nothing. I waited 5 minutes when she finally returned. She had a bunch of herbs for what I assumed was a spell.

"So what we are summoning Crowley? That doesn't sound to smart."

"No, we are pulling your angel boy back to us. If we are going to find them we are going to need some big guns." She said mixing all the ingredients in the bowl. She whispered a spell and set the herbs on fire. Not a second later Cas was standing in front of her, bloody from head to toe.

"Cas!" I yelled hobbling over to him as fast as I could. He looked at me confused for a minute before raising two fingers to forehead and fixing me. "What is going on?" He asked looking past me to Meg.

"Don't..." I said stepping between him and Meg, "She's here to help. She knows how to get Sam, Dean and Ellen back." I said hurriedly. Cas squinted his eyes and I could tell he was fighting the urge not to smite her right there.

"I found them. Crowley is holding them an hour from here. The place is heavily guarded though. They were expecting me to show up." He said still not taking his eyes off Meg. "Why are we working with this... Abomination."

"Keep talking dirty, it makes my meat suit all dewy." Meg said flashing him a smile. I wanted to puke; I rolled my eyes and looked back at Cas. "We need her help okay. So play nice." I muttered.

"So now what?" Cas asked looking between Meg and me.

Meg shrugged, leaning up against the table, "Now we come up with a plan, since we can't just go waltzing back in there."

"Well first things first... We need to fix Jo. She's back at the hospital and she isn't doing to well" I said. Cas nodded and zapped us over to the hospital. He didn't waste anytime walking over to Jo and placing two fingers on her head. "Thank you." She said sitting up, giving Cas a confused look. "What the hell happened out there? I've been calling you for over an hour. Where is my mom?"

I looked over at Cas who avoided both of our eyes, staring off at the wall. "She's with Crowley. We need to go though, so get dressed." I said as she jumped up out of the bed. Cas and I looked away while she got dressed and once she was done Cas zapped us back to the house.

"What the hell is that bitch doing here?" Jo yelled once she saw Meg round the corner.

Meg gave her a smile, crossing her arms, "You all are just so sweet. I feel right at home."

"She's the reason we have Cas back, she's on our side." I said and Jo shot Meg a nasty look. I knew this was going to be a fun group exercise.

"Okay so we need to call Bobby and let him know what's going on, he shouldn't be that far away by now. When he gets here, I guess we will figure out a plan to save them all." I sighed, "But I'm not staying in his disgusting, witchy house. So how about we just go back to the slightly less gross motel room."

Cas grabbed on to Jo and me and zapped us back to the motel room, Meg appearing right after us. Every one took a seat and Jo grabbed Dean's cell phone off the night stand while I grabbed a jacket out of Deans bag and threw it on. "Where do you think you're going?" Jo asked, and I just shrugged walking to the door, "Out." I said walking out and slamming the door behind me.

It took everything I had not to just scream and punch out a window. I had so many things going through my head I couldn't even think straight, the last three days just replaying repeatedly in my brain. I rounded the corner and nearly died of a heart attack to find Cas standing there. "Where are you going?" He asked catching me before I fell.

"Just leave me alone Cas." I said pushing past him. He grabbed my arm and spun me around, giving me an irritated look. "Are you okay?"

"Am I okay? Yeah Cas I am perfect! Just peachy!" I said pulling my arm out of his grasp.

"You're being sarcastic aren't you?"

I just shook my head, turned around, and started to walk away. What part of any of this was okay? I just wanted to be left alone, but of course, Cas just appeared in front of me again, grabbing me and pushing me into the wall. "What is wrong with you Emma?" He asked, and snap went the last limb I was able to hold on to.

"What is wrong with me? What's wrong is that Sam, Dean and Ellen are fucking with Crowley. I wrecked Dean's car, you were fucking kidnapped and beat to death, now we have to try to go and save them and god knows how hard that is going to be. This whole thing, all of it, is what's wrong. Life is wrong!" I shouted pushing Cas away. He came back and tried to hug me but I just kept pushing him away until finally I just broke down in his arms.

He didn't say anything he just let me cry. I just wanted this pain to go away. I don't think I could have explained it even if I tried. I was just angry all the time now. I just wanted to bash in people skulls and make it rain blood. Ever since I got out of Crowley torturing me, I felt different. I wasn't that insane fan girl I used to be, and truthfully I missed that girl.

I missed my old life, my family, my friends. I wished for this and now all I did was wish I could take it back. I loved Dean and Sam, even Cas to the ends of the earth but I wasn't cut out for this. Not any of it. I just wanted to go home.

Cas let me cry for a good 40 minutes before I saw Bobby's van pull up outside the motel. Jo must have called him while we were out here. I wiped my eyes and gave Cas a smile before running over to meet Bobby. I gave him a hug and led the way back to the motel room.

"How do you idjits always manage to get yourselves in so much trouble." Bobby muttered after giving Jo a hug. He flashed Meg a nasty look before taking a seat at the table with Jo. "So what do we know?"

"Crowley has them held up in a house not too far from here, only he has every Jack, John and Betty covering the place." Meg answered. Bobby rolled his eyes and ran his hand down his face, yeah none of us were happy about this.

"Okay well let's go check this place out, see what we can get. Maybe they have a weak spot we can get through" Bobby added, standing up. Cas pushed us all together and zapped us a mile away from the house, somewhere out in the woods. We hiked through the woods stopping a few yards away from the secluded house, and just looking at it I could tell Meg wasn't exaggerating.

There were demons lining every inch of the house. I didn't think there was anyway to even try to get in there. "Balls. How the hell are we supposed to get in there?" Bobby sighed looking over the house.

"I think you should hand yourselves over." Meg suggested. Bobby turned around to look at her, a nasty look on his face "Turn ourselves in? How is that gonna do anyone a lick of good?"

Meg sighed and explained her plan to everyone. Cas and Bobby didn't seem one ounce happy with the plan but we didn't really have many more options. So, we headed back to the motel and got ready. After a few hours of working out every single possibility, we finally decided it was time to go.

Cas zapped Jo and me a mile outside the house just as we had before, only this time he left and it was just Jo and I. We headed up the long dirt road not speaking the whole way. I didn't know about her but all I could think of was the million ways this thing could wrong. Crowley showing up, too many demons, them catching Cas again. I knew we came up for a plan for every possible way but that didn't make me feel any better.

Jo must have been able to tell I was freaking out, since she reached her hand over and gave my hand a little squeeze. I gave her a small smile and before I knew it, we were back at the house. Jo let go of my hand and we walked up to the house and four demons made their way over to us.

"Well well, what can we do for you two fine ladies?" One of the demons asked, flashing us a smile.

"Oh we were hiking but we got a little lost. Do you think you could show us the way back to town?" Jo asked, acting helpless. The first demon gave her a smile and put his arm around her nodding. "How about you come in and get a drink and we'll uh… we'll help get you back into town."

Jo nodded and we followed the demons into the house. They led the way to the kitchen and got us both glasses of water and from what I could tell there weren't anymore demons in here, but they could have been elsewhere. "So where you girls from?" one of the demons asked as he handed me my water.

"Florida." Jo said answering before I even opened my mouth.

"You girls are a little ways from home then. What brings you out here?"

"Just on vacation with my sister." Jo smiled up at the demons. She gave me a look and I excused myself to go to the restroom. Once I was sure none of the demons followed me, I looked around for the basement. Cas said when he first found them they were in a dark room so that was the best bet.

I found the door and opened it as quietly as I could heading down the stairs. There was a demon watching the bottom of the stairs but luckily, I stabbed him before he had time to make any noise. I weaved my way through the room until I found a hallway blocked by two demons that looked like they should have been wrestlers.

I kept my distance and prayed to Cas telling him I found it, and before I knew it, Meg was standing in front of me. We didn't waste any time taking out the demons and making our way down the hallway. There were a series of rooms that lined the hallway, I opened a random door and found Sam tied up, blood covering him from head to toe.

I ran over to Sam and placed my hands on his face, lifting it up to look at me. "Emma…" He muttered out weakly.

"It's okay Sam, it's okay. I'm gonna get you out of here." I rushed, untying his hands. "Emma… you have to go… he's coming back." he whispered.

"Don't worry, I'm ready if Crowley comes." I said helping him to his feet. "It's not... not Crowley." He choked. Suddenly the sound of wings filled the room and I turned around to face possibly the one thing we did not have a plan for. Raphael.


	28. Chapter 28

Staring into the face of Raphael was probably the scariest thing I have ever experienced. More terrifying than Lucifer, and definitely more horrifying than 6 months with Crowley, I would have rather been staring at anyone else this second.

Raphael waved his hand and sent Sam flying back into the wall, leaving a huge hole where he had hit. "So you're the human that has been causing so many problems." He said looking down at me. My heart just stopped dead as I stared into his eyes. I would have loved for some red ruby slippers right about now.

"You killed my brothers." He said cocking his head to the side. "Yeah... I'm sorry about that... I'm sure they were really nice guys." I nodded, backing up a bit. I looked over at Sam but that blow to wall had him passed out.

I started to wonder where Meg was but I was sure she had taken off the second Raphael appeared. Then I started to wonder what happened to Jo. She was supposed to be distracting the demons until Cas showed up with Bobby. I hoped they made it out okay. No use in all of us being fried by an archangel.

"Do you have any idea what I have planned for you?" He asked, as I backed up against the wall next to Sam. "Well believe It or not I'm great at torture. Just ask Crowley... one of my many talents." I uttered.

"You really believe that do you. My torture is more... advanced. I can do things to you Crowley couldn't even imagine."

"That sounds just... so fun, like I can't even tell you but uh... maybe another time okay? We can even bring movies, and paint each others nails." I nodded. Raphael smiled and clenched his fist, and I fell to the ground couching up blood. "You are all going to pay for what you did." He said clenching his fist tighter.

I saw Meg appear behind Raphael and aim the colt to the back of his head, firing off a round. Raphael dropped the ground in an instant and Meg ran over to help me up. "I thought you ran." I said coughing up a little more blood. "You really need to have more faith in me." She muttered as Jo and Bobby came running into the room staring down at Raphael's body.

"Lets get everyone and get the hell out of here, no tellin' what effect that shot had on him." Bobby said grabbing Sam. Sam started to wake up and we all headed out to the hallway looking through all the rooms until we found Dean and Ellen. Jo grabbed Ellen, Meg got Dean, and we started heading back up the stairs.

We met Cas on the outside with five dead demons on the ground around him. We all huddled together and he zapped us back to the motel. After we laid everyone down on the beds Cas went around laying his fingers on all their heads, fixing them up.

"They will need rest. Raphael did a great deal of damage." Cas said, staring down at Dean.

"So do you think that bullet killed him?" Jo asked taking a seat next her mom on the bed. Cas rounded the bed and came over to me, raising his fingers and fixing me. "There is no way to know unless we go back. I know it had no real effect on Lucifer, but Lucifer was also stronger than Raphael." He said turning back to Jo.

I took a seat at the table with Bobby, letting out a sigh, "Why did you say Crowley took them?" I asked looking over at Meg. She seemed to be sure that it was Crowley so why would Raphael show up?

"I didn't know they were working together." She shrugged, "I just heard what I heard. He's been keeping this whole thing pretty tight. Kidnapping hunters. I was just trying to help. I saved your ass didn't I?"

I gave Meg a look and turned my attention over to Sam and Dean, who were still knocked out cold. If Raphael was working with Crowley that probably meant they were trying to break into purgatory together. Raphael would have known about me, which explains how Crowley knew about me. But if Raphael really was working for Crowley this was all a lot worse than we could ever imagine.

Before, Cas would have taken on the on the souls, and he was already bad enough, but adding an archangel into the equation? There was no telling what could come out of that. "Uh... what the hell? Family reunion?" Dean said sitting up, looking around the room. I got up and practically dove on the bed wrapping my arms around Dean's neck.

Dean wrapped his arms around me, hugging me back. I know it had only been a few days but it felt like a lifetime since I heard that gruff voice. "Geez blondie, I would have to think you missed me or something." He smiled as I pulled away. He looked over at Sam and shook him, practically beating him until he woke up.

"You trying to give me a damn heart attack Sammy?" Dean yelled when Sam finally woke up. He sat up next to Dean, and held his head. "God... what happened? I remember Raphael and... Emma!" He shouted looking around the room. When he saw me, he relaxed letting out a sigh, "Good..." He smiled. I crawled over Dean and slammed Sam with the same hug I gave Dean. Sam hugged me back, giving me a kiss on my head.

"This is all beautiful, really... but don't you think we should get a move on before the big bad wolf comes back?" Meg said from behind me. Sam and Dean jumped to their feet, Dean already had a knife in his hand, and I had no idea where he pulled it out from.

"What the hell is that bitch doing here?" Dean asked, not taking his eyes off Meg. I got up and stood in front of Dean, blocking his way to her. "She's here to help Dean!" I said raising my hands, trying to get his to lower his knife.

"White flag and all." She smirked, "You know I saved all your asses, so really I should be getting some praise right about now." She said, crossing her arms. After we explained everything to Dean, he finally came around to the idea of Meg helping us. He was very hesitant but since she proved herself so far, he would give her a chance.

"Okay so we should head back to Bobby's, figure this shit out." Dean said and started to pack up all his stuff. Everyone turned to look at me as him and Sam were packing up and it was obvious now no one was going to help me break the news. "What... why you all staring at Blondie?"

Dean raised an eyebrow at me and I closed my eyes, taking a breath. Might as well get it over with... "So about... about leaving uh... funny story, you're actually gonna laugh about this..."

"Spit it out!"

"I may have... crashed... the impala." I muttered out. Dean dropped his bag on the bed and if looks could kill, I would be dead a million times over. "You may have crashed the impala?" He repeated walking over to me.

I backed up a little taking a seat on the bed, "Maybe... just, just a scratch." I shrugged. Dean made Cas zap us over to where we had left the impala, and Dean looked like he was about to cry. The windshield was smashed in, and the front of the car was practically spit in two wrapped around the tree trunk, the car was definitely totaled.

"Just a scratch? Oh my baby!" He said walking over and examining it more closely.

"I just want you to know, you were the greatest sister I've ever had." Sam said, placing his hand on my shoulder. "I'm technically your only "sister" dude." I said looking up at him.

Sam just smiled and shook his head, "I'll make sure you have a beautiful funeral." He laughed patting my back. Dean came back over after he got off the phone with a tow truck, and I just felt like he was about to kill me. "How do you even do this?" Dean asked irritated tremendously.

"Well I was driving then Meg appeared in the back and scared the crap out of me." I shrugged.

"So you drive my baby into a tree! Why were you driving anyway?" He asked running his hand down his face. Dealing with Dean when he was angry was not a fun experience. Imagine Voldemort, Hitler, and Metatron, just in one person. He was scary.

After Dean got all his anger out shouting at me, the tow truck finally showed up, taking the impala away. Bobby said him, Jo, and Ellen would meet us back at the house, since they still had Bobby's van. So, Cas zapped Sam, Dean and me back to Bobby's house. Sam and Dean spent the rest of the day putting up every symbol known to man all over the house, to ward off against everything. Which meant Cas was going to spend the night outside, watching for any sign of demons or angels, since he couldn't come in once they drew up the angel warding.

After dinner, I went outside to sit with Cas for a bit before heading off to sleep. He was sitting at the far end of the junkyard, staring out into the forest. I took a seat on the hood next to him and pulled my knees to my chest. "So you excited to be camping outside?" I asked, and Cas didn't move an inch.

"I'm sorry, about yesterday... I know was I total bitch and I'm so sorry. I had no right." I sighed. Cas looked over at me for a second before looking back out at the forest.

"You don't need to explain yourself to me Emma. I understand, there was a lot going on, and I'm sure your emotions were heightened." He said not looking back over at me. Obviously that almost human Cas I had spent the night with was gone. "Cas, I'm sorry." I said again, burying my face in my knees.

I didn't expect him to just forgive me, but I had hoped he would have at least talked to me. We sat in silence for a few minutes before Cas finally spoke again, "What we did the other night... that meant a lot to me." He said gently. I looked up at him and we was already staring down at me.

"It meant a lot to me to." I replied. Cas nodded and bent down to kiss my head. "You should get some sleep, you have barely slept the past few days." He said

I knew that was his way of asking me to just leave him alone, so I got up and told him goodnight, going back into the house. I changed for bed and laid down getting comfortable, and turned the light off. Cas was right I had only gotten a few hours here and there in the hospital with Jo, other than that I've been up for 5 days straight.

I closed my eyes and tried to sleep but I was so paranoid of something coming in and getting me, or worse getting Sam and Dean. I knew Cas was outside but it didn't make me feel any better. I laid in bed for hours, tossing and turning but I couldn't fall asleep. I got up and snuck down stairs and Dean was passed out on Bobby's desk, whiskey next him as always.

I went to the kitchen to get a glass of water when I heard a noise coming from the basement. I stopped breathing for a second, when I heard it again. I set the glass down on the counter and slowly walked down to the basement. I grabbed the gun that was sitting on the desk next to Dean, and made my way down. I didn't know what to expect down here, my mind was running wild. Raphael, Metatron, a mutated spider hybrid. I really didn't know.

When I got to the bottom of the steps I didn't see anyone, but the noise kept coming from the panic room. For a second I wondered if I should go back and get Dean but I wandered into the panic room anyway, gun ready. When I rounded the door, I found Sam standing at a table, reciting a spell. I hid behind the door so he wouldn't see me and when the spell was done, the room shook a little and suddenly a man appeared standing before Sam. Crowley.

"Moose, I love these midnight calls, I really do... but sometimes a man just needs some time to himself." Crowley said placing his hands in his pockets. What the hell was Sam doing calling Crowley? "Cut the crap Crowley, I'm done with your games."

"Really? I thought we were just starting to have fun. Now I know you didn't call me here to talk about boyfriend problems so lets get on with it."

Sam laid the knife he was holding down on the table, and looked over at Crowley. "I want to make a deal." He said calmly. A deal? Was Sam crazy, he must have been.

A smile flashed across Crowley's face and I knew he loved the idea of owning Sam's soul. "A deal? I think I might be able to come up with something... What do you want?"

"I want you and Raphael, and all your dick followers to stop trying to break into purgatory. I want you to leave us all alone." Sam yelled. This wasn't going to end well, I wondered if I should have gotten Dean, or maybe if I should say something, but I really didn't want to make things worse.

"Come on Sam, you know I can't do that. I can however give you and your little house on the prairie immunity from everything. Make sure they all live happy long lives, I can even take you out of the hunting business; give you a white picked fence with a dog. Your choice." Crowley shrugged.

Sam stared at him for a second thinking it over. I couldn't believe he was seriously going to do this, I had to do something. I ran into the room and Sam jumped when he saw me, his face twisting with regret. "Sam don't you dare take that deal!" I shouted.

"Emma... what are you doing down here?" Sam asked accusingly. "I'm stopping you from doing something completely stupid!" I yelled walking over to scrape a line through the devils trap. Crowley waved his hand pushed me back into the wall, keeping me from moving.

"It's not nice to interrupt the grown ups." Crowley muttered, "Now Sam, where were we?"

Sam looked over at me apologetically before he turned his attention back to Crowley. "I want them all safe. Dean, Emma, Bobby... Ellen and Jo too."

"Of course." Crowley replied and Sam nodded continuing, "I want you to leave them alone, I want them protected." Sam added, pulling something out of his pants. Crowley was about to speak when Sam pulled up the colt and shot a round right off into Crowley's head.

The hold Crowley had on me dropped and I was able to move again. "What the fudgemonkey's Sam are you insane?" I screamed running over to him. I looked over at Crowley's body and Sam pulled me into a hug. I couldn't believe my eyes, was Crowley really dead?

I buried my head in Sam's chest, thanking god, and everyone I could think of that he didn't make that deal. Dean came running into the panic room, a pistol in his hand ready to shoot. "What the hell is going on?" Dean yelled, looking over at Crowley's body.

Sam pulled away and walked over, checking Crowley's body, to see if he was actually dead. "I think it's safe to say we can cross the king of hell off the list." Sam replied standing back up.

"What the hell Sam! When did you decide to just go rouge?"

"I was doing what needed to be done Dean. It would have made it more complicated if I talked to you about it first." Sam yelled back. Dean put his gun on the table and shook his head. "More complicated? I'm your brother Sam, we are in this together. You're suppose to come to me with crap like this. What if something went wrong? What if your little plan wouldn't have worked?"

"Nothing did go wrong. It worked out like it was supposed to. If I would have came to you with this then you would have just wanted it to make it so much harder than it needed to be." Sam shrugged. Dean pinched the bridge of his nose and I could tell he was holding back from punching Sam in the face. "Give us a minute." Dean said to me, giving me a little smile.

I didn't hesitate to run back upstairs away from Dean blowing up. I've already had him yell at me enough. I went back into the kitchen to get another drink when I saw Cas standing at the door like a lost puppy. I forgot he couldn't get in here, or he would have probably showed up the second Crowley did.

I got my self a glass of water and went out back to join Cas who was beyond freaking out. "What happened in there?" He asked looking me over.

"Well Sam went kamikaze and long story short, Crowley is dead." I replied, taking a seat on one of the broken down cars. "And right now Sam is probably getting his face beat in."

Cas stood in front of me a confused look on his face, "Crowley is dead?" He repeated. I was going to say something but he disappeared before I got the chance to, probably going to see if Crowley really was dead. I guess it wasn't a bad thing to be sure, I mean Crowley did fool them once before with being "dead". I don't why but deep down I actually did feel like he was dead, like this weight had been taken off my shoulders, and it was a beautiful feeling.


	29. Chapter 29

It had been a few days since Sam killed Crowley, and truthfully, it had been the best few days of my life. Bobby had called and said he was taking Ellen and Jo back to the roadhouse and he would be a few extra days, and so far, we hadn't been doing anything. Dean has been working on fixing his car, Sam has been researching and reading, and for me, I've been attempting to help Dean fix his car and mostly lazing around. One day, I didn't even get out of my pajamas. Cas had left the night Crowley died, returning to heaven saying he had to do some things. He didn't really specify what they were, he just told me he would see me soon and that was it.

Today was one of those lazy days. Sam was reading a book, sitting at Bobby's desk and Dean and I were watching some western movie he loved. Sam closed his book and pulled his laptop over opening it up. When Sam opened his laptop a loud screech emitted from it and Sam jumped, falling out of his chair. "Oh my god Sam! Are you okay?" I asked laughing. Dean was practically on the ground laughing so hard; his face was starting to turn red.

Sam stood up and collected himself, shooting daggers at Dean. "We're not kids anymore Dean. We're not gonna start that crap up again." Sam spat, his face completely serious. Dean finally started to calm down, sitting back up straight. "Start what up?" He asked, smiling over at Sam.

"That prank stuff... it's stupid, and it always escalates." Sam replied, taking his seat back at the desk. I couldn't help but have a huge smile on my face. I knew this day was going to be purely great. Watching Sam and Dean prank each other was so funny, and I was definitely looking forward to it. "Oh what's the matter Sammy, you afraid you're gonna get a little Nair in your shampoo again, huh?" Dean replied, that smile still plastered on his face.

"All right. Just remember, you started it." Sam said giving Dean a smile, turning his attention back to his laptop. I laughed and turned my attention back to the TV. I noticed Dean give a look over to Sam, and smile before turning his attention back to the TV. I finished watching the movie with Dean before I decided I needed to take a shower and get out of my pajamas. When I got out of the shower, I looked myself over in the mirror as I always did, only this time I looked different.

I let out probably the loudest scream I could have come up with, surprised it didn't shatter glass. Sam came running into the bathroom, gun drawn and he stopped dead when he looked at me. Sam tried to speak but he couldn't really get words past all his laughs. I stomped down stairs, still in a towel, and walked into the study, ready to kill Dean. "Hey blondie... or should I say pinkie?" He smiled.

"My hair is pink Dean... Pink!" I screamed pointing to my head. Sam walked up behind me still laughing and I turned around and gave him a nasty look. "I mean, it's a good color on you." Sam shrugged still laughing. I turned back to Dean, crossing my arms. I was so pissed; I was ready to kill him.

"Did you really think I was going to leave you out?" He asked. Dean stood up and came over looking at my hair more closely, and he started laughing again. "You realize this means war, correct?" I said, raising an eyebrow at him.

Dean smiled at me and backed up, throwing his hands in the air, "Bring it... pinkie." I stomped back up stairs and threw on shorts and sweatshirt, making my way back down stairs and outside. If Dean wanted to start a war, well then we were going to play that game. I prayed for Cas and not two seconds after he appeared before me, his face twisting with confusion as he saw me. "Why is your hair pink?" He asked, squinting his eyes at me.

"Dean has started a war, and I need your help." I said, crossing my arms in anger. After I explained everything to him, I had him zap me to the store so I could get some things. Dean wouldn't let me drive the impala ever again, and since I crashed his car he wouldn't let me drive at all. I was only 25 but he was too afraid I was going to crash again. Once Cas zapped us back, I set the bag on the ground and gave him a hug. "Thank you Cas." I said, smiling up at him.

"Anything for you." He said, bending down to give me a kiss. I kept hugging him for a few seconds before taking a step back and staring at the ground. I wanted to ask him what he was doing and when he was going to be back, but every time I tried to ask him, he would always change the subject. I worried about him constantly and he couldn't seem to grasp that. "Emma, you don't need to worry." He said gently, looking down at me.

I swore most of the time he read my mind, and it was annoying to think he could do that. "I just want you to be safe." I shrugged, still not taking my eyes off the ground. He reached down and his hand pulled my chin up to look at him, his face looking so sad. "It's more than that." He said.

It was more than that but I wasn't going to admit it to him. I was worried that with him off in heaven he was going to become _that_ Cas again. The Cas that would do anything to take Raphael down. Sure, he may not consume all the souls of purgatory, but he could do something else that would blow up in all our faces. I grabbed his hand and squeezed it looking up at him.

Every time I looked at him, I wondered how I got so lucky to be with him. Sometimes, I think I don't want to be here, and I miss my family and my old life, but then I look at Cas. When I look at him I forget all those feelings about not wanting to be here, feelings of fear and doubt and all I see is my future. I see a man who would literally do anything for me. I mean him coming from his important job in heaven to take me to the store just proved that.

"You're worried I will make the wrong choices again, aren't you?" He asked looking away from me. I moved close to him and wrapped my arms around his waist, resting my head on his chest. "I believe in you." I said simply, as he wrapped his arms around me. We stood there for a few minutes before he told me he had to return to heaven, so I gave him a kiss and he vanished.

I picked up the bag that had all my goodies in it and went over to the impala. I peaked in through the back door to make sure Dean wasn't getting ready to come out here and I got to work. I pulled out the vials of glitter I bought and started putting them in the air vents. I made sure to make it look like no one had been in there and threw the vials in the garbage. I made my way back inside and Dean couldn't help but giggle when he saw me.

"Did you tell your big bad angel what I did?" He joked, being cocky. He wouldn't feel cocky later when him and his car were covered in 10 vials of glitter. I shot him a look and went upstairs to dye my hair back blonde. I was not going to wait for this pink to wash out. After an hour or so, I was back to blonde, and back to happy.

I went back down stairs to sit with Sam and Dean, and when I hit the bottom step I heard Dean on the phone talking to someone, and it didn't sound like a good phone call. "Victor called, said he had a case over in Wisconsin he couldn't take care of. 3 vic's, all their insides liquefied." Dean said, setting his phone down on the desk.

"Who's victor?" I asked, entering the room. "He's a hunter we met awhile back, helped us hunt a Rugaru." Dean replied, smiling at my hair. Sam opened his laptop and started clicking around, before pulling up articles on the victims.

"So do you think we should check it out?" Sam asked, reading over the articles. I looked over his shoulder and the pictures of the victims were so disgusting I had to walk away. "Yeah, it's not that far, we'll just go check it out. Take something easy before we get back to dealing with purgatory. Besides, Cas might find something out with the whole..." Dean stopped talking when his eyes moved over to me.

"With the whole what?" I asked, giving Dean a nasty look. Had Cas told Dean what he was doing? Why would he tell Dean and not me? I knew they were best friends but I was his partner, and I had every right now know. Dean looked over at Sam worriedly and that's when I knew he was definitely hiding something. "The whole heaven thing. What ever he is doing up there." Dean shrugged.

I knew he was hiding something and I was going to get it out of someone, one way or another. "Come on, go get packed." Dean said, not looking over at me. I stared at him for a second before going upstairs to pack. I couldn't believe Cas was hiding something from me. I didn't want him to get to caught up in stopping Raphael and apparently he already was.

I threw my stuff into the trunk and climbed in the car after Sam and Dean. I was so caught up with Cas I had forgotten that I put glitter in the air vents. Sure enough when Dean started the car, glitter went flying everywhere. It covered Sam and Dean from head to toe and even got in the back seat a bit. Both Sam and Dean turned around to look at me, and I got double bitch faced.

I burst out laughing, and they both tried to wiped the glitter off their faces and get it out of their hair. "Glitter... fucking glitter!" Dean yelled, running his hands through his hair. I knew he was pissed but I couldn't do anything but laugh. It definitely took my mid off Cas.

"Now you both can be beautiful princesses." I laughed, "This came out so much better than I imagined!" I joked and they both kept giving me nasty looks. They climbed out of the car and wiped themselves down before climbing back in. Dean wiped down the front seat but no matter how much they tried, there was still glitter everywhere. "You are going to pay for this." Dean said shooting a look back at me. I just stuck my tongue out at him and he gave me a smile, turning his attention back to the front.

It took us somewhere around 7 hours to get to Steven Points, Wisconsin. As always Dean pulled into the first motel we came across. After unpacking, Dean jumped straight in the shower, determined to get all the glitter off him. Sam closed his eyes while I got changed for bed, throwing on a t-shirt I stole from him and my favorite pair of shorts.

"So what do you think it is?" I asked, taking a seat on the bed and hugging a pillow. "I have no idea. We're gonna need to head over to the police station, check the bodies." Sam replied. Dean came out of the bathroom rubbing a towel over his hair, giving me a look, and I couldn't help but smile.

"This glitter still won't come off. What did you do, put glue on it?" He asked, throwing the towel on one of the chairs. He picked up a pair of shorts and went back in the bathroom to change, not even waiting for me to answer. "That was actually a pretty good come back." Sam commented, giving me a smile.

"I know... I'm awesome." I shrugged, smiling at him. He let out a laugh and shook his head turning his attention back to the computer. "Well first thing in the morning we'll head over to the police station and check out those bodies." Dean said as he walked out of the bathroom.

Sam closed his laptop, grabbing clothes out of his bag and went to the bathroom to take a shower. Dean got a drink out of the fridge and took at seat on the couch, putting his feet up on the table. "So do you think I'll be able to come along this time?" I asked.

Dean stared at me for a second, taking a sip before finally giving me a nod. "I think we can work something out, but we need to get you some more F.B.I looking clothes." He replied. A smile grew on my face and I had to keep myself from squealing with excitement. Dean gave me a weird look and I just smiled at him, saying two words, "Shopping spree!"

He rolled his eyes and laughed, turning on the TV and clicking through the channels. I got up and joined Dean on the couch, watching some stupid movie he put on. I fell sleep during the movie, only to be woken by Dean picking me up, laying me down in the bed, and pulling the blanket over me. I pretended to be asleep so he wouldn't know he woke me up, and thankfully he bought it. I loved when Dean did things like this and I knew if I were awake, he wouldn't be this sweet.

"So what are we going to do about her?" Sam asked as Dean turned all the lights out. I opened my eyes a little and saw Dean take a seat across from Sam. It was hard to see in the darkness but the light from Sam's laptop gave enough light to make them out. "I don't know. We have to come up with something to tell her about Cas... she'll flip if she finds out the truth." He replied.

I would flip? Now I was definitely worried about what Cas was really doing. "I feel bad lying to her. She does deserve to know." Sam sighed.

"You don't think I feel bad, cause I do. We are protecting her Sam, and that is more important."

Sam closed his laptop a bit, pushing the screen down so he could look at Dean. "I get we are protecting her but what if something goes wrong? Cas could get seriously hurt, even killed, and she wouldn't even get to say goodbye to him. She would never forgive us."

"Look, we will tell her when the time is right. Cas is supposed to have something for us in a few days. We'll talk to him then, let him know we may have slipped up." Dean shrugged. I couldn't believe they were hiding something this big from me. Cas could die, what if I never got to see him again. My heart felt like it was shattering into a million pieces. "You mean _you _slipped up." Sam pointed out, pulling his laptop back up.

My mind was racing trying to figure out what Cas could be doing. Before it was taking on the souls, but I know he wouldn't be that stupid this time around, at least I hoped he wouldn't. "I'll fix it okay." Dean sighed. I tried to close my eyes and just think about anything else. Maybe I was dreaming, my imagination just playing tricks on me. That's what I kept telling myself anyways; cause there was no way this was actually happening.


	30. Chapter 30

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Humans are fragile creatures, made up of broken hearts and broken promises. I would love to run across someone one day that could honestly tell me they have never had their heart broken. Never felt that empty, sharp pain in their chest that only seemed to grow as the days went on. When I woke up this morning that exactly what I was, human, and I had the broken heart to prove it.

Somewhere in between taking a shower and doing my hair, I wasn't exactly sure what transformation I made but I found a way to build a wall to that broken heart. Pretend that last night had never happen and it was all a dream. Of course, I knew I was just kidding myself, but I wasn't about to ruin a perfectly good day. After all I was in a mall shopping, and I got to irritate Dean, which was always fun.

So far, he had turned down every outfit I tried on. No dresses, no skirts, it was tough, I'm not a pants wearing girl and that was what he kept pushing. After around 2 hours of trying on outfit after outfit, he finally approved of a dark blue pantsuit. When we returned to the motel, Sam had finished making me an F.B.I badge with my picture, nothing like the fake one I had picked up from the dollar store. To this day, I still wasn't sure how that man bought that badge as real but his problem I guess.

"Okay, don't lose this." Sam said as he handed me the fake badge. I couldn't do much but stare down in awe at it, I felt like such a badass. "I would never lose it. Do you have any faith in me?" I replied, shoving it in my jacket.

"I don't think we can even make a list of the things you have managed to lose." Dean commented, coming out of the bathroom dressed in his F.B.I attire. "Come on, let's get to the hospital, and check out those bodies. Sam you got research."

Dean and I piled in the Impala and made our way over to the hospital to talk to the coroner. When we got to the office, an older lady greeted us, probably in her 40's. Her red hair was put up in a loose bun and her red glasses seemed to be ready to fall off the tip of her nose.

"Hi. Special Agent Hicks, this is my partner Special Agent Ripley. We're here about the body with the creamy filling." Dean said as we flashed our badges. She waved her hand at the two chairs in front of her desk and we all took a seat. "Ah right. I didn't think you guys would have any interest in that." She replied.

"F.B.I ma'am, we never leave a stone unturned. Mind if we take a peek?" Dean asked giving her his usual boyish smile. She stared at him for a second before leaning back in her chair, and crossing her legs, "Of course not. I just need your signed chain of custody request and it's all yours."

"The what?" I asked giving her a weird look. Dean shot me a look that told me to keep my mouth shut, and I leaned back, looking down at the ground. "Chain of custody request? From your supervisor to mine?" She replied, raising an eyebrow at me.

Dean reached in his jacket pocket and pulled out a business card that I was sure had Bobby's number on it. "You know what, you wanna call my supervisor, I'm sure he can give you the override or whatever." He said, setting the card on the desk.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. Unless he can give me the form, I can't give you access to the body."

"But... F.B.I." I mumbled. If we couldn't look at the body then we had no leads, nothing at all to go on. "I understand dear. But paperwork is paperwork." She shrugged.

Dean leaned forward and suddenly stopped, closing his eyes. I stared at him confused as to why his sudden change and he just clenched his jaw and stood, nodding at Ms. O'Brien, "Thank you we will get that to you as soon as possible." He said, rushing out the door.

I stood and nodded to her, running after Dean. By the time I caught up with him we was already climbing in the car. "What was that?" I asked getting in the passenger seat. He reached down and started messing with his crotch and I turned my head towards the window, closing my eyes. "Dude!" I yelled, shaking my head.

"Sam did something. I need you to drive." He said looking over at me. When I looked back over, he was already out of the car, opening the passenger side door. He pushed me over until I was behind the wheel and he climbed in. "Dean, what is going on." I asked looking at him a bit concerned.

"I think Sam put laxatives in my coffee this morning." He mumbled, clenching his jaw again. At first, I was worried but once he said that I couldn't help but burst out laughing. "Just drive! And don't kill us." He yelled.

I composed myself long enough for us to get back to the motel, and Dean jumped out of the car, running into the room before I had even stopped the car. When I got in the room Dean was locked up in the bathroom and Sam was having a laughing attack, bent over the table.

"So exactly how much did you give him?" I asked taking a seat at the table with Sam.

He pulled a container out of his bag and shook it, showing it was empty. So Dean was gonna be in there for a while. "That's evil." I laughed, shaking my head.

"He started it." He shrugged, still smiling. I knew that just meant Dean was gonna do something a million times worse now, and probably a million times funnier. Next thing we know the room is gonna be filled with snakes or something.

I felt my phone go off in my pocket and I took it out, hiding it under the table. I didn't want Sam to ask me questions, I knew that would not end well. I already knew texted me, Jo and I had been doing some investigating on our own and she texted me everyday with stuff she found.

The day we saved everyone from Raphael, we tried to get Dean and everyone to go back and check out that sinkhole we had found but no one thought it was important. No one but Jo and me anyway. So, when we got home she texted me saying she was checking into it and she wanted my help.

She would research and she even sent some of her hunter friends down there to check it out. We both had a feeling there was something important there, not to mention we never even took care of whatever monster was there eating people.

_"S.O.S Riley and Sara haven't come back. They won't answer their phones either. I think whatever we left behind got em. I'm gonna go check it out with a few other people, let you know what I find." _The text read. That wasn't good, she couldn't go, obviously her other friends couldn't take care of it so made her think she could.

Part of me wondered if I should tell anyone; get her mom to go with her. I knew she wasn't the world greatest hunter, and whatever is there obviously isn't some bitch monster. Maybe I should just tell Sam, we could all go down there after this.

"Sam, so uh remember Luray when Jo and I told you guys about that sinkhole and stuff?" I asked putting my phone away. Jo may get mad at me but I would rather her live and I knew she wouldn't tell her mom.

"Yeah, what about it?" Sam asked lowering the laptop screen. I wasn't sure why I was so afraid to tell him, it wasn't like he was going to get mad or yell, but for some reason the words got stuck in my throat.

My phone buzzed again and I pulled it out and Jo texted me again. "_Call me A.S.A.P!" _I looked up at Sam and he was waiting for an answer but now I had no idea what to say.

"Uh, that was weird wasn't it?" I asked awkwardly. He gave me a confused look and I shoved my phone in my pocket standing up. "I'm gonna go call Cas... I miss him... I'll be outside." I rushed, practically running out of the room. I waited a few seconds to make sure Sam wasn't going to follow me and I dialed Jo's number.

"Hey. So Riley just called and he said Sara disappeared just like all the others, but he is fine. They couldn't find that hole and the house decided to go on vacation again. I'm getting ready to head over there." She said in a rush, probably packing her bag.

"Jo just wait, I don't think you guys should go alone. Whatever this is, it's strong. Not to mention whatever the hell is up with that house. Maybe we should tell Sam and Dean, get them to go back."

I heard her sigh and I knew she wasn't going to like the idea. "We tried to tell them before but they wouldn't listen."

"That was before your friend went missing. I think I can convince them." I replied. "At least tell your mom."

"Fine, I'll get my mom, but leave Sam and Dean out of it. They won't understand, they didn't the first time. I'll text you when we get there." She said before hanging up. No one here knew how to say goodbye I swear.

When I walked back into the room Dean was out of the bathroom, sitting at the table with Sam. They were obviously talking about whatever everyone was hiding from me because they shut up the second I walked in.

"So how's the big guy?" Dean asked, exchanging a look with Sam. I shrugged taking a seat on the couch. "Fine. The usual. Really busy." I replied, trying not to snap at him.

"Well don't get comfy, we're gonna go get some grub, I'm starving." Dean said standing up. "Dude seriously?" Sam muttered looking up at him.

"Got an empty tank now." Dean smiled, picking up the keys. "Gross." I yelled lying down on the couch. I wasn't hungry, I didn't even want to go anywhere. I just felt that wall I built up earlier crumbling down, and all those emotions rushing through me.

Sam stood and threw his jacket on, and they both stood staring at me, probably waiting for me to get up. "Go ahead, I'm not hungry." I muttered sitting back up.

"You're always hungry. Are you feelin' alright?" Sam asked looking at me concerned. "I'm fine mommy, I don't know, I'm just not hungry." I shrugged.

Sam and Dean exchanged a look and after fighting with them for 10 minutes, they finally just left and went to dinner, leaving me alone in the motel room. I wanted to call Cas but I didn't think I could take being lied to right now. I knew he wouldn't tell me the truth, or I would know what he was really doing by now. It sucks when the man that makes you want to bawl your eyes out is the one that you want to cry to.

I got up and went over to Sam's computer to see if maybe there was something on here that would give me a clue to what Cas was really doing, but mostly it was research on whatever we were hunting down now. There had be something though, so I started going through everything.

Sam's bag didn't have anything in it except clothes and his crap for the bathroom. Dean had clothes, porn, weapons, and all the normal things he would have. I did happen to find a few pictures though. One of his family, when him and Sam were still young, and his mom was still alive. A few of him and Sam, even Bobby. The last picture though was the one that surprised me. It was one I took forever ago, when I had first gotten here.

It was a picture of the three us at some lake in Michigan. We all seemed to be happier back then. I heard the impala pull up and I shoved the pictures back in Dean's bag, running over to the couch. I hadn't realized how much time I spent looking through everything.

Sam and Dean came in, both with an annoyed look on their face. "Come on Blondie, got a body." Dean said, waiting by the door. I hurried to my feet and followed Dean down to the car.

"Why isn't Sam coming?" I asked getting in the passenger seat. "He's gonna meet us there." He said irritated. I wondered if they had gotten in a fight, I hadn't seen Dean pissed like this in a while.

I didn't question him anymore and we sat in silence the whole way to the crime scene. "Okay, you got lead. Let's see how you do." He said as we came to stop in front of a bunch of flashing lights.

We got out and I took a deep breath walking over to the first officer I saw. "Hello. Agent Ripley, this is my partner—"

"Save it, your other Agent is over there." He said pointing towards where the body was. I gave a weird look to Dean and we walked over to find Sam standing there examining where the body used to be. "What took you guys so long?" He asked standing up.

"What the hell Sam? Did you take the Firebolt or something?" I asked looking at him confused; there was no way he got here before us. "The what?" Dean asked confused. I rolled my eyes and Sam cleared his throat.

"Jake Hill. Librarian." Sam said pointing to where the body used to be. All there was now was a bunch of guts on the ground. "Went missing yesterday, no relation to the other vic. Coroner already came in a scooped up was left of him."

Dean did not look happy Sam was here, and I was really starting to get worried about what happened at the diner. "Yeah we met her. Bit of a stickler. Well if there's no body, there's nothing else to see here. Why don't you just go back to the motel." Dean muttered.

"Still need to talk to the witnesses." Sam spat back. "Well we can handle that. Emma, why don't you go talk to the witnesses." Dean suggested giving me a small smile.

I knew that smile was complete bullshit. Something was going on. "No, I want know what's going on." I said crossing my arms. "Emma... now." Dean yelled. I stood there for a second before walking over to two kids sitting on a park bench.

"Hey, Agent Ripley, F.B.I." I said, flashing my badge "How about you tell me about what happened tonight."

After about 5 minutes, they had told me everything I needed to know and I walked back over to Sam and Dean, who still seemed to be fighting. "So the boys said they noticed something on the victims arm before it covered them in years of future therapy. Said it looked like a blue handprint."

"Sounds like something you should read about. In a book. At the motel." Dean spat at Sam. "I'm not leaving until we find whatever this is." Sam replied just as rude.

Dean scoffed and walked off back towards the impala. I really wanted to know what in the world they were fighting about. "Are you gonna tell me why you guys are fighting now?" I asked looking up at Sam. He gave me a look that told me to just drop it, so for now I guess I had to.

I heard the roar of the impala and looked over to see Dean already behind the wheel. "Is he leaving? Bitch, he is leaving!" I shouted, watching as he pulled away. "It's okay I stole a car. I think I know where he is going." Sam mumbled.

I followed Sam and he led the way to a shiny new Camaro. "Sam! Where the hell did you steal this thing?" I asked climbing in the passenger seat. "It was just sitting at the motel." He shrugged with a smile.

He sped off towards the hospital where the Coroner's office was, and I had to say I was already in love with this car. "So seriously, what's up with you Dean?" I asked staring at him.

"Uh, we just are having a disagreement. I want to tell someone something, but he doesn't. Not yet anyway." He said, keeping his eyes on the road. "Well what is it?" I asked, trying not to seem too pushy.

"Well, our friend... Chris, he's uh doing this dangerous job right now, and his girlfriend doesn't know about it. I think we should tell her, but Dean doesn't think it's such a good idea."

Chris, right. "Well I don't think she would appreciate being lied to." I said. Sam gave me a look that said he knew I knew. "Emma, look—"

"Save it Sam." I mumbled as we pulled up to the hospital. We got out, he handed me a pistol, and we made our way in. "Well Dean isn't here, we should probably wait." Sam sighed.

We waited sitting in silence for 10 minutes. It seemed like Sam wanted to say something but he couldn't find the words. I felt bad for snapping at him but I just thought it was crap that everyone was lying to me, I was stronger than I seemed. Finally, Dean came peaking through the door, getting scared half to death when we saw Sam and me standing there.

"What took you so long?" Sam asked with a smile. "I stopped for gas. Shut Up. Is the body in here?" He asked closing the door. Lights shined through the windows and we heard a car pull up. I ran down the hallway, looking out the window, and saw the coroner getting out of her car. "It's the coroner, I got this. Go check the bodies." I said running back down the hallway, stopping in front of them. They hesitated for a second before nodding, and they made their way towards the morgue.


	31. Chapter 31

After Sam and Dean ran off to the morgue, I took a deep breath and headed to Ms. O'Brien's office. She was standing at her filing cabinet, shifting through all her files. She must have heard me walking, cause I barely walked through the door when she turned around giving me a nasty look. "Hello. Hey there. Front door was open." I shrugged walking in.

"Oh. What... What are you doing here?" She stuttered, looking like a deer caught in headlights. For a second I would have almost thought she was more scared than I was. "I uh... came back to get a blank copy of that form you asked for." I shrugged, letting out an awkward laugh.

"The F.B.I doesn't have a chain of custody form?" She asked closing her filing cabinet. "The field office had a power outage, can't send one over. Figured I could just borrow a copy or two." I smiled.

She stared at me for a second before nodding and looking through her files. I had hoped Sam and Dean were busy looking over the bodies, I didn't know how long I could stall. She pulled out a copy of the form from her desk and handed it to me with a smile. "Great, perfect. Thank you." I said giving her another smile.

"Well, if you'll excuse me, I have some work to do in the morgue." She muttered, starting for the door. I blocked her way, standing in the doorway, fidgeting with the piece of paper. "Can I ask you a personal question? I am new to the whole suit thing, and yours is amazing. Where do you get them?"

She looked down at what she was wearing and back at mine and she must have agreed I could use some help with the face she was making. "There is a place just off highway 89. Hannaford's. All you need are three jackets, three pairs of pants, and you are all set. Never get blue it makes you look older."

"So simple, so smart. You should write a book or something." I laughed. "Okay, I'll get right on that." She mumbled pushing past me into the hallway. I chased after her, trying to keep up. "So what about shoes? I can never find the right kind to go with—"

"Okay, I'm sorry but I'm not a stylist." She snapped, cutting me off, stopping just outside the morgue. I looked in through the windows and I didn't see Sam or Dean so they must have gotten what they needed. "Uh. Well, Thanks for the forms, and the fashion advice. Uh, Okay... bye." I smiled and ran back outside.

I found Sam and Dean sitting in the impala at the far end of the parking lot and I ran over climbing in. "So what did you find?" I asked out of breath. "Nothing they burned the bodies. CDC thinks it is some sort of outbreak." Sam replied looking at pictures on his phone.

When we got back to the motel room, Dean pulled out their dad's journal and Sam started researching things online. "Rugaru?" I asked taking a seat on the bed.

"No they consume human flesh." Sam said, clicking through his computer. "Shapeshifter?"

"They don't turn their insides to jelly... do they?" I asked pulling over a pillow. Sam shook his head and ran his hand down his face. It was safe to say we were completely lost at what this was.

"Wait a second. Djinn." Dean said with a smile. "Djinn vics don't get liquefied." Sam replied, giving him a weird look.

"No, not regular Djinn. According to this, there's a bastard offshoot. Uh, their eyes light up blue, they pass as humans, all that regular jazz. Except these leave their victims with jelly like insides and supposedly when they poison their victims they leave behind a blue handprint." He smiles, slamming his hand down on the journal.

Sam closed his laptop and pulled their dad's journal over, reading the passage Dean had found. "So these things die like regular Djinn?" Sam asked while reading. "Silver blade dipped in lambs blood, yeah. And now we just gotta find the asshat." He replied.

"Well breakthrough means break time and I wanna stretch my legs. I'm gonna go take a walk, call Cas." I said getting up. Dean gave me a look that told me not to go far and I made my way down to the parking lot, stopping by the impala.

I closed my eyes and prayed for Cas. I actually did want to see him, it had been a day or two since we spoke and even though this was probably going to end in me yelling at him, I didn't care anymore, I just wanted him.

Halfway through my prayer I heard a noise coming from the other end of the parking lot. I half expected a monster to jump out but it was just a stray cat running across the parking lot and into a bush. I heard the cat whine as if it had been hurt, so I went over to look. I found the poor cat lying down in the bush, shaking, from what I could tell he wasn't hurt.

I picked up the little guy and he instantly started purring. I just imagined bringing him back inside and him accompanying us on all our hunts. Team free will gets a kitten mascot.

All those thoughts made me laugh a little too much but I decided I would bring him back to the room just to piss Dean off. When I turned around, Ms. Obrien was standing behind me, her eyes glowing blue. I saw her raise a hand before she struck me and I passed out.

When I woke up, I was tied to chair, sitting in what looked like an abandoned warehouse. I tried to get myself out of the ropes but they were too tight. "You're not going anywhere." I heard a voice say from behind me. Ms. Obrien rounded the chair still she was stopped in front of me. "You know what I smell on you?" She asked cocking her head.

"Victoria Secret? A little, pee maybe?" I said trying to keep calm. I wonder if Sam and Dean knew by now. I'm sure they knew I was gone but how would they ever find me, we didn't even suspect the coroner. "Fear. I smell fear." She replied, raising a brow at me.

"Djinns smell fear? I thought you guys just fed off souls or something like that." I stuttered. "Well, well. If you know about Djinn, then you and your little friend are hunters, not F.B.I." She said angrily.

"I'm more of a beginner, not worth killing just yet." I laughed awkwardly. She started to roll up her sleeve, with a smile and obviously there was no talking my way out of this. "Oh but you are worth killing. See my kind, we prefer a more bitter taste to blood than the run of the mill Djinn. We prefer the taste of fear, and when I caught a whiff of you at that morgue, such delicious fear inside of you, I followed your sent. I knew you'd make a great meal."

I stared at her confused, and she reached her hand down and clasped it around my arm, burning my skin. I tried to pull away but it was useless. Blue tattoos began to light up on her arm. The burning started to get worse until I couldn't take it anymore and I passed out.

I woke up back in the same chair I passed out in only now the ropes were cut. I stood up and starting walking the best I could but I was so dizzy I almost fell over. I found Ms. Obrien lying on the floor, dead. Someone must have come to save me, but why would they leave. I started to make my out of the warehouse when I heard a noise from behind me.

I knew I probably shouldn't have turned around but someone was obviously in here, what if it was Sam and Dean. I followed the noise until I came to a large room, and found Cas leaning over on a wall, out of breath. I ran over to him and wrapped my arms around his waist. I was so happy to see him.

He raised his fingers to my forehead and fixed my dizziness. "You need to get out of here. Now." He said pulling me off him. "No, I'm not leaving with out you." I replied, looking up at him confused.

I heard the sound of wings fill the room and I turned around to find Raphael in the middle of the room. "Emma, run... now!" Cas yelled pushing me towards the door. He stood up straight and his blade slid out of his sleeve and into his hand.

I should have ran, I knew that but I couldn't leave Cas, I just couldn't. Raphael raised his hand and sent Cas flying back into the wall. Raphael turned to face me, and I knew it was time to run. I tried to make the door but Raphael had it closed before I even got close. I backed up against the wall and watched as he pulled out his angel blade with a smile.

"You have no idea how long I've been waiting for this." He said, twisting the knife in his hand. He started to get closer and closer and I just closed my eyes waiting to feel the blade pierce my heart. I felt something push up against me and I opened my eyes to find Cas standing in front of me, pinning me up against the wall.

Blood started to seep through Cas's shirt and he stumbled back a few steps. I caught him before he fell and I sat down on the ground holding him. I looked around but we were alone, Raphael was gone. "Okay Cas just hold on you're going to be okay, alright." I said, tears streaming down my face. I took off my jacket and held it up to the wound, to stop the bleeding.

"Emma, you need to get out of here, he might come back." Cas mumbled weakly. I shook my head and just pressed harder on the wound, this was not happening. Cas was not going to die. "I'm not leaving you, he can come back I really don't care." I cried, staring down at him.

How did this happen, I was supposed to have more time with him, more time to stop him from doing something stupid. Not wake up and have him leave me. He reached his hand up to mine and squeezed the best he could. "No you stay with me okay, It's... its just a small wound, you're fine okay." I kept repeating.

"I just want you to know something," He whispered, closing his eyes, "If I had to... I would do it all over again." He said, a small smile forming on his face. I tried to say something but the words started to get choked up in my throat. I couldn't do anything but cry.

"I love you Cas. I love you so much." I whispered, running my hand through his hair. "I love you..." He whispered back, his grip on my hand loosening. I watched as the smile slowly faded off his face, and he was lying lifeless in my arms.

The tears wouldn't stop coming, I laid my head down on his chest and I felt my heart break over and over. Cas wasn't gone, he couldn't be gone. This was just a bad dream. I closed my eyes over and over but no matter how many times I opened them, nothing changed.

All the moments Cas and I spent together just flashed through my mind, and it only made me cry harder. Paris, Alaska, the beach. Teaching him to play flappy bird, the night we spent together. It just was too much. I heard the sound of wings fill the room and I turned around to see Raphael standing behind me.

He stood with his blade in his hand, ready to finish what he had come here to do obviously. I turned back to look at Cas and just closed my eyes waiting. I didn't want to fight, I didn't want to do anything. I heard his footsteps come towards me and I laid my head down on Cas, waiting for the blow. He stopped right behind me and I looked at Cas one more time before I felt the blade push through my back.

"Emma, hey... wake up." I heard a voice, and felt a hand shake me. I opened my eyes to see Dean standing in front of me. "Dean? What are you doing in hell?" I asked standing up. I almost fell over from the dizziness once again, but Dean managed to catch me.

"Hell? No Emma, we're in you're head. You got taken by the Djinn. The coroner, remember? Djinn usually take you to you're happy place... uh no judgment, but you got a really strange sense of happy blondie."

I stared at him confused for a second before it finally clicked in my head, "No. Jenifer said that her kind feeds off fear. This isn't my happy place, this is my worst nightmare."

He gave me a confused look at and I took off down the hallway, going towards the room I knew Cas would be in. "Where are you going we need to get out of here." He said, chasing after me.

"Yeah, and how do we do that?" I asked, stopping and facing him. "I don't know. We gave you the antidote, but it didn't take." He shrugged. I rolled my eyes and kept walking, ignoring him yelling my name.

"Maybe if we find a way out of here we can—"

"Look... I don't know how long I have been passed out but I've already done everything I could to try to get out of here. Every time it ends the exact same way. Me dying. Then I wake back up in that chair to do it all over again." I muttered stopping again. Dean gave me a confused look and I let out a long sigh.

"Every time I think I save Cas, Raphael always appears and kills us both and I wake back up in that chair. Only every time I wake up, the way it happens is different, so I never have an advantage." I said, trying to hold back the tears.

"Wait, Raphael kills you and Cas?" He asked confused. I started walking towards the room Cas was supposed to be in and on the way I explained what happened every time I woke up. I walked in to the room and Cas was leaned up against the wall as he normally was.

I started to run over to Cas when Dean grabbed my arm and kept me from going. "Wait, you said we're stuck in a loop right? But out there in the real world, you're dying, and I might be too. We gotta find a way to break this loop."

"Yeah and how do you expect to do that? I've tried everything." I snapped, looking back at him. "I think the only way out is to... let go." He shrugged, letting go of my arm.

Let go? Did he expect me to just let Cas die, with out even trying? "I'm not going to let him die Dean. I'm gonna beat Raphael, eventually." I yelled, tears streaming down my face.

"Listen to me, this poison, it's designed to put your mind into an endless cycle while your insides turn to mush, okay and it's fuel is fear. Now call me crazy, but I think the only way to break the cycle is to let go of the fear and stop trying to save him."

I shook my head at him, he was crazy. I tried to walk over to Cas but he grabbed my arm again, pushing me into the wall. "I know that your fear is creating all of this. You're not afraid of Raphael and not afraid of dying." He said, his voice getting rough. I looked over at Cas and I felt more tears run down my face.

"Hey, look at me." Dean snapped, grabbing my chin and making me look at him, "I know you're afraid of losing him Emma, I get that, but nothing is going to happen to him."

"No you don't understand okay. I heard you the other night, you and Sam. Talking about what Cas is really out their doing. That he could die and I would never get to see him again." I yelled pushing him away.

He looked like his heart just broke and I could tell he was horrified I heard them. "Tell me what he is doing. What he is really doing." I yelled, wiping the tears away. Dean hesitated for a second before running his hand down his face.

"He's... he may have found a way to blow up the door when Raphael opens it." He said, shrugging. That was it; I didn't understand how that was so bad. "But if he can blow up the door isn't that a good thing? How would that put him in danger now?" I asked confused.

"Because, he has to go to purgatory to do it. He's actually already there now. He has to be on the other side of the door when it opens, and blowing up the door might kill him."

Cas was in purgatory, right now. They almost died there, and Cas has none of his powers down there. He couldn't even get out unless he was human, and that was if he could find the door out. "Cas could die down there." I muttered, staring at the ground.

"I know, but he won't he's smart and he has everything you showed him to get him through it."

"Do you not get it? Cas can't get out unless he is a human. The only reason he gets out the first time is because Naomi sent angels to go get him and a lot of them died just to do it. I mean, leviathans are there still. Is... Is that why he didn't come when I called?" I asked, looking up at Dean and he just shrugged.

How could they let him go to Purgatory? Sure, he could come out completely fine but it was a fifty fifty chance. That's why Sam said if he died I would never get to see him again. I wouldn't even get to see his body. I knew I wouldn't get what I got here if he died, not to mention if he actually got stabbed with a blade he would just die, not slowly bleed to death.

I couldn't do it though. I knew I was only in my brain but I couldn't stop trying to save him. "Emma, you have to let him go. It's the only way to break this." He said with a sigh. "If that was Sam could you let him go? Could you just watch him die, and not even try to save him?" I asked trying to speak through the tears.

"I get it okay, I do, but I would also know that it's not Sam. You need to realize that is not Cas. Cas is still out there, and if you don't stop this loop you will never see him again. You won't see any of us again."

I stared at Cas and Raphael appeared behind him, blade in his hand. My heart stopped and looked back at Dean. The right choice is obvious, but it's hard to just let go, hard to just let the man you love die. "Hey, when we get out of here we'll get Cas back, okay. We will pull his ass out of purgatory and lock him up if we have to, but we can't get him back unless you get us out of here."

"I just want him to know I love him. I want him to be safe."

"I know. Believe me, I know. You gotta let it go though." He said. I looked over at Cas. Raphael raised the blade and I closed my eyes, telling myself it was okay. That I was going to see him again, but I couldn't be afraid anymore.

When I opened my eyes I was back in the chair, only now Sam and Dean were standing in front of me. "I'm sorry." Dean said broken hearted. I started to bawl my eyes out and Dean came over pulling me into a hug. I guess in the end it is inevitable, Cas is going to die at one point or another, but I'll be damned if it's while I am still alive.


	32. Chapter 32

Sometimes we expect more from people because we are willing to do that much for them. I could try to wrap my brain around everyone hiding things from me, but no matter how hard I try, I can't understand. Sam and Dean had told me everyone was just trying to protect me, but protect me from what? I am not a little girl, I am part of this family, and I deserve to know things.

It has been a week since we got back from hunting the Djinn and so far, I have done absolutely nothing. Most days I would just lie on the couch or stay in bed. I had no motivation to do anything. Most nights I couldn't sleep since it seemed all I could do was have nightmares, so that didn't help me want to do anything.

Sam and Dean have been spending the week trying to track down but Cas but no one could find him, he was in purgatory though so, I wasn't that surprised, but Dean was determined to keep his promise of getting Cas back. He tried to summon him, pull him to us, I even called Gabriel, but he never answered.

I knew there was a perfectly good chance Cas could come out perfectly fine and maybe I was blowing this all out of proportion. Okay, I know I am blowing it out of proportion, but that is just who I am. I overthink absolutely everything, and make everything into a big deal, but oh well. He could also very well die down there. His powers would be lessened, he would be out numbered, not to mention he couldn't just zap out of there and unless he was human he wouldn't be walking out through the door.

Dean mentioned that Cas said he would be able to go down there, get everything ready, and be back in a few days. So far, it has been over a week so I was just a bit worried and I could tell Sam and Dean were as well. If just worrying about him coming back wasn't bad enough, he had to go back down there the night of the lunar eclipse to complete the spell and lock purgatory forever, possibly dying in the process.

Jo had called a few days ago to let me know she was okay, and her and her friends found the monster. Something called a Vetala. She was going back to check out the house but I haven't heard from her in a day so I was guessing she hadn't found anything yet.

Today was another one of those days when I did nothing but stay in bed. It was already two in the afternoon and all I've managed to do was roll over. I tried to tell myself to stop feeling sorry for myself and suck it up, but it was easier said than done. There was a light knock on the door and I saw Dean peek his head around, seeing if I was up.

"Come on scoot over." Dean said walking over to the bed. I moved to the edge of the bed and he took a seat next to me. "You can't live in here forever blondie. We got burgers down stairs and I hear one calling your name." He smiled, trying to lighten the mood.

When I didn't say anything he let out a long sigh and stood up staring down at me. "Okay, either get your midget ass out of this bed or I'm carrying you down there myself. You're not locking yourself up in here anymore."

I crawled under the covers and I heard Dean's footsteps round the bed. He grabbed the blanket and pulled it off, looking down at me raising his brow. I rolled over burying my face in my pillow, ignoring him and he bent down and picked me up, pinning me to his chest.

"Let me go." I yelled, trying to push away from him, but he was too strong. He carried me down stairs and threw me down on the couch. "Well good afternoon." Sam said giggling. I sat up and shot him a nasty look, curling up on the couch.

"Okay, no more of this depressed moping around." Dean said walking into the kitchen. He brought back a burger and set it down in front of me, taking a seat on the coffee table. "So this is how it's going to go. Bobby is out with Jody and Sam and me need to run out for an hour or so... so you are going to stay down here, eat this and when we get back, we are going on a tiny vacation."

"I don't want to go anywhere." I spat, pushing the burger away.

"Yes you do, and I'm spending a lot of money on this so you're going." Dean said moving the burger back in front of me. "Now we will back soon, call us if you need us. And if I get back and you're up in the bed again, I'm gonna kick your ass."

He gave me a kiss on the head and him and Sam left, leaving me alone. I stared at the burger for half a second before setting it on the coffee table and grabbing the remote. I turned on the TV and flipped through until I found Psych on.

Watching Shawn and Gus run around being stupid was actually starting to cheer me up. I even got hungry half way through which would make Dean happy since I ate my burger he got me. I was just starting to doze off to sleep when I heard a loud crash in the kitchen, scaring me awake.

I grabbed the pistol Dean left for me and ran into the kitchen, only to find the one thing I would never expect to be there. Cas. He was bloody from head to toe, had cuts and stab wounds on almost every inch of his body. I felt my heart stop and I heard the pistol hit the ground.

I ran over to him and helped him to his feet, and he could barely walk. I helped him hobble over to couch and he slumped down in pain. I got the first aid kit from the kitchen and sat down next to Cas, unbuttoning his shirt.

I wanted to say something but I couldn't mumble out a single word. I felt the tears starting to rush down my face as I started to clean up his wounds. "I will be fine, don't worry." He muttered, wincing as I tended to his cuts.

"Don't worry?" I laughed lowly, shaking my head. Don't worry I just popped up after a week of purgatory, almost dead, but don't worry. I wanted to just slap him across the face and beat him to a bloody pulp, but at the same time, I wanted to hug him and never let go.

"How did you even get out of there?" I asked, wiping away the tears and getting some bandages out of the kit. "Balthazar sent some of the angels to get me." He replied staring at me. I couldn't believe him right now, he was acting like it was nothing.

I finished cleaning and bandaging him up and started to pick up all the dirty rags. "You're angry." He said, sitting up a little more. I stopped cleaning up and looked over at him, tears still streaming down my face. "I don't think angry can even cover it." I replied.

The door opened and closed, and Sam and Dean came around the corner, stopping in their tracks when they laid eyes on Cas. "Dude, you're... you okay?" Sam asked running over and taking a seat on the couch.

Cas nodded but didn't take his eyes off me. There was so much I wanted to say to him, but I felt like no amount of words could express how I felt right now. I finished picking up the rags and started to walk out when Cas got to his feet as fast as could running over and grabbing my arm.

"Emma please, if you would just allow me to—"

"You know what no Cas. I don't want to hear it." I yelled interrupting him. I yanked my arm away and stared down at the ground. "Do you know how worried I've been about you? Did you even think about how I would feel before you just ran off to purgatory?" I screamed, crying even harder.

Cas was about to give me a hug when Dean came over and stopped him, shaking his head. "Come on, let's go get some fresh air. Sam take care of Cas." Dean said pushing me in the kitchen and out the back the door.

I walked out into the junkyard and leaned up against a car, trying to calm down. I had been waiting over a week to finally see Cas again and I knew I should have been happy but really all I wanted to do was crawl into a hole. "Hey, hey... Calm down." Dean said grabbing my shoulders and pulling me into a hug.

"I don't know what to do Dean, I just don't." I cried, burying my head in his chest. He held me for a few minutes before I pulled away and wiped my eyes. "You're gonna have to talk to him." He said, as I took a seat on the hood of a car.

"I know I just need time." I said, pulling my legs to my chest. I wanted to talk to Cas, and there was a million things I wanted to ask him, but surprisingly not one of them did I really want the answer to. I just wanted to forget everything, go back to when everything was simple.

"Well don't take too much time." He said, taking a seat next to me on the hood. "I understand where you're coming from, I do. All the times Sam went behind my back, it ain't easy to just get over. But you just gotta tell yourself he's safe and that's all that matters, not to mention now we have a leg up on Raphael."

No one around here seemed to understand anything, it was all about Raphael and purgatory, screw feelings or people dying. I know they all hated getting in touch with their feelings but not to even care at all? "You do understand you said he had to be on the other side of the door when it opened correct? That means he has to go back. Look how screwed up he came back this time."

Dean didn't say anything, he just fidgeted with his hands, staring down at the ground. He knew I was right, and now he had nothing to say. "What if... what if I told you me and Sam may have a way to fix that."

"What do you mean? Fix it how?" I asked confused. I was a little excited to think that Cas wouldn't have to go back down to purgatory but what plan could they possibly have. "Well if we got someone else to go down and perform the spell, then Cas wouldn't need to go on his suicide mission." He said looking over at me.

It was a great idea only we didn't know anyone who would just willingly stroll into purgatory and possibly kill themselves. "Okay, but who?"

Dean hesitated for a second before letting out a long sigh, "We were thinking Crowley." He muttered, moving his eyes back to the ground.

"Crowley? The king of hell who started the whole breaking into purgatory thing. Great idea, that's not going to back fire in any possible way." I replied, giving Dean a weird look. Crowley is dead and that is how it should stay, even if we brought him back I doubt he would help. Breaking into purgatory was exactly what he wanted.

"Just listen snappy. Crowley doesn't know about the door, and even if he does he isn't human and he can't just get through the door or get demons to go get him. We give him the option to help us or I put another bullet through his head. We'll make a deal, and he always says he is man of his word." Dean said confidently.

"I don't know Dean, I don't think it's a good idea. Crowley tends to go back on many of his deals. He finds little loopholes and that could blow up in our face so fast." I said stretching out my legs.

I couldn't believe Dean wanted to bring Crowley back. I loved the idea of having someone else close purgatory forever, and Cas staying perfectly safe, but I definitely didn't think Crowley was the answer. "Well, just go talk to Cas, and we will work it all out later when Bobby come home." Dean said patting my back.

I guess I couldn't put off Cas forever. I hesitated for a second before finally getting up and going into the house. When I got to the living room, Sam stood from the couch and gave me a small smile before going to join Dean outside.

Cas stared at me as I took a seat next to him on the couch, and I was still so angry with him. I knew deep down I wasn't so much as angry at him as I was hurt, but it's a lot easier to be angry at someone than it is to tell them you're hurt.

"I'm sorry Emma." He muttered moving his eyes to the wall.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked softly, staring down at the couch.

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, shaking his head. "Truthfully... I was afraid." He muttered, looking over at me. "I was afraid to say goodbye to you, and I knew if something went wrong I might very well never see you again and I would have rather you had a good memory of me than you yelling at me which I'm sure you would have done if I had told you the truth."

"So you just assumed I wouldn't have wanted to know? You had no right to make that decision." I replied, trying to fight back the tears. "How did you even come up with this plan? Obviously you didn't know about the spell the first time, so how did you find out about this?"

"When we were helping Eleanor go into hiding, she mentioned a spell that could close purgatory forever." He replied. I completely forgot about Eleanor. If Cas had hidden her, though then Raphael wouldn't have been able to get blood of a native and he wouldn't be able to do the spell anyway. "Why did you think that this would be such a good idea?" I asked confused, trying to wrap my brain around this.

"I thought it was better than letting anyone take on the souls."

"Yeah just kill yourself because that is so much better." I yelled, "What would I do if you died Cas? How is that fair to me? Do you even—" I was cut off by Cas pressing his lips against mine roughly, and tangling his hands in my hair.

I melted after that, all my anger, all my sadness just melted away, and my heart started to beat out my chest. I pulled away and looked down at the couch, biting my lip. "What?" He asked, squinting his eyes at me.

"Cas... I want to ask a favor of you." I said nervously, looking up at him. He didn't say anything so I took a deep breath and continued, "I want you to erase my memories. Well not erase them exactly but... alter them I guess."

"Why would you ask me to do that?" He asked angrily.

"Before you freak out, I've thought a lot about this. This last week has been the hardest week of my life and I just don't want this anymore. I don't want to remember what Crowley did, or me having to relive your death a million times, or everyone lying to me. Everything that has happened, it has changed me and I hate it. I just want to be that crazy happy girl I used to be and you can make that happen."

He sat up straight and stared down at me, his brows coming together. I couldn't tell if he was angry or confused, but he was definitely unhappy. "Emma, I think we should think about this first."

"I have thought about it. I have done nothing but think about it all week, besides worrying about whether you were alive or not. I'm angry all the time, I don't even want to get out of bed anymore. Harry Potter was on the other day and I felt nothing. Nothing. That is unnatural. I just want to be happy again Cas."

He grabbed my hand, and pulled me into a hug, resting his chin on my head. "You could erase what Crowley did to me, and what happen with the Djinn. You can make it so I never knew you went to purgatory, and I could just be happy again." I sighed closing my eyes and resting my head on his chest.

"Let's talk to Dean first, and if he agrees than... I suppose I could manage to do that." He muttered. I looked up and kissed him, forcing a smile. "Thank you." I said before getting up and going to get Sam and Dean.

After about an hour of explaining everything to Sam and Dean, and working out what he would change my memories to, Dean finally agreed to let Cas alter my mind. Him and Sam actually thought it could be a good thing, me being back to my crazy self, and I couldn't agree more.

Once we got everything settled, I took a seat back on the couch and got ready to sleep for a few days. Cas started to raise his fingers to my head and I felt like a weight was starting to lift off my shoulders. "I love you." I mumbled and his hand stopped mid air. "I'll see you when you wake up." He replied with a small smile on his face.

"Are you ever going to say it back?"

"No." He said, his face back to being emotionless. He placed his fingers on my head and a bunch of images started to flash through my head before everything went black and I passed out.


	33. Chapter 33

**Hey guys sorry it has taken me so long to update, I have a lot of things going on right now.**

**The next few chapters will probably be out every week instead of every other day. **

**Thanks for all the reviews/favs/follows 3**

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I felt the bed shift, and the other side of the bed suddenly got lighter. When I opened my eyes, I saw Cas standing next to the bed, his back to me. The sun was shining bright in the room and he obviously thought the same thing as he grabbed the curtains and pulled them closed. He lingered at the window for a second before turning around and walking back over to the bed.

"Oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." He said as he took a seat on the edge of the bed. I shook my head and smiled at him, pulling the covers up over my shoulders. "You didn't. What time is it?" I asked staring up at him.

"I believe sometime after 7. How are you feeling?" He asked brushing the hair out my face. For once, I was actually feeling amazing. I nodded at him, giving him a smile and wrapping his tie around my hand, pulling him to me. "I'm great." I said pressing my lips to his.

I pulled off his trench coat throwing it on the ground, and begun to take off his suit jacket when he suddenly pulled away, staring down at me. "Emma, I'm not sure of this is such a good idea." He mumbled as I started to kiss his neck. "Everyone is down stairs and I thought you did not like promoting our relationship."

"It will be fine, we will be quiet." I giggled pulling off his jacket and unbuttoning his shirt. "Well last time you were quite vocal and I don't want them to—"

I cut him off with my lips finding his and I could feel how tense his body was. He was seriously freaking out about this, and it was starting to kill my mood. After a few minutes, though he started to relax and a few minutes after that he was more driven than I was.

I managed to stay relatively quiet the whole time, at least quiet enough to not let anyone downstairs hear. After everything, I took a shower, threw on my favorite baby doll dress, and bounced downstairs where Cas was already waiting. Today was going to be a good day I could just feel it.

Everyone was already up in the living room and I wasn't that surprised, most of the time I swore none of them slept, they were like vampires. "Look at you blondie. Showered and dressed. It's nice to see you out of those sweats." Dean smiled, giving me a hug.

"I was sick, it wasn't like I was gonna walk around in heels." I replied, letting out a tiny laugh. I saw Dean give Sam a look as I took a seat on the couch, "What?" I asked looking between the two.

"We are just happy you're feeling better." Sam said with a smile, turning his attention back to his laptop. He seemed more interested in his laptop than usual, and that is saying something. "Whatcha working on over there?" I asked staring at Sam.

Sam looked over a Dean before shaking his head and shrugging. "Just looking for some jobs." He smiled looking back down at his laptop. I rolled my eyes and turned on the TV ignoring his obvious lie. I didn't feel like fighting them on anything today.

"So where is Bobby? I feel like is always M.I.A lately." I asked looking around. "He's down in the panic room, working on something." Dean replied not pulling his eyes off the TV. I got up and started to walk to the basement to go see Bobby when Cas suddenly blocked my way.

"Excuse me?" I asked confused trying to get around Cas, but no matter how I moved, he kept standing in my way. "Don't go down there, he's busy. He'll be back up in a little while." Dean said from behind me.

I turned around and Sam and Dean were already to their feet, staring nervously at me. "Guys, it's just Bobby, like chill." I said, confused as to why they were so defensive of me going down there. "Is there some secret league of doom meeting down there I wasn't invited to?"

"No, he's just busy and he ain't in a good mood. Uh, how about we go and get some breakfast. I'm starving." Dean smiled picking up his keys off the coffee table. I stared at him for a second, Sam kept giving me this cheesy smile, and it was obvious they were hiding something. Later I would have to go sneak down there and figure out what it was.

I followed Dean out the impala and we headed off to go get breakfast. He stopped off at a diner not 10 minutes away from Bobby's and ran in to go get the food.

Once he was out of the car, I started flipping through the radio stations and stopped on Party Rock Anthem, and instantly broke out singing. I was so into singing I didn't even realize Dean had joined me back in the car and was staring at me unamused.

"What the hell are you listening to?" He asked raising a brow at me. I smiled and just kept singing until he hit the nob and turned the radio off. "Dean, that song is my jam!" I yelled disappointed. He shoved the bag of food in my lap and shook his head.

"Don't touch the radio." He said pulling out of the parking lot. "You're so lame." I muttered staring out the window. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught Dean smiling but as usual, his smile didn't last but a few seconds.

When we got back to Bobby's we all sat down and ate, laughing, joking around, it was great. Bobby came up after a few hours to say hello and he pulled Sam and Dean outside to talk to them. At that moment, I was tempted to run down to the basement but Cas was with me and I knew I wouldn't get very far. I was going to have to be ninja about sneaking down there, which meant after everyone was asleep. I just had to figure out what to do with Cas.

The rest of he day we just sat around watching TV and Sam let me borrow his computer for a while so I decided to make a tumblr. I lost so much track of time on there, Sam had to pry his computer from me just so I would go to bed. I made sure to stay up long enough to see everyone else go to bed with me and I waited a few hours before making my move to go to the basement.

I knew Cas was in the basement protecting whatever it was so I had to go send him somewhere. I walked as quietly as I could down stairs and peeked in the living room to see Dean passed out on the couch and I made my way down to the basement, and just as I had expected Cas was standing outside of the panic room door.

"What are you doing down here Emma?" He asked angrily, meeting me at the bottom of the stairs. I got up on my toes and started to kiss him, running my fingers through his hair. I had to think of a way to get him to leave and sadly, I hadn't come up with one idea all day. I felt bad about using him, but I was too nosy to care right about now. "I need you to get something for me." I said as I pulled away smiling up at him.

"What do you need?" He asked, all the anger in his voice gone. "I need... Norwegian chocolate." I said completely serious. I was a little disappointed in myself that I couldn't come up with something better but I couldn't exactly take it back. He stared at me confused and I was sure he probably saw straight thought my act but I had no idea how to get Cas to leave, not with out banishing him.

"You want me to go to Norway to get you chocolate? Why don't you eat the chocolate in the kitchen? Why are you up right now anyway?"

"I'm..." I started but I had no idea, I really did not think anything through. "I'm on my period and I can only eat Norwegian chocolate, because it makes my cramps go away... Which is why I'm up." I nodded awkwardly, trying not to break my serious face. "I would go with you but I'm in so much pain."

"Well I'm sure I can fix that." He said bringing two fingers to my forehead. "Nope still in pain. Can't you just go get me some chocolate? Pretty please." I begged, giving Cas puppy dog eyes.

He sighed and zapped us back to my room up stairs, telling me to wait there for him. He said he would only be 10 minutes so I didn't have much time, although I was surprised he expected to take that long.

I ran back down stairs after he left and checked to make sure Dean was still sleeping and made my way down to the basement. I hesitated for a second before opening the panic room door and finding Crowley sitting in the middle of a devils trap, chained to a chair.

"Hello darling. Didn't think I'd be seeing you again for a while." He smirked. "What are you doing down here?" I asked confused, walking into the room more. I didn't see why Crowley was such a big secret. I knew we had him captured, I just thought he was up at Rufus's cabin.

"Having a tea party. Care to join?" He replied, tilting his head at me. "Something is different with you. What happened?" He asked looking me up and down.

"Nothing?" I replied confused, shrugging. I looked down at myself, and he let out a laugh, shaking his head. "In your noggin ducky. You don't seem afraid of me." He said raising an eyebrow.

"Should I be afraid of you?" I asked crossing my arms. I probably should have been afraid of him but I loved Crowley, mostly all I wanted to do was sit down and talk to him for hours. "Tell me something love, do you remember our amazing 6 months together?" He asked, squinting his eyes at me.

I racked my brain trying to think of spending any time with Crowley but nothing came to mind. The last time I remember seeing him it was because he was giving us the colt to try to kill Lucifer with. "I'll take that as a no then... Interesting." He muttered after a minute or so of silence.

I heard the sound of wings fill the room and Cas was standing a few feet away, his face full of worry. "Castiel. How nice of you to join us." Crowley muttered, a small smirk on his face. Cas stared at him for a second and he looked as if he was doing everything he could not to smite Crowley right then and there.

He grabbed my wrist and drug me out to the basement, locking the panic room behind him. "So where is my chocolate?" I asked, trying to avoid getting yelled at. I was surprised though when he pulled me into a tight hug. I was expecting him to be angry with me but he seemed more relieved than thing.

"I should have known it was all a trick." He muttered after he let me go. I smiled up at him and laughed, he was so cute when he got pouty. "In my defense, I really did want chocolate and Norwegian chocolate is the best chocolate." I shrugged.

"Well I won't be falling for that again. What did he say to you?" He asked as he zapped us back to my room upstairs. I took a seat on the bed, and shrugged, "Nothing just hey, and something about 6 months with him? I don't know, I think he is tripping balls or something because I think I would remember that." I laughed looking up at him.

After I said that Cas seemed to relax a bit and a small smile came across his face. "Yes I believe you would remember that as well." He said pulling me off the bed and smashing his lips against mine.

In no time at all, we were back on the bed and in the same position we were in earlier. For some reason it was a lot harder to keep quiet this time, but we managed not to wake anyone up.

I laid my head down on his chest, and wrapped the blanket around me, taking a deep breath. Cas's hand started to rub my back as he always did, and I found it hard not to fall asleep. "Why did you all hide Crowley?" I asked looking up at him. "It's not a huge secret. I know you guys captured him and are trying to get him to close purgatory... So why all the secrecy that he was in the basement?"

"It wasn't Sam and Deans fault, I wanted to keep you uninformed that we had moved him here. I didn't want you to see him. " He muttered, staring up at the ceiling. "Why." I asked propping myself up on my shoulder. I mean I know Cas can be over protective but not like this.

"I know what he is capable of now Emma. I won't underestimate him and I just want you to be safe. Can you just not go down there... For me."

"I guess... Just for you though." I smiled, climbing on top of him. "Shouldn't you actually be watching Crowley right now? In case he magically gets away." I laughed bending down to kiss him.

His hand tangled in my hair and his other hand found the small of my back, pulling me closer to him. It was amazing how fiery Cas was, and every time it only seemed to grow more and more. "I think it will be okay for a few more hours." He muttered, pulling me back down to him.

Everything was going great until we heard a tiny knock on the door, followed by a faint voice asking if I was up. "Just a second." I yelled, staring down at Cas wide eyed. I grabbed all of his clothes and pushed him into the closet, closing the door behind him. I grabbed a big t-shirt I stole from Sam and threw it on before opening the door and peeking outside.

Sam was standing there with a small smile on his face, almost seeming nervous. "I didn't wake you did I?" He asked shifting feet. "No no, I was already up... doing... stuff." I smiled, "Come in." I said opening the door a little wider. He came in and took a seat on the bed, letting out a long sigh.

"Is everything okay?" I asked as I shut the door and took a seat next to him. My eyes wandered the closet door and I began to wonder if Cas had zapped somewhere else. It was already awkward to think Sam interrupted us, but Cas standing naked in the closet would just triple that.

"I just wanted to ask you some questions... about the future and stuff." He shrugged, staring at the ground. "You wanted to ask me questions at 4 in the morning? You need to get your priorities straight Sam." I giggled, nudging him.

He didn't seem like he was in the mood for joking around so I got comfortable, looking over at the closet once more before telling him to ask away. "Well I just really wanted to know if it gets better. I feel like no matter how hard we fight it's never good enough. There's always something we did wrong." He said, keeping his eyes on the ground.

"I mean I feel like no matter what, there is always going to be someone or something out there trying to destroy the world. Originally, Cas was supposed to take the souls and be God, and after that, Leviathan appeared, than Abaddon and Metatron. Like seriously, I am sure no matter what there is going to be someone doing something. Whether you get involved or not. Do you seriously think this is all your fault?"

Sam shrugged and leaned over on his legs, burring his face in his hands. "I don't know Emma. The eclipse is in a few days and I... I just don't know." He said quietly. He looked over at me and there were tears streaming down his face. I threw my arms around his neck and pulled him into a hug and he just let go, and started crying.

I didn't know what to say, or what to do. I couldn't even fathom what had gotten Sam so upset he would come to me crying at 4 in the morning. I was pretty sure the only time he ever cried was when Dean died. Something was seriously worrying him and I had to figure it out. It broke my heart to see Sam cry. He was so strong; but I guess even the strongest things break sometimes.


	34. Chapter 34

"How much longer?" I asked, throwing my head back against the seat. We had already been in the car for 8 hours and I was ready to get out. "About another five hours or so." Sam replied, clicking away on his laptop. We were on our way to Lander Wyoming, where we were either going manage to stop Raphael from taking on the souls of Purgatory or die in the process.

I wanted to just have Cas zap us over there, but he had to make sure getting Crowley to purgatory went smoothly so here I was dying in the back seat of the impala. "You're car is so uncomfortable." I wined, letting out a sigh. I was really starting to get bored in the back seat with my phone being dead and Cas not here to entertain me, so I decided to see how long it would take to piss Dean off.

"Stop complaining blondie." Dean said, looking at me in the rear view mirror. "My butt hurts though, and my back... my whole body hurts because of your stupid car." I said, trying not to laugh. Dean gave me a look and moved his eyes back to road, clenching his jaw. "Can't we at least stop for a minute? Get out and stretch?" I asked.

"We just stopped thirty minutes ago."

"Well... I have to pee." I replied, sitting up straight. Sam started to giggle in the passenger seat and Dean shot him a nasty look. "You just peed 30 minutes ago." Dean said, giving me an unamused look. I had to try not to laugh; I wasn't sure why irritating Dean was so much fun, but it was. It also made Sam laugh which was also a definite plus.

The night Sam came to me and cried on my shoulder, I really had no idea what to do. After talking for hours on end he ended up spilling his guts over everything he felt. About every hunt, about Dean, about everything that has been going on. He was drunk so I wasn't surprised he had a break down but I felt so bad for him, I never knew how much he held inside.

"I have a small bladder. I'm pretty sure it's about the size of a penny." I nodded, smiling as Sam continued to giggle. "We aren't pulling over. So suck it up buttercup." He replied, not giving into my tries to anger him.

"You are worse than Hitler you know that. At least he let people pee."

"Well I'm about to kill you like Hitler would, if you don't sit back and shut up." He replied, raising his voice. "Actually, Hitler would probably spare her considering her appearance." Sam corrected him as a huge smile grew on his face.

Dean shot him a nasty look once more and it was only getting funnier and funnier. Suddenly Cas appeared in the seat next to me, and I jumped, trying my hardest not to scream. "Damnit Cas. Not cool." I yelled, trying to catch my breath. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to startle you." He said with a smile.

I smiled back at him and we couldn't stop staring at each other. I never got sick of looking at him, especially not those eyes. I heard Dean yelling and it pulled me out of my daydream I was having, pulling me back to reality. "Stop it. Stop eye fucking each other." Dean yelled, staring at us in the rear view mirror, "Don't do that in front of me. Your practically my sister, I don't need to see that."

"Sorry." I laughed, giving him a smile. "Crowley is in place and ready. He finally agreed to help us." Cas said, turning his attention from me to Dean. "Good, lets just pray our asses off this crazy plan of yours works." He replied keeping his eyes on the road. After Cas and Dean were done discussing Crowley, I managed to keep myself busy the rest of the five hours playing stupid games with Cas and picking on Dean every chance I got. Luckily, I fell asleep for the last hour of the ride so that helped as well.

I woke up in the back of the impala, my head resting on Cas's lap and his trench coat draped over me. I sat up and looked around and we were stopped off at some gas station, with Sam and Dean inside shopping. "Why are we stopped at a gas station?" I asked, letting out a yawn and looking over at Cas. He had his head cocked to the side and small smile on his face, and he was starting to creep me out. "What? Do I have something on my face?" I asked rubbing my hands down my face.

The car doors opened and Sam and Dean climbed back in, and Dean threw the few bags they had in the back seat with Cas and I. "Nice hair blondie." Dean smirked, hitting Sam so he would look back at me. I leaned forward over the driver seat and moved the rear view mirror so I could get a good look at myself.

Somehow, while I was sleeping I managed to tangle my hair into a huge poufy mess that was stemming in every direction. "Just how?" I muttered, running my fingers through my hair, trying to calm the beast on top of my head.

"I think that style works for you." Dean laughed, starting up the car. "And I think it would be funny if you woke up with a snake in your bed." I replied, combing my hair the best I could.

"Whoa, simmer down there." Dean said, looking at me concerned. He exchanged at worried look with Sam before he finally pulled out of the gas station and we got back on the road. We stopped off at the first motel we came across as usual and we all got out grabbing our bags while Dean went and got the room.

Dean came back a few minutes later and I handed him his bag before we all followed him to our room. After we all were settled in, I took a shower and changed for bed before taking a seat on the bed with Sam, who was on his laptop like always. Cas and Dean were sitting on the couch watching some competitive TV show and fighting over who was better.

"So just out of curiosity, what do you possibly do on your laptop like twenty four seven?" I asked, grabbing over a pillow. "Research mostly." He shrugged, looking over at me, "I like to know what's going on in the world. Sometimes I will read an online book or something. It really depends."

"You are such a nerd." I laughed shaking my head. "Coming from the girl who can quote any line from harry potter." He laughed nudging me with his shoulder.

"When you have seen as much of life as I have, you will not underestimate the power of obsessive love. Albus Dumbledore." I smiled, "It's not my fault I've seen every harry potter 50 times. I didn't choose the Potter life, the Potter life chose me." I replied. Sam let out a laugh, shaking his head as he closed his laptop and set it on the nightstand beside him. "Dweeb." He said, a smile plastered on his face.

I looked over at the clock, it was already 10 P.M, and it seemed like the time was just flying by. Sam and I decided to join Dean and Cas and watch Fear Factor for another hour before we all headed off to bed.

I woke up the next morning to Dean shaking me lightly and telling me it was already seven in the morning. He always made it sound like it was so late to wake up at seven in the freaking morning, but it was too early for me so rolled back over and pulled the blanket over my head to try to hide the light.

Waking up so early was pointless anyway, Bobby wasn't going to get to town until the afternoon and it wasn't like the eclipse was going to happen until the moon came out so I didn't see the point of waking up right now. Dean however was not fond of me going back to sleep so he decided to pick up the other side of the mattress and flip me onto the floor.

"Good morning sunshine." He said as he set the mattress back down. "Come on we are gonna get some breakfast, Bobby will be here soon."

"I thought he wasn't going to be here until 4." I asked getting up and moving the sheets back on the bed. "Nope, he left early. Now get dressed." He said, taking a seat on the bed and putting his boots on. I sighed and went to my bag pulling out a light pink sundress and going to the bathroom to change. After I did my hair, I threw on some white heels and joined everyone back in the min room.

"No." I heard Dean say from behind me as I put my dirty clothes in my bag. "What?" I asked turning around to face him.

Dean had his arms crossed against his chest and his brow raised. "You're not wearing those shoes. How many times do I have to tell you hunters don't wear heels. You're going to get yourself killed"

"Well this hunter does. I dress to impress Dean. You never know when you might run into Zac Efron, and I will not be caught looking like a homeless person if the chance ever arose. So no, I will not change my shoes. I killed the devil in heels, I can take on Raphael in heels." I replied crossing my arms just as he was.

He gave me a disapproving look but after a few minutes, he let it go. We went on and got breakfast at a local diner, while Cas left to go take care of Crowley and make sure everything on that end went according to plan. Bobby showed up at the motel around noon and for the rest of the day we sat around discussing our plan, which was literally nothing.

By 7 P.M, Cas finally showed back up, telling us Crowley was in place and Raphael was in town, exactly where Crowley had said he would be. I would be lying if I said I was ready to face Raphael again but I knew we didn't have a choice. Dean tried to fight me to stay behind but after an hour of us fighting, he finally gave in and let me tag along. After everyone collected themselves, Cas zapped over the warehouse where Raphael was planning to open purgatory and we sat a little ways away, watching to see how guarded he had it.

"Yes Dean I am completely serious. There is no one else here." Cas said getting irritated. "Does that make anyone else's stomach churn?" I asked feeling a little sick. Sam gave an apologetic look before Dean took the lead and started towards the warehouse. I stayed close behind Sam, and Bobby and Cas followed behind me as we made our way in the building.

"I don't like this one damn bit." Dean muttered as we began our way through the hallways. No one answered him as we continued walking until we came to a door that led down to a huge open room, where Raphael was standing, drawing the symbol to open purgatory on the wall.

Cas disappeared and reappeared behind Raphael, raising his angel blade and plunging it into his back. "I was wondering when you would show up brother." Raphael spat, reaching around and pulling the blade out of his back. He waived his hand and sent Cas flying back into the wall, and Dean reached a hand up and covered my mouth as if he knew I was going to scream.

"Stay up here do you hear me? I don't care what you see I don't care what happens. You don't go down there until you see that door closing." Dean whispered harshly. I held back the tears and nodded my head, as he pulled his hand away from my mouth. He gave me a kiss on the forehead before he nodded to Sam and Bobby, and they made their way through the door.

"And of course you would bring your little pets with you Castiel. You always were a sentimental one." Raphael said as all three of them made their way down the stairs. Cas got up and joined them, pulling out another angel blade from his coat. "Where is the little blonde girl? She was the one I was most looking forward to see."

"You're never going to get to lay a hand on her you asshat." Dean yelled. Cas gripped his blade tighter and appeared behind Raphael once more, raising his blade to cut his throat. Raphael grabbed Cas's hand before he could cut out his grace, and pushed him up against the wall, trying his hardest to shove the blade in Cas's heart.

Dean raised his gun and put a bullet in the back of Raphael's head, stunning him long enough for Cas to push his hand away and get out of his grip. "I'm done playing games." Raphael yelled and waived his hand sending all of them back against the wall.

Raphael picked up a piece of paper and started chanting the spell to open the door. I wanted so bad to rush down there and try to do something but I knew he would kill me the second he laid eyes on me. Once everyone got back up, Dean and Sam started shooting at Raphael, trying everything to stun him.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and I had to cover my mouth trying not screaming. I turned around quickly, gun ready to shoot and I found myself staring at Gabriel. "What are you doing here?" I asked quietly, trying to recover from the heart attack he gave me.

"You called didn't you." He replied, raising a brow at me. "Yeah I called you like a week ago maybe even longer... I guess better late than never, they could use your help." I sighed, looking back through the window on the door.

"Whoa, I didn't come here to get involved." He said, giving me a weird look. "What? If your not going to help then why the hell did you even come?" I asked getting angry. I didn't understand him sometimes.

"Just because I'm not jumping in the ring of fire doesn't mean I didn't come to help out." He said as he pulled a glowing blue rock out from his jacket pocket. "That thing... uh I forget the name of it, but I thought Balthazar had that?" I asked, staring at the rock in his hand.

He twisted it around, staring at it, a small smile crossing his face. "He did have it, and now I have it." He said looking back at me. He hesitated for a second before handing out to me, his smile fading. "You want me to turn Raphael into a pile of salt? That didn't kill him last time, just his vessel." I said taking the rock confused.

"What? No, this is not the lot's stone. It is Azrael's Gem. It has the power to pull the life from any being in existence. Including an archangel."

"Well excuse me for not having an index of every one of heaven's weapons. Why are you giving this to me anyway?" I asked.

"Well that thing isn't going to kill him." He said looking down at my pistol, "What exactly was your plan anyway?" He asked raising a brow at me. When I did not answer, he nodded his head, "Exactly what I thought."

"So why don't you help out and you use it? He could kill me before I even get a chance."

"Sorry, true blood comes on at 9 and it's already 8:53." He shrugged, a smile forming on his face before he disappeared.

"Wait! I don't even know how to use it." I said, but he never came back. I sighed and put the gem in my jacket pocket looking back through the door window. Sam was on the floor passed out, Dean and Bobby were pinned up against the wall, and Cas was nowhere to be found.

I watched as Raphael finished chanting the spell and the sigil he drew on the wall started glowing white. I opened the door and ran down the stairs and over to Sam, shaking him hard until he finally started to come to.

Raphael started to take on the souls of purgatory and I couldn't even move. I felt so terrified but I knew I had to fight through it. I pulled out the gem Gabriel gave me and I squeezed it holding it out towards Raphael but nothing was happening. I had no idea how to make this thing work, and it was the only chance we had.

After Raphael consumed all the souls, the door shut and the symbol stopped glowing. Raphael turned to me and a huge smile came across his face. "Ah Emma, how nice of you to finally join us."

I squeezed the stone as tight as I could but nothing was happening. Suddenly the sigil on the wall started to glow white once more and the door opened, and a wind started to fill the room. Raphael turned around to face the door and all the souls that he had consumed started to leave his body and go back through the door.

After a few seconds, the door finally closed and the sigil on the wall had disappeared. I closed my eyes and prayed for the stone to work, squeezing it with all I had. I heard Raphael start to scream and I opened my eyes and watched as his vessel started emitting a bright white light. His vessel dropped after a second, and at the same time, whatever hold he had on Dean and Bobby was lifted and they fell to ground.

Dean and Bobby came running over to Sam and me, helping us to our feet. Dean pulled me into one of the tightest hugs I think he has ever given me, and held me so close I thought he was going to squeeze me to death. Suddenly black ooze started pouring out of Raphael's vessel, and my heart felt like someone has ripped it out and fed it to piranhas. "What the hell is that?" Dean asked as we all backed up against the wall. I knew exactly what it was, one of the many things we were trying to prevent. Leviathan.


	35. Chapter 35

I woke up in my room freezing to death, listening to the annoying sound of buzzing in my ear. I reached over, looking at my phone and I had three missed calls from Dean. I silenced my phone and laid my head back down, looking over at the clock. 11 A.M. This was the first day in forever I actually slept in.

It had been a little over a week since we had gotten back to Bobby's and so far, we hadn't found any sign of Leviathans. Two days in, Dean decided it was time to get back to normal hunting until something came up, so not long after Sam found a case North Dakota, probably vampires. I decided to stay behind and let Sam and Dean have some brother bonding like they used to before I came around, and go on a hunt by themselves. I was pretty much tapped out after Raphael anyway so it was really a win win.

Cas had found his way back after a day of recovering in the Sahara Desert, where sadly Raphael had sent him during their fight. After that, he took the stupid stone back to heaven and I haven't seen him since. The last few days while Sam and Dean have been gone I helped Bobby do some research, clean the house, I even got to help him work on a car. I may seem boring but I loved spending time with Bobby.

I heard my phone start to buzz again, so I finally sat up and reached over picking up my phone and answering. "You know some people need their beauty sleep Dean." I muttered as I answered the phone. "There is no amount of sleep that is going to help you blondie, sorry." He replied and I could just hear the smile in the way he said that.

"What do you want?" I asked getting irritated. After a few minutes of him checking in, he finally said they were headed back today and would be home by five. After I hung up the phone, I got up to go down stairs and as I walked past the window I stopped and a huge smile came across my face.

I got dressed as fast as I could, running down the stairs and into the living room where Bobby was sitting at his desk like usual, reading a book. "Oh my god Bobby get up. Why are you sitting inside right now?" I asked, practically bouncing up and down. "What are you talking about?" He asked looking as me confused. I grabbed his hand and dragged him outside, trying to contain myself from squealing.

"It's snowing Bobby. That's what I'm talking about." I smiled, bouncing up and down. "Are you twelve?" He asked, laughing.

"Mentally I'm like eight." I replied, the smile on my face growing. "Come on, get some breakfast than you can turn back into an eight year old okay." He smiled, pushing me back into the house. I made some toast and sat in the living room with Bobby while he continued with his research, talking about some of the things I remembered about leviathan.

Apparently, Sam had caught a case he thought might be leviathan, so Bobby was getting as much research as he could on them, since Dean wanted to go check it out tomorrow. In the week I had been with Bobby, I gave him all the information I possibly could remember on the leviathan but he wanted to make sure I didn't miss anything.

After I finished eating, I went back upstairs to get on more warm clothes, putting on as many layers as I could. I heard the sound of wings fill the room and I my heart stopped, this day could not have gotten any better. I ran and jumped in to Cas's arms, pressing my lips against his, squeezing him as tight as I could.

"You have no idea how much I missed you." I smiled, kissing him again. "Your in an unusually good mood today." He noted as I finally pulled away from him, throwing on another jacket.

"Well this is a very good day." I laughed, looking over at him. "So where have you been?"

"I needed to take care of some things in heaven. With Raphael gone, heaven is out of balance." He sighed, shrugging.

I knew it had to have been hard for him to see the only home he has ever known go into chaos, his family slaughtering each other. I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around him once more, looking up at him. "I'm sorry all this happening, I know it can't be easy."

"No, but I have you." He smiled slightly, looking down at me with his big blue eyes. "Come on, I want to go play in the snow." I smiled up at him. I grabbed his hand and led him down stairs and outside, stopping just at the beginning of the yard. I lost track of how many hours I spent outside with Cas. I taught him how to make a snowman, and we even made snow angels, although he went on to tell me that it was a horrible representation of what angels actually look like.

Sam and Dean got back to Bobby's around five, just like Dean had said and he brought pizza home for dinner. I was excited to see Sam and Dean again; it had only been 5 days but I still missed them like crazy. I gave them each hugs before helping them carry everything in, including the pizza, which I could not wait to devour.

After dinner, we all sat around the table talking. "So I got a little something for us to do tonight, before we go on our leviathan hunt tomorrow." Dean said going over to his bag. He pulled out the fourth Harry Potter movie, a smile on his face. "You got another Harry Potter?" I asked smiling.

"Yeah, it's a good movie, besides I have to know what happens." He laughed setting it on the table. I gave him a hug and thanked him before going upstairs to change out of all 20 layers of clothing I had on and get in more comfortable movie clothes. Right after I finished changing, Cas appeared in my room, and I couldn't really tell with his face being so emotionless, but he seemed somewhat sad.

"Are you okay?" I asked as I was putting my hair up in a bun.

I stared at him for a few seconds but he didn't say anything, didn't even move, he just stood there staring out the window. "I have some things I need to take care of." He muttered, still not moving.

"Okay? What does that mean?"

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before finally looking over at me. "It means I'm leaving Emma. Raphael is dead and soon Metatron will be on his way to close heaven and I will not allow that to happen. I can stop him before he gains control of the tablet, I can stop everything."

"Wait a minute, your going after Metatron... right now? We have leviathan to worry about not to mention you just got back."

"I know, I came back to spend at least one more day with you, but I need to stop Metatron now before he can rise up and take power. Heaven is in chaos right now and I need to do something." He muttered, finally looking over at me.

"So how long are you going to be gone? Are you even going to come back, or help us with the leviathan?" I asked, crossing my arms.

He gave me a long look before turning his attention back out the window. "I'm trying to do the right thing by telling you Emma, deceit didn't do well for me last time. I don't know when I will come back, but I will try my hardest to aid you and the Winchesters when I can."

"The Winchesters? That's very formal." I spat, biting my bottom lip. "Emma, please don't make this harder than it needs to be." He sighed, closing his eyes.

"Make what harder Cas?" I asked, feeling the tears well up in my eyes. He didn't answer me though, and I got that horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. He came over to me and brushed a piece of hair behind my ear, not meeting my eyes. "I need you to know I do care about you Emma, more than I can ever put into words, and—"

"Wait a minute... are you breaking up with me?" I asked interrupting him. "I can't let you down anymore Emma. Every time I leave and come back, or even when we are in battle, I see that look in your eyes, and I see how much it hurts you. I just want you to be happy and I can't give that to you right now. At least not until I fix everything." He said, finally looking me in the eyes.

The tears started to rush down my face and I just couldn't hold them back anymore. I didn't understand this. "Well you leaving me _is_ hurting me. What about that. I love you Castiel and I don't care how many battles we get into, or how many times you have to leave. I don't want to lose you."

"You aren't losing me. I promise." He said, kissing my forehead. "This is for the best. At least for right now." He muttered, wiping the tears from my cheeks. "Even though this statement has no meaning for me... I love you Emma, and even though it cannot capture the feelings I have for you, just please don't doubt it for a second."

"Then don't go. Not like this. You have left before, why does it matter now?" I asked, looking up at him. "I am doing this for you, even if you don't realize it. This is for the best." He said, kissing my head one last time, and before I could even blink, he was gone.

I didn't understand what just happened, how he just left me like that. It wasn't like we couldn't have made it work. My heart had felt like someone put it through a wood chipper, and then burned all the little pieces. I wiped away the tears and took a deep breath, trying to calm down. I didn't want anyone to know what just happened, we were all having a good day I couldn't ruin it.

After a few minutes of talking myself down, I finally made my way back to the living room where everyone was sitting, waiting to start the movie. "Took you long enough blondie, where is Cas?" Dean asked as I took a seat on the floor with Sam. "He went back to heaven. Said he would come back when he could." I shrugged, keeping my eyes on the TV.

I waited for them to start the movie but everyone just sat there awkwardly staring at me, probably expecting me to have some break down, but I couldn't this time. Sometimes you just have to be strong for yourself, and I need it. "Start the movie already, are you waiting for Christmas?"

"We'd only have to wait a few weeks." Dean commented, a small smirk on his face. Sam gave a little smile before he finally grabbed the remote and started the movie. The whole movie I couldn't concentrate, I tried to forget the world around and just watch the movie but I couldn't get into it. It's a little sad when I get pulled from the real world, into an imaginary world and even then, I still wished I was somewhere else.

After the movie I didn't waste anytime saying goodnight and going to bed, as much as I wanted to sit up with everyone, I just wanted to be alone even more. I got in my room and locked the door, trying to stay calm but it was a lot harder than I thought. I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream, and I didn't know what to do.

I grabbed a little blue jewelry box that I had, and dumped everything inside of it out in my duffel bag. I took off the necklace Cas had given me and put it in the box, before hiding it away in the back of the closet. I just had to bury this, bury these feelings, I wanted to break down, but for once in my stupid life I was going to be strong.

I wiped the tears away and laid down, doing everything I could to go to sleep, but by the time the clock hit 5 A.M I knew there was no point in even trying to sleep now. So I got up and got dressed for the day, doing my hair, my make up, like nothing was different.

Sam came knocking on my door around 6:30 like I had expected and he was actually surprised he didn't have to fight me to get up. After packing up all my stuff and saying bye to Bobby, we headed off the Wyoming to check out what Sam thought were Leviathan.

We got to town around two, stopping to get lunch before we found a motel and all changed into our F.B.I attire. "Okay, I'll head down to the morgue, you two head to the stadium. Meet back up later." Dean said as he put his jacket on. He nodded to Sam and me as he walked out door, and left Sam and me alone in the room.

"So are you gonna tell me what's bothering you?" Sam asked as he finished putting on his shoes. "What are you talking about? Nothing is wrong." I replied, looking myself over in the mirror one more time. I grabbed my jacket and threw it on, making sure the fake badge they had made for me was still in there.

"Something's wrong... When you go even an hour with out making a some sort of harry potter reference or even an attempt to piss Dean off, I know something's wrong. It's Castiel isn't it. I noticed you aren't wearing that necklace."

"Look it doesn't matter okay. He went back to heaven and I just need to get over that. It was stupid to think he would ever chose me over any of that stuff anyway." I shrugged, "It doesn't matter, what matters is taking down the leviathan."

"Well just know if you need to talk you _can_ talk to me. One of us doesn't need to be drunk at 4 A.M to spill our guts out okay?" He smiled, giving me a nudge. I gave him a small smile back and we made our way out to the parking lot where Sam proceeded to steal a 2006 black Chevy impala that was parked just outside our room.

"For the record, I like the 67 so much better." I muttered as I climbed in the passenger seat. "But one day, we are stealing a Ferrari, because I am determined to drive one of those before I die."

"Oh I am so in on that one." Sam laughed as we pulled out and started towards the stadium.

I reached over and grabbed the file that Sam had set on the dashboard, reading over the case files he had printed out. A local basketball team was found in their locker room dismembered and some parts even missing. "So what made you think this is Leviathan?" I asked, flipping through the pages.

"You said Leviathan like to eat people, and the police think some animal did this. I didn't hurt to check out." He shrugged, keeping his eyes on the road. "Yeah, but Leviathan's are more elaborate than just feeding like animals, at least from what I remember." I replied, closing the folder.

"It's a little hard to remember some details, I mean it's been 2 years since I've seen anything from that time line so I'm a little spotty. I do know Dick Roman is like the head of the leviathan though, and he makes some company that puts something in all sweet foods and it turns people into zombies almost, so it's easier for them to feed."

"Well hopefully we can take Dick down before it gets that far. Didn't you say we kill him and they all die."

"Yeah, but when you guys did that the first time Dean and Cas got sent to Purgatory for a year."

Sam let out a sigh, and clenched his jaw. I knew it must have been hard to think the only way to kill all the leviathans were for someone to go to Purgatory. However, I had to wonder if that would even work with the spell we used to close the door to Purgatory, what if killing Dick Roman wouldn't do anything. What if... Leviathan were here forever.


	36. Chapter 36

Sam and I made our way into the Stadium, pushing past crowds of people standing in line to see the basketball game that was being held there. You would think after one of their teams was slaughtered in the locker rooms, they would close the place down but apparently, a sports game was more important than the 11 people killed.

We walked up to the help desk, flashed our badges, and waited for the manager to come and take us to the crime scene. After waiting a few minutes, the manager led us down the back hallways and to the locker room where the team was killed.

At first glace it was horrifying, and looking around the room only made it worse. Blood was splattered from the floor to the celling, across the lockers; you could have probably swam in the amount of blood in the room. However, looking closer I noticed it wasn't just blood everywhere but tiny blobs of black goo that made a trail out the back door.

"Manager didn't see or hear anything the night this happened. Said the cleaning ladies came in for the nightly cleanly up and found... this." Sam said as he joined me in staring at the crime scene.

"Well you were right, it is leviathan. There are little blacks blobs, and I don't think many things bleed black goo." I replied, pointing out the spots. Sam took out his phone and started taking some pictures, while I followed the trail out through the back door.

I wondered what they could have possibly done to make it bleed, I was pretty sure they could just heal themselves. I followed the trail down the hall to an office that belonged to the team's coach.

I peeked inside through the window on the door and from what I could tell no one was in there, so I turned the knob and let myself in, following the trail until it stopped in the middle of the room. In the reports Sam had printed out, it said the coach had just left before the attack started so I didn't understand why the leviathan would have came in here. I guess to hide.

"Hasn't anyone ever told you breaking into people's offices is a federal offence?" I heard a voice say from behind me. I turned around to face a tall man, leaned up against the side of the door his arms crossed. He had short blonde hair and deep blue eyes that almost reminded me of Cas's eyes. He was dressed in basketball shorts and a plain white t-shirt that was covered in sweat, probably one of the basketball players.

"I'm pretty sure breaking in isn't a federal offense, and the door was open, I did no breaking. Besides... F.B.I." I said, pulling out my badge. "And who are you?" I asked, as I put it away.

"Dylan Sanders. is my coach." He said, straightening up a bit. "Wait you were on the team? So where were you when they all were killed." I asked, giving him a confused look.

"I didn't have a ride that night so coach offered to take me home." He shrugged. "Normally my mom picks me up but she was out of town."

I couldn't help but think it was mighty convenient that they both left so early, right before they're team gets killed. Why would they leave before anyone else? Deep down I knew the answer, but I did not want to admit that I was probably standing face to face with a leviathan.

I heard footsteps come running down the hall and no sooner did Sam make his way into the room, his face having a very displeased look on it. He looked over at Dylan and nodded, before turning his attention back to me. "Agent, we need to leave. Got another place to check." He said, trying to keep his voice calm.

"Well Dylan, don't go far. We might need to get in touch with you again for more questioning." I said as I joined Sam in the hallway. "Don't worry. I don't plan to go anywhere." He replied with a smile. I nodded back and followed Sam back outside until he reached the impala he stole and climbed in.

"How about next time you don't just run off Emma. What if a leviathan got you? Run off again and I'm locking you in the motel room." Sam said harshly as he started up the car.

"Dude, take a chill pill, what's your problem?" I asked looking over at him.

Sam clenched his jaw before finally letting out a sigh. "I've called Dean 10 times. No answer." He replied, not taking his eyes off the road. "He's probably sleeping, or at a bar trying to pick up a chick. I'm sure he is fine Sam." I replied, staring at him.

He didn't answer me though; he just kept speeding until we reached the motel. Once we got to the room Sam started to really freak out when Dean wasn't there. "Sam, you need to just breathe okay." I said, watching him pace the room, calling him for the hundredth time.

"Dean, seriously... call me back." Sam said as he hung up his phone. "Come on were going to the morgue, see if anyone down there knows where he was heading next." He said, putting his cell phone away. I nodded, and followed him back out to the parking lot where he switched up cars and stole a red Jeep Grand Cherokee. Once we climbed in and he got it started, we sped off towards the city morgue.

* * *

Cas appeared outside an abandon house deep in the forests of Maine. He hesitated a minute before making his way into the house and looking around. He sensed someone behind him, and threw up his hand catching the woman's arm before she could drive an angel blade into him.

"Clearance, what do I owe this little visit. You really should knock first." Meg said, pulling her arm away and lowering the weapon. "I need your assistance." Cas replied, squinting his eyes at the demon.

"Oh really, I thought I was just an abomination." She smiled, laying the angel blade on the table, as she crossed the room. "What could I possibly have to offer you?"

"Lucifer's crypts. I need their locations."

A small smile started to form on Meg's face as she crossed her arms, staring up at Cas. "What makes you think I would give you the location to the crypts?"

"Because if you don't I will have no trouble turning you over to Crowley." Cas said, his voice getting hard. A hint of fear flashed across the demons face before she let out a little laugh. "Crowley is stuck in Purgatory with no way out. No in... no out, but good try."

"Crowley is out of Purgatory, I rescued him, and I know exactly where he is. So how about you give me what I want, or I will force it from you and give what is left over to Crowley."

"Oh Cas, I love it when you get rough." She smiled, "Okay, I will take you to your precious crypts but I want you to help me go into hiding, I don't need Crowley finding me. I'm talking Waldo deep."

Cas stood there for a second, squinting his eyes at the demon before finally nodding his head in agreement. He didn't like the thought of having to help protect a demon, but he needed her help, and deep inside he knew she wasn't as bad as she let on, he knew that from the memories Emma had shared with him.

Meg and Cas zapped over to an old abandoned warehouse some where in the state of Kansas. Meg led the way down past the building, walking a few hundred feet before coming up to a large stone building. "So why come to me? I though little miss Barbie knew everything." She asked as she pushed open the door to the crypt.

"That is none of your concern." Cas muttered, not making eye contact with Meg as he pushed past her into the crypt. He led the way into the crypt, stopping at the third arch, placing his hand on the wall. He focused his energy to his palm, breaking the wall beneath his hand. The walls crumbled opening up to a large room, with random items sprawled across two tables sitting in the room.

"Well you seem to know exactly what you're looking for. Why exactly did you need me?" Meg asked from behind him. Cas ignored her and walked down into the room, stopping in front of a large box that was covered in symbols from top to bottom. "Is that what your looking for?" Meg asked walking up behind the angel. "Yes, I need you to open it, it is warded against angels." Cas replied, looking over his shoulder.

Meg gave him a look as she pushed past him, grabbing a knife out from her jacket. She shoved the knife between the lip, prying the top of it open. She set the knife down and reached in, grabbing out a rock. "So is this what I think it is?" She asked as Cas pulled the rock from her hands.

"Most likely yes."

"So what are you planning to do with the angel tablet?" She asked, watching as Cas threw the rock down on the table, breaking it and revealing a slightly smaller rock with a bunch of scribbled symbols across it. "Once again, that is none of your concern." He said picking up the angel tablet, staring down at it.

"Well I kept up my end of the bargain, now pay up angel boy. I need to know I'm safe from Crowley." She said, crossing her arms. Cas tucked the tablet in his overcoat before turning his attention to Meg. "Sorry, I don't protect demons." Cas spat. "We made a deal." Meg yelled, getting angry.

"Yes we did, but there is this thing I happened to learn... It's known as lying." Cas replied with disgust. She took out an angel blade and lunged for him, but he had vanished before she got close, leaving her standing alone in the crypt.

* * *

"Sam... I love you, but I swear to chuck if you don't stop being a drama queen, I'm gonna hit you with something." I said watching Sam pace the room once more. "Why are you so emotional lately? Is it that time of the month?"

Sam gave me a nasty look, picking up his phone and dialing Dean once more. He was freaking out since we hadn't been able to find Dean, I knew I probably should have been worried to but I felt like he was fine, he was just off being Dean. "I... I think it's time to call Cas." Sam said as he shut his phone.

"So call him?" I replied, shrugging. I may have not wanted to be in the same room as the guy but I wasn't going to ignore the only way we had to finding Dean. Sam closed his eyes and prayed to Cas, but nothing happened. We waited a few more minutes and still no angel had appeared in our motel room.

Sam begged me to try and as much as I didn't want to I closed my eyes and prayed to Cas as well, asking him to come help find Dean. Once again, we waited for our angel to appear, and like before we were disappointed. Just as Sam was about to head out, the door swung open and Dean came stumbling in.

"Dean! Where the hell have you been? I've been calling you for hours." Sam yelled, rushing over to his brother. "Calm down Sammy, I just took a small break." Dean replied, taking off his jacket. He patted Sam on the shoulder, as he took a seat on the bed pulling off his shoes.

"A small break? Dean your hammered." Sam yelled as Dean collapsed back on the bed. Dean didn't seem to acknowledge Sam after that point, dosing off to sleep. I held myself back from telling Sam I told you so, but it was killing me not to say.

Sam took a seat at the table with me, letting a large angry sigh. I looked over at Dean, and I started to get a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I pulled over the pen and notepad sitting on the table and wrote Sam a note, sliding it across the table. After he read over it, he looked at me horrified. I wasn't positive, but I had this strong feeling, Dean wasn't actually Dean.

I watched as Sam got up, making his way over to their weapons bag, which was sitting on the dresser. He pulled out a machete and some borax, taking a deep breath before throwing some powder on Dean. My heart stopped as I saw Dean, or well the Leviathan pretending to be Dean, cringe in pain as the borax burned his skin. Sam didn't hesitate a second, swinging his blade down and chopping off the Leviathans head.

He kicked the head across the room and I had to contain myself for puking at what I just saw. Sam gave me that I told you so look and now I was really starting to feel bad. "We need to leave. Now." Sam said, rushing to grab and pack everything. "Sam... We can't just leave him here. We have to at least... At least take the head or he will glob back together." I said as I helped him pack stuff. He emptied out one of the bags he had and grabbed the head, zipping it up in the bag.

We headed down to the Jeep, throwing everything in the back and Sam hot-wired the car, and we were off speeding down the road. Neither Sam or I spoke but I know we were both thinking the same thing, wondering if Dean was alive. "Just so you know it only takes a touch, just a strand of D.N.A and Leviathan can turn into anyone. Memories, I mean everything. So there is still a good chance Dean is alive. I mean... He's Dean Winchester, I doubt anyone is gonna take him down so easy." I said, trying to give us some hope.

Sam didn't say anything though, and I didn't blame him. Truthfully, the chances of Dean still being alive were pretty thin. The leviathan was trying to make us think he was Dean for a reason. He was playing us and I was truthfully terrified to know why.

Sam pulled into an abandon house we had passed earlier on our way to the stadium, hiding the jeep behind some bushes. We got out, grabbed our bags, and ran inside, setting everything down. Sam set up a few lanterns to give us light and took out some borax and a blade, setting them on the table that sat in the kitchen.

"Okay we need to figure out how to find Dean. Somewhere between the kids house and the morgue Leviathan got him." Sam said hurriedly, pulling out his laptop. "We didn't see the impala so that could be a good sign."

I watched as Sam clicked around on his laptop frantically and I could tell he was fighting to keep it together. "His GPS is finally turned back on. It says he is only an hour from here. Come on." Sam said, grabbing his pistol off the table and putting in the back of his pants. He grabbed the borax and machete, before turning around to face me. He suddenly stopped, not making one move, his eyes getting wider.

My heart started to race and I knew what that look meant. I slowly turned around, expecting there to be a Leviathan or a giant spider but instead I found Cas, who was staring intently at Sam. "Cas?" I asked confused, trying to remember if I even heard his wings. He looked down at me and I could tell the second I looked into his eyes he wasn't Cas, at least not my Cas.

"What's wrong with you?" I asked taking a step back from him. A small came on his face as he looked between Sam and I. "There is nothing wrong. Actually things are going great, I'm now able to do things I could have only dreamed of." He replied, as his eyes stopped on me.

"What are you talking about?" Sam asked looking at Cas confused. "I'm talking about power. Raw power." He replied, still smiling. When neither Sam nor I answered, still giving him a confused look he continued, "I used the memories Emma had given me and found the angel tablet. Just as Metatron had done, I connected myself to it, and now... I have the power to fix everything. I can stop the fighting in heaven, I can stop Metatron, and I can even fight the Leviathan. I can fix... everything."

I didn't know what to say; I didn't think Sam did either, we just stood there staring at Cas in awe at what he had done. "Cas... why would you do this? This isn't the way." I said staring up at him.

"What other way is there Emma? Nothing can harm me now, I'm still me, just... a better me." He replied, still holding his smile. "Cas, buddy... I gotta agree with Emma here, this isn't the way." Sam added in.

Cas looked between us, his smile slowly fading. "I thought you would be happy." He said, his eyes getting gentle.

Sam let out a sigh, looking back at his laptop, and back to Cas. "I think we need to go find Dean, and then we can figure all this out. We could use you're help Cas, we think Leviathan got him." Sam said walking over to him. Cas hesitated a second but nodded and Sam showed him where Dean's GPS was. They both looked over at me, waiting for me to join them so Cas could zap us all over there.

I didn't want to go with them though, or well I didn't want to go with Cas. I couldn't believe he made himself God. What if it screwed with his head. Metatron seemed completely normal but it didn't matter. I knew this wasn't going to end well, I had to talk Cas out of this somehow. I took a deep breath and walked over to them, and Cas laid a hand on both Sam and I, zapping us away to where Dean was.


	37. Chapter 37

"So what exactly is the plan? Go in there, and just chop heads? If there are too many of them we will be taken down easy." I said, glancing from the warehouse to Sam. "What other option do we have? Deans in there and if he is alive it probably won't be for much longer." Sam said handing me a machete.

I looked over at the warehouse again, feeling my heart race out of my chest. We had only been standing here for 2 minutes but I was already having a heart attack. "Both of you stay out here. I will get Dean." Cas said quickly before disappearing.

Sam hesitated but after a second before he had moved from his spot beside me and started towards the warehouse. "Sam where the hell are you going? Cas said stay out here." I whispered, running after him.

"I'm not going to stand out here while my brother and best friend are in there. He might not be as strong as he thinks. Leviathans trump everything... remember." Sam said as he slipped his way into the building. I stood outside looking around, debating whether to follow him or not.

I knew I should have, considering he would have followed me, but I knew I would probably just end up getting myself killed. I stood there for a few more seconds before finally deciding to just go in there after Sam. If I die than I guess I died.

I swung open the door to warehouse, clutching the machete as tight as I could. I looked around for Sam but just as I had thought he was already long gone. I took a deep breath and started walking through the hallway, looking in every room I could. There was nothing in here, nothing even left behind in this warehouse. Every room was empty with nothing but graffiti walls and bugs that had come to live there.

I had to force myself not to make a noise every time I came across a spider; out of every place we had been to this was sadly the most disgusting. I kept calling out for Sam quietly but I never heard a response. Always just dead silence.

I rounded a corner, and before I had even gotten half way around, I felt a hand grab my neck, and shove me into the wall. I tried to swing the machete up but the man grabbed my wrist and twisted it until I dropped the blade on the ground. "Emma Robinson. How nice it is to finally meet you." The man said, his voice cold.

"How do you know my name?" I asked as I kicked the man in his stomach. He only laughed at my attempts to harm him and pushed me against the wall harder, crushing my throat so I couldn't breathe. "We've been looking for you. We saw you through that angel, we know all about you and your little friends." He said, letting up on my neck a bit.

"We saw everything in Raphael's mind, including the power you hold in that precious head of yours... which lucky is now ours." He smirked. I watched as the man on front of me changed from a tall black man to a perfect replica of me. "We knew you would end up coming for that other human. You're all so pathetic, but Dick Roman thanks you for your cooperation and your services will no longer be needed." She said.

I watched as the leviathan's mouth grew the size of her face, her eyes, and nose gone completely. I used to think it was just creepy to see on TV but this was worse than you could ever imagine. I closed my eyes and waited to become chow food, but the blow never came. I felt the hand on my neck disappear and I opened my eyes just in time to see Cas lay his hand on the leviathan's head. A white light started coming from inside the creature before it faded and the whole thing turned to ash.

"What part of stay outside, did you not understand?" He snapped, raising two fingers and fixing me up. "Uh I normally get lost around the stay part. It's just too complex for my understanding." I shrugged, picking up the machete the leviathan made me drop.

"So quick question. Last time I checked you couldn't just smite Leviathan, so what the hell was that?" I asked looking over at Cas. "You can't, but I didn't smite that Leviathan. Where is Sam?" He asked looking around.

"I don't know, I ran in here after him." I shrugged. Cas stared at me for a second before letting out a sigh and starting down the hallway. "Let's go."

I had to almost run to catch up with him by the time he reached the other end of the hallway. I stayed close behind him, looking around waiting for another Leviathan to pop out. We kept walking until we reached the factory level and inside we found Sam trying to fight off two Leviathans.

Cas appeared behind the Leviathan and I watched as he laid his hands on their heads and once again, turned them to ash. Before he could finish that, even more Leviathan showed and I watched as Sam and Cas just went on their killing spree.

I heard a noise behind me, followed by a very familiar voice. I looked back over at Sam and Cas but they both had their hands tied. I turned and ran out of the factory, following the noises I heard. I stopped outside a door, looking into what used to be an office. In the middle of the room, I saw Dean tied to chair, beat to a bloody pulp.

There was a Leviathan talking to him, a little short man who seemed very aggravated. I couldn't hear exactly what they were saying but Dean obviously pissed off the man since he got a punch to the face.

I took a deep breath and ran into the room, swinging the machete and chopping off the Leviathan's head. The body fell to the floor and I kicked it's head across the room, hoping to buy some time before it would glob back together.

"I'm not sure if I'm more proud or terrified." Dean muttered, as I started to untie him from the chair. "Yeah, well if I never have to chop off anyone's head again, I'll be pretty happy." I said, helping him getting up. He gave me a nod and took the machete from me, jus as Sam and Cas came running in.

Sam ran over to Dean and gave him a hug, a small smile coming on his face. "What the hell happened?" Sam asked as he pulled away. "Asshats got the jump on me as I left the morgue. Wanted blondie over there." Dean replied, looking over at me.

"For my memories... yeah I know. I don't know what my memories could possibly offer them though." I said, crossing my arms. "Your memories are actually very valuable to them. You know the location of the leviathan tablet, as well as the next prophet of the lord, you know absolutely everything about their plan, its no wonder they would hunt you down for information like that." Cas replied nonchalantly.

Dean gave Cas a weird look after he said that, and so did Sam. "What the hell is wrong with you?" Dean asked, taking a step toward Cas. "Nothing is wrong with me, why do you all assume that." He asked, giving Dean a look.

"The Cas I know wouldn't be so accepting that one of the most powerful monsters out there is gunning for his friends. For his family." Dean yelled, getting angry. "I was simply stating a fact Dean. Many things are going after Emma's memories, it's really nothing new." Cas snapped back, taking another step towards Dean.

I wasn't sure why they were so angry at each other, but I had a feeling it had nothing to do with someone being after my memories. I stepped in between Cas and Dean who were but a few feet from each other, both staring at each other as if they were ready to kill one another.

I pushed on Cas's chest, forcing him to take a few steps back, before turning to face Dean. "Put your rulers away okay, I don't know what's going on between you two but get over it. We have bigger things to worry about right now." I said, turning back around to face Cas, "Starting with God over here." I snapped.

"God? What is she talking about?" Dean asked, looking between Cas and Sam. "Cas apparently thought it would be a good idea to, link, himself to the angel tablet. Just like Metatron would have done." Sam replied, looking over at Cas.

Dean looked over at Cas and I saw his face twist into that all familiar look. The look of sheer disappointment, as if someone had just stabbed him in the back. I looked back up at Cas but he couldn't meet anyone's eye. He just stood there, staring at the ground.

"I'm not going to explain my self to you. I just need you to trust me." He said, finally looking over at Dean. "Trust you? How am I supposed to trust you man? I've heard the stories about what was suppose to happen, really happen. You jumped off the rails before who is to say that wont happen again. Not mention now you are a supercharged angel. I don't think I need to list the ways that can go wrong." Dean replied, getting a little angry.

"I know what I'm doing Dean." Cas snapped, squinting his eyes at Dean. "Do you?" Dean yelled, and once again, they got close, looking as if they would murder each other.

"Okay, lets just go home. Alright?" I said, staring up at Cas. He hesitated a minute before finally looking away from Dean and zapping us back to the house we were at before. Cas walked over to Dean and placed two fingers on his head, fixing him right up.

"I think I've done enough to earn at least a sliver of your trust Dean, but whether you are on my side or not, it will not alter what I plan to do, and ultimately its to save you and your brother. I do everything for you Dean, everything. Your trust shouldn't be asking too much." Cas said as he lowered his fingers.

"This isn't the way Cas, it just isn't." Dean shrugged. He shook his head and took off his jacket, walking into he bathroom. Cas looked over at Sam who just gave him a small shrug and a sad look.

"Cas... Can I talk to you?" I asked, standing awkwardly by the door. He hesitated for a second, looking back at Sam, before walking over to me and following me outside. I walked over to where we had parked the jeep, stopping and turning around to face Cas.

"What is this about?" He asked, looking confused. "What is this about... You Cas. You connecting yourself to the angel tablet and becoming God." I yelled, trying to hold back the tears.

"I don't understand why you are so against this?" He asked confused. I was about to say something but I held back from yelling at him, I knew anger wasn't going to get us anywhere. "I'm against this because it isn't you. All this power is eventually going to go to your head. I get it okay, I understand you just want to help and fix everything, that you are trying to do the right thing, but practically becoming god, it's not the way to do that." I said trying to be gentle.

"I want to protect you Emma. Protect Sam and Dean, and I couldn't do that before. Angels are after you, and I couldn't fight them off before, but now I can. Now I won't need to out smart Metatron, I can just wipe him off the face the earth, and the Leviathan... Well you saw tonight, they stand no chance now. This is for the best Emma, just like I told you."

I didn't know what to say, he seemed so determined and I knew he was just trying to do the right thing, but he didn't understand this wasn't the way. He closed the gap between us and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close to him.

"Emma listen to me, and please listen to me good." He said, his hand tilting my chin up to look at him. "I know you don't understand this but I need to do this and it is the only way. I'm going to protect you no matter what. I'm a sad excuse for an angel, I always have been, but if there is one thing I'm not going to fail at it's protecting you. You are the most important thing to me now. Before I used to just go about my business, doing whatever asked of me with out a purpose, but now I have one. You. The way I feel about you, how much you mean to me, I can never explain that to you, I wish you could see yourself through my eyes so you would know." He said, wiping the tears from my cheeks. "I know you don't like this but it's what needs to be done, and nothing you can say or do will change my mind. I promise when this is over, when all of this is over I will surrender this power and I will destroy the tablet so no one can ever connect with it again, but... I need to do this."

I stared into his eyes, lost for words. I wanted to tell him no, tell him he needed to give up this power but I couldn't think, my brain just shut down. I wrapped my arms around his waist and rested my head on his chest, closing my eyes. He pulled me as close to him as I could possibly get, squeezing me so tight it almost hurt.

I pulled away, backing up against the jeep, letting out a sigh. "So there is really nothing to get you to change your mind about this whole God thing?" I asked.

"I'm sorry." He muttered, giving a little shrug. "Well then I guess you should get back to saving heaven huh. Killing Metatron and all that." I shrugged back. I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up that he would change his mind, he could say he cared for me all he wanted but that didn't change anything.

"Emma—" He started to say but I pushed myself off the jeep and started walking back towards the house. I didn't want to hear anymore. I was almost to the house when I felt a hand wrap around my wrist and spin me around. Cas's arm wrapped around my waist and pulled me close to him, smashing his lips on mine. His other hand tangled in my hair. I had forgotten the last time he was so... Passionate.

He pulled away slightly, looking down at me. "I know I have no right to ask this of you, but please just... just don't give up on me." He said, his face full of sadness.

"I believe in you Cas, even if I don't like what your doing." I replied, giving him a little smile. "I will never give up on you. I don't care if you become the next Hitler angel, I'm always team Cas." I smiled up at him.

A smile came across his face and he bent down to try to kiss me again, but I took a step back before he got the chance. "Cas, I can't. You really hurt me when you decided to just leave, you can't turn around a few days later and think everything is just going to be all perfect, what was the point in even leaving? You decided to leave and go become god without me, and I'm not over that yet. I love you, and I will always love you but right now... I just, I can't."

"I see..." He said, looking down at the ground. "Well, it still doesn't change anything."

"I'm glad." I said, getting up on my tippy toes and kissing his cheek. "Stay safe... Please. You may be god status but it does not mean you are invincible. Even superman has his kryptonite." I said, looking up at him. He gave me a small smile and I took a few steps back before turning around and walking back to the house, I paused as I opened the door looking back out at the yard hoping to see Cas one more time, but when I looked back it was empty, no angel in sight.


End file.
